๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ - ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
โธโธ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ
Being friends since childhood, their fates felt interwoven.
From stolen sunrises and first kisses to whispered promises beneath the Texas sky, there wasn't a version of the future where they weren't together. But after tragedy changes the world overnight, one impossible decision tears them apart.
As years pass and life takes them down different roads, old wounds refuse to stay buried. Some loves fade with time.
Pairing: Cordell Walker x fem!reader
CW: heavy angst, descriptions of spousal abuse (verbal, mental, emotional), toxic relationship (verbal arguments, separation, codependency) language, incarceration, repressed emotions, alcohol abuse/drunkenness, character death (canon), pining, slow-burn. I will create content warnings for each part.
A/n: based on this request. This wasn't supposed to be so angsty! I've been on a big Zach Bryan kick lately. I promise there's a happy ending. ๐นญ
The interaction at the farmers market left Cordell deeply unsettled. There was something in your eyes. Something in the way your body reacted to his presence. Heโd seen you afraid before. The time you stumbled across a rattlesnake curled up in your path, its tail vibrating an aggressive warning. Or when you were late getting home and knew youโd face the brunt of your fatherโs wrath.
He combed through databases trying to find out who Luke was and whether he had a record. Maybe an active warrant. Aside from a speeding ticket, the guy was clean on paper.
โUnless heโs got a warrant, thereโs nothing we can do, Walker.โ James trusted his partnerโs gut, but knew there were limits to their authority. โEven if he is roughinโ her up, theyโre married. That complicates things if she isnโt asking for help.โ
Cordell sighed in frustration and scrubbed his face with his hands.
โYou donโt get it.โ He said, shaking his head. โShe was terrified.โ
โMaybe it was seeing youโitโs been what? Five years?โ He knew his partner wouldnโt let it go. One of the things that made him a great Ranger was his tenacity. โJust tread carefully, Cordell.โ
He set up a notification that would alert him to any complaints involving you or Luke. Silently hoping it wouldnโt be too late.
Weeks passed, then months. He had to take his partnerโs advice and let it go. Without proof or any way to contact you, there was nothing he could do that wouldnโt risk making things worse.
Months quickly turned into years. He arrived at work one day to find a report on his desk about a domestic disturbance that had ended in Lukeโs arrest. His blood ran cold until he saw that you were alive and had refused transportation to the hospital.
He went down to the jail, not entirely sure what he planned to accomplish. To his reliefโand horrorโhe ran into you in the waiting room attempting to arrange for Lukeโs release. Your hair was twisted into a loose bun and you looked exhaustedโworn thin, with a blank expression on your face. Like you were operating on autopilot.
โY/N? What are you doing?โ
You turned toward the familiar voice with a look of shock and embarrassment on your face.
โCordellโฆwhat are you doing here?โ
You flinched nervously when the female officer returned to the plexiglass window in front of you.
โMaโam, Iโm sorry, but as the victim you canโt bail him out,โ she drawled with a sympathetic expression.
โWhat? Iโm not a victim,โ you spat. โIt was just an argument that got out of handโโ
โโIโm sorry, but thatโs the law. Itโs for your own good.โ
โCordell, can you do something? Please?โ Your voice was tight with desperation as you glanced between him and the officer. All these years later, he could still see flashes of the girl he grew up with beneath the panic.
โMaโam, thereโs some pamphlets here and directions to a womenโs shelterโโ she slid them through the tiny opening in the plexiglass, and you nearly saw red.
โKeep your fucking pamphlets.โ You muttered as you turned to storm out.
The officer shrugged at Cordell, mumbling something about outdated, shitty pamphlets.
He called after you as you hurried toward your car in the parking lot. You pulled out your phone to call your momโor anyoneโwhoโd be willing to bail your husband out. It was just a misunderstanding and the neighbors were being nosy. Thatโs what Luke always said.
โWill you just waitโโ Cordell finally caught up to you and placed a gentle hand on your elbow, causing you to yank your arm away.
โWhat!? Unless youโre able to get him out, I donโt have timeโheโs gotta get to work and heโll be pissed if I donโt fix this.โ You werenโt looking at him anymore, just desperately scrolling through your contacts.
He rubbed the back of his head nervously and shoved his other hand into his pocket. Anything to help keep himself restrained.
โIf I get him out,โ he sighed painfully at his own words. โWill you please talk to me? I need to know that youโre safe. I canโt send him home if heโs just gonna hurt you or your kid again.โ
Your eyes narrowed on him.
