Good timezone my friends, I am happy to present another constellation in the bright sky of fanfiction:Β The Loving Master series by calqmity on AO3.Β
A note from the BG3 Fic Reviews team:
As always, mind the tags, and for this wonderfully dark work in particular, as it includes numerous controversial and dark themes. These include NSFW; dead dove; necrophilia; non-con elements; and abusive relationships; among others.
Our review is continued below the fold due to the heavy nature of the content in this particular series.
Virtual photography by @xandirge.
The series is comprised of three separate works exploring the dark desires of our favourite bloodsucker Ascended Astarion. It starts with The Doll Collector, a fantastic title in and of itself with no small amount of sinister foreshadowing.Β
In this story there is a constant and ominous theme of dehumanisation as well as an exploration of Astarionβs relationship with death. The author details Ascended Astarionβs recently devised methods of collecting his new vampire spawn cohort, as well as the addiction he develops in controlling their lifeless bodies. (Reminder: mind the tags!)
Astarion is obsessively controlling, and takes great delight in stripping any sort of independence or autonomy from his spawn that they may have once enjoyed in their former lives. It is a dark work, and there is no healing to be found here. This is an excellently constructed examination of Ascended Astarionβs dark mind and how he fulfills his most toxic needs as his spawn become his latest possessions to play with at his leisure.
The Unbearable Pressure, the author's second work in the series, is no different to its predecessor in its exploration of Ascended Astarion's growing darkness and cruelty. This work focuses more on on his relationship with his most disobedient spawn, Blaze, and his efforts to break her and ensure her obedience.Β
The theme of dehumanisation and dollification gets more pronounced the further we read. Astarion wants to control every single part of his spawn. And even despite the obvious sadism of his actions, Astarion genuinely believes he is doing his spawn and kindly, and grapples to understand why his spawn are not more grateful for his 'assistance' and what he considered his dedicated 'care'.Β The author has expressed Astarion's delusion of benevolence well, as our narrator is wonderfully unreliable.
Haunted By Your Touch, Aching For Your Love is our third and final work in the series, and quite possibly my favourite of the three! (I would call it a crowd pleaser, but that requires that the crowd in question likes breaking characters down and making them suffer oh so deliciously.)
The cycle of abuse and the affection for oneβs captor can be difficult to write in fiction. There is a common mistake of stepping back from the actions and becoming more clinical in order to convey why the cycle is happening and why it continues, and, in so doing, create a disconnect between the readers and the characters. This work sees that tripping point coming from miles away and does cartwheels over it.Β
We are deep in Astarionβs mind and psyche in this work as his delusions and twisted perspective have completely erased any distinction between reality and his wicked desires. It is left to the keen eye of the reader to pick up on the subtle hints and evidence of his delusions, which are expertly described by the author via the reactions are the other characters that suffer Astarion's whims and mistreatment.
The Loving Master, as a whole, is a wonderful exploration into dark themes and abusive relationships. Astarionβs character is portrayed consistently through the entire series using beautiful metaphors that I could hear Astarion himself repeating in his own voice. And beyond our lead antagonist, the author's original characters are well-written and developed, becoming well-established personalities in their own right. Each one has their own clear motivations and responds to Astarion differently, adding to the depth of the overall narrative with every line. These stories are also structurally sound, as you can look forward to a healthy mix of short and long paragraphs and sentence structures that makes the story easy to read and easy to enjoy.
Mind the tags on AO3, as The Loving Master does not shy away from NSFW elements and very heavy themes.Β
Enjoy your dove, but be aware. It is very, very dead.
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We have included a snippet of The Doll Collector below for your enjoyment, as well as the author's tags as they are currently listed on AO3 for this particular work.
The Doll Collector
"One more bite, is all it would take."
And now his beautifully pliant Lydia laid underneath him, fully submitted to his one desire: for her to become his. Her jet black hair framed her round, delicate face. Through her long, black eyelashes, her dark purple eyes stared up at him, wide and vulnerable. The indigo moonlight skin that bruised wonderfully under the force of his fingers was soft and warm to the touch.
