snklists

A list-based blog based on Attack on Titan!

[snklists]

Eren’s Bucket List

The idea for this list is based off a post made by bleachlists.

As you all may be aware, the Attack on Titan universe is a dangerous place. Sure, its no Game of Thrones, but the mortality rates are still pretty damn high. Isayama has also proven that he is perfectly fine with killing off beloved characters. *cough*Marco*cough*

So let’s pretend that Eren suddenly became aware of the fact that him being the main character does not in fact give him plot armor against a horrible death. What would he like to do before he kicks the bucket?

1. Find out what the hell is in the basement

 To be fair, this one would probably make several of the characters, as well as most of the fandom’s, bucket lists. And while he’s at it, maybe get to the bottom of all the other mysteries Isayama has created, such as the ape titan.

 Hanji: Eren, we finnaly managed to make it to the Shiganshina district and...

 Hanji: The basement is just an empty room.

 Eren: ...

 Eren: *high-pitched screech*

 Fandom: *high-pitched screech*

2. Get to glimpse the ocean.

 One of his childhood dreams.

 Armin: Well Eren according to my calculations there is no way we’ll actually get to the ocean without getting ripped apart, so here is a kiddie pool with a blue screen behind it! Now if you’ll just squat down so that the water looks as vast as possible, and I’ll make some wave noises.

 Eren: ...

 Eren: Thanks, man.

3. Wrap the scarf around Mikasa one last time.

 Because a promise is a promise.

 Jean: Jaeger, hold on! Just stay alive until those freak regeneration powers of your kick in, dammit!

 Eren: *shallow breathing* I’m sorry, guys. This is the end of the line for me...

 Mikasa: Eren, don’t say that-

 Eren: No,Mikasa, there’s no time, I need you to listen to me. Come here.

 Mikasa: Yes, of course.

 Eren: Good. Now kneel down. *makes constipated face*

 Mikasa: Eren, what are you- 

 Eren: Well, my arms are sort of gone, so I’m trying to use the force to tie the scarf around you one last time. 

 Mikasa: ... 

 Mikasa: If you weren’t dying right now, I would fucking kill you.

4. See Jean dressed up as a horse.

 Now this would be hard to achieve, but I can think of one way.

 Eren: *coughs up blood* Jean... I have one final request for you too...

 Jean: Please tell me it’s not something weird like with Mikas- I mean sure, man, anything.

 Eren: *produces horse mask out of thin air*

 Eren: I need you to wear this for me,Jean.

Jean: Jaeger, there is no way in hell-

 Eren: Please, there’s no time..

 Jean: *reluctantly puts on mask*

 Eren: NAHAHAHA I GOT YOU GUYS GOOD THERE DIDN’T I! MAN JEAN I MUST SAY I CANT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MASK AND YOUR NORMAL FACE

 Eren: I WILL PAY YOU TO NEIGH RIGHT NOW

 Jean: Mikasa, do you want to kill him or should I?

5. Be an organ donor

 In case his whole 'save everyone' plan doesn't pan out, Eren still wants to help others. And considering his regenerative powers, he could at least donate a limb or a organ or something to another unfortunate survey corps member.

Hanji: Eren, you realise we don't have the technology for this yet.

Eren: Well, you have a perfectly good research subject right here.

Hanji: I like the way you think.

6. Get to talk to his mom again.

 This is more of a general hope than anything he actually hopes to achieve.

 Carla: Eren! You've gotten so big!

 Eren: Mom!

 Carla: Have you been taking care of Mikasa?

 Eren: Yes, of course! Eh... mostly...

 Carla: ...

 Carla:  EREN JAEGER WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU TRIED TO SQUISH HER LIKE A BUG

7. Eat a decent meal.

 What with the suvey corps meals of thin soup and stale bread as well as all the kidnapping and hiding thats been going on, the 104th squad hasn't really been getting a very varied diet.

 Eren: Man, this is so good! Sasha, what is it?

 Sasha: It's something called bacon! I got it from the commanders supply closet.

 Eren: I am going to die a happy man.

