Perpetual Sadness.

We serve agony here, sir/madam.

[spahhzy]

Jaune: Forgive me Cinder, but I cannot stand besides someone who has willingly committed crimes against humanity.

Jaune: No need to wait for me.

Jaune: I will not return.

Jaune: I will keep the gate shut and lock you here indefinitely.

Jaune: Had you truly valued human lives, I might have visited you here from time to time to perhaps make up for my broken promise.

Jaune: but-

Cinder: Thats alright, it won't change a thing. Once my true beyond is complete, you will be there, in your seat.

Cinder: In the end you will keep your promise to me-willingly or not.

Cinder: You will sit there-listening to my endless elegies and reveries.

Cinder: You might smile.

Cinder: You might cry.

Cinder: You might seek my forgiveness.

Cinder: One thing is certain: You will be mine-utterly and thoroughly mine.

Cinder: Mine. Until the end of time.

[spahhzy]

I really, sincerely, hope this area isn't a one off, I hope this story between Rover and Phrolova isnt concluded (I think there will be more to it, it can't be PhrolOver).

[spahhzy]

Neo: Once I dreamt we were dear to each other.

Neo: I woke to find that we were strangers.

[spahhzy]

Rover x Phrolova main now (shorekeeper in shambles)

What an amazing quest!

[spahhzy]

Deleted Genshin and Star Rail, over a year ago, decided to re-download it, play for the giggles.

Account no-longer exists.

Oh.

Okay.

Not sure I can go through it all lmao.

Alright, let me try Wuthering Waves.

[spahhzy]

Current state of mind

[spahhzy]

Deleted Genshin and Star Rail, over a year ago, decided to re-download it, play for the giggles.

Account no-longer exists.

Oh.

Okay.

Not sure I can go through it all lmao.

Alright, let me try Wuthering Waves.

[spahhzy]

Team RNJR

[spahhzy]

Jaune: *shirtless*

Weiss:

[spahhzy]

Jaune: What does Neo mean when she sends me this?

Neo: 🥵😉

Emerald: I don't know? I just get a string of emojis that I have to dechiper like its charades.

[spahhzy]

A magnificent @superiorsturgeon once said "what 'no Jaune' does to her" and welp.

Yang: Weekends coming up, any plans?

Ruby, with a pack of cookies, looks at her sister with a smile

Ruby: Thinking about going to this really popular night club.

Yang: Woah my baby sister is going to a night club? Time does fly...though I didnt take you to be a partier.

Ruby: I enjoy a good party every now and again.

Yang: You know with the whole socially awkward thing, and with your boyfriend on a mission you uh...yeah, you don't take a liking too people.

Ruby: Oh sister of mine...your right! I don't!

Yang: Huh? Don't what?

Ruby: Like people! Only Jaune, and a scant few but mainly Jaune, and if I have to suffer without Jaune, well...

Ruby proceeds to eat a cookie as Yang looks at Ruby, with confusion.

Yang: I-well what do you do there?

Ruby gives an un-nerving smile.

Ruby: I spend the evening...locating couples.

Yang: Ruby?

Ruby: Once I located several happy couples...I'll watch!

She eats another cookie.

Ruby: Waiting for the right moment that the male partner boyfriend, husband, fiance what have you-

Ruby eats another cookie.

Ruby: -Needs to use the restroom.

Ruby: 'Answer nature's call' as it were called.

Yang: To what end sis! Why!?

Ruby: At which point I will tail him at a safe distance as to not alert him of my presence!

Ruby: Just another possible bathroom goer...at the clerb.

Ruby: Once, im in the bathroom, I will discreetly spray him, with a popular female perfume.

Yang looked appalled!

Yang: No! Not the female fragrances!

Ruby: I'll then remove my self of the bathroom before him, get back into the crowd.

Ruby: Find the best seat for the show!

Yang: What do you mean front row seat...

Ruby eats another cookie.

Ruby: When he returns from the restroom.

Ruby: She will discern that foreign scent!

Ruby eats another cookie.

Ruby: 'Babe, whose perfume is that?'

Yang: No!

Ruby: And I simply WATCH.

Yang: Illegal!

Ruby: Voila Cinéma!

Yang: You need to go to jail sis...

Ruby: and if im feeling REALLY spicy?

Ruby: I'll bring a bright red shade of lipstick.

Ruby: Apply it myself.

Yang: Why!?

Ruby: Till I find the boyfriend who is wearing LIGHT colored clothing and just 💋

Ruby: on the shoulder soft enough where they won't feel it but...

Yang: No, oh please NO!

Ruby: Firm enough to leave that lipstick stain.

Yang: Th-thats messed up.

Yang: I'm pretty sure thats a warcrime!

Ruby: Imagine the chaos.

Ruby just looks at her sister in the eye, that smile, that evil smile still present on her face as she held up another cookie to her mouth, this time she bit into the cookie when it was vertical.

Yang: Oh gods Jaune please get home soon!

-Somewhere-

Jaune: *achoo* I feel like someone is committing an atrocity and it has something to do with me...

[spahhzy]

Pyrrha: *holding a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice to Jaune, some blood on her cheek*

Jaune: ...Pyrrha when I said, 'I'd kill for some OJ', I didn't mean literally!

