ur local cryptid dm

a mostly dnd blog with a hint of multifandoms

[awkwardosthe3rd]

Werewolf

[prokopetz]

A thing that bothers me about wizard schools in popular media – outside of the magic-grade-school stuff, anyway – is that they're typically depicted as being basically magic universities, but their actual curricula and pedagogical approaches look much more like those of a technical institution. Like, buddy, that's not a wizard university, that's a wizard trade school. You can't just slap university student culture on top of trade school pedagogy. It doesn't work like that – the one emerges from the other!

[prokopetz]

"Well ACTUALLY wizards are" wizards are made up. They can be analogous to whatever real-world class or vocation the author wants. Wizard-school-as-university and wizard-school-as-technical-institute are both perfectly fine; what I am grumping about is wizard-school media that doesn't seem to have a clear picture of how different sorts of educational institutions actually operate.

[da-boy-o-kultur]

Okay but now I really want to know what a Wizard technician would look like. Would he wear magical overalls with all kinds of reagents and magic tools sticking out of his numerous pockets?

A guy like that walks into your tower with a toothpick in his mouth, takes one look at your summoning circle and goes

“I see yer problem. You used chalk B12 instead of S3. B12 is only for transmutation circles. Gimme a sec I think I have a piece somewhere here.”

He fixes your circle, test summons an imp and goes.

“There ya go. Fit as a fiddle.”

[ruckuscauser]

“It’s the chalk.”

“The chalk? I always use that chalk, it’s never been a problem.”

“Ah - yes. This stuff will work just fine for most circles, but, uh - here, take a look with my loupe. You see the off-color flecks? Can’t hardly see them with the naked eye, but those are impurities. Silicates, might even be some iron in here, to be honest. Usually won’t cause a problem, but - you said you hadn’t tried this particular summons before?”

“First time trying a 5th level, yeah.”

“Those silicates will make your scribing a little fuzzy when viewed from the astral plane. You see, for example, these three fine lines here? With this chalk, on the astral that looks like one thick line with fuzzy edges. They can’t tell exactly what you want, and they’re picky lil’ critters so they just won’t do anything in response.”

“Really? Oh. I always thought the expensive chalk was just fancy to be fancy.”

“Making pure chalk is difficult, you need a dedicated production line or dust gets in the finished product. To be honest, you don’t need to bother with it for most things, but 5th and up, 5th level and up, it actually is necessary. Anything with lines within about two millimeters of each other.”

“So I need to start over?”

“Unfortunately yes. You’ll have to erase all this, but with some good chalk it should work just fine. Next new moon your summons should go off without a hitch.”

“Dang. At least it’s not my sigils, I was worried it was my sigils.”

“Nah Your sigils look good. Even and balanced. You know what you’re doing, it’s just an equipment problem.”

“Thanks for the help, sorry to make you come all the way out here.”

“No problem! It’s my job.”

[sashayed]

#scene from moonstruck with vincent gardenia explaining the different types of pipes but it’s metallurgy ores #there’s the kind of ore you have— which is garbage. then there’s steel which is pretty good. unless something goes wrong. #and something always goes wrong. #and then— there’s copper. which is the only kind of ore i use. #it costs money. it costs money because it saves money. (@macklesufficient)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

oh my god they're installation wizards

[cryptidussy]

Creating my little wild west inspired dnd sessions are SO. MUCH. FUN.

It gives me so much drive and yesterday I wrote like a whole session in 5 minutes, I LOVE IT!!! Adding interactive elements like playing poker and my players gambling in general is probably the most fun part. They always get SO excited when I pull out the playing cards and poker chips. I also put so much effort into it every time like creating a catalogue for the shops and little core tokens as well as homebrewing a bunch of stuff cause I like doing that and figuring out the balances. The whole "how the fuck am i gonna progress the story, these guys are menaces" and thinking of a thousand different ways to progress but to also do it in a natural way.

And idk it makes me sooo happy and giddy to be able to be a little god in their little cowboy universe!

[horizoneffect]

(dnd setting idea I had and couldn't not write an overview for)

"The afterworld is a big place. Well, the word "afterworld" is a misnomer. It's called the Beyond, and it's less one world, more a patchwork of worlds. Gods, powerful fey and fiends, unknowable eldritch beings, and all sorts of extraordinarily powerful entities have stitched together the vacuous reaches of the Beyond with demiplanes of their own making, populated by the souls of mortals who have passed on.

"It's a popular myth among the mortal sort that travel to the Beyond is instant, almost automatic, free from frustration, nuisance or pain. That couldn't be less true. When a mortal dies and its soul becomes untethered from its body, sure, sometimes it will automatically be whisked away to its proper afterlife. Some gods reward their true believers with chartered air-carriages to their private villas in the clouds. People who have made pacts with devils get pressed onto the black prison-ships of the lower planes and are made to swab the deck. But loose souls, souls who are unclaimed by any of the powers that be, get sent…

"to me. Me and my train, the Twilight Express. Any soul, any race, any final resting place. Anyone with a ticket, me and my crew'll take you to where you need to go. But not for free.

"When you mortals finally give up the ghost, death is but an instant, and then you'll find yourself in Nowhere, the City of Horizons. Loud and noisy, filled with the clamor of countless shopkeepers searching for souls to sell to. What are they selling, you ask? Tickets -- tickets to the afterlife. Their own precious little part of the afterlife, that is.

"Some of them will give you a ticket for free. I say don't listen to them -- it's a scam, unless you were really someone in life, and then everyone will be after your soul. Some will offer you a ticket to their afterlife if you promise to serve their god, or entertain their legions of souls, or work in their manor's kitchen, or accomplish some heroic task in one of the countless planes. You need a ticket to ride the train, though, and the merchants in Nowhere know. Picture the gleeful servant of some pit fiend, offering you passage to the Lava Pits of Czsnerzbeogh, if only you'll work for their master for twenty thousand years of eternity… But if they're offering a ticket, take it. Believe me. You don't want to be stuck in Nowhere without a ticket. The most hellish tortures are preferable to the unconscionable horrors the City of Horizons can unveil, horrors that make even me shudder… And you really don't want to be stuck in Nowhere after the train leaves… and it gets dark.

"Once you're on the train, though, watch your back. Regardless of destination, every soul gets the same ride. Scary as some of the particularly damned souls may be, don't panic: it's a really bad idea to cross our security. They're the finest forces in the infinity of the planes, making sure every soul only gets off where their ticket says they can, and keeping out the freeloaders and the riffraff. Out the window you'll be awed by the full grandeur of the Beyond: the breathtaking spires of the Green Palm Palaces, the bleak austerity of the Xulo Nara Lava Oceans, the quixotic unreality of the Thousand Lotus Fields… And between the afterworlds, the expanses of the Great Grey West, where lone fey rangers camp by lone fires, where packs of crest-wolves and fractal-horn deer stampede across the landscape… It'll make you feel alive again. So to speak.

"As soon as you make it to your stop on the Twilight Express, you'll get off, and then you get to enjoy your afterlife, whatever that may be. You might even be allowed to travel around the Beyond and explore other afterlives, or you can stay put and be content with a nice, quiet undeath. But things are always changing in the Beyond. We're always laying down new railways, paving into the west… There are those who wish to escape their assigned afterlife and wreak havoc across the planes… And there are those who wish to conquer the Beyond and the world of the mortal planes, along with those who wish to keep the Beyond ever wild…

"Don't be a stranger, mortal. Be courageous, be cautious, and always watch your back.

Talk to you soon.

- Death The Renowned Sir R. "Death" Nevermore Proprietor and Conductor of the Twilight Express

[totallynotzack1010101]

enough medieval fantasy

im tired of seeing the medieval fantasy. wheres the wild west fantasy? i want to see bandits riding dragons flying over a train, i wanna see a bar full of colorful and interesting species, i wanna see something cool gosh darn it

[2minutetabletop]

Gallows’ Rot, Part 1: The Next Noon Saloon – Wild West Location

A wild west town has been rocked by a series of murders! Town leaders gather at the Next Noon Saloon to figure it out…

→ Read it on 2-Minute Tabletop

[brewerssupplies]

Hello! I added a new subclass for Hexslinger and 11 new hexcrafts! I believe that there are now around 29 hexcrafts for the class in total! There is now a hexcraft for empowering your bullets for each of the different damage types outside of bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage.

[PDF]

[2minutetabletop]

The Wild West Train Station Battle Map

Start a new campaign on the wild frontier with our brand new battle map: the Wild West Train Station. We’ve got trains and wagons too! 🚂

→ Find it on 2-Minute Tabletop

[nationsandcannons]

When used correctly, the brass-receiver rifles had an exceptionally high rate of fire compared to any other weapon on the battlefield. Soldiers who saved their pay to buy one believed it would help save their lives. Since tactics had not been developed to take advantage of their firepower, Henrys were frequently used by scouts, skirmishers, flank guards, and raiding parties rather than in regular infantry formations. Confederate Colonel John Mosby, who became infamous for his sudden raids against advanced Union positions, when first encountering the Henry in battle called it “that damned Yankee rifle that can be loaded on Sunday and fired all week.”