8. Touch Erwins eyebrows.

 Are they eyebrow toupes? Caterpillars that colonize people's faces like some horrible eyebrow parasites? Actual wings that will propel him off the ground in extreme situations?

 Erwin: Eren, for your great contributions to humanity, I will grant you any one wish, as long as it is within my power.

 Eren: I want to touch your eyebrows, please.

 Erwin: Um, alright.

 Eren: *reaches forward with trembling fingers and touches an eyebrow*

 104th squad: *waits with baited breath*

 Eren: ...

 Eren:...

 Eren: I think I just had an epiphany.

[snklists]

Attack on Titan characters react to their fandom selves!

As people in the SnK fandom may have noticed, we sometimes tend to dumb character’s personality traits down to only a basic few, sometimes for humorous purposes. Basically, here are my interpretations of the exaggerated versions of the out-of-character Attack on Titan cast as invented by the fandom, as well as how the actual canon characters might react to their other selves!

1. Fandom Marco meets canon Marco

 (C)Marco: ...

 (C)Marco: I appreciate that my personality is probably the one that’s been changed the least out of the ones on this list, but this fandom seems to have a really hard time grasping the fact that I am in fact canonically dead.

 (C) Marco: Half my body was gone, guys. Accept it.

2. (Fandom) French, fancy Levi meets canon Levi.

 (F) Levi: Hon hon hon,shall we adjourn to the salon, my beloved?

 (C) Levi: ...

 (C) Levi: What the actual titan shit happened here

 (C) Levi: Also apparently being humanity’s strongest means having no muscles whatsoever.

3. (Fandom) Crazy Hanji with a titan-fetish meets canon Hanji

 (F) Hanji: Ahahaha let me lick your arm, Eren! Ahahaha I’m going to dissect you now!!

 (C) Hanji: ...

 (C) Hanji: I am afraid that you are a health hazard and must be terminated.

 (C) Hanji: Although this concept of alter egos is very intriguing... I might just dissect you afterwards.

 (F) Hanji : AHAHAA DISSECT HEE HEE HEE

 (C) Hanji: ... Dammit

4. (Fandom) Angry Eren meets canon Eren

 (F) Eren: RAAAGH KILL ALL THE TITANS

 (C) Eren: Ok it feels really weird to say this to myself, but dude

 (C) Eren: I’m just trying to protect the people I care about. I don’t know what it is you’re up to, but you seriously need to chill

5. (Fandom) Un-feeling, cold Mikasa who is obsessed with Eren meets canon Mikasa

 (F) Mikasa: My speciality lies in the slicing of meat. And also in Eren. Eat your vegetables, Eren. Shower regularly, Eren. Never leave my side, Eren. Where are you going , Eren.

 (C) Mikasa: *repulsed look*

6. (Fandom) Food-obsessed Sasha meets canon Sasha

 (F) Sasha: HEEHEE GIVE ME POTATO CONNIE YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE POTATO IMMA STICK IT IN MY MOUTH

 (C) Sasha: As someone who literally fended off a titan with nothing but a bow and arrow I must say I’m kind of insulted.

7. (Fandom) Screaming/crazed genius Armin meets canon Armin

 (F) Armin: *shrill screaming* IF THIS TACTIC WORKS THEN THAT MEANS I’M NOT COMPLETELY WORTHLESS AAAHHHHH

 (C) Armin: ...

 (C) Armin: What. Just what.

8. Fandom Jean meets canon Jean.

 (C) Jean: Well at least you don’t have a crazed gleam in your eyes that’s a good sign-

 (F) Jean: *puts on horse mask*

 (F) Jean: *neighs*

 (C) Jean: Ok guys it’s starting to hurt a bit

[snklists]

Hi guys!

First of all, I am so sorry for the long inactivity on this blog! There’s just been a lot of schoolwork mixed with lack of inspiration. But snklists is officially back in business, and as always, all requests are welcome!

I’d also like to wish all my followers, especially you guys in nordic countries, a happy midsummer!