"Be gentle," her quiet voice trembled.
There was nothing gentle about forging an undead monster out of an innocent, precious soulβhis perfectly obedient, beautiful little monster, yet a monster nonethelessβbut he could pretend, for just a moment.
He brought her wrist up to his mouth, laying a feather light kiss on top of the flesh, eating the garnish before digging into the main course. He cradled it in his hands before sinking his teeth in. Her quick yelp from the sudden pain sent a raging, hot inferno through his abdomen, encouraged by the red delicacy on his tastebuds.
Eventually he forced himself to pull away, letting the bloodied, shaking hand fall from his grasp. He leaned forward, placing his hands on either side of her head, trapping his prey.
"You have given me everything...thank you." His words came out breathy and in between sighs of pleasure. The taste of her blood lingered on his lips, but it wasn't enough. He needed every last drop. While the ritual had rid him of the hunger caused by his supernatural curse, it had been replaced with a new hunger: to take, to take, and to take, from everyone around him. He wanted it all.
She look terrified out of her mind about what was about to happen, her eyes glancing at the liquid ruby dripping down his chin. In this moment, she looked like a porcelain doll. Her plump lips and flushed cheeks had a warm glow cast on them from the candle light in the tavern room. But when his fangs pierced her neck, she did not crackβonly screamed. It was like biting into the plumpest, ripest fruit in the orchard, and her cries of pain were the beautiful notes of the birds' song high above in the sky.
Work's been very stressful lately and I got hooked on @jellymellydraws 's "I've Got You" fic to unwind β it's a treat. Astarion is a bard, Alfira's joined camp and nothing bad has happened (...yet...?), the ensemble cast is really well-handled, I am having a fantastic time.
Anyway it got me thinking about whether or not our Durges could be friends. I think the answer is yes. :>
Friends, I bring you a review of a fanfic that I hold very close to my heart, and written by a very dear friend.
Too Many Burdens to Bear is an in-depth, insightful exploration of what it means to be a survivor of sexual violence and trauma. In it, @autistichalsin explores the toll that profound, untreated trauma can have on not just the psyche of a survivor, but also those who love them most. The story is centred around Halsin Silverbough, the once Archdruid of the Emerald Grove, and his lover and partner Kiaran, himself a victim of profound trauma as a result of his Bhaalspawn lineage, in a post-canon setting.
Burdens is a difficult, heavy read, and not for the faint of heart. That said, the way the author has navigated the deep complexities of trauma - not just for Halsin, but Kiaran as well - is a masterwork that few writers will ever achieve in their lifetime. I review books professionally as a journalist. I have studied works like JM Coetzee's award-winning novel Disgrace at length in an academic, university setting for a number of years. Coetzee won a number of awards for Disgrace, which also explores sexual violence. And yet, Coetzee's work cannot begin to even hope to compare to the nuanced, trauma-sensitive and profoundly compassionate narrative and story that autistichalsin had embarked upon in Burdens.
Shame is a prominent theme in Burdens as Kiaran tries to help Halsin overcome his profound sense of shame after his years held in captivity as a sex slave in the Underdark. Halsin's traumatic experiences are triggered after a horrifying encounter with someone from his past, and his anger, fear, and self-isolation in response threatens to destroy the couple. And yet, their love for one another and mutual trust perseveres through Halsin's pain as the couple try to find a way to help the former Archdruid find healing after centuries of repressing the most traumatic moments of his life.
Autistichalsin deftly, carefully, and compassionately explores the deep wounds that remain after sexual assault, with a particular focus on how such trauma can alter how survivors relate to sex, love, and romantic partners.
I have never, ever, in my entire life, read any work that so expertly navigates sexual violence, trauma, and the profound difficulties survivors must face on the path to healing, and particularly in relation to reclaiming their sexual agency. I have never before read a work that so insightfully examines the impact trauma can have on the mind of survivors, and how thoroughly and completely sexual violence can fuck up the way we think about ourselves and the world around us. I have worked in and researched the trauma field for a very, very long time (both academically, and in trying to understand my own experiences of sexual violence). There is not a single line, turn of phrase, or description of Halsin and Kiaran's experience that I could not somehow relate to or that I have not heard other survivors express over my many years - spanning more than a decade - working in this field.
