r.a.b. 🖤

just a side blog where I can simp about my favourite slytherins, bc she who must not be named did them dirty (18+)

[ratboi--lennon]

If you've not finished Stranger Things, there might be some spoilers in this post. You've been warned.

It really is a singularly spectacular thing when a show flops So Hard in the finish line that an entire fan base deludes itself into thinking there will be a second, secret ending that fixes everything the finale fumbled. Now mind you, I didn't hate the finale, but I can understand why so many did.

First let's address the biggest complaint: What about all those loose ends??

My friends, that's capitalism hard at work. Even if the Duffs wanted to tell us everything (which I'm not convinced of, but who knows), do you really think Netflix would let them end the show in a way that doesn't lead to a million spin offs and tons of supplementary content? Yes, they've said this is the last time we'll see these characters on screen.... Together. There's already a gatekept play that gives all the Henry backstory, a confirmed spin off series, and I foresee a future littered with graphic novels, books and even more spin off shows that keep you hooked and engaged just to find out where Did your faves end up? What happened to Dr. Kay? And how about Byler??? It's just capitalism, plain and simple, ruining art made for the sake of art and good story telling. Expect more and more of this as time goes on. 🤷

As for the big one, my personal beef with them Damn Duffs. How did two men write the most beautiful, natural, engaging queer love story only to fumble it So Damn Hard right at the end? Look at the world we're living in. They spent ten years setting it up, but the world was very different ten years ago. Hell, even just a year ago. I'm willing to bet that if they didn't read the room and they Did attempt to write Byler into canon, they were likely stopped. However, I don't even think it got that far. I think they read the room and realized they'd get a bigger negative reaction if they canonized it than if they didn't, because after all, us queers are used to being baited and hurt. It happens all the time and we brush ourselves off, open AO3, and get to work.

Anyways, I've fallen hard down the ConformityGate rabbit hole, and I know it's so enticing to hope for something better, but I think we need to stop deluding ourselves babes. This is the world we live in, where mainstream art and creativity are only allowed through the lens of the big suits up top and what they think might sell the most merch and get the most views. So if you're feeling confused, let down, disappointed, well... Open AO3, where fix-it fanfiction will set it all straight. Or find a new creative work made by someone who doesn't have to answer to the likes of Netflix execs and throw yourself into that world next.

Anyways, like I said I didn't hate what we did get. There were even a lot of parts I enjoyed! Even if I want five minutes with the Duffs knees and a bat for the way they handled my bi idiot Mike Wheeler. They deserve jail for that ship bait and queer bait.

It's been real guys. And remember, maybe the real Episode 9 was the collective fanfiction we made along the way. ✌️

[slytherinsimping]

half convinced that Jegulus fans actually hate them bc why is every fic depressing as FUCK

[slytherinsimping]

every day I wake up and think today is the day I'm gonna write a CMBYN inspired Jegulus fic, and then the horrors prevent me from sitting down and actually writing

[shaneposting]

'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that

[slytherinsimping]

Will Wood is criminally underrated in the marauders fandom. This song is so Jegulus to me, so Regulus coming to terms with his feelings, it's 😙🤌

[slytherinsimping]

There should be an emotional support group for when you finish reading a long, MCD compliant fic 🥲

[slytherinsimping]

something something Jegulus and the song Silver Spring

[orchideous-nox-deactivated20251]

rip Barty Crouch Jr, he would have loved singing Barbie Girl as "come on Barty lets go party" to himself in the mirror

[slytherinsimping]

RIP Regulus Black you would've loved Lana

[foursaints]

cant stop thinking about "barty crouch jr fucks like a starving persistence predator on the savanna who sunk his teeth into a wounded antelope".... he is literally crunching his mandibles down and shaking his head dog-like sending viscera and spittle flying everywhere. he is rending flesh and keeping his forepaws pressed down on the jugular. he is cracking bone to go straight for the nutrient-rich organs with NOTHING else on the mind.

(this is about how evan casually initiates a hookup with barty, casually, and maybe tries to pull his hair and call him mean names or something but then he looks down and barty is PANTING with the repressed desire of one thousand burning suns. barty is gripping his hips like hes going to ragdoll evan around the room or kill them both. evan cant even humiliate him properly because bro is drooling over him with ZERO shame like evan's entire Condescending Victorian-Era Dom Who Allows You To Unfasten A Single Button On His Stockings playbook has been tossed out the window. this is a matter of survival now. he is starting to think he miscalculated??)