[snklists]

How Bertholdt would confess (or try to confess) to Reiner

Request by slswhitefire~

As we all know, Bertholdt x Reiner is a relatively popular ship within the SnK fandom, partly because the two of them were alone in the wild for a very lengthy period of time and were always partners in crime and basically inseparable from each other. So let’s say that Bertholdt had come to realize that he had feeling for his fellow titan shifter. How would he attempt to confess his feelings?

1. Hint it through casual pick-up lines.

Because Bertholdt is nothing if not traditional.

 Bertholdt: You must be from Tennessee, because you’re the only TEN I SEE

 Reiner: Are you making a reference to their team being called the Tennessee titans because damn it Bertholdt we’re trying to be undercover here

 Reiner: Also for the sake of canon what’s a Tennessee

 Bertholdt: ...

 Bertholdt: *nervous sweating*

2. Tries to write a cute note to stick in a book that he then gives to Reiner

 Less direct than actually verbally confessing, and romantic if done right.

 Reiner: ‘I am ready to stop being a warrior and start being warriors’?

 Reiner: This doesn’t even make any sense

 Bertholdt: *now an old, withered man* I may have forgotten to factor in how Reiner doesn’t read much

3. Casual bodily contact.

 To warm Reiner up to the idea of there being something more between the two of them. 

 Bertholdt: Wow, nice job killing that titan, Reiner!

 Bertholdt: *goes in for the hug*

 Snklists girl: And here we can see two possible outcomes

 Outcome 1: Bertholdt squashes Reiner like a fly because he forgot that they were in titan form. 

 Outcome 2: Reiner misreads him and gives Bertholdt a chest-bump

 Bertholdt: *sweats nervously*

4. Uses his blade to carve a heart into the body of a titan

 To impress Reiner *whilst* confessing to him

 Reiner: Wow theres so much steam coming off that titan I can’t see a thing!

 Bertholdt: I may have miscalculated

5. The classic ‘rose petals on bed’ method

 Because Bertholdt is if nothing else traditional

 Sasha: Wow, Bertholdt, those red potato chips were really something else!

 Bertholdt: Is the universe conspiring against me

6. With a romantic candle-lit dinner

 Bertholdt: We will start off with this super romantic stale bread

 Bertholdt: And then move on to this super sensual bowl of soup

 Bertholdt: Which will have a heart made out of kethup floating on the surface

 Bertholdt: ... That apparently sinks to the bottom of the bowl immediately  because the soup is ridiculously thin.

 Bertholdt: Fml

 7. Tries to sacrifice himself for Reiner, then confess as his hero

 Shadis: And today’s final sparring partners will be... Reiner and Annie, and Bertholdt and Christa!

 Annie: *casually flexes muscles*

 Reiner: *gulps*

 Bertholdt: Reiner, let’s switch partners!

 Reiner: But Bertholdt, Annie is gonna tear you apart!

 Bertholdt: I’ll do it for you, Reiner. Speaking of which, I need to tell you something.

 Reiner: Wait. Ohhh. I see what you’re doing. Alright Bertholdt, thanks for taking on Annie for me, you’re so brave. *glances at Annie, nudges Bertholdt with a sneaky grin, then walks off*

 Bertholdt: I am just bad at this, aren’t I. 

8. Straight-forward face-to-face confessing

 Because after all these failed attempts, he feels like he has nothing to lose.

 Bertholdt: Reiner, listen. I like you.

 Reiner: I like you too, bro.

 Bertholdt: No, you don’t understand, I like you. 

 Reiner: No need to repeat yourself, bro. I like you too.

 Bertholdt: *sweats nervously*

[snklists]

Attack on Titan characters! Levi has turned into a titan! What do you do?

Requested by slswhitefire~

Eren: Oh my God, we are so dead right now

Jean: It was nice knowing you all

Connie: I can’t believe my last meal was stale bread

Marco: *cough*mystalebread*cough*

Armin: Calm down, guys! We need to assess the situation!

Erwin: That’s right, Armin. First things first, how did Levi turn into a titan?

Moblit: Is the lance corporal a titan shifter?!

Hanji: Actually, about that...

Moblit: Squad Leader no

Hanji: The other day I was thinking about how Erens titan is so useless compared to Annies-

Eren: Rude

Annie: It’s true

Eren: Doesn’t mean it’s not rude

Hanji: Anyway, so just for fun, I started imagining who would be the strongest titan, and well.. humanitys strongest seemed like such an obvious choice!

