bone apple teeth !

i pile on the candy. it’s such a pretty sight. it makes the food taste dandy, but my tummy hurts all night. i’ll put in some ingredients, but keep the rest for me. i’m not just disobedient...i’m careful, can’t you see? it’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake. if the way is hazy, you gotta do the cooking by the book. you know you can’t be lazy! never use a messy recipe. the cake will end up crazy. if you do the cooking by the book, then you’ll have a cake. we gotta have it made. you know that i love cake. finally it’s time to make a cake! making food is just like science with tools that blend and baste. and every fun appliance gives the food a different taste. it’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake. if the way is hazy, you gotta do the cooking by the book. you know you can’t be lazy! never use a messy recipe. the cake will end up crazy. if you do the cooking by the book, then you’ll have a cake. we gotta have it made. you know that i love cake. finally it’s time to make a cake! we gotta have it made. you know that i love cake. finally it’s time to make a – you gotta do the cooking by the book! – cake.

[smatua]

csimz‌:

Fawn stiffened up immediately upon contact and, once freed, took a good few steps back. She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin, trying to feign enough boredom to cover up her discomfort. “Nice to meet you, as well,” She said it to be polite, though her flat tone was anything but.

Cara’s smile widened over her features again, this time confused but happy nonetheless. She stumbled slightly as he loosened his grip on the two women, and she laughed while tucking a fallen strand of hair behind her ear again. “Hey, um, I’d introduce myself, but you already know who I am. And I know you, of course, I’ve seen all of your Netflix specials. It’s so nice to meet you.” She paused for a moment, smiling at both of the faces before her, then shook her head in embarrassment. “Sorry, I’m just…it’s just…so nice to be here. I’m really excited for this movie, and it’s just all sort of surreal, you know?”

Solomon chuckled at both of the women’s reactions, each the complete opposite of the other. He nudged Fawn in the shoulder, relying as always on his charm to butter her up. “What’s with the long face? Have you gotten a vibe check lately because I have a feeling there’s a strong chance yours could harsh Cara’s.” He chuckled at his own joke and folded his arms loosely over his chest. “I’m excited to be here too. First movie, bang bang, let’s get it.”

[smatua]

csimz‌:

fawnlockwood‌:

“I don’t really do social media,” Fawn said vaguely, glancing over Cara’s head momentarily. There was the occasional post on Instagram or Twitter, but they were all taken from Getty Images, given generic captions, often crossposted on both platforms, and never actually uploaded by her. There wasn’t all that much to stalk, which had been her goal, much to her team’s displeasure.

“You know, that’s actually–” Cara started, but before she could finish her sentence…

...Solomon bounded up to two familiar faces with an impish grin blazing on his own features. “Cara Simmons and Fawn Lockwood,” he greeted them eagerly, one arm around each of their shoulders. It was more of a double headlock than a hug, but the keen, chummy nature of his demeanor outweighed that little tidmit. Releasing them, he added, “Solomon Matua or your resident William Cyrus Rae at your service. It is an absolute pleasure to meet you both, though I feel like we’re all already old friends.”

[smatua]

@csimz

@sgoldblum

@grceoh

[smatua]

siderii‌:

— Ira immediately recognized the voice, smiling to himself and turning around. “Man of peace himself,” he chirped playfully, mirroring this brand-new handshake-bro-hug from Solomon; “Your liege.” Turning slightly, he looked at the stack of small chairs. “Want me to read your forecast for you?” He offered, wiggling his fingers. “Anyhow, this is a fun booth—it’s about astronomy and meteorology. We’ve got lots of kids here at the Cape that’s into space, okay? I just need to finish setting up this whole thing.”  

Once he released Ira from his embrace, Solomon immediately turned to the chairs and got busy unstacking. He nodded over the work at Ira. “That sounds fun, dude. Does that mean you can tell me my horoscope?” He teased, but damn did he think he was funny! When he finished up the chairs, Solomon asked, “What else can I do to help?”

