Whoops.

Emily || ♉️ || 27

[cupiidzbow]

there ain’t a single damn game of golf he need to be going all this for

[rechnermensch]

[noknowshame]

my favorite thing about the mystery genre is that we all accept the concept of "world famous detective" without hesitation even though that is absolutely not a real category of celebrity

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[froggribs]

[leathergerard]

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate

[leathergerard]

he didnt respond to my observation. just sorta stood there

[leathergerard]

... much like something else i know of

[gyhujikoijuhyguhij-deactivated2]

this is what i say when anything happens ever

[lonestatus]

personally my first guess as to how joker got his scars would be from smiling too big. but maybe that's my dreamer's heart

[kaylmao]

[kaylmao]

[raccoonmilf]

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to refer to your unvaccinated dog as an “empty vessel for rabies.” I’m sure it’s also something else. Like an empty vessel for distemper.

[segamascott]

[yellow-cat]

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

[despazito]

do u mind if i take up space

[loyalsquire]

I'm learning so much about princesses on tumblr dot com

[wastemanjohn]

i just saw a post on reddit titled "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" and it was about OP clicking off a fic because they don't like the direction it's going in. slightly different context but can we all be more like this reddit OP. i think "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" should be the new "don't like don't read." dead doves may give you diarrhea but don't make that everyone else's problem.

[elf-trash]

this is a great way to frame it lol like just bc i'm lactose intolerant doesn't mean i should leave a bad review on the ice cream parlor

[decadent-hag]

Where that New England Gothic post

[countkunt]

my personal favorite

[lifeattomsdiner]

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

[tonyzaret]

(CW: unreality)

dracula ghostbusters