Momther Funker

18+ - She/They - ADHD, GAD, ASD - 🇨🇦 - be warned I don't tag shit - CW for unreality and jokes about sex - DNI if youre a shitty person (racism, TERF, homophobic, etc..)

[somthingstupid247]

I'm back but I'm limiting myself to 4 hours a day so I'll be on here a lot less

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know a lot of men make excuses about why they can’t be helpful but when my grandma is sick we physically can’t stop my severely disabled grandpa from trying to help her anyways. Bringing her favorite blankets to her even when she hasn’t asked for them and whatnot.

[what-even-is-thiss]

It’s very uncomfortable for him to lie down in a bed these days and he prefers to sleep on chairs but when she’s not feeling well he insists on lying down next to her in bed so he can make sure she’s doing okay.

So anyways people ask me why I don’t have a fully negative view of masculinity and I think this might answer your question.

[perception-filter]

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[heartnosekid]

neope goschkevitschii caterpillars ฅ^>⩊<^ฅ | piyo_bug on ig

[fairycosmos]

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

[angelshake]

[ororomunroedontpullout]

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

[notarobot1006]

[jetlaggingbehind]

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

[thirstkanaphan]

[bard-like]

[what-even-is-thiss]

This post is ancient and stupid but I still laugh whenever I see it

[scoes]

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

[scoes]

That and the monkey barrrsssss

[draconym]

I saw the most incredible dog at the farmer's market.

Please everyone guess what this dog's pedigree is. (My guess was incorrect)

[draconym]

This was my guess as well. It is something else.

[draconym]

Congratulations to you!

This is a Dachshund / Samoyed

[draconym]

Yes it was an accidental litter

[bumblebeebats]

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

[spectralhauntings]

I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3

Explore Pet Poison Helpline®s vast knowledge on poisons by reviewing our pet poison list. Explore our top 10 poison and holiday poison lists

[littlemousling]

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

[soup-mother]

Hi I'm American movie director, here's my idea for a live action movie based on a widely beloved series: Ok so a team of US soldiers are transported to another world.

[soup-mother]

Bold new direction for the zelda CDI series

[soup-mother]

I was gonna make a joke about sonic, then remembered the sonic movies, then I was gonna make a joke about pacman, and remembered pixels. So really the point here is that the United States is Satan.