Thanks for the memories, twloha-fsu. <3
I really cannot believe it. It feels surreal. This chapter of my life has actually come to an end.
A lot of people graduate and are proud and overwhelmed that their college experience is over. They’ll miss the parties they went to or they’ll look back all of their academic success.
But that’s not what I’m going to remember most. There’s something that has impacted me far deeper than that. Out of anything, I’m going to remember TWLOHA. I’m going to remember building it, being a part of it, making connections through it, and having to leave it behind.
Being a part of TWLOHA has taught me things that no class ever could. I’ve learned how to work with people, and how to be with people. I’ve learned what a community is. I learned that I didn’t have to struggle alone. I’ve been able to realize how important every individuals’ stories are. I’ve seen struggles come in all shapes and sizes. I’ve learned that pain is relative.
There have been hard things. The obvious pain of hearing other peoples’ stories and sharing my own, but there were more challenges, too. I’ve been an officer since our start (with the exception of this final semester). It’s been a long few years. I had to learn how to confront people early on. Working with people, with friends, is not always easy. I learned how important clear communication is and how necessary it is to have shared goals in a community. If those aren’t in place, there will be unfortunate consequences. I’ve felt the stress that falls upon leaders. I’ve had piles of paperwork. I’ve made sacrifices. I learned the hard way that I can’t be the one that everyone goes to, and that’s not what I’m meant to be. I’ve pushed and challenged myself harder than I ever had before.
But I’ve learned to take all of this in, and look at these things as lessons. I’ve grown so much from these challenges.
I really could go on forever about everything I have gained from TWLOHA-FSU. I learned what a true community is. It’s not just a group of people. It’s a group of people who can be themselves around one another. A group of people who can live alongside each other. It’s a safe place. It’s a whole that is even greater than it’s parts. It’s made up of unique individuals who, despite so many differences, come together for a common purpose. The purpose is hope. Hope for friends and family who are struggling. Hope that society can overcome a stigma. Hope for ourselves. Hope that we can find hope for ourselves.
I’ve learned that it is okay to ask for help. That there should truly be no shame in this. I’ve offered help and I’ve walked people to help. And I tried to get help for myself, instead of just directing others. I gave myself that chance.
One of the greatest impacts were the people. I’ve met so many people through this organization. So many incredible individuals. I’ve met people who were just there to support the cause. I’ve met people who have overcome some awful things, and people who are still fighting to do so. I’ve met those who come and go. And I’ve met people who will be in my life, forever. I’ve met amazing, inspiring, and unforgettable individuals.
These people became my friends and my family. I had a home away from home. I’ve shared laughs and done crazy things with these friends. We’ve wrapped people in tape to make a mannequin. We’ve taken late night trips to Georgia. We’ve had many late-night dinners. We’ve gone to Disney. We’ve gone to campus carnivals. We’ve tabled in the hot sun and in the rain. We’ve let balloons float up into the sky to let go of our fears. We’ve told each other that we’re beautiful. We’ve gone roller-skating and bowling together. We’ve taken too many photos and laughed at too many goofy things. We’ve become closer than I could have ever imagined. I’ve had some of the happiest moments of my life with people I’ve met through TWLOHA.
And I’ve also had some of the hardest moments, too. At the first stories meeting, I told more people my story than I ever had in my life, combined. I was terrified. I had never put myself out there like that. People shared their struggles, and we all sat and hurt for them. I used to really only be vulnerable by myself. But now I have people to turn to. I had never been so open and vulnerable with anyone. I struggled, I lied about it, and I fought for myself. I let myself cry in front of people for the first time in years. I was a shoulder to cry on. I watched people fall when they were beyond any help I could give them… and I saw them stand up again.
This whole experience has been so incredible. I’m so thankful that my passion and my struggles lead me to where I am, today. It has been a lot. I’ve learned so much. These are lessons about people. About struggles. About hard work. Lessons about life.
There have been a lot of thoughts racing through my head today. Things that I can’t really describe, things that don’t make sense. But there are a few things that I know, for absolute sure. One is that I am happy. I am happy and proud to have helped build this beautiful community. I’m happy that I’ve helped something that will live and shine its light long after I’m gone from FSU. I’m happy that people will find comfort and a community and a family in this, like I did. I have hope that this group can change a person’s life like it has changed mine. And that’s another thing that I’m sure of: I would not be who I am, today, if it were not for this group. This has completely made my college experience, and my life over the past few years. It has given me a sense of purpose. It has given me something to do. It has let me act on my passion. It has brought me the best friends that I could ever ask for. It has helped me grow as a person.
I still cannot believe that this beautiful chapter of my life is now over. It is so difficult to say goodbye. And I don’t want to. But the chapter is in wonderful and capable hands, and I am so happy to know that.
I am so thankful for everyone who has been a part of these past few years, for everyone that has helped shape my life. From everyone who has ever attended our meetings, to TWLOHA HQ, to other TWLOHA Chapter leaders, to my best friends that I met because of this… Thank you. Thank you for existing and for inspiring.