Source: Wikipedia

Historically, most lever-action rifles had a large tube magazine where ammunition was housed. Because the caliber of a repeater was significantly smaller than a single-shot flintlock firearms (or even revolvers), the damage of a repeater is less than those weapons.

With plentiful ammunition from the Fixed Capacity trait and only 5 feet of  movement to advance the firing mechanism, repeaters are designed for Fighters, Rangers, and other classes with the Extra Attack feature. These weapons have comparably low Misfire scores to be more reliable for multiple attacks, and characters using repeaters in a Nations & Cannons game can use feats and items such as the cheap Bullet Starter wargear to further reduce the Misfire score of rifles.

[brewerssupplies]

Hello! May I present: the Hexslinger! A half-caster who slings spells and magic as well as they sling guns, they are able to imbue their firearms and ammunition with their magic. They also know special magical rites known as hexcrafts which vary in type and usage. Some hexcrafts allow them to create potions, to curse their foes, to enchant their firearms, or to even summon a spectral train engine to run down your foes! Hope you enjoy my take on a gunslinger-type class!

[PDF]

[colinarcartperson]

A commission I had the pleasure of doing for the lovely @hail-hellmo

I’m always happy to draw a horse!

[2minutetabletop]

The Wild West Saloon Battle Map

We’ve just published a new Wild West Saloon battle map, complete with two storeys and a roof!

→ Download the whole thing on 2-Minute Tabletop

[house-foxglove]

Weird West Ideas

I got high last night and listened to Ennio Morricone so here’s a cowboy fantasy Vomit. Extra thanks to @v0idgoth for contributing as well: - Swamp Vine monkey

- Devils and demons that are business-like? One is a clown. 

- Rodeo clown, they pop balloons and there’s actual gunshots. Roguish. The barrels are portal hopping, they pop all over the place. “They cannot be hit” reputation. Made out of jello.

-Cowboy god of the roulette and luck. Marksmanship mastery at random. Will watch duels and intercede. One time in your life you get the perfect shot. BUT YOU DON”T KNOW WHEN.

- Hand of god judgement. Some people have been murdered by gunshot and revealed later to have been “sinners” and equate it to a gun god exacting judgement. But really it’s someone in the tallest mountain that cannot even be seen, just shooting them all from a distance and bis bird is flying down and revealing the evidence. 

- God so many talking horses as a race of horses. 

“Oh are you talking about the derbys? The native horse race.” 

“Oh the indigenous folk race horses?” 

“What? No it’s a kind of horse that talks it a race of horses.

-Cowboy music whistling is an actual bird. It’s like a roadrunner and a cassowary and are kind of like sirens or can sense dramatic plot developments. 

-Achibahi the native god of hogtying and kinky shit. Or Saint.

-Wizard are on the same level as Sheriff but for the supernatural. There are some wizards who have an avatar type role with the local magic life. Like Smokey the bear.

- Little green men aliens

- Time cursed area is just a valley filled with every duel that ever happened in the area on repeat.

- Junji ito flying zombie of someone who was wrongfully hanged. 

- Patron Saint of fences

-Wizards are considered similar to Saint, who are a common type of divinity to people who died relatable and famous way.

-Patron Saint of Trains

-Trains are mecha snakes with feelings

-An ever present cow skull spirit that is an arbitrator and witness to all things hidden in the sun.

-TIGER LUCHADOR

-High fantasy elven races that just refuse to give up the ghost. They don’t even play cards. 

-Time travelling wizard cowboy getting a wrangle on their herd of space time cattle that they need for the Time Travel Milk.

-Saint of lost children. Kids who wandered too far away and a foul fate befell them.

-Patron saint of pens

-Fun tornado shit with trees.

-Coffin man coughing man grim creeper figure. 

-Haints/Boogers/the Boogermen. Doppelganger nightmare mosquitos that turn into nightmares. 

-Im fucking hilarious.

That is all.

[cy-lindric]

Two pages and a message

[madeline-kahn]

Is there a way to play dungeons and dragons with like a Downton Abbey twist so that my friends will have fun

[madeline-kahn]

Still working on the story part of it but I've decided to call it Downtons and Abbeys even though that doesn't make any sense. And being the Dungeon Master doesn't really sense either so I'll be Laura Linney

[probablyrpgmechanicsideas]

i for one am desperate to know how this turns out

[sockablock]

yes, I’m a DM, yes, I love writing, no, I don’t know how distance works. Is that building 100 feet away or 40 feet away? Should you be able to see something ten minutes down the road? Is 1,000 feet long? Is 30?? Is 6??? Could you walk across the continent in 2 weeks or 2 years? I hate this. I hate travel. I hate measurement. Fuck you.

[rudafru]

A hidden-message ring, from the 1830s.