Mike: And how exactly did that little imagination of yours escalate into a titan with an extremely good fighting ability trashing head-quarters

Hanji: Well you see the idea was so interesting to me that I just had to try it out! So I may have snuck into Levis room and injected a titan serum I created into his arm while he slept.

Mike: I’m starting to feel that you’re going to be even more screwed than you already are when the corporal turns *back* into a human

Hanji: The good news on that front is, he might not! I never actually tried the serum on a human before, you see

Moblit: Well we certainly cant have him turning our military base to rubble

Armin: Are you suggesting we put him down?

Mikasa: Mikasa approves.

Marco: So taking into consideration the corporals advanced fighting abilities, we’ll probably have to mobilize some of the strongest survey corps members, preferably the veterans. We should first try to render him incapable of moving, to prevent any unnecessary causalities...

Sasha: Hold on, guys, do we really want to do this? I mean we might end up with dead people, and even if we can manage to get to the nape of his titans neck... This guy is humanitys strongest. If we kill him, what will happen to us?

Connie: You make some good points.

Ymir: Does anyone actually know what his titan looks like, anyway? I feel like we’re just making really vague plans here.

Veterans: *awkward shuffling*

Hanji: Well, you guys know how Bertholdts titan was way taller than what we thought was possible for a titan to be before?

Bertholdt: No no idea what are you talking about squad leader

Bertholdt: *sweats nervously*

Erwin: Well, you see, he’s... well, tiny

Erwin: Maybe 1.5 meters.

Erwin: And really muscly, which is a disturbing combination.

Mike: He also appears to have hair. Sprouting from his chest.

Mike: In the shape of a cravat.

Eren: ...

Mikasa:...

Armin:...

Jean:...

Eren, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Bertholdt: WHAT KIND OF MONSTER HAVE YOU CREATED HANJI

    *collective vomiting noises in distance*

Mikasa: I’d like to take a picture of that and use it as blackmail please

[snklists]

Attack on Titan characters as mythical creatures!

1. Levi-Basilisk

What mythical beast better suits him than one whose gaze will petrify at best and kill if you’re not careful?

Connie: Check it out, corporal! I finally finished cleaning the dining hall!

Levi: *cold stare*

Connie: *muffled shrill screaming whilst hurriedly grabbing a mop and attacking the floor with it*

2. Eren- Werewolf

Werewolves are men that transform into wolves when the moon is full. Eren has just as much control over his transformation as one, anyway.

Armin: Not to mention, you get some serious fabulous hair growth!

3. Annie- Shapeshifter

Shapeshifters are traditionally people that can transform into animals yet still be able to retain their own minds while doing so, and Annie is just so much better at this whole controlling yourself while you transform thing than Eren.

Eren: Well, that doesn’t matter, since I always have friends to restrain me when I go crazy!

Eren: Even though I might have accidentally almost killed them a few times!

Annie: Case in point.

4. Jean- Minotaur

A minotaur is a mythical creature from Ancient Greece that has the head of a bull and the body of a man. You might wonder why I didn’t go with centaur for this one. But frankly, I just feel that his face looks a lot more like that of a bull than his lower body and a horses.

Jean: ... I don’t know whether to be happy or annoyed.

5. Krista- Syren

A beautiful maiden that sits on rocks and enchants sailors with song at first glance, with a dark secret being the fact that she will tear you apart and kill you brutally? Hell yeah!

Hanji: Also, they don’t seem to conform to heterosexual attraction, if you catch my drift

Ymir: What

Krista: What

Hanji: What

6. Erwin- Hydra

The hydra grows two heads for each that is cut off. Erwin got his arm bitten off, but came back twice as strong and overthrew the government!

Hanji: There’s also a point to be made about the whole many heads-many brains- Erwin is a strategic genius thing.

7. Mikasa- Cerberus

Cerberus is the immortal three-headed dog that guard the entrance to Hades. He incidentally also has black fur!

Eren: Are you implying that I am literally hell?