I write this to remember. I want to look back on these moments forever. These moments that were the core of my college experience. The ones that have helped me become the person that I am. I will always be thankful for these memories. This will forever be a piece of me.
My handy dandy statcounter told me someone viewed my page through this link. I’m guessing it was @wwishfulthinking since the IP points to where you live. Maybe it’s not Maybe it was a bot. Maybe you were just trying to figure out who I am, since my name has changed. If you are, it’s Elisabeth. Regardless, whoever it was didn’t find much since I haven’t updated this site in a while.
I reread this post and it made me smile and it made me nostalgic and it made me grateful to have shared this experience with the friends I made through this group. We don’t talk nearly as much as I imagined we would, and if I’m honest, I’ve forgotten a few. I don’t even know if I would go to a reunion, were there one. There are too many shadows I’m not ready to face and too many strangers I don’t want to meet. I mean the strangers that came after I graduate, but truly,10 years down the line, we’d all be strangers. I’d rather see people one on one, instead of experiencing the surface level party chatter that would happen if there was a reunion. Yet there are people who I will never forget, and there is not a person I met through this group who I do not have fond memories of. I grew tremendously because of this group. I would not be where I am today or who I am today if not for the people I met through TWLOHA. There is a chapter where I work, and I hope they get out of it what I did. It was lifechanging, in the best way. I have two sets of memories from college - those formed with TWLOHA and those formed with my Landis family. There are few others. And all are great.
Today, I am doing really well, and I’m happy. There are some things missing, but there are many things in place. I live in a beautiful mountain town that is sometimes boring but often times so breathtaking that living 2 hours from anything doesn’t matter much. We have seasons and I love all of them, although Spring with its allergies is my least favorite. I never had allergies until I moved here. Fall is my favorite and it is almost here. I am so excited. Winter is cold, but snow is as gorgeous as the pictures make it look. And summer is actually enjoyable, with most days barely breaking 80.
I noticed I was still looking for community when this was posted. I’ve found it. Our community ebbs and flows, but I have people I can turn to who I can trust. Vulnerability is a value we didn’t have to force. We have simple fun together; trivia nights and hikes and potlucks and mini adventures. Spontaneous cookie and movie nights. Random dinners out and cooking in. Most of them work in the helping field, and they are kind and generous and empathetic. They are good people and I am glad I found them.
I enjoy my job. I have brilliant colleagues. Benefits couldn’t be better. My apartment is not a house, like I wish I had, but it is all mine and it is usually quiet. It has everything I need and it is a 5 minute drive to work. I will probably stay here until I leave this town. The rent is great, the location is great, and I can have my pets.
I have a cat, which isn’t really news. I also now have a dog, since about May. He is a 70 pound boxer, much larger than I originally wanted, but things happen and he stole my heart. He is everything I could want in a dog - so sweet, so smart, so cuddly, not a barker, and so friendly. He is a little disobedient at times, and he’s still a puppy (a big 1 year old puppy) so he’s got puppy energy and teenage rebelliousness, but he’s a good dog. He makes life better and I’m much less lonely with him around, as I’ve always got a buddy to do something with. He’s currently curled up on the couch sleeping and he’s so cute. He comes with me almost everywhere and he’s the best co-pilot a person could have.
As much as I am doing well here, I’m starting to feel restless. This place is a home, but it does not feel like home. I know it is coming time to move on, hopefully to find a place that I would like to stay for a while. Maybe actually buy a house. We’ll see what that next step holds. For now, I’m still in this chapter, and while it started off rocky, it’s turned into a great one, and like my TWLOHA FSU days, this too is a chapter that I will cherish. When I moved here, a new friend told me this is a place of healing, and they were right. It’s amazing what mountain air and small town community can do for your soul. I’d recommend it to anyone who feels broken. If you are a friend and need a break, I’ve got a guest room. You are welcome to visit. I’ll show you around. Just hope that it doesn’t rain, because everything that makes this town amazing is outdoors.
Elisabeth! Good detective work. It was, in fact, me. I was reminiscing and came across this post. You’re right, I didn’t recognize your username, so I clicked.
I am so pleased to read your update. I am so awful at keeping in touch. But you, and everyone, from TWLOHA-FSU have made such a beautiful impact on my life. You all have a special place in my heart. I’m so happy to read that you are doing well now, despite the times that you felt broken. It’s great that you’ve found healing and community. I have yet to find another community anything near as wonderful as our family was. But I’m hoping that I’ll find it again one day.
I would love to visit you, your pets, and your great small town sometime.
Sending you lots of love.
Come any time you'd like. Give me enough notice and I'll be sure to take at least the afternoon off. I'd recommend late October to see the leaves fall. If you're looking for snow, February is probably when you want to come. Any other time is nice too, because mountain views are spectacular any time of the year. Just give me a heads up! :-D sending love right back.
