Still Trying To Find Myself

I have a thing for unavailable men.

[sophiaalessandra]

He’s moved back and we’ve been talking everyday. It’s inevitable we are going to fuck, but why am I hesitant. In the past couple years I’ve focused on my self and I’ve gotten the body Ive always wanted. I know he will like what he sees but will I? Are my expectations too high? What if I am disappointed and why do I care so much. It won’t be the first time I’ve been disappointed by a man.

I mean he’s exactly what I like. Married.

I feel zero remorse. I don’t want to make any excuses. Yeah it’s wrong but the thing is it doesn’t bother me. I am not the one married. I love the thought that I can be with him and I am able to leave and not have him ask where I am, what am I doing.

I get a kick of having a married man lust over me. My favorite line is

“I’m yours you can do whatever you want with me.”

In reality he has no power over me. It isn’t my first rodeo.

I like to grabbed their face and tell them to look at me while we are fucking. It drives them crazy.

[sophiaalessandra]

Married Men, Why Not?

Even though I am consumed by my infatuation it doesn’t stop me from doing things I’m not suppose to do. I have a thing for unavailable men in other words married men. Why? I don’t know, as simple as that.

The current married man that I am talking to is my high school ex boyfriend. Almost nineteen years and we still have some sort of attachment. Through those nineteen years we’ve never lost touch, yes months could pass by but we always end up speaking again. For the past two years we’ve in constant contact mostly reminisce about the past. I think for him is an escape from his marriage or he is simply bored. I do not expect him to leave his wife nor do I want him. We are friends on social media and I see his wife’s post whenever he is tagged. This is his second marriage and from what he’s told me I was the main reason of his first marriage arguments. I did see him a couple times during his first marriage and at that time I was in a long term relationship. When we saw each other it was like we were in high school all over again. I could tell by his ragged breathing that i still meant something to him. What do i feel for him? I don’t really know but I lead him to believe that still have strong feelings for him. I’m sure there is some sort of psychiatric condition for this.

Since he is in the military we no longer live in the same city, so we haven’t seen each other in years but Snapchat has kept us close. I know for a fact he wont ever be able to stop talking to me. He might come to the decision that he wants to be a “good” husband but he will always think of me. He’s said in the past that our “situation” is special, maybe because I took his virginity.

[sophiaalessandra]

When does infatuation turn into obsession?

[genterie]

[euphoriafeeling]

Euphoria

[z-ndjenja]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

Someone just said to me you remind me of a kaleidoscope when you look into it and see all the sparkly colors 😩😩😩 I almost cried lmao so sweet

[lovi-xo]

ill never ever be okay ever again.

[illyadarling]

[ink-and-oceans]

“You insist that you’re too messed up to love, so that you have an excuse to push people away and blame it on yourself because it’s too painful to admit that it could have been.”

— tara love / that we could have been (via ink-and-oceans)

[thenighht]

Estoy deseando ese tipo de sexo lento, apasionado, sensual, crudo pero rudo. Donde la habitación está oscura aunque tenuemente iluminada y ambos todavía con la mitad de la topa puesta porque nos necesitábamos rápidamente. Justo así, gimiendo y besándonos, saben?

[sophiaalessandra]

Que rico 🤭

[infinnitte]

[escritos-perdidos]

Puede ser tarde justo ahora, sé que tienes días ocupados, pero por favor, ¿podrías quedarte conmigo un poco más, acompañarme hasta que dejen de salir las lágrimas? Te extraño y ahora que tengo la oportunidad de tenerte a mi lado esta noche, me da miedo no volverte a ver al despertar. Por eso, déjame acurrucarme en tu pecho mientras aspiro tu perfume por última vez y siento tus manos recorrer mi espalda y cabeza.

~JustB.

[sxtur-nea]

supieras las ganas que te tengo

en el sentido más perverso de la palabra.

[busonhikayemiz]

[smallxtattoos]

It describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing may never return. A stronger form of saudade may be felt towards people and things whose whereabouts are unknown, such as a lost lover, or a family member who has gone missing.

[sexislife-sexislove]

[ungleichgewichtig]

cold nights ft. you