Armin: To be fair, Mikasa protects a lot of people! Isn’t that right, Mikasa?

Mikasa: ... Hades is filled by the many souls of eternal damnation.

Armin: That’s the spirit!

Jean: I’d like to think that Cerberus has a red collar!

Mikasa: What is that supposed to refer to

Jean: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

[snklists]

Attack on Titan characters! Levi is actually 60 years old! Reactions?

As we all know, Isayama has always been very secretive about Levi’s age. However, he did mention in an interview that Levi is a bit older than thirty. But if we pretend that that never happened, and it was at some point dramatically revealed that Levi is 60, how would the SnK cast react?

Eren: WHAT

Jean: WHAT

Connie: WHAT

Erwin: What, you guys didn’t know?

Eren: APPARENTLY NOT

Jean: Does that mean he’s like the oldest person in the survey corps?

Armin: I should think so, or at least among the people that still go on missions outside the walls.

Ymir: I must say, he has moves for such an old man

Hanji: Yeah, I wonder what his secret is. 

Hanji: .... I wonder how much I’d have to bribe him to dissect his body later.

Eren: But he can’t be younger than commander Pixis, right? I mean, he’s only like...

Eren: OK WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OLD PEOPLE IN THE MILITARY

Reiner: Yeah, isn’t there a retirement age or something?

Bertholdt: I think that’s just something they can’t afford , considering the rather high mortality rates we have.

Bertholdt: Although I’m sure the corporal is going to get an excellent pension some day!

Mikasa: I feel that the fact that humanity’s strongest is a 60 year old man says a lot about the situation we’re in right now

Connie: But I mean as shocked as I am I must say it sort of makes sense.

Sasha: Yeah! That cravat? So 1660!

Connie: ... I think we need to revisit your math skills.

Eren: Wait so all the times the fans were shipping him with us cadets he was actually

Eren: Okay that’s a bit disturbing.

Hanji: And he might be making all those shit jokes ironically

Hanji: Because you know

Hanji: Old people

:Hanji: Bowel movements

Petra: .... I did not need that mental image thank you very much. 

Armin: That might also explain his tea addiction

Jean: Do you think he knits in secret?

Levi: What is going on here

Hanji: Oh, Levi! Do you want some tea?

Connie: Y-yeah, corporal! Sit down on this chair, rest a bit!

Levi: Why

Connie: N-no reason!

Levi: ...

Levi: Alright who told them

[snklists]

100 followers?!

Wow, guys! Milestone! Happiness! Confetti!

Thanks so much for the support!

(btw requests are open)

[snklists]

Survey Corps in... Hoe don’t do it

As you guys might be aware, there has been a meme going around the past few days which basically involves someone almost doing or insinuating something bad, another saying ‘hoe don’t do it’, person A doing the thing, followed by person B going ‘oh my god.’ So how would this meme work with the Survey Corps?

May contain spoilers for the anime

1. Sasha and Mikasa

  Mikasa: Sasha, do you want my bread?

  Sasha: hoe don’t do it

  Mikasa: *eats bread*

  Sasha: oh my god

2. Hanji and Moblit

  Hanji: *sticks head within half a metre of a titan*

  Moblit: hoe don’t do it

  Hanji: *almost gets head bitten off*

  Moblit: oh my god

3. Eren and Petra

  Eren: *raises hand towards mouth with an angsty expression whilst in some kind of life or death situation*

  Petra: hoe don’t do it

  Eren: *turns into a titan*

  Petra: oh my god

4. Fandom and Jean

  Jean: *looks at Eren with slightly tilted head and widened eyes*

  Fandom: hoe don’t do it

  Jean: What is it Eren

  Fandom: oh my god

5. Isayama and Fandom

  Isayama: *gives character depth and points of interest and potential attachment*

  Fandom: hoe don’t do it

  Isayama: *kills character off in some gruesome way*

  Fandom: oh my god

6. Bertholdt and Reiner

  Reiner: Eren, *determined look*

  Bertholdt: hoe don’t do it

  Reiner: We’re the colossal and armored titans.

  Bertholdt: oh my god

7. Survey corps and the king

  King: *exists*

  Survey Corps: hoe don’t do it

  King: *willingly sacrifices 1/3 of what remains of mankind, is controlled like a puppet by advisors, subjects own people to starvation, let’s the whole government go corrupt, almost entirely cut off what might very well be humanity’s best shot at defeating the titans*

  Survey Corps: oh my god

[snklists]

Attack on Titan characters in a zombie apocalypse!

1. First to die: Marco

 I regret nothing

2. Scout: Sasha

  It doesn't even matter if she's caught- Sasha has a tendency to get competitive over eating.

  Sasha: YOU WANNA EAT MY BRAIN

  Sasha: WELL YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH MY MOUTH TO DO IT AND TRUST ME IM NOT LETTING YOU OUTTA THERE

  Sasha: Wait that came out weird

3. Mascot: Bean

  Hanji insisted

  Hanji: Don't be sad, Sawney! You get a big part too!

4. Second to die: Sawney

  Turns out titans can also be infected with zombie virus. He had to be put down.

  Levi: It had to be done.

  Hanji: mY BABY LEVI YOU MONSTER

  Levi: ... He was literally trying to eat both your brain and your other body parts how is that a good combination

  Levi: If it makes you feel any better, you can disect him after this is all over, since the zombie virus may have taken away his corpse's ability to disintegrate.

  Hanji: ... You make some good points!

5. Medic: Krista

  Nominated by an overwhelming majority.

  Reiner: Krista, I think I may have ben bitten!

  Krista: Oh no! I think I'll just get some bandages and-

  Ymir: Nope sorry it's too late for you man you've got to be put down and I really didn't want this but someone has to do it-

  Reiner: Well that went downhill fast

6. Weapons expert: Levi

   There wasn't really any dispute on the subject, although Mikasa didn't seem to approve.

  Mikasa: You don't even know how to kill titans the proper way and yet you hope to handle a zombie invasion? Pathetic.

  Levi: ... Now listen here you little shit

7. Brains- Armin

  He varies between being happy and ridiculously stressed about it

  Armin: The fact that I'm the Brains in a zombie apocalypse just strikes me as unfortunate in every way possible.

8. Team Leader: Erwin

  Despite his sometimes uncommon methods.

  Erwin: WE MUST BE WILLING TO BECOME MONSTERS FOR THE GREATER GOOD OF HUMANITY

  Erwin: YOU KNOw WHAT THIS MEANS EREN

  Erwin: LET"S GO GET YOU BITTEN BY A ZOMBIE

  Eren: Wait what

9. Brawlers: Annie and Mikasa

  Eren was promptly removed from the team after... unprofessional behaviour

 Eren: ZOMBIES, STOP!

  Eren: HALT I SAY

  Annie: Now that's just sad.

[snklists]

Survey Corps! Is the dress white and gold or blue and black?

A week or so ago there was a notorious picture of a dress going around on tumblr that involved some kind of optical illusion and maybe some filters that made eveyone on tumblr start arguing with each oher even mor than usual. So what colors do Attack on Titan characters see in this dress?

  Jean: Blue and black.

  Eren: Gold and white.

  Jean: BLUE AND BLACK

  Eren: GOLD AND WHITE

  Jean: Back me up here, Marco!

  Marco: Sorry, Jean. Iv'e gotta side with Eren on this one.

  Eren: Suck it! Am I right, Mikasa?

  Mikasa: Actually I'm with Jean on this.

  Jean: *tears up a little* Mikasa!

  Sasha: Isn't it obvious that it's blue and black?

  Connie: Yeah, don't you people have eyes?

  Reiner: Oh we have eyes, we sometimes have eyes that are the size of your     torso ain't that right Bert-

  Bertholdt: Reiner you useless pectoral muscle stop talking

  Bertholdt: *sweats nervously*

  Annie: It's ugly. What else matters?

  Jean: BLUE AND BLACK

  Eren: WHITE AND GOLD

  Mikasa: *menacing air* Blue and black.

  Marco: *pleasant air of doom* White and gold

  Eren: OH THAT IS IT HORSEFACE YOU WANNA FUCKING GO

  Jean: BRING IT YOU-

  Levi: What the hell are you brats arguing over.