[smatua]

hcrdloves‌:

eddy had been looking forward the skipping the fall festival entirely, but sofia had insisted on going. lucky for him, cape hazel had come with a sort of built-in babysitter in the form of solomon matua, and he was able to relax at home instead of chasing after a kid hopped up on too much sugar all day. that was, until, of course, he got a phone call. “so, why am i here again?” he asked as he approached solomon, his nerves settling in as he waited for sofia’s signature squeal of a greeting, but didn’t hear it.

“So, uhhh, bad news, boss,” Solomon tried to keep the tone light, though that might not actually have been the best idea. His own nerves raced as he took a deep breath, trying to get the words out. He opened and shut his jaw several times before he finally managed to confess. “Sofia ran off.” He winced, bracing himself for Eddy to explode on him. Rightfully so.

[smatua]

rvetheday‌:

“our tattoos are kind of unfortunate now that’s he’s, like, a whole killer or whatever,” sawyer said with a laugh, though the topic wasn’t all that funny. the fact that he and solomon were stuck with these tattoos forever, though? that was kinda hilarious. “i don’t mind who takes over, though. do you think the new person will take up the blog? keep the weird tradition going?” he pondered, shoving a blob of cotton candy in his mouth as he posed the questions.

“Should we get them laser removed together? Would that be romantic?” Solomon laughed as he took an enormous bite from his own cotton candy, right off the stick. Threads of sugar clung between his mouth and the fuzzball as he munched. “I don’t know, it is kind of weird. But I don’t really know what to do with a mayor who isn’t talking shit about me on the web. How will we engage? How will it feel like they’re more than just a myor?”

[smatua]

jacekhouri‌:

jace sighed, resting his chin in his hand. “i’ve sold maybe two so far. is there any chance you want one?” he asked, holding a cd in front of solomon’s face. “it’s only seven dollars. am i charging too much? what am i doing wrong?”

Taking pity on Jace, Solomon dug his wallet from his back pocket. “Sure, I’ll take one. Do you take card? Or even better, Venmo?” He flashed a smile at Jace. “Artists gotta support other artists.”

[smatua]

aaronjmccoy‌:

aaron didn’t know whether to laugh or give solomon a good eyeroll. one of the most important things that his mother used to persistently tell him was to never talk while chewing food; it was impolite and, frankly, gross. “i can tell,” he said pointedly. he took a bite of his own corndog, chewing as solomon suggested to do something fun. “i don’t know about trouble, but we can go for a round of bean bag toss?”

Solomon took another enormous bite from his corndog, munching away as he made his suggestion. When he did, Solomon strode in front of him and clapped a hand on his shoulder, looking him deep in his eyes. “Aaron, look at me. I consider you a friend, so I say this with love. You gotta think bigger, man.”

[smatua]

sparkleshineeva‌:

“I’m more excited about the results. Because I hate the wait.” Eva admitted as they walked. “I just hope I can convince them to fundraise again for Around the Clock… If that’s still in limbo.” It seemed to be forgotten about, rightly so due to everything that happened after the money was stolen… “I wonder if Big Jimothy is gonna win honestly I always thought he was next in line for mayor.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Solomon shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know why a city would be fundraising for a business anyway. Seems like something the owner should do if you ask me. Maybe you can start a Go Fund Me. If Big Jimothy wins, though, you’ll have to count me out. I’m gonna move.”

[jacekhouris]

“why is no one buying my cds?” jace grumbled to himself, sitting in the chair behind his vendor table with frustration. “hey! hi! would you like to buy a cd?” he called to the person walking by his table.

[smatua]

Solomon watched from afar as Jace solicited a townsperson who simply looked his direction then walked away. With a wince, he wandered up to his fried and replied, “Oof, bad luck, dude.”

[smatua]

fawnlockwood‌:

“Not a werewolf. Not a vampire. Just a child star – well, not a star. I was in a couple of movies or whatever as a kid. No big deal. Nothing major.” Fawn stuffed another handful of popcorn in her mouth, cheeks bulging. She chewed a little awkwardly around all of the food in her mouth, roughly swallowing half-chomped food in an attempt to be able to talk sooner. “That’s why I was, uh, homeschooled. I missed out on the first few grades so my moms weren’t sure about me starting traditional school so late and all of my friends were, uh, kids of my… costars, anyway, so it just made more sense to continue homeschool so my life could stay consistent, which is important. When you’re a child. As I’m sure you know.”