[romancefairy]

"i could fix him" well i actually think he's sexier when he's killing people

[slytherinsimping]

reputation is for Sirius

folklore/evermore is for Regulus

[foursaints]

evan rosier giving barty a clinical handjob in a nitrile exam glove with no emotion on his face besides mild curiosity. treating it like another one of his experiments and dispassionately checking barty’s face for reactions. barty who sleeps around but still gets off harder from being edged by evan’s literal singular (1) gloved hand than he ever has in his entire life with anyone else…

[slytherinsimping]

I still think this is one of the funniest crack thoughts I've had.

Disclaimer: no I don't actually ship them in any way

[slytherinsimping]

Some thoughts I had about Walburga and her children after rereading the series recently:

Sirius was the favourite child. I know the fanon tends to lean heavy on the abuse he endured and I'm not saying he didn't, but hear me out.

In Hallows Harry points out that Sirius has the bigger room right? Obviously he's the first born son, the original heir, this makes sense and I doubt Reggie's room was small. But after everything, even Sirius running away, Reg was kept in the smaller room. (Not to mention how Reg felt the need to way overcompensate in how he decorated his room, but I'll get to that).

Kreacher mentions that Sirius broke his mother's heart when he ran away, and I believe this. Think about it, he was a beautiful child (much more attractive than Regulus according to Harry), he was incredibly talented and probably showed signs of impressive magic at a young age, and he was the heir. Walburga's brother had three daughters, he failed to produce an heir, but she did. I'm willing to bet that Sirius was her pride and joy for the first eleven years of his life.

I know it's the fanon way to write Regulus as his replacement and say that Walburga must've seen something in Sirius and gave up on him, but I don't think so. Regulus was never his replacement, he was a back up. An afterthought. He secured that they would still have an heir if anything ever happened to Sirius, and he knew that was all he was. That's why Regulus had to try so hard to get their attention and approval. That's why his room was the time capsule of a perfect little heir, a perfect Slytherin, a perfect death eater. Where love and adoration came easy to Sirius, Regulus had to fight to be noticed.

Think about how Sirius acts on the train in Snape's memories. He's not some meek, abused child, he's lounging across an entire seat taking up space he feels entitled to. He's casual, funny, kind of mean. Defying his family feels like an afterthought once he meets James and decides he likes him.

I'm not saying the abuse didn't start after he was placed in Gryffindor, I just think up until he defied them Sirius was probably treated with a lot of respect. We see in canon that he can be arrogant and even downright cruel. I'd dare to say he was a bit of a spoiled brat until his family turned on him and he had to get out.

PLEASE don't assume I'm saying anything negative about his overall character though, Sirius is one of my absolute favourites! He's so much fun to write about and study as a character. And obviously fanon is fanon and it's all fine! I love reading (and even writing) stories where he was abused from a young age, stories where he absolutely wasn't the favourite, etc etc. I think all these situations can create a really interesting version of Sirius that's worth exploring!

I just personally don't think Regulus was treated like the little prince so many people write him out to be. I think a far more interesting take is that Sirius resents Reg for being 'born to replace him', but Reg resents that he only exists as a back up, an afterthought.

[bri-cheeses]

Barty and Evan running from Aurors after completing a mission, and then suddenly Barty is pulling Evan into an alleyway that Evan hadn’t even seen. And Barty is holding Evan’s body up against the wall, where the shadows are, keeping him in place with his own body.

And then Evan starts laughing quietly as the Aurors run by without even seeing the alleyway, little huffs of laughter escaping his lips, and he’s shaking with it. And Barty puts a finger to his lips and raises an eyebrow mockingly, and that was a bad idea because now Evan is staring at Barty’s lips and no longer laughing.

Barty’s eyebrow and cheeky grin drop as his hand does, and they’re both quiet for a moment.

“You know,” Evan says, still staring at Barty’s mouth, “they’re gone now. We can leave.”

“Mm,” Barty hums, nodding his head in agreement. “You’re right. We could leave.”

But despite his words he only leans in closer, his breath flitting across Evan’s skin. “We could leave”—his voice is low and gravelly as he leans in further still, and Evan’s breath is hitching in his throat—“but I don’t think I want to. Not just yet.”

And his lips are brushing Evan’s ear as he asks him in a whisper, “Do you?”

And instead of answering, Evan brings his hand up to Barty’s hair and turns Barty’s head in order to kiss him, hard.

And in that moment, they aren’t Barty Crouch Junior and Evan Rosier, wanted Deatheaters. In that moment, they are simply Barty Crouch Junior and Evan Rosier, the lovers who were never destined to make it to forever.

[poseidons-getting-milk]

look, the amount of canon we have for the mauraders era is limited, but yk what we do know? BARTY DOES A WEIRD LITTLE TOUNGE THING!!! why does no one talk about this? like that’s one of the few things we actually KNOW about his character.

and i know it drives Evan CRAZY!!