  Krista: Captain, look at this picture and tell us what colors you see.

  Levi: Hm? Blue and gold, obviously.

  Sasha: ...

  Reiner: ...

  Jean: BLUE AND BLACK

  Eren: WHITE AND GOLD

  Hanji: Guys, calm down! I researched it a bit, and turns out the dress has been put through some kind of filter in additioned to being photographed in a special lighting! The actual dress is... black and blue!

  Mikasa: Ha.

  Marco: YOU'RE LYING

  Eren: THAT'S RIGHT MARCO YOU TELL THEM

  Jean: WHO SHOULD SUCK IT NOW HUH

     *general bickering ensues*

Erwin: I can't believe the fate of humanity rests in the hands of these people.

[snklists]

2. Does your name sound suspiciously similar to any kind of bread

What

[snklists]

Attack on Titan trust falls!

A trust fall is like a trust-building exercise where you purposefully fall backwards and rely on the other person to catch you. How would this work out with some popular SnK couples?

1. Krista... is caught by Ymir!

  Krista: Wow, thanks Ymir!

  Ymir: Don't thank me, Krista. I did it for myself and for myself alone.

  Ymir: Also you're really light and sort of soft and smell nice

  Krista: What

  Ymir: What

2. Ymir... is dropped by Krista!

   Krista: I feel like trust falls imply trust, and I just feel like I have too many secrets for you to trust me, Ymir!

  Ymir: SO YOU DROPPED ME ON MY HEAD

3. Bertholdt... is caught by Annie!

   Bertholdt: I got a bit nervous there, to be honest! I mean, I did fall quite long, but somehow I knew you would catch me, Annie!

   Annie: ... You sort of smell.

   Bertholdt: *sweats nervously*

4. Annie... is caught by Bertholdt!

   Annie: Huh.

  Annie: I guess that's the kind of bond fellow criminals share.

  Annie: Why are you blushing

5. Petra... is dropped by Auruo

  Who then belittles her for not catching herself.

6. Auruo... is dropped by Petra.

  It was very satisfying for her to watch him bite his tongue on the way down.

7. Eren... is caught by Levi!

  One-handedly.

  Levi: This excercise is a waste of time.

  Eren: Corporal!

8. Levi... is caught by Eren!

  But not without some effort.

  Eren: *grunting* Wow, Captain! I must say, you weigh quite much for someone your size!

  Eren: WHAT NO I DIDN'T MEAN THAT I'M SORR-

  *Levi on Eren violence!*

[snklists]

Attack on Titan characters cook!

1.Hanji

 Is too busy experimenting with different ingredients to actually cook up  anything, much less anything good. 

 Hanji: I wonder what happens if I mix this apple sauce with this peanutbutter      and that jerky!

 Hanji: Levi, come try it!

 Hanji: Levi where are you going

2. Levi

 Is, despite his stony attitude toward the practice, actually really good. His  speciality seems to be making great food out of terrible ingredients.

 Petra: Wow Captain, you need to give me the recipe for that!

 Levi: Considering you're eating so enthusiastically right now, I think it would  be very brutal to tell you what you're stuffing down your throat.

3. Krista

 Loves cooking, especially baking in all forms

  Reiner: Wow, Krista, these pastries are so delicious!

  Krista: Thanks! 

  Reiner: What's your secret?

  Krista: Baking them with sugar and plenty of love!

  Reiner: ... Marry me

4. Historia

 Loves cooking, especially baking in all forms.

 Reiner: Wow, Historia, these pastries are delicious!

 Historia: Thank you.

 Reiner: What's your secret?¨

 Historia: I am actually the illegitimate child of the royal family and saw my mother murdered in front of my very eyes. Why do you ask?

 Reiner: What

5.Armin

 Isn't actually that good at cooking, but is fond of reading cooking books nevertheless.

 Armin: Eren, could you try cooking this stew when you have time?

 Eren: Sure, Armin.

6.Sasha

 She cooks surprisingly well, but no-one ever figures that out since she never cooks for other people.