Solomon’s brows furrowed when Fawn said she was a child star. They were children at the same time. Wouldn’t he know them? How was he just finding this out? (Okay, that one...well, she was pretty private. But, man. For this long?) “Wait, what movies? Dude, how have I never figured this out. When we first met, I thought you looked familiar, but I just figured you looked like someone in an 8 a.m. that I slept through for a semester or something. Dude. What?” Solomon asked again as it started to sink in. Honestly, it did explain a lot. But WHAT?

[smatua]

beanottrixie‌:

bea draped an arm around solomon’s shoulders and played with his hair absently. “as if. your ass is grass, salamander.” she wiggled lightly as he settled on the movie, clapping. “let’s make a drinking game out of it!” she said, grabbing her phone off the coffee table.

Solomon grinned when Bea suggested a drinking game; it was the same eager smile he wore any time someone suggested alcohol. “You don’t have to tell me twice. Let’s see...the synopsis of this is the stepdad turns out to be more than meets the eye. So I’m gonna say at least take a sip every time they zoom in one his face and he looks kinda evil -- I’d say a shot, but we’d have to go to the hospital in the next 20 minutes.”

[smatua]

violentparties‌:

indy didn’t know what to fucking do with solomon anymore. on the one hand, if she lost her shit at him like she so desperately wanted to, she was proving his point about her not being able to take a joke. if she played along with his antics, she was admitting defeat, and the very last thing she felt like doing today was unwrapping her car and clearing it of the mess the boy had made. “i can fucking take a—whatever,” she said, sighing mid-sentence, defeat finally kicking in, “just get the fuck out of my face.”

Solomon was nothing short of elated. Indy’s reaction was better than he could have fucking dreamed! She was infuriated! And she couldn’t do anything about it! Because then she would be fucking wrong! God really was out there! He gave her the most shit-eating grin of his entire life, which was a wonderful privilege for sweet Indy considering he doled them out like candy on Halloween. “Aw, are you sure, Annie? You seem awfully mad. Did I hurt your feelings?”

[smatua]

( @hcrdloves​ ) Solomon’s head bobbed over the crowd in panic, but no matter how far he searched, he couldn’t see that tiny mop of curls anywhere. The longer the clock ticked on, the higher his anxiety spiked, and he was tied to the flagpole as the marker until Eddy arrived. Honestly, though, maybe he should just leave. Avoid the confrontation. He was not looking forward to telling Eddy why he had to call him here.

[smatua]

maiaorion‌:

“The bar is too low for politicians. I hate america.” Maia said half joking walking along side of Solomon. “So what are you doing here?” She inquired.

“You’re not wrong,” Solomon agreed with a shrug. He quieted the voice inside him that had a lot more opinions to share; he didn’t want to damper the fall spirit! “I was thinking about heading to the apple orchard. I didn’t get to go last year, and I love sneaking some apples while I’m over there. What about you, you got plans?”

[smatua]

maiaorion‌:

“I guess so.” Maia said buckling in her seatbelt. “If you knew my sister she’d say you’ve made a bad choice.” She laughed hooking her phone up to the aux cord.

“Well, your sister clearly isn’t someone with taste, so I won’t take her opinion too seriously,” Solomon joked, making a cheap joke at the expense of someone he hadn’t even met. He pulled off the road onto a gravel path that led closer to their destination. “We’re almost there. But does your sister live around here? How come we’ve never met?”

[sparkleshineeva-archive-deactiv]

Last year a festival followed her arrival in the cape and now another one fell on the one year mark. A lot of things happened some good some bad, (the burning of her favorite restaurant still stung) but she'd do it all again (except losing Around The Clock) Eva had actually had time to make things to sell during the festival. "I wonder if hiring someone to run a vendor table for me would be a thing to do in short notice... I have way too many trinkets I haven't sold yet..."

[smatua]

Solomon had a few minutes until his volunteer shift for the festival, so he took them to wander around the hubbub. In the process, he ran into Eva at her own table. “Hey, these are cool! Did you make them yourself?” he asked, immediately reaching for a trinket and turning it over in his palm a few times before holding it up to the light. “Do you just need to go or something?”