[fuckyeahgreatplays]

Me, constantly

[thealogie]

god….take the shot

[humortelible]

[sridevi]

my laptop: *starts hissing and wheezing and got her fans whirring on high speed*

me:

[pupppylover-deactivated20181221]

Director Brad Bird talks about how they came up with the name for “Ratatouille” 

[kronosa113]

He’s so great

[adhdmoi]

im a simple gal. people raise their voices at me, i cry for an hour

[arandomthot]

Going to have to remember that line

[gundambarbatos]

Black Friday is over and my manager slapped me with $10,000

[jui-ci-fer]

reblog the money gamestop to get beat over the head with cash

[hotboyproblems]

friend: i'll pick you up at 5

clock: 5:01

me: wHeRE teh fuKc

[birdgirl45-deactivated20120118]

[troyyy]

this is my favorite video of all time

[booblessgoddess]

My brother just sent me this on snapchat I can’t fucking stop laughing this is so stupid I hate him

[theshitneyspears]

“is that you?” “……………….yah.”

[yungbara]

this is the best thing I watched today

[discreet45]

[fiztheancient]

i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

[jerkstorecalling]

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

[toolusingmammalgirl]

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

[saggyass-sadgirlshorts]

so a tourist in Italy is fulfilling her lifelong dream of seeing the birth of venus, her fave painting, in person. and while she’s there a Hot Girl strikes up a conversation with her and she loves art and is charming and they talk until the museum closes. they exchange numbers. the next day the birth of Venus painting is stolen, nobody knows who stole it. so anyways, the two girls continue dating and are happy and shit? and on their one year anniversary her girlfriend reveals that she’s an international art thief and she stole the birth of venus after meeting her. tourist girl flips and wants it returned she doesn’t want to just. hoard the art so nobody can see it. so then art thief has to do a reverse heist where she sneaks the painting back into the museum without getting caught

[animate-mush]

Bear in mind that the Birth of Venus is like 15 feet tall and 30 feet wide…

[malcolmcooks]

why would you have to do a reverse heist instead of like thouroughly cleaning it of fingerprints, DNA and other trace evidence and then just quietly dropping it off round the back underneath a tarp and a note attached

[saggyass-sadgirlshorts]

because she’s gay and loves drama don’t ever question me again

[lets-talk-about-sects]

Botticelli would have wanted this and you know it

[dogfella-deactivated20150228]

yelling hard enough triggers my gag reflex

[kochamchleb]

I cannot believe I get to see this video again 

[taylortut]

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

[taylortut]

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything 

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

You pleased a mad fae trickster

[bufhasvhndsls-deactivated201610]

GET A LOAD OF THAT DOG

[owlmylove]

[distantly] THAT DOG