 Ymir: Won't you get burnt eating that straight out of the pan?

 Sasha: Natural selection has eliminated that weak part of me a long time ago,   Ymir. I do what I can to survive.

 Ymir: ...

7. Mikasa

 Is absolutely horrible at cooking. Hates that fact.

 Mikasa: Eren come here I need you to try this cake and tell me what I can improve.

 Eren: *eating*

 Eren: Maybe try to use sugar instead of salt next time.

[snklists]

Attack on Titan characters meet Fullmetal Alchemist characters!

1. Eren and Ed

 Ed: Are you that kid with the magic growing powers?

 Eren: Well I guess you could call it that but it's really not-

 Ed: And you can regenerate limbs?

 Eren: Well yes but-

 Ed: Where can I apply to join your universe

2. Al and Annie

 Al: Is your body perfectly preserved yet trapped in a mystery space and is your physical form encased in some hard material?

 Annie: You're that kid that runs around with the main character and helps people, right?

 Al: Actually he's my brother but yea-

 Annie: We are nothing alike.

3. Winry and Hanji

 Winry: Do you want to take a look at my automail designs?

 Hanji: Yeah!

 Hanji: Do you want to take a look at my titan experiments?

 Winry: Yeah, they sound fascinating!

 Hanji: I like you.

4. Erwin and Roy Mustang

 Erwin: So you're vying for a leading position within the military, I hear?

 Mustang: Yeah! Any tips?

 Erwin: Always be willing to sacrifice a bit of your humanity for the greater  good.

 Mustang: Actually I was thinking mini skirts but

5. Bertholdt and Kimblee

 Kimblee: You know, for someone who I hear also likes to destroy stuff, you  look *pretty* tame

 Bertholdt: *sweats nervously*

6. Levi and Alex Armstrong

 Alex: *rips off shirt*

 Alex: LET US BOND OVER OUR MUSCLES MY FRIEND

 Levi: What. the. shit. 

[snklists]

Survey Corps! Levi and Mikasa are related! Responses?

Requested by blueshadowcat~

May contain spoilers for recent manga chapters

Jean: WHAT

Armin: I thought it was fairly obvious

Erwin: They have the same last name and everything

Historia: Yeah, that Kenny the Ripper guy did say he basically raised the  captain, and his last name was Ackerman, so…

Jean: BUT THEY’RE POLAR OPPOSITES

Jean: HE’S VIOLENT AND PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AND HAS AN AURA OF  DEATH ABOUT HIM AND SHE-

Jean: WEll she’s… uh… sweet and uh…

Eren: Stop talking, horse-face.

Ymir: It makes sense though. I mean they even look sort of similar, don’t  they?

Ymir: Black hair, narrow eyes

Jean: Very well-muscled

Ymir: …

Jean: … Sorry.

Sasha: And they even have similar senses of humor!

Sasha: What? Mikasa likes to joke about people farting. The corporal likes  joking about feces.

Kenny: My little Levi, already growing up and getting a family

Eren: HE’S LIKE 40 AND IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT GETTING A FAMILY IN  THE WAY THAT YOU SEEM TO BE IMPLYING

Eren: ALSO THIS IS A SURVEY CORPS ONLY POST GET OUT

Sasha: But don’t they sort of hate each other? Or at least Mikasa hates Levi after the.. you know, hearing

Kenny: Nah, a little burning malice is just part of normal family life!

Armin: But then again, that brings us back to the question of how closely  they’re related. I mean, Kenny said the Ackerman family is quite large, right?  And Mikasa’s from the Asian family? Maybe some Ackerman male married  into her family a while back and the name just got carried on

Erwin: What would she then call him? Uncle?

Hanji: Well the age gap is certainly to large for ‘cousin’, isn’t it

Mikasa: … Do you hear that, ‘uncle’ corporal

Levi: … Don’t ever call me that again.

Mikasa: Oh don’t worry. I won’t.

Levi and Mikasa: *emanating aura of passive aggression*

Jean: Okay I sort of see it now.

[snklists]

Hey Hey Hey. Guess who. Ha thats right its me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIEHFAJSHGALGL IH

Are you okay