I'm a spinster @spinster-sisters - Tumblr Blog

Dec 5, 2023

Reality p.sh

Pt3 of Expectations

pt.1 pt.2 (these are 6k and 8k wc respectively but you very much need to read them to get what’s going on here, sorry)

TW: All the usual mafia au warnings apply here (descriptions of guns violence and torture), afab reader, oral (fem receiving), piv, unprotected sex, breeding as a kink with repercussions, the miscommunication in this deserves its own warning

WC: 23k

“You want me to do what?” Seonghwa asks, looking up from his papers in disbelief.

You stood leaning against his mahogany desk, hand on his shoulder running your finger across his tailored suit jacket. You had been preparing for this request from first thing this morning. You had wrapped your arms around his waist when he sat up from bed and pulled him back into your embrace, in a sweet, tiered voice you asked him to stay in bed with you. He chuckled and shook his head, rolling his shoulders to rid the sleep from his body before breaking your grasp gently, laying your arms back down with a smile before standing from the bed.

When he was getting into his car you stood by the driver's side door, taking special care to wish him a good day at work with a sweet smile, you had felt a bit silly doing it considering what his work was, but you still meant it. He had reciprocated your smile with a knowing look.

He slid into the driver's seat of his sleek black car. Although it was nothing flashy, you knew just the bulletproof glass on the car was expensive, not to mention every other modification that had been made to suit your lifestyle. Your arm hung over the door as you leaned down to kiss his cheek, you had let the deep v in your sweater do its work and of course, you noticed his eyes glance down and then away, trying to mask a smirk.

And now, as you stood pressed against his side in nothing but a silk robe with his initials sewn into the lapel, stroking your fingers down his chest. And he had the audacity to look unimpressed.

“I want you to teach me how to shoot.” You repeated, crossing your arms in front of your chest, unhappy with his reaction. Your eyes flick to the silver gun on the far edge of his desk.

Seonghwa’s head fell into his hand as he rubbed his brow bone.

“Where oh where did you get the idea that you need to know how to shoot a gun.” he asked in exasperation. You huffed, lifting yourself to sit on the edge of his desk, the cold wood pressing into your skin.

“Do I need to spell it out for you?” You shot back, crossing your legs with a flare. Seonghwa leaned back into his chair and peered at you.

“Clearly.” He replied incredulously, lifting his arms inches into the air before dropping them back onto the armrest. You huff in disbelief, giving him an equally stern look and sitting up straight.

“In case you forgot, I am married to a mob underboss. The fact I can’t shoot a gun is a liability,” But as you spoke you noticed you we’re losing Seonghwa’s attention.

He couldn’t help it, his eyes dragged up the exposed flesh of your thigh, noticing for the first time that you were practically naked in front of him. That had been the intention, but he certainly chose his moment poorly.

You rolled your eyes at him and snapped your fingers in front of his face. His eyes shot up to meet yours with a wolfish smirk.

Seonghwa reached out and ran a hand up your leg practically to your core. Your thighs clench instinctively as heat shot between your legs; his hand was momentarily trapped between your thighs before you swatted it away.

“What? You come in here practically on display and expect me not to touch?” He grins. You frown at him.

“Not when my husband should be listening to what his wife is trying to tell him.” You humph at him.

“I was listening, and my answer hasn’t changed. You don’t need to know; they will never get close enough for you to need it.” He says definitively, taking hold of the ankle crossed over the other and lifting back across. You can feel yourself getting turned on, it’s inevitable with a man who looks like him, dark and handsome and a silver tongue, you were destined to lose this battle. His hands have already been all over your skin and it is having its desired effect. But you are determined to hear a yes before you submit.

“Oh, come on, pretty please?” You ask with a playful pout, playing into dynamic hoping to pull the right thread that will loosen his will. Leaning back with your hands on the wood behind you as the silk robe slips ever so slightly, keeping you covered but only just. His eyes are trained on your soft skin, you can practically see the desire burning in his eyes as his mind examines every inch of your flushed body, almost as if committing it the moment to memory. Even more so when you arch your back ever so slightly, pushing out your chest.

His hands takes hold of your knees, he looks up at you with a challenging smirk as he begins to spread your legs. He’s looking into your eyes, and he pushes them further apart you feel your breath catch in your throat, if he were to look down now there is no doubt he would see wetness pooling between your thighs at his firm grip. You’re almost completely exposed when he replies.

“I believe I have already told you no.” He says, slicing the tension in the air.

He doesn’t have the chance to gloat. You scoff at him, snapping your knees shut and crossing your arms. It took all your resolve not to give in to him, but you had a plan to stick to.

“Then you don’t get to touch.” You shoot back, already sliding off his desk. Seonghwa sits genuinely stunned for several seconds before shooting up after you. Your hand is on the doorknob when he catches you. He reaches out as you are opening it and slams the door closed again.

Coming up behind you he wraps his free arm around our middle before pushing you against the door from behind. You gasp, feeling him pressed into your back and his length pushing into the flesh of your ass.

“Where do you think you’re going darling,” he murmurs into the shell of your ear. The resurgence of an old nickname is enough to have your insides fluttering. His hand from the door lands comfortably on your waist.

“Away from you, if you can’t be reasonable, too bad.” You shrug and tsk at him but stay put in his arms, it’s not like you have much room for movement anyway. You can hear the cogs turning in his head, but you can feel his erection pressing hard into your body. You wonder which one he will listen to.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He suddenly gets very serious, and you know he wants a serious answer. You take a deep breath, as you inhale you feel your body possibly even further into the sturdiness of his own.

“Yes, I want to learn.” You reply resolutely. Seonghwa takes a deep breath, leaning into your nape, kissing it gingerly, before stroking a hand down your spine. If you hadn't been hanging on to his every word you would have missed it.

"Fine," he grumbled, speaking directly into your skin.

“You’re all mine now, darling.” He growls and you feel it rumbling in his chest against your back. Your breath hitches. A moment later his hand grasping the swell of your butt, squeezing the flesh, you let out a squeal only for his hand to come down hard in a slap against your ass. The whine you let out is something pitiful, your core is alight again the pain had only served to fuel the aching in your cunt.

“Seonghwa-“you plead in a high tone, he lets out another running rumbling grunt. His right-hand slides from your waist slowly to the opening of your robe. His touch feels like fire as it travels across your body till he unties the ribbon. As the thin fabric falls open, Seonghwa’s left-hand pushes you to bend forward against the door before moving around to grope at your chest. Your breathing comes in hics. Seemingly at every second Seonghwa discovers a new way of toying with your body, setting it alight.

His hand travels down, between your legs, before strong fingers are cupping your heat. You gasp, as he holds your cunt in his hand, sliding his slim fingers through your folds. Wet noises can be heard even to you.

“Your so wet, look at you acting all big and tough, when you can’t even handle my touch without your cunt getting all drenched.” Seonghwa’s voice ripples through you, every word making you clench just as much as his fingers playing with you. You can’t help but blindly agree, nodding your head in ascent.

“I shouldn’t even be touching you with how demanding your being.” He chides into your ear, his fingers momentarily stopping their assault.

Your head whips around.

“No, no, no!” You beg, your hips bucking into his unmoving palm. Seonghwa grins devilishly down at you.

“What are those words you used earlier? I liked the way they sounded coming from your lips.” He gloated.

“Pretty please?” You pleaded, giving him big wide eyes over your shoulder.

Satisfaction filled his features. Seonghwa pulled you from the door by the waist. Turning you around and pushing you the way back to his desk. Sitting back in his chair he maneuvered you onto your previous spot again, only this time he took hold of your waist and pulled you forward till you practically fell off the edge. He leaned back in his chair and admired your debauched state.

Your robe fell open from your shoulders, your breath was heavily with anticipation, and as he pried your knees open again your glistening pussy was all on display for him.

He groaned at the sight.

You whined again.

“Seonghwa! I said please! Won’t you touch me?” You begged. He stuck you with a hard gaze.

“When did you get so spoiled.” As he spoke, he stood, pushing his chair back and standing between your spread legs. His hand on your knee once again slid down your leg but instead of touching where you oh so desperately wanted him he used it to spread your legs even further and hold them there.

“I suppose that’s my own fault. I took a sweet girl and spoiled her rotten.” He tutted at you, using his free hand to take hold of your chin keeping your eyes on his face as your head so desperately tried to look away in embarrassment.

“How could I not, when you’re so pretty.” He sighed. As though giving into his own musings Seonghwa’s hand slid back down to run against your cunt. The reaction was immediate. Your head has it not been for the steady grip on your jaw would have flung back in ecstasy. As though to make up for lost time one finger found your clit and began rubbing tight little circles into the bundle of nerves. If felt remarkably unfair how quickly he had unraveled you, with so little actual touch.

Seonghwa focused all his attention on your face, keeping your head in place to watch every expression and noise in detail with a satisfied grin. Your clit had grown swollen quickly and every round made your leg twitch against his side. You were already feeling yourself getting extremely hot, like he had lit a fire inside you with your own nerves as kindling.

Seonghwa got to enjoy the sight of you twitching and panting, a bead of sweat forming on your chest.

Seonghwa groaned again. His hand falls away from your core, bringing your simultaneous relief and torture at the lack of touch. His hands fell to cage you down against the desk as he leaned in close. His lips crashed onto yours in an incredibly messy kiss, groaning with every swipe of his tongue past your lips only for it to fall just as suddenly. He stared into your face with what can only be described as reverence.

“I can’t be mean to you even if I want to. Not when your so darling,” He almost sighs the words at you, giving you whiplash from the harshness you saw only moments ago. As the sentence concluded Seonghwa drops to his knees, looking up at you like a starved man. Your legs are still spread wide and that is all the invitation he needs before diving into your cunt.

You don’t even have time to properly moan before your breath is stolen entirely. Seonghwa is lapping at your whole cunt like he hasn’t eaten in days. His long tongue worked it’s way across every inch of slick. Several full stripes across the entirety before spreading your folds and working his way to your still leaking slit.

Your clit, still swollen and sensitive is sending shock after shock up your body every time he brushes against it. Seonghwa claps the bud between his lips and sucks at it with delicious pressure that makes you squeal and reach for his dark hair. Yanking at the roots as he releases the nub with a wet pop.

Allowing himself a moment to breathe he looks up at you. You yourself are completely ruined. Your voice has been lost save for the occasional squeak or whine and it is all you can do to stay sitting up after that.

Seonghwa grins at you “You taste so delicious, darling” he practically giggles at you. You think for a moment you can catch your breath, but Seonghwa doesn’t allow you the relief.

In an instant, his mouth is back on your cunt. With his tongue now prodding your entrance, dipping into it in search of more slick. His tongue is darting in and out sliding quickly inside only for more arousal to fall into his lips. Your hips can’t help but buck in time with his actions.

“Seonghwa,” you whine. He only groans in response. The vibrations travel up inside you, sending you over the edge in ecstasy. Heat pools in your core and travels like waves through your limbs. Your mouth is hung open in an “o” as you helplessly twitch against his still moving mouth.

Seonghwa loved to please, but sometimes he enjoyed it a bit too much. The pleasure pulsing in your core had suddenly turned to burning pain with every brush of his lips.

“Seonghwa! Wait-“you gasped, pulling at his hair. He did not pull away. Speaking his next words directly into your core.

“Just a little more, you’ll love it. Just give me a little more.”

Your body thrashed against his hold; every shot of pain layered with burning pleasure enough to make you whimper.

“Please, please!” Your voice was little more than a gasp, but he heard your over the sopping noises coming from your pussy.

“Almost there darling, you can give me another.” He groans into you.

His mouth is moving much lighter against you than before, yet the sensations are just as hard to deal with, somehow you feel heat building and building even quicker than before. You’re tugging helplessly against your husband’s hair, but when he returns to suck on your clit your orgasm washes over you like a wave. Your arms holding yourself up fail and you let yourself fall back against the cold wooden desk as your body rides along with explosive pleasure.

When you come back to your senses Seonghwa is leaning against your thigh with a satisfied grin. As you slowly pick yourself up you watch as he leans in to press a gentle kiss against your core before pulling away. His face is glistening with your arousal and his hair is in disarray after your grip, but he has never looked so pleased.

Seonghwa grins, his eyes glaze over slightly, his eyes are dark yet glassy as they trail over your messy state, but the goofy grin stays. He leans down to kiss the corner of your lips. You can only give him a questioning look, still panting from your high.

“I know I just put you through quite a bit. But I think after all that I deserve to fuck you as well.” He continues, kissing gently against the other side of your lips. Your eyes are tiered, but you can’t deny, the thought of him filling you up is already enough to have your insides stirring again.

“Will you promise to be gentle with me? Im a bit-” you start, gripping the collar of his shirt.

“Sensitive?" he cuts in, his voice teasing. "Of Course,” He promises, but his grin is starting to look less goofy and more wolfish.

You nod your head in ascent. Seonghwa takes your body and helps you turn around, bending you over the edge of the desk. From this angle you can’t see him, but you can hear the distinct sounds of him undoing his belt.

You feel him smooth a hand down your back like he is petting a cat, calming your tense body. When you feel him prod at your entrance you can’t help but wince, but as he slowly pushes all the way inside you, you can feel your body tingle in excitement at how deep he fills you up.

Your body is practically humming as you arch your back, signaling him to give you a deep thrust. Your body flusters around him as he pushes in and out and you moan each time he fills you up again. Seonghwa finds the perfect pace, he’s fucking you deep, but he’s going at such a speed and is holding your body so tenderly around your waist the pain of overstimulation is nothing but an afterthought.

Each push of his hips pushes you further up on the desk and each time Seonghwa pulls your body back down to meet them. Shooting pleasure runs through you every time he rubs against your walls.

“See? Don’t you see how well you’re doing darling? You’re taking me so well.” Seonghwa coos at you. You murmur ascents, too focused on the way he stretches you out, feeling him pulsing inside you. You’re growing louder with every moan or whimper. You can’t help it, not when he lifts your hips ever so slightly allowing him a better angle to push against your most sensitive spots and thrust even deeper.

“You know if I cum in you this deep I’ll probably get you pregnant.” He groans. These words shock you, but it is nothing compared to how they make you clench around him. Seonghwa lets out his own moan at that.

“Oh? You like that? You like the idea of getting knocked up?” Seonghwa laughs through his panting.

“Yes- “you all but whimper, letting him maneuver your hips exactly how he wants. After this discovery every thrust is delivered with greater force, knocking the wind from you, and shooting more pleasure into your core.

“I think you would look pretty like that-" he starts but his eyes screw shut and he lets out a rumbling groan as his hip meets your's. His hand and gripping your hips so tight, using them as leverage to get just that little bit deeper.

You couldn’t tell who was more affected by his words as you both fell apart at them. Just before you lost yourself to your third orgasm you felt Seonghwa spill his cum inside you only adding to your feeling of fullness. At that, your brain stopped working.

It was the most intense orgasm you could remember, your brain all but mush as your body rode and rode out the waves of white hot pleasure. If your eyes were open, they were not seeing. If your mouth was open, it was making noises too obscene to be remembered.

But when it came to an end you felt your doting husband tying the robe around you again and gently lifting you off the desk. Your arms absently latched around his neck, and he chuckled at your attempt.

As you ascended the stairs and entered your bedroom you whined desperately when he walked straight past your bed.

“Darling, I love you so much, but I will not let you into my fresh sheets this sticky.”

You swatted his chest but to no avail, the dreaded bath before bed. You had not the faintest hope of staying awake.

The next morning you woke up far later than usual. Guessing by the way the sunlight was streaming in through the window, it was probably already around or after noon.

With a groan, you pulled the covers off yourself to get some breakfast. As soon as your feet are planted on the floor and tried to pull yourself to your feet you realize you have an issue.

You are incredibly sore. Seonghwa was already away at work, the trek down the stairs and to the kitchen would be a painful one, as you could feel the slight ache in your muscles restricting you. As you observe yourself in the mirror you see faint shapes of Seonghwa’s palms across your hips. You had half a mind to think ‘Gentle my ass’ but then again last night really had gotten a bit, intense?

Oh. That. