More actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel without context, as people kept pointing out things I'd missed:
The entire plot happens because Dracula is a teaboo
A character proposes marriage with a scalpel in hand and keeps playing with it throughout the conversation
A vampire bat (not a vampire) somehow drinks enough of a horse's blood to cause the horse to collapse
Dracula gets smacked in the face with a shovel
After attributing nightmares to paprika consumption, a character eats more paprika for breakfast
The heroes hire a locksmith to make their home invasion look more respectable
To prepare for raiding a vampire's lair, one character brings three small dogs
A character laments being unable to wed multiple people at once
A therapist starts speculating about elephants' souls mid-session
An official cause of death is written as "misadventure in falling from bed"
Dracula has a Krampus-esque sack that he shoves children into
A character realizes that his host has no reflection but is more concerned with shaving than investigating that
A reporter brags about his running speed mid-article
Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, goes by the incredibly subtle alias "de Ville"
A character is misled by phonetic spelling
A character receives three marriage proposals in one day
The SPCA tries to adopt Dracula
A doctor refers to a patient as his "pet lunatic"
We are told vampires can be defeated by putting branches on their coffins
A character gets slashed at with a knife and loot splatters on the floor, like a video game NPC
A character brings anti-vampire flowers but doesn't tell anyone the purpose of said anti-vampire flowers, which leads to another character moving them and enabling a vampire attack
A character's hair turns from dark to white literally overnight
Twice in the novel, Dracula says "Bah!" The second time is his final line of dialogue
There's a deleted scene of Dracula lying on top of the protagonist and licking him for hours
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