i’m glad you’re evil too

syscourse blog - medically recognized - 19 - endo safe - asks welcomed!

[sorority-system]

im conflicted on a lot of things. i caught up a whole year of syscourse and read The Sophie Doc + its updates and its. i dunno. i dunno what to think.

[sorority-system]

Its really interesting how the internet is an infinite snake eating itself. I decided to test out the new tumblr search features by looking at syscourse from 2017 (no syscourse pre 2016 tho) and its. Wow. We have not changed i think

[coolhumanoidbeing]

Shout out to people with Complex Dissociative Disorders (parents edition):

If your parents genuinely changed and improved overtime

If your parents were absent when you were a kid because they were sick / ill / working / otherwise indisposed

If your parents were not your abusers

If your parents would have acted differently if they knew you were being abused

If your parents didn't have the resources or knowledge to help / understand you

If your parents were loving and yet still neglectful

If your parents inadvertently invalidated / didn't believe you, but now do

If your parents weren't your primary caregivers when the abuse happend

If you weren't abused at all and your trauma was medical / environmental / etc

Had emotionally and physically present parents but you still had disorganized attachment with them as a kid because of your delusions / paranoia / etc.

If your parents regret how they treated you

If your parents loved and love you but acted the way they did because of substances / mental illness

If your parents are not completely bad people, or bad people at all

If you still get along with your parents regardless of what they did

If you ever invalidated your own traumatic childhood experiences because your parents were "too nice"

Your trauma is not less valid if you get along with your parents today. Sure, you needed disorganized attachment to your primary caregivers as a kid to develop a CDD. But that can take plenty of formes, and they don't all include your parents being monsters.

Edit: any other emotions regarding your parents are also valid and okay, and I couldn't mean that more. Childhood trauma survivors go through so many rough emotions, and self-invalidation is sadly way too common. Your feelings are a direct result of what happened and that makes them normal.

[korya-elana]

Your doctor isn't always right.

This'll be a long one. No tl;dr

I see a lot of rhetoric about "doctor shopping" and "your doctor is obviously right, quit trying to claim an illness that isn't yours" and other such nonsense. So I'm here to tell you why these guys suck and why they're wrong.

I'd like everyone to keep in mind that I am studying brain science, I readily admit that, due to my health issues, I could have died without my doctors. I am firmly pro-science and pro-medicine. However.

I was actually going to type up this post a few weeks back and then the universe smacked me with a relevant situation. For some context, I recently moved back to Ohio. I had lived in NY for the past few years due to traumatic circumstances and had not received any care for my disabilities at the time. Considering one of my issues is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (my joints and connective tissue are loosey-goosey and don't work right) and EDS causes me severe pain from constant rib dislocations/subluxations, I went to go get pain management from a specialist as soon as I was back.

This "specialist" (literally the head of the relevant department) told me there was no way that I had EDS despite my relevant testing and family history, started testing me for the WRONG illness (Marfan's, which you can tell by looking at me I do not have) and then, despite his admittance he doesn't know much about EDS, proclaimed I don't have it and it wasn't worth seeking any help. And he obviously did shit for my pain. He also said this about my proven autoimmunity.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. At the ripe old age of 30 and relatively good health despite my disabilities, I had a real stroke. Not only is this highly unusual for my age and health, it was a very, very specific type of stroke that is highly indicative of a much more dangerous type of EDS than my previous specialists had ever thought. And now I need extremely expensive and hard-to-get approved genetic testing. I have therapies several times a week and in a month I see a neurologist. Specifically, a stroke specialist where I will likely be the youngest person in the waiting room by at least 20 years.

This doctor could have killed me. He could have permanently crippled me beyond repair due to his advice. I legitimately thought I was dying. I have lost parts of my life and activities vital to my sense of self that I will never get back and I am very early on a very long road to recovery. Because my doctor was wrong. And I'll sure as shit be suing him.

So if you think your doctor is wrong, I want you to ignore every single asshole tumblerite telling you that your doctor knows best and knows better than you do. Seek that second opinion. Or your third! Or your fourth! I went through five doctors before I found one that actually knew what he was talking about and could help my dysautonomia symptoms for real. There is merit to talking about diagnosis hunting and being more sure than you should be. But doctors are not perfect. Malpractice kills people. Follow your gut feeling and find someone who knows how to talk about it. Shutting up and ignoring that feeling could get you hurt.

[sorority-system]

Hi. Sorority here. We're also victims of malpractice.

It's multi-layered, of course. All abuse is. Im not going to delve into my medical history because i find it irrelevant so i'll only talk about my psychiatric history.

Some of you may have been following me long enough to remember when i actively struggled with FND, a neurological disorder that causes non epileptic seizures. The sole reason for this was because i was too much anti psychotics. I was given a dose of 140mg (the max) when the normal adult dose is 80mg. This was all when i was a minor. I was not doing okay, especially when my frequent panic attacks manifested into physical symptoms.

Not to mention, the therapy. I was told outright that i wasn't sexually assaulted. I was told that the abuse i suffered from wasnt a crime. And i consistently had to argue my politics with my therapists. AND i was laughed at outright when i detailed the specifics of my abuse.

None of this is okay. And is largely why i am so psych critical right now. Being, plain and honest truth, i am a victim of malpractice.

[artemis-pendragon]

BE MAD BE SAD BUT DONT U DARE GIVE UP

[chocovevo]

[sorority-system]

Last night and today was hard. It *is* hard. But... take care of yourself. You'll still laugh, you'll still eat a good meal, you'll still love, and love again. No matter what, they can't take away our love.

[okiimii]

Kindness and inclusivity are the foundation of a supportive, understanding and good community. Kindness helps foster trust and open discussions, allowing all members, regardless of their system origin or experience level, to feel valued and respected. This is so important, given the unique challenges systems face, from dealing with the complexities of internal dynamics to handling external misunderstandings or prejudice.

Inclusivity, on the other hand, makes sure that everyone has a voice. The system community includes people with diverse experiences and backgrounds. Recognizing this diversity and embracing each type’s unique experiences helps create an environment where all members feel they can safely express themselves without judgment or exclusion.

Many people in the system community still face their trauma, and are still in these traumatizing situations. Even anti-endos. Kindness is not difficult.

[oopsallsyscourse]

I disagree.

Kindness is difficult. When you're dealing with unrelated and related trauma day in and day out, remembering to give others the benefit of the doubt is difficult. Trying to ignore those who are not kind is difficult.

But kindness is still important. A nuanced opinion requires different perspectives, something you will never achieve by only listening to those who agree with you.

You will run into hateful messages. Ypu will feel the urge to retaliate. There will be opinions that take every fiber in your being not to respond with rage. But if you focus on the anger, all the reasons why the other side don't deserve kindness, you miss growth and understanding. You miss the thing that changes people's minds, creates solutions, and truly makes a change.

Kindness is hard. Kindness is important.

[ratinacoat-deactivated20260310]

I don't know how to phrase this in a different way so before you come at me I'm gunna need y'all to read the post.

If fake claiming will be detrimentally damaging to your mental health, you shouldn't post about your disorder.

STICK WITH ME STICK WITH ME I'M NOT BLAMING PEOPLE FOR BEING FAKECLAIMED

Genuinely as advice, don't post publicly about information that could be used against you in a way that will damage you. It's similar to why you shouldn't post about your insecurities or triggers. People will use it against you. This includes things like disorders. If you make it known that fake claiming causes you distress, there's going to be someone out there who just does it for fun.

It's okay to be bothered by fake claiming. I'm not blaming you for being fake claimed if you have been on social media before. Something more people need to understand is that the internet will never be a safe space, and that's not your fault but it's important to remember that when you're posting information that could be used to hurt you.

If someone saying you're lying about your disorder will cause you to spiral into denial, then keep that as a close friends only subject. If it just mildly upsets you then don't post about the fact it upsets you. If it doesn't bother you at all then awesome.

Put your safety and wellbeing before the internet. Stay safe y'all.

[sorority-system]

Please note this is be taken as /gen and /lighthearted at times

I think its to be noted that theres naunce to this post. It *is* general internet safety that you dont share private info online and that you dont post stuff that would hurt you later in the future. But... the truth is that these guys are trolls. When i was younger and more hurt, i scrolled thru syscringe / fdc a lot. And these guys did more than post public posts. They posted dms in servers they infiltrated, they posted dms with personal friends they had, ancedotes about "weird kids" in highschool, their own experiences faking...

I think if we have the knowledge that we shouldnt post personal things online when it hurts us, these guys have the knowledge that bullying is wrong. We dont help ourselves by making us "docile" and non cringe worthy. Right now, im unsure how we help each other. But making ourselves more digestible to the trolls is not where we start.

[plural-questioning]

question 7: do you have any characters you think are plural? if you write, have you made any plural characters?

[sorority-system]

Great time to bring up an oc who we refer to as our "plegg moment"

For context, we used to be into danganronpa and was getting into dangan fangames. We wanted our own dr oc but was struggling to come up with an idea. Then, i remember a trait of mine that i consistently got stressed over when i was teeny. I used to cry in my head over how i didnt really have a "consistent voice". I think what i meant was that i didnt really know who i was (depersonalization) and my voice in my head kept on changing (switching). But i THOUGHT i had grown out of it. So i included it in my oc (kameko) because it was cool to base an oc on that.

For further proof:

[sorority-system]

Update: heres her now

[heartbeat-sys]

character: (staring directly at the camera) i am plural. a system. a plural system. a collective. etc.

singlet audience: hmmm but what if its actually a metaphor

[sorority-system]

Alternatively:

Character in horror media: i am an outside source. A case of supernatural horror. Or hallucinations caused by black mold / a gas leak.

Singlet audience: but you see its actually a really cool piece on having multiple personalities and the effects it has-

[plural-questioning]

question 30: How do you all prefer to have you or your system referred to? Would you use a collective name, a full name, individual names, etc.?

[sorority-system]

People who know me irl and acknowledge im a system actually dont call me anything. Its rlly funny tbh

[sorority-system]

re:system bigotry + The Grey Faction

I think. Its safe to assume there are levels of bigotry from the general public when you mention anything about systemhood.

You dont normally tell your everyday person youre a system. I dont go to my coworkers in the middle of a shift and mention my plurality and the details of it.

But i do need to mention it to the people close to me. To the people i want to trust and care for me. To the people im trying to trust and let care for me.

Your boundaries on who you want to tell will differ from person to person. Some people might not even want to tell it to anyone but strangers online. But i think, the plain and simple truth, is that you shouldnt feel like you have to hide away a part of yourself to loved ones. It isnt cool to not let them acknowledge who you are. It doesnt make you cool to act like your disorder / facet of your life didnt shape you into being whoever you are. It especially doesnt make you cool to make fun of people who are trying to love and accept themselves and all of their parts, alters, headmates etc.

Its not cringe to love yourself guys!! Big news.

Anyways, i think like a lot of things, The Grey Faction is an aspect of bigotry and conspiracy theory levels of delusion that only hinder our ability to love. They have a need for control over vulnerable people.

I hope we as a community can fight against this greater evil.

[sorority-system]

I think. When it comes to ramcoa, a lot of people need to realize that it doesnt have to be big crime organizations running the underground. Its sometimes a lot simpler.

[cutesign]

Cheap 35mm film cameras, from FUUVI, are packaged cutely in the shape of juice boxes. The straw becomes the shutter button. 

❥cutesign

[pluralprompts]

Prompt #2,140

Write about a system finding out they have IBS!

[sorority-system]

Why write about it when i can simply live it

[plural-questioning]

question 7: do you have any characters you think are plural? if you write, have you made any plural characters?

[sorority-system]

Great time to bring up an oc who we refer to as our "plegg moment"

For context, we used to be into danganronpa and was getting into dangan fangames. We wanted our own dr oc but was struggling to come up with an idea. Then, i remember a trait of mine that i consistently got stressed over when i was teeny. I used to cry in my head over how i didnt really have a "consistent voice". I think what i meant was that i didnt really know who i was (depersonalization) and my voice in my head kept on changing (switching). But i THOUGHT i had grown out of it. So i included it in my oc (kameko) because it was cool to base an oc on that.

For further proof: