s a r a h !

dirt girl dirt girl dirt girl

[writing-prompt-s]

Describe the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen, in three words.

[shownumetal]

just like bart

[clownsuggest]

clown costume on, third eye stapled shut, lets do this ladies

[curseworm]

im starting a gang and we’re gonna go out and destroy every golf course. rip up all the grass and replace it with native plants and fruit trees and shit. we move at midnight be there or be a casualty of the revolution

[walkingheads-deactivated2025122]

[gemstone-gynoid]

What if the moon landing didn’t happen it just grew a flag like that.

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Neil Armstrong was just already there

[glitterboyera-deactivated202510]

The moon landing faked itself

[closet-keys]

[cheruib]

[burymeinpink-remade-deactivated]

i eat a lot of bread because it’s soft and i deserve it. also i am gorgeous

[heavensickness]

[fatsoupy]

gender: bastard

[flannelsandjeans-deactivated202]

Buffets are PVP enabled areas

[flannelsandjeans-deactivated202]

Just saw a lady pour chili onto her pizza

[pokeyscrypt]

Enchanting her weapon

[play-doh-slut]

i’ve had a realization and i’m sure it’s been done before but-

millennial depression:

vs

gen z depression:

[cpunks]

that weird group of teens who were born 1999-2003 all experienced millennial depression around age 12 and then currently experience gen z depression

[paigedoesntsoundcoolio]

WHAT WHY IS THIS ACCURATE WAIT

[mrbulian]

[trans-mouse]

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks. Literally, I’ve never been this funny in my entire goddamn life

[cmyknoise]

a gem, this is a god damn gem

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

anxiety brain: IM GOING TO DIE ALONE AND UNCARED FOR

the other side of my brain which is wearing a hawaiian shirt: [cracks another sparkling water] yeah probably

[plasmalogical]

i was talking with my brothers yesterday and we decided the best way to own a guy who takes off his shirt to fight you is to pick his shirt up and put it on

[suffuse]

I walk this lonely road. in my bag, i have a giant toad

[cherenkovs]

Don’t know where it goes, but it’s only me and this giant toad

[weirdnessisgood]

[whereshadowsmakeshadows-deactiv]

[chazkuangshi]

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

[ephemeral-lightning]

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

[chazkuangshi]

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

[lizardvvizard]

[nutsacktorturer]

sir that’s my emotional support lobster