The Mighty Quinn

If you voted for the orange felon you’re legally required to kill yourself and send me the footage

[pastelaeqy]

this is what I’ve been working on for the past month. I love you Kirby I love you Kirby Series take this as a token of my appreciation.

[romanceyourdemons]

victorian trans guy who goes to beloved local barber sweeney todd and presses half a crown in his hand and says “begging your pardon sir, i know it ain’t much but i was hoping you might tell my employer i get me shaves from you should he ever come around. only he’s been asking me how i keep my chin so smooth and i haven’t the heart to tell him i can’t grow a beard, so i might have told him a little lie, sir, and said it’s all due to your wonderful skill, sir” and sweeney todd goes “no problem. by the way would you say your employer deserves to die”

[chryza]

Debating silently showing this to one of the flight attendants while boarding

[chryza]

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

[bippysaurus-rex]

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[phantomrose96]

[scramratz]

“Oh you wanna look at the menu? Just scan this QR code!” And what if I blew this place up?

[danskjavlarna]

Source details and larger version.

[thedurvin]

@lesserknownwaifus

[harpsi-corpse]

The cards see all.

[catchymemes]

[creatingblackcharacters]

"I've never heard of Megan Thee Stallion before" if you've ever said any variation of "Hot Girl Summer" then congratulations you've benefitted from an internationally popular Black female artist's creativity

[creatingblackcharacters]

"I thought those were just memes" yeah y'all tend to do this to a lot of things Black people create and/or do, while conveniently cutting them out in the process. You should really consider how easy it was and why that is. I do have a suggestion.

[orcboxer]

autism tests are so funny. I'm extremely literal most of the time, but people don't tell me that generally, so I'm inclined to answer disagree. because I'm taking the statement too literally

[peopleingishard]

^not my post but same sentiment

[quietwingsinthesky]

all the “peer pressure is bad” education we give kids is practically useless because all it cares about is telling them that Drugs Are Evil rather than the much more useful lesson of ‘the person who responds to you saying you don’t drink by telling you they’ll find a way to get you to is also going to be shitty about all your other boundaries’.

[quietwingsinthesky]

god forbid you teach kids that their consent should be respected rather than about the inherent immorality of all the sinful actions of their peers

[mevil]

[cpericardium]

hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

[cpericardium]

[cpericardium]

[c3rvida3]

People will write a five page "summary" of their novel that tells me nothing about the plot other than that it has totally gay Y2K T4T Southern gothic transmasc cottagecore enemies to lovers buzzword vibes only for the actual contents of the book to be less diverse and inclusive and compelling than the line, "All of my friends were jealous, except my blind friends," from hit Neil Cicierega song "Really Cool Wig".

[luna-azzurra]

The two wolves inside every writer: "this is genuinely the best thing i have ever written. i am gifted. i am changed. this paragraph alone justifies my entire existence on this planet." and then five minutes later, same paragraph: "who wrote this. who allowed this. this reads like a golden retriever trying to describe grief. i need to lie down and reconsider everything." both wolves are always wrong. the paragraph is fine. you need a snack.

[prunsel]

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

[computationalcalculator]

[bumblebeebats]

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

[spectralhauntings]

I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3

Explore Pet Poison Helpline®s vast knowledge on poisons by reviewing our pet poison list. Explore our top 10 poison and holiday poison lists

[littlemousling]

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog