the geek next door @southernstarrr - Tumblr Blog

lousysharkbutt

no one will ever know

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stylishjunkdrawer

has this been done yet

zykova

Gentlemen, it has been a privilege reblogging with you tonight.

oliverwxod

R.I.P Stan Lee. You were an absolute legend and inspiration, thank you.

‘The only advice anybody can give is, if you wanna be a writer, keep writing. And read all you can, read everything.’ – Stan Lee

queenbradbury

omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon

and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there

and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza

and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door

so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens

celestialkiri

astrxm-star

The devil is a Domino’s Delivery Boy

ripe

花布爱上鸟_ on weibo

tastefullyoffensive

It’s October! You know what that means... 🎃 (via kxvo)

queerlyglittering

all my life I’ve somehow only ever seen the gifs of this. I never even knew that the pumpkin man was dancing to the Ghostbusters theme. This whole thing is so much better than I ever could have expected from the gifs omg

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

IT BEGINS :D

catchymemes

Cosplayer Kiera Please!

IG: kieraplease

itsbeezo

This should have way more notes she murdered these 😍

mtfautoandrophile

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

maltedmalaphors

a cat stuck outside a bathroom door ghost-wrote this

babyanimalgifs

jillypups

they will ride together in battle side by side the world shall quake in fear

cindy-clawford

@vedderman

porcelaincloud

My cat: comfortable, hasn’t moved in 3 hours

Me: gives one (1) pat

Cat: my rest……… it has been,, disturb ed……..I ………..can no longor……lay here…. must go…..

byebyebriar

The Four Elemental Power Walks

Water:

Earth:

Fire:

Air:

viperbranium

my favorite thing about this is that each of them is walking in a different direction, it’s like these girls are off to conquer the entire goddamn world

buttsputnik

They’re gonna meet in the middle

phantomavenger

In the middle they will find the avatar, master of all elements and the force:

helthehatter

I REBLOGGED BEFORE BUT IT GOT BETTER

goddess29

Perfect.

savvylittleminx

*slams reblog button*

crownedcams

seekanewerworld-deactivated2018

#2017 mood

anexperimentallife

debrides

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

lesbirdan

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

hermionegranger

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

thomrainierskies

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

mirab3lle

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

icouldwritebooks

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

crimeronan

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

agrestenoir

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

gin-and-eschatonic

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

im-significant

my dad worked at a full service gas station in college and once greeted a customer (welcome to conoco, how can i help you?), pumped the guy’s gas, went around the car washing the windows, and upon coming back to the driver’s window: “welcome to conoco, how can i help you?” His coworker nearly cried from laughter.

my dad’s friend worked the information desk at a bank and on a particularly stressful day answered the phone with “Bank of America, this is Matthew, can you help me?”