whos this douchebag

dick sordson • twenty-six • dorito enthusiast post adolescent ramblings of some infamous hot shot with a blog and a webcomic

[xenophilias-blog]

What is it about GameStop patrons that makes them violently shower averse?

[sordson]

they cant afford their water bill because they spend all their cash on the newest trending games like the gross casual dudes they are

[sordson]

theres an unfathomable amount of porn blogs following me now and honestly??? its about time

[sordson]

temporalmaid:

the correct answer was me! miss aradia megido :D

whoa whoa whoa (shout out to my boy watsk) hold up one sec miss megido ...... did i not answer me i call a fact check on the previous fact check re-facted me 

[sordson]

temporalmaid:

checking in with the analysts … …. ….. …… oof im sorry contestant but facts have been checked and the fact remains you were incorrect :P

no shit ...

well, ill be all good sporntsmenship on this or whatever and accept the loss as a loss but toss a dude a bone here tell me what was the correct answer 

[sordson]

im gonna blow five months worth of savings on a huge whim and get another tattoo

[mangacartaholygrail]

*refuses to look at texts* I love conversation and communication

[sordson]

like the obedient drone of social media pressuring that i am and to not continue being that greasy old guy who sits online and talks into the void to himself that im known for (lets be real no one is expecting this to change) i stepped out and followed a bunch of “recommended for me” blogs pretending that this blue bastardy website knows anything about me 

so heres a call out post 

if you dont follow me i really dont blame you

[dullcuts-blog]

every day is 4/20 if you try hard enough

[sordson]

i have no idea what me and gules were talking about but believe me when i say im truly Devastated

[sordson]

OKAY

listen up here buddy we were in the middle of some conversation that i know i dipped out of for give or take nine months but you cant just up and walk the fuck out in the middle of it i smacked a cute little kitty bookmark that the neighbors little girl gave me for some weird reason right down in that conversation to come back to it not this

[sordson]

who just leaves dog shit on the stairs too

cmon assumingly were all adults in this complex if your lil dude decided to drop a lil dude we can have the common courtesy to pick it up were not in the stone ages we shouldnt be weaving left and right to avoid a hot steamy load 

[sordson]

you would think at my age i would have more interesting shit to talk about that like blossoming into this handsome young adult (ha) that i am would have given me all these sick ass things to ramble on about that could hold everyones interest with that edge of the seat kinda power

but like 

nah

[ass-wolf-deactivated20171001]

[sordson]

so there i was. high as fucking balls in the drive thru line at steak n shake not knowing how to maneuver my hands in order to grab my milk shake without dropping the straws that were conveniently on the other side of my sweet treat because the dude behind the window cant seem to grasp the fact that you gotta hand some things to some guys through the window in a way that we can actually grab onto it without some weird hand holding that neither of us want

[cheaphalloweencostume]

local man sees really cool sword in pawn shop window

“holy shit” he has said

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

shout out to all the black and white cats named oreo, all the orange tabbies named tiger, all the grey cats named smokey, all the black cats named shadow, and all the calico cats named patches

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

how could i forget the white cats named snowball, shout out to all the white cats named snowball

[peteneems]