young child @sometimes-poems - Tumblr Blog

the human stress response seems so maladaptive!

To be fair 99% of our evolutionary stress response was meant to deal with far more immediately conclusive scenarios than the tedious bullshit we put up with these days.

argumate

very very slow tigers are chasing me

yellbug

not to leave a serious comment on a silly post but one of the best pieces of advice I ever got about stress was to SLEEP but secondly, when overwhelmed, lay in a bed and intentionally hold all your muscles clenched. clench EVERYTHING. hold it for a few seconds, then let go. It tricks your animal fight-or-flight monkey brain into thinking it had, and won, a fight, and some of the stress response will leave you

creekfiend

#turn a slow tiger into a fast tiger with this fucked up trick

cipheramnesia

enrichment speedrun

gayspock-deactivated20250217

lovelysuggestion

each time I tell you those three words I mean them more and more

strangefriendperson-deactivated

we dem boys

edited-boomer-memes

in other news trump is sending out a survey… yall know what to do

marxistlynchist

easy,

iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid

the way some of these are worded i’m losing my whole mind

HIS FEARLESS RESOLVE

officialdracula-deactivated2021

I’ve filled it out 16 times get to it y’all

officialdracula-deactivated2021

@so-what-if-im-crazy

mikeys-archive-blog

LMFAO THE WHAT!!!???

7thedisasterdyke

you guys know what to do

c-h-pictures

Question.

I am English. What would happen if I filled this out?

vergeofinsanity

youd be even more badass bruv

the-real-slim-shady

thatbeluga

he’s not even trying to cover up his own propaganda wtf how is this man real

tikkunolamorgtfo

OMG so if you fill out the survey, you get a message that says “The Left-Wing MOB will do whatever it takes to bring President Trump down, which is why we need to make sure he has the resources to FIGHT BACK,” which then asks you for money. And if you try to leave the page, you get THIS:

I’m fucking CRINGING who even are these people

unexpectedyarns

As ridiculous as it may seem, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO GO FILL THIS OUT.

People who Looooove tr*mp will go fill this out in droves, and people who would like to see him lit on fire by his combover won’t, thereby skewing the results.

GO FILL IT OUT.

DON’T USE YOUR ACTUAL NAME OR EMAIL ADDRESS.

If you’re not from the US, just use any 5-digit number for the zip code (even including beginning with 0)

Fill it out twice. Six times. Get your mom to do it.

tysonfurybattlepass

never thought i’d see the day when tumblr commits a 4chan raid but on god i’m here for it

artisticallygay

spoonsman0-0

DO IT PLEASE

stickynutjuice

trying to forget about her..

cundtcake

translation: “My sheep! [bah! bah!] You are my life. [bah! bah!] Walk behind me…[bah! bah!] Sing (after me).”

savedgame

corona Chan that’s so funny where do you come up with this stuff bro? So it’s like the corona virus but it’s a cute anime girl wtf bro you’re crazy...funniest shit I’ve ever heard

ratchetmessreturns

ur mcm wakes up , it is 3 o clock pm. he rolls over on his twin sized mattress which is on the floor n grabs his weed pipe he got at the indian store. he proceeds to try n hit a bowl w absolutely nothing innit except hopes n dreams. after inhaling some hot air he proceeds to cough for exactly 16 seconds straight. finally collecting himself he sits up and winces in pain as the dried semen from last nights onlyfans session cracks and pulls the small hairs on his tummy. he grabs his samsung milky way x2 from 2013 off his cigarette ash stained nightstand n opens fb. "quarantine or not the grind dont stop , ima chase a bag till they put me in the dirt omm 💯💯" he posts , completely satisfied w his first fb flex of the day. he goes n peeks in his moms room , thrilled that she is in fact still at work. he walks over to her dresser and rummages thru it collecting $10 in loose change , an ativan , and 3 pall mall ultra light menthol 100's. he lights one immediately. "todays gonna be a good day" he thinks to himself. it was in fact not a good day. he walked a mile away to the nearest convenient store to meet up w his weed man and while sitting outside on the curb a homeless man came up and asked him for a cigarette. he was feeling generous due to his earlier collection of the $10 in change so he reached in his pocket and pulled out the cigarette case which contained the aforementioned pall malls and the $10 bill he had exchanged his change for. upon seeing the $10 bill tucked into the plastic on the cigarette box the homeless man proceeded to snatch the entire pack out of ur mcm's hands and take off in a full , u-could-never-ever-catch-him crackhead sprint. ur mcm started to chase him but after seeing the absolute fukn acceleration that man had produced he stopped in his tracks , defeated. moments later the weed man pulled up only to see ur mcm holding back tears. ur mcm walked up to his driver side window w tears in his eyes and proceeded to tell him what had just happened in hopes he might get a sympathy gram. he did not. the weed man laughed in his face , slapped him for wasting his time , then called him a bitch and told him not to ever contact him again. an attractive young woman , having seen these events transpire from inside the store , walked out and laughed in ur mcm's face while walking to her nissan altima. ur mcm walked back home w his head down and once within range of his home wifi he opens fb again. "real bosses take a L and bounce back 🚫🎩 #BusinessMind #Entrepeneur" he types. he takes a deep breath and clicks post before putting his phone back into his pocket. the microwave dings as he takes his offbrand ham n cheese hot pocket out. it is still frozen in the middle.