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*sighs*
"steponmemommymilkers69"
Ethan: *Sneaks in & out fo frame*
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blake kathryn
Keni

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

#extradirty
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
NASA
Mike Driver

izzy's playlists!
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Cosimo Galluzzi

tannertan36
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
d e v o n

★
Stranger Things

ellievsbear

shark vs the universe
seen from Taiwan
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@snake-fish
"Thank you for the 100 gift subs...."
*sighs*
"steponmemommymilkers69"
Ethan: *Sneaks in & out fo frame*
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Chat:🪓🖐🪓🖐🪓🖐
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This is my favorite meme on the internet. More compilations please.
sometimes...reddit is ok...
archive link to post (link). post text as follows:
This is so fucking stupid. I can't believe I'm doing this. I never use reddit, sorry if I do something wrong.
I (a 19 yr old girl) was watching Star Trek TOS a few weeks ago with 3 other friends (one 18 yr old guy, the other two don't matter) over a video call. We get to the episode Amok Time, and long story short there's a scene where Captain Kirk's shirt gets ripped right across his pecs (it kinda looks like one of those boob window sweaters?? idk how to describe it I'm sorry)
So when Kirk's shirt gets ripped I say some dumb shit about him having fatty milkers and the two other friends laugh and we just start making tit jokes and making up increasingly stupid words for "boobs".
We watch a few more episodes then call it a day and disconnect the call, and a few minutes after disconnecting the call my guy friend (we'll call him Tom) messages me and brings up the Kirk boob jokes in passing, like he was trying to make it seem casual but I started feeling like he was bothered by it and wasn't telling me, you know? So I asked him if the tit jokes bothered him and he got really defensive and didn't really answer the question.
Later one of the other two people that was there (we'll call him Mark) messages me and tells me that my guy friend was mad at me. Apparently Tom had ranted to Mark about how William Shatner (the guy who played Kirk) was a huge inspiration to him as a kid and he thought I was being extremely disrespectful referring to his character (not even HIM, his CHARACTER) in such a derogatory way (as if William Shatner is gonna give a fuck that some teenage girl in central America said his old character had fat hooters, but I digress)
So Mark said I should apologize, I said it was stupid for Tom to have a temper tantrum over such a meaningless situation, Mark said that was mean, so I caved and apologized (and no it wasn't a backhanded apology, I messaged Tom and said I didn't mean to be disrespectful towards someone he looks up to and that I'd refrain from doing it in the future)
But then Tom continued to give me the silent treatment and fucking brings it up whenever we talk Star Trek and I ended up snapping at him that he was being childish for holding onto this for so long, and that I'd already apologized and I didn't see why this continued to be such an issue.
Tom is now giving an even harsher silent treatment. Mark sides with Tom for some reason, and the other friend just thinks this whole thing is funny. I don't think I'm the asshole, I'll admit it, but some outsider perspective would be nice. AITA?
the fact u didnt add some of the comments in the archives is so upsetting bc it means ppl r missing GEMS like these:
Cap’n on deck
I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job. There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept. The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.
Even in the house it was LOUD. Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval. You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off. It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.
At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks. People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.
One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit. It did. Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that. People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.
That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days
boys will be boys
CHRISTOPHER PIKE STAR TREK: SHORT TREKS, 2.02
sick
Bald dude's not even advocating for anything he's just bald and that's evil
Drugs guy about to take him out
thank you Drugs Guy for valiantly saving Sex Girl from the knife wielding maniac
nah, drugs-guy has proper trigger discipline. monkey-boy is most likely to kill somebody.
MY HOLOGRAPHIC PANDA EXPRESS SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YO NO WAY I JUST FOUND A PERFECT HESRT LAKE IN A DESERT BIOME
AYO???????
So this is in the world I’ve been using for my screenshot redraws!!!! Or at least the 2 most recent ones- so!
Seed: 5742613388566557154
Cords for this: XYZ -1009.381 / 64 / 3247.715
Moths got mind-fucked. I repeat: moths got mind-fucked.
he was in the fridge!!!
ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but.... the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha
the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there... idk if I’d ever recover
@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food
Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time...
mutuals put me in your fridge
Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate's house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said "Oh, there's more in the basement fridge."
So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It's not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it's apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.
"Hey Andrew." I say, nonchalantly. "So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?"
"The what?" says the other member of the group project. I don't remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.
"Oh! No, that's Andrew Too." he says. "His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays."
"You named your tortise after you?" I ask.
"No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him 'Andrew Too'. ...Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He's pretty cool when he's awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn't bark."
"Oh!" Said Butterflies. "My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?"
"Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We're going to make him a carrot cake!"
@gallusrostromegalus was he named after his grandfather or the tortoise
You know? I'd always assumed he was named after his grandfather but his mom was a crazy woman who ate Crasins by the handful and dressed their tortise up as a rotating cast of founding fathers for president's day so I'm not sure.
RIP yahoo answers
baroque in the 21st century
if would be a nightmare to wake up one day to a dozens of text messages saying “congratulations!” and “you reached your goal!” and “go get ‘em tiger” etc only to find a gofundme page entitled Let’s Get My Boy Over Here Some Sloppy Suck Suck!!! with a blurry image of me clearly taken through a window brushing cheeto crumbs off of a white tank top, eyes glued to the television screen at 1 AM. i click open the tab and i find it was organized by my very well meaning (until now) heterosexual friends who figured the reason i am slouching so much is because i, as the description states, “[have not] had [my] balls drained good in a while if ever.” the campaign description goes on to describe me as “good natured, if not small in stature and likely even smaller in penis but we aren’t gay so we aren’t sure we’re not gay so we never saw it” and that i need a “thick assed Whole Foods shopping silver fox type 40 year old to toss [me] some brain.” enraged, i storm out the door to my apartment, only to find that they’re here to enact the second stage of the plan: completely covering me in air fresheners. 4k worth of them. scents they assume gay men like and are into. they cover me in that cologne that comes in the shape of a dude’s torso, deer attractant, and royal jelly from bees as well as many , like i said, air fresheners from cars. completely decked out not dissimilar to a christmas tree, i am waddled into the nearest gay bar where the stench of me makes everyone pass out. the plan failed, and, the IRS gets involved, because they laundered the other 4k of the 8k USD raised to buy a bunch of suedofed. i don’t know how to spell it. you know what i mean. that would be my nightmare. the only course of action at that point, not to be grim, would be faking your own death, or dying for real.
This post is my phone background