Pro Overanalyzing ™

I do not control the speed or topics of the posts I make; I am literally just vibin feel free to send asks

[sleepy-moron]

Figured I should probably make some sort of introduction post on here since I've been regularly making original content for like a month now:

- You can call me Merlin or literally any variation of my blog name

- I'm currently a college student and I study media, so I do occasionally bring smart people energy to the discussion.... until I inevitably misspell something or am compelled to make a stupid joke

- I am bi and ready to try™ and use they/them pronouns

- I spend way too much of my time bothering the people I live with about the narrative implications of things or about why two characters are brilliant foils, so rest assured I'm not being pretentious for the sake of it, I type using similar language to how I speak

- I am here to yell about the current hyperfixations and vibe exclusively

Actual tag list for navigation purposes:

Mike needs therapy: posting about Mike’s mental health and why it’s practically nonexistent

Merlin yells about kingdom hearts: kh posts

[cryingdancer]

[fractally]

Sorry cannot at all get on board with the idea that Ilya has no internalized homophobia. In either canon. Nope. It's just less obvious and also less oblivious than Shane's.

Book!Ilya explicitly calls his relationship with Shane fucked up and is disgusted with himself for continuing it. He very much associates seeking out gay sex with self destructive, risky behavior. He thinks of Shane as literally demonic during their Vegas hook up (he wonders if Shane has been sent as a test from god that he's failing). He mentally models his attraction to men vs women as a math problem ("30% gay"). He says in therapy he feels being bisexual makes him more evolved than other people---which like, I get this sentiment is going to make tumblr users go "yaas queen", but the way it's posed is as a very psychologically defensive thought, not a pride thing.

Show!Ilya has this whole thing going with Svetlana and has to essentially be given permission to admit that he's in love with Shane. He also explicitly associates gay sex with risk taking. It's less clear what's going on in his head, but I don't think he's got a totally healthy relationship with his queerness. I think that would be quite extraordinary.

[sleepy-moron]

Ilya is so affected by internalized homophobia that he literally incorporates it into his public persona as a hockey “bad guy”. Pro wrestling has “characters” that are meant to be hated by the audience calls heels and a very common heel gimmick is being very camp or partaking in gay bravado. Gay bravado is when guys act or engage in what people view as “gay” behavior as a way to assert their masculinity and security in their heterosexuality to mock and belittle others. This is quite literally a big part of Ilya’s M.O. when it comes to chirping. Shane thinks the “pretty boy” comments from Ilya are him being an ass and while we know heated rivalry is a queer romance and there’s likely some truth behind what Ilya is saying; in universe it 100% comes off as Ilya questioning Shane’s masculinity. Ilya can engage in all of the vaguely queer behavior he wants to because his reputation means it all comes off as mocking others for not being confident in their straightness. Is it possible he does this because he knows it will keep people from looking too deeply at his sexuality? Yeah but it also shows he is willing to publicly mock others for “perceived” gayness to keep himself safe; regardless of why he thinks he’s doing it it does show that at least on some level he’s internalized a lot of societal homophobia. There’s a reason the other queer players don’t clock Ilya, because he acts like the kind of guy who views queerness as either something emasculating or as the punchline to a joke.

[taldigi]

also throughout all my bitching and moaning I do like to see chibi versions of the persona sitting on shoulders and calling their other selves names. I think this is fitting.

[probablybadrpgideas]

Turn Undead's verbal component is "Shitty Bullshit Skeletons", a very mean cover of the classic Halloween song

[y0ud0ntkn0wwh0]

Shitty, bullshit skeletons  Are shitters, scum, and slime  Stupid skulls to mock and bully  Fuck them up tonight

Shitty, bullshit skeletons  That shriek like such a bitch  They’ll shake and shudder in surprise  When you turn this fucking lich

I’m not sorry, skeletons, your jokes are not so good You want to fucking socialize? (Go drown in fucking mud.)

'Cause shitty, bullshit skeletons  Shout stupid fucking things  They’ll say plural “sarcophagus” Is “sarcophagoging”

Spirits supernatural are dumb, and that’s a plus But osteo-reanimae are all also a wuss

Stupid, bullshit skeletons Aren’t mean; they’re fucking dicks They’ll grab you by your hyoid bone  And throw you in the Styx

Sticks and stones may break their bones  But we shall break their pride Cause stupid, bullshit skeletons  Will run and fucking hide!

[fractally]

bottom!Ilya fic where a video of Shane bottoming is shot through a hotel window and leaked and he's getting all sorts of homophobic hate about it and about specifically being the bottom. and Scott Hunter is out here on the Gay Hockey Zoom meeting being like. we must fix this situation we must educate the masses about being vers. Troy is nodding along (Shane is dissociating. he's turned his camera off and he's on mute)

Ilya is like Shane I've got it. we go back to the hotel and I bottom and we leak that video and then people will understand we're equal opportunity. and Shane's like Ilya you shouldn't be having sex you don't want to have it's fine I'm not ashamed of being on the bottom. it'll blow over

and Ilya's grabbing Shane by the shoulders like "Shane you MUST fuck me and film it and leak it. for gay rights"

[sleepy-moron]

Really interesting thing about Ilya to me is that he is just as trapped by the heteronormativity of hockey as Shane is but in a completely different way. Shane is so immersed in the idea that he has to like girls even if he likes boys that it takes him so long to even consider the idea he’s gay and that’s because in his brain these two things cannot coexist. Ilya uses heteronormativity as a shield; he’s publicly known as a womanizer and a shit stirrer so he can do things like make suggestive comments and go to gay bars without anyone thinking twice about his behavior. It’s not that he’s necessarily good at hiding his sexuality it’s just that people are always going to assume he’s playing a weird game of gay chicken at all times to be an asshole and not look any deeper.