This work deserves to be classed among the world's leading fiction that explores the vastly underrepresented field of recovery from sexual violence and how survivors strive to find healing and joy in sex after the most brutal and intimate of violations. As a rape and abuse survivor myself, I have found hope and healing in Burdens and the beautiful, loving and heartfelt relationship between Halsin and Kiaran. I hope other survivors find the same comfort that I have with this truly wonderful work.
As always, mind the tags on AO3, as Burdens includes heavy themes as well as NSFW elements. You can find Burdens here, and it is an ongoing work. I have included a snippet below the fold, and a picture of the husbear taken by @druidicwhisper.
Chapter 1
Halsin was hurting.
Kiaran wasnβt sure why- wasnβt sure what had happened. And he wasnβt sure how, or even if he could help. But the past few weeks, it had become glaringly clear that something was wrong. The elf loved to talk, and yet he had been so quiet, even when surrounded by the communeβs orphans. Even at night, when telling them their bedtime stories, he opted to read from a book instead of telling one of his own tales. And his voice was so distant while doing so, too, like he was going through the motions of reading while his mind was elsewhere.
If it was just that, Kiaran might have thought Halsin simply had a lot on his mind in this transitional time in their lives. They hadnβt been at their commune for too long, after all, and surely Halsin was thinking of many heavy things as they reclaimed the land that had spent the past century covered in shadow. But Halsin was distant from Kiaran, just as he was with the others: deliberately so. Kiaran could tell it was deliberate, for Halsin pulled away almost half the time Kiaran reached for him now. Even at night, in his meditations, Halsin would jolt when touched and then proceed to find somewhere else to rest, with a mumbled apology and a promise to find him later.
No, something else was clearly the matter, and Kiaran didnβt know what, nor did he know how to ask Halsin. True to form, his kind and supportive partner was all but unable to ask for help, no matter how much he needed it, and that went doubly so when those troubles were of the emotional sort. Halsin had admitted once to having gone for so long without confidantes thanks to the Shadow Curse that he was still adjusting to the idea it was possible for someone to care about his troubles.
Kiaran kept wracking his mind for an event that might have triggered such a reaction, but nothing came to him. Their lives had been blessedly quiet since arriving at the commune; their greatest worries were in blending the multiple cultures their members came from, in maintaining their food stores properly, and other such mundane issues. No longer were they balancing the worldβs fate on their shoulders, or fighting to break a Shadow Curse, or doing anything that resembled the other traumas Halsin had fought against in his long life.
Unlessβ¦
Kiaran frowned suddenly. Could that be it? Maybe Halsin was so used to living one crisis after another that he was unprepared for true peace. Maybe his mind was still experiencing the tumult, even removed from the situation. After all, it wasnβt like the last century had been conducive to healing, and the idyllic calm would give his mind plenty of time to wander to those deep wounds that had never healed, only half-scabbed over.
Kiaran watched Halsin, currently in bear form, curl in on himself in the corner of their hand-built treehouse. It was only a theory, but it was the best lead he had, really. If it turned out to be something else, Kiaran might never figure out what it was unless Halsin volunteered the information himself, and that seemed highly unlikely, if Halsin hadnβt said anything already.
There was no way to find out but by talking to him, Kiaran supposed. He sighed and wandered over to Halsinβs spot, sitting next to the wildshaped cave bear and petting his fur. βHello, love. Can we talk?β he asked softly. βIβ¦ wonβt beat around the bush here, sweetheart. Iβm worried about you. Very worried.β
before the fall
little headcanon that Astarion is a Sun Elf and his parents have a portrait of him framed but closeted away so they don't weep when they see it. big golden boy energy.
Goodness i dont know what to call this au π Maybe itβs hundreds of years in to the future? Maybe Astarion meets Tav again after so much time has passed
snowghoul
origamiaround
gamechangershow
kianamaiart
amandla
prguitarman
tangentwithtanner
pixelskylines
