Wish there was a better social shorthand for “I’m sure they’re a lovely person in their own way but we are so baseline incompatible that being around them longer than five minutes makes me feel like exploding into smithereens.”
Maturing and building truly healthy relationships MUST include what OP is speaking to here. It’s unrealistic to like all people and be liked by all people. Some people are “good” but they’ll still bug the shit out of you. Some people’s communication styles aren’t “wrong” but they may trigger tf out of someone else by no fault of their own. Some people who are annoying to many may be the life of the party to a few.
Abandon all or nothing thinking. Resist false dichotomies and honor the VERY REAL AND COMPLEX space between “I like them” and “they’re my enemy and/or an actual bad person.”
Expect and accept when people just don’t mesh well. Set your own boundaries AND also support and reinforce your friends’ rights to not mesh well with your other friends when this occurs. This doesn’t have to be mean, toxic, or “drama.” You can just create social spaces with different friends at different times. And when it comes to work, you can learn to work well with all measures of annoying (but well intentioned) people, I promise 😅