This is fascinating because it means the worry that if people know Ilya is bi they’ll figure out Hollanov is a thing is legitimately a problem. Scott comes out as gay and several people immediately jump to the conclusion that his dynamic with Ilya is different and that they might be involved; even if it’s at least kind of a joke people definitely pick up on something with the vibes there and that’s not even people knowing for a fact that Ilya is queer. He’s simultaneously so well hidden that outside of publicly being in a relationship with another guy I don’t think people would come to the conclusion he isn’t straight; but the second you know he isn’t straight he becomes incredibly transparent and it’s fascinating to me.

[oleander-teacup]

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

Yeah okay, I'll rebark that!

[magicratfingers]

[dayquil-driver]

Visit Original Link

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[probablybadrpgideas]

I've been going through the later Monster Manuals, which of the following is NOT an actual monster from a 3rd edition Monster Manual?

Ghost of a clown who follows you around calling you mean names

Monster who gives you depression. It only knows the spell "inflict depression". This doesn't benefit it in any way. It's just an asshole.

Outsider who comes to our dimension to punch ugly people to death

BRAIN MOLE, THE MOLE IN YOUR BRAIN!

Construct made of pure elemental sadness

Thing that drinks your bones. Not eats them, drinks them. Slurp Slurp.

Graveyard someone buried a vampire in and now the whole fucking graveyard is just one big vampire. Someone's getting fired for this.

Naptime fairies who jump you and forcibly tuck you in to bed because you look all tuckered out.

Monster that can only eat the undead so it goes around killing people, reanimating them as zombies and then eating them

Summoning circle someone fucked up making hard enough it's now alive and wondering around summoning random shit.

Make your guesses! Answers after the break!

In order!

Taunting Haunt (MM5)

Joystealer (MM4)

Visilight (MM3)

This is the fake! The BRAIN MOLE is actually in the Expanded Psionics Handbook.

Gloom Golem (MM3)

Bonedrinker (MM3)

Corpse Gatherer (MM2)

Petal (MM3)

Rot Reaver (MM3)

Summoning Ooze (MM3)

[chongoblog]

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

[chongoblog]

[chongoblog]

HAPPY BIG TWENTY NEIL

[sleepy-moron]

Rip to the poor guy who was just putting away stuff in my departments backroom at work that forgot I was in the room; I heard a thump and swearing because and was like “you good dude?” And accidentally scared the hell out of him.

The amount of times I’ve accidentally scared one of my coworkers because they didn’t hear me walking around and then I was just there is kind of silly.

[sleepy-moron]

I don’t like zombie media in general but my biggest exception is resident evil Fanworks because if that fandom is committed to two things it’s being down bad for Leon Kennedy and feeling the need to put him through new non canon saw traps and I respect the hustle

[chongoblog]

Visit Original Link

I'm Jenny :)

[chongoblog]

SONGS USED

“Dreams of Our Generation” from Rhythm Heaven Fever

“Tank!” by The Seatbelts

“Deadlock” by Go! Child

“Everyone’s A Guru Now” by Saint Motel

“Shut Up and Dance” by Walk The Moon

“All Star” by Smash Mouth

“Jenny/867-5309” by Tommy Tu-Tone

[fractally]

HR fic idea: a CIA agent and CSIS (Canadian CIA) agent are assigned to investigate why Ilya Rozanov, Russian hockey player, is inexplicably signing with Ottawa after a successful career in Boston. He used to regularly send money back to Russia but has recently stopped.

The concern: perhaps he's reporting back to the FSB, perhaps he's outrunning something very illegal, perhaps he's running some kind of game fixing ring. Gotta just check it out!

Anyway these agents fully figure out Hollanov in like one week driving around Ontario and spend the afternoon in a Tim Horton's parking lot just kind of staring into space. Also they fall in love too and they're both women. Gays on gays.

[sleepy-moron]

Yesterday was my day off and I wanted to lie in bed and read fanfic and ao3 was down. I go on break today at work and ao3 shuts down again I just wanted to read heated rivalry fanfiction and vibe before another customer decided to tell me I dress badly to my face

[sleepy-moron]

The heated rivalry hyperfixation is fixating and I’m now trying to come up with a good 18+/nsfw tag for this account because I cannot really talk about hollanov at all without it at least involving adult content and I still probably won’t post half of my thoughts because I am usually extremely strict about not thirsting in places where I’ll be perceived but the brainrot is strong and my other option would be talking about this to people who know me in real life and that might be more mortifying…..