Pyrrha: 😅 oops?

Jaune: You just can't 'haha oopsie doodle' out of this! who did you kill for this? And WHY?

Pyrrha: oh you know just a bad person, don't worry about it Jaune, come come, ive got a whole pitcher of OJ we can have together~

-

Emerald: huh...i haven't seen Cinder all day today.

[infoglitch]

Here's a cursed thought.

Technically if you think about it-

The black lion from voltron is shoulder deep fisting the red and green lions.

Like damn that's gotta be very uncomfortable if they were actually alive, imagine having a person's entire arm up your ass and it's like, there and you can still move but like it feels weird.

Let's not even talk about the yellow and blue, getting fisted is already EXTREMELY uncomfortable but if it's somebody's entire lower leg?! God I'd hate every second of it.

Enjoy having that burned into your skull

[spahhzy]

Thank you sir.

[howlingday]

OTP: Jaune, why is your sword glowing?

Jaune: Apparently, they don't like the idea of me having sex; because they're a fucking buzzkill!

[spahhzy]

Neo: 😈

Crocea: What are you smiling about? Hey! Un-hand me this instant!

Jaune: Neo? Where are we going?

-One Hotel Room Later-

Crocea: OH MY GOODNESS! MY EYES! MY SOUL! SU-SUCH INDECENCY! HOW IS SHE THIS FLEXIBLE!? AND I SEE THAT HE HAS THS CURSED STAMINA! THEY'VE BEEN AT IT FOR HOURS!

Neo had propped up Crocea Mors on a chair, in the corner of the room, and decided to give that stupid piece of archaic metal a show.

Crocea: OH GODS SHE CAN DUPLICATE! IS THEIR NO END TO THIS!

Hush, propped up next to Crocea.

Hush: First Time?

[spahhzy]

Jaune: Hi guys! Turns out their wasn't anyone in the walls at all! Hahaha! Silly me!

Jaune smiles at Weiss and Ruby, who both looked at him with concern, as he walks away from a destroyed room, sledge hammer in one hand, Flashclang in another.

Voices: 1

Jaune: 0

[spahhzy]

Jaune: Dating me is basically adopting a sleep deprived raccoon with a security clearance and an unhealthy addiction to white monster.

Weiss: I'm calling animal control.

[spahhzy]

Robber: Man, were gonna be rich this house has so many valuables!

Robber 2: Ha yeah, oh. Lemme check the fridge all this villany has gotten me thirsty.

Robber 2 check fridge and find some chocolate milk!

Robber 2: Score! *grabs and begins chugging from the jug*

Robber: Hurry up man, we gotta scram before the people wake up.

Robber 2 was still chugging.

Robber 1 went to check on his friend.

Robber: come on its just chocolate-

He taps him on the shoulder and his friend shattered like glass.

Robber: !!!!

Stumbling backwards he fell on his butt, scrambling back, he backed into something, a pair of legs, looking up he saw a pair of pink and brown eyes staring down at him, annoyed.

She was holding a crowbar...and was that a...a flashbang zip tied to it.

'Neo Defender of Choccy Milk'

appeared before him as well as a health bar and was that music? *Unholy Sieg plays ominously in the background*

Robber 1: What the fu- *Flashclanged*

-

Jaune with a tied up Robber 2.

Jaune: Something about a girl, a flashbang and crowbar just knows how to get me all giggly.

Neo comes into scene dragging an unconscious Robber 1.

Jaune: Police are on their way hun, so if you wanna beat them senseless before they get here, make it fast.

Neo just shakes her head, just grabbing Jaunes hand and leading them back into their home, wanting to crawl back into bed after being rudely disturbed

Jaune: Fella's you sure are lucky, don't do it again, bye now!

[spahhzy]

Ruby with a disheveled look as she points to Weiss.

Ruby: I need YOU to invest into this new product tbat I have made!

Weiss: ...what is it?

Ruby giggles insanely as she pulls back some curtains.

Ruby: Introducing the BOLT FUCKER 5000.

The curtains revealed Jaune, wearing only pants being held up by suspenders.

He holding some piece of metal.

Weiss: 🫪

Ruby: 🫪

Ruby: Do not let this sexy man blind you! The bolt fucker 5000 is the best piece of leverage any handy man/woman could ever have! Think of all those times you couldnt unbolt a bolt because you didnt have enough leverage.

Ruby: but now *mad laughter* now, with this tool, no more wrench slipping, no more bruised knuckles! You just slip on this over your wrench and voila, leverage for days!

Ruby: annnnd if you want more leverage? Slip on a breaker bar, whats that? Not enough? Then slip on a cheater pipe and their you have it, Thick, juicy lenghty girthy leverage!

Weiss: 🫪

Jaune: ...uh not that im complaining, it is a little hot but why did you need me to present this with my shirt off Ruby?

Ruby: Marketing 101 my dear Jaune, give the people a product they need.

Jaune: ...huh?

Weiss: 🫪

-

*Up in heaven*

Pyrrha: 🫪

GoL: Oh thank me, she calmed down.

-

In a tree, in another dimension.

Neo: 🫪🤤

Blacksmith: What the...

-