โโAgainโ? Whatever you think you know about our family, youโre wrong. You have no idea what youโre talking about.โ
Cordell stared at his feet, realizing you were right. There werenโt any obvious signs of physical abuse. He was making assumptions based on instinct and a feeling he couldnโt shake.
โNow can you help me or not?โ
His heart felt like it was being ripped in two by the need to protect you and the desire to make you happy. Both were still there after all those years.
โOn one condition.โ He pulled a card from his old leather wallet. โYou call me when you need me. Keep it somewhere safe.โ
You were confused by the word when, but gingerly took the card from between his fingers. Inspecting it closely and tracing your thumb over the Texas Ranger emblem above his name. You stuffed it into your jacket pocket and nodded.
After twenty minutes, Cordell was escorting Luke out of the jail. Heโd barely said five words to him throughout the entire process. Ignoring him completely when Luke asked how he knew his wife. Before stepping out of the jail as a free man, Cordell stopped him in an empty hallway. Crowding his space while keeping his voice low.
โIf I find out that you lay a finger on her, Iโll be the only person showing up on that callโdo you understand me?โ
Luke scoffed and pulled his lips into a menacing grin. โYou threatening me, Ranger?โ
Cordell huffed a quiet laugh. โNo. Iโm making you a promise.โ
You tried hugging Luke when he approached you in the parking lot. Wrapping your arms around his neck, he barely reciprocated beyond a hand pressed to your back.
โWeโll talk about this when we get home.โ Your stomach dropped, but you didnโt let it show.
Luke didnโt ever hit you. He didnโt have to. His words cut like knives. A small slice at a timeโa death by a thousand cuts. Heโd yell when you werenโt listening, or if heโd had a bad day at work. But it was the silence that hurt the worst. Letting the tension build until you were wound so tightly that a slamming door or cabinet sent you spiraling.
Things were the worst after Maeve was born. When sleep deprivation and hormones fueled your resistance, only to backfire and leave you in a puddle of tears almost every night.
Luke was great with her. She was the apple of his eye, but he took every opportunity to cut you down in front of her. Heโd laugh as your cheeks flushed and your shoulders slumped while Maeve looked around nervously.ย
You knew better than to cry in front of him. He saw that as a manipulation tactic. Youโd simply retreat to the bathroom and run the faucet to muffle the sound of broken sobbing.ย Always making sure the redness had faded from your eyes before coming out.
The night the police were called to your house was a misunderstanding. Youโd been arguing about something small that turned into a screaming match. Maeve retreated to her room and shut the door. The sound of the latch clicking into place made your heart clench.
โIโm going to my momโs for the night,โ you said as you started gathering a few overnight essentials. It was the only way to diffuse the situation and keep Maeve safe. He followed you, trying to bait you back into the argument to no avail.
When you got to the front porch, your foot caught on the banister, sending you tumbling onto the sidewalk below. All your neighbors saw was Luke standing on the porch behind you. Combined with the shouting match that had spilled through doors and windows, they assumed he had pushed you.
Seeing Cordell at the jail was just another painful reminder of the truth. That while you were worried about war turning Cordell into your father, youโd ended up marrying an asshole who was exactly like him anyway.
You had dialed his number a handful of times but hung up when you heard his voice. Fear convinced you it was safer to stay. Besides, Cordell had enough on his plate without having to help you out of your mess. Spending more and more time at your motherโs house was the best you could do to escape.
Once Luke started drinking every night, you had reached your breaking point. Maeve was fourteen and starting to take an interest in boys. You didnโt want her thinking the way he treated you was normal. Summoning the last of your dignity, you finally mustered the courage to leave.
That night, he had gotten in your face and bullied you into giving him your car keys in a drunken attempt to stop you from leaving. The smell of alcohol on his breath made your stomach twist. You held your ground and did your best to placate him.
You waited until he passed out before gathering your daughter in the bathroom.
Too embarrassed to call anyone else, you pulled out the folded business card youโd kept stashed away.
โCordell? Can you please come get us?โ You spoke quietly, simultaneously listening for any noise on the other side of the door.
โIโll be there soon. Just hang tight.โ
He dropped everything he was doing and floored it across town. With his headlights off and his truck idling, he watched you and Maeve climb out of the small bathroom window and run across the moonlit lawn.
He wanted to stay and deal with Luke, but the tears staining Maeveโs face and the desperate look in your eyes forced his hand. That, and he didnโt want him to know where to look for you.
โJust take us to my momโs house. We might get out of town for a while until things settle down.โ You were gently stroking Maeveโs hair while she rested her head in your lap in the backseat.
โYou guys should stay at the ranch. Iโll keep you both safe.โ He finally locked eyes with you in the rearview mirror. โPlease.โ
โYou have your own family to worry about now, Cordell.โ You said quietly with a warm Southern drawl that was sounding more and more like your motherโs. โLet me worry about mine.โ
He finally convinced you to stay at the ranch for the night. He stayed in the living room by the front door while you and Maeve slept in a guest room upstairs. You didnโt sleep. Your eyes stayed glued to the window, watching for any signs of trouble.
As soon as the sun began to rise, you were gently nudging your teenager awake and helping her gather her things.
Cordell had fallen asleep on the couch facing the front door. You looked at him for a moment and recalled the last time youโd been together in the foremanโs cabin nearly twenty years ago. The way youโd stormed out of his life before he was deployed. Now he had given up a night with his wife and children to get you out of a situation that youโd gotten yourself into. Guilt kept you from lingering.
He woke up as soon as the door clicked shut behind you. It took him a moment to get his bearings, but he ultimately decided against running after you. Seeing you again had stirred up feelings he needed to let go of. He was a married man and he was happy with his life.
He still chose not to tell Emily the full story about why heโd stayed at the ranch that night.
You had served Luke divorce papers, agreeing to shared custody. He wasnโt a bad father, just a terrible husband. Using money youโd been secretly saving for years, you made a down payment on a small farmhouse near your motherโs place. She was getting older and, as a widow, needed all the help she could get. You hadnโt talked to Cordell since that night and didnโt plan to. There was no way to properly thank him for what heโd done for you.
A few months later, you found out about Emilyโs murder on the six oโclock news. The wife of a Texas Ranger murdered near the Mexican border. More than once, your finger hovered over his contact in your phone before you decided against calling.
You went to the funeral. Naturally, it was packed with friends and family. Her radiant light and warmth had touched everyone she met. Cordell was just a shell of himself without her. He was surrounded by people guiding him through the motions, but the day was little more than a blur of black clothes and floral arrangements.
You were surprised to see Liam on your porch a few weeks later, asking if youโd seen Cordell. You had finally called him, leaving an awkward voicemail offering your condolences. Telling him to call you if he needed anything. But you hadnโt heard from him.
Dread settled heavily in your gut when he told you they hadnโt seen him in days. It didnโt sound like him to abandon his kids with his parents and run off.
โWhat makes you think Iโd know where he is?โ
He said it was because you were close friends. You knew it was really because Liam had run out of people to ask.
โSorry Liam. If I see him Iโll tell him to call home.โ You turned to head inside when he stopped you.
โI was supposed to give you this. A long time ago.โ He handed you a faded piece of paper folded into a small square. The edges were worn and creased from nervous handling. You gave him a confused look.
โCordi wanted me to give you this when he was deployed. I tried to find youโโ
You grabbed it with a shaky hand and stared at it intently. Trying to read it without opening it. You finally looked at Liam and nodded before heading inside.
Tossing the letter onto the counter, you stared at it for a long moment. Deciding you werenโt in the right place to read whatever it contained, you grabbed your keys and left.
It took you a few hours, but you finally found him. Parked at a remote overlook above the Colorado River. It was almost dark by the time you pulled in behind his truck. Your headlights illuminated him sitting on the tailgate, facing the water.
He didnโt seem to notice you until you were standing in front of him, watching him nurse a bottle of whiskey. When his eyes finally settled on you, he looked like heโd seen a ghost.
โY/N?โ His voice trembled around your name like it was a life preserver.
With your arms crossed tightly over your chest, you swallowed the painful knot forming in your throat. โLetโs get you home, Cordell.โ
You didnโt need to ask what he was doing. Or where heโd been. Heโd clearly been trying to outrun his grief by throwing himself into his work, chasing Emilyโs killers. Living out of his truck, judging by his beard and the clothes heโd apparently been wearing for days.
โYouโre not realโฆโ he slurred, not moving from his place on the tailgate. Heโd been seeing Emily everywhere. The less he slept, the more he saw her.
He drank more to see her less.
Now you were just another vision sent to drive him mad.
hope you enjoyed! part iv will be out soon.
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@thesundontshineontheseeyebrows , @casanddeanswife
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dividers by @winchesterfields67 โค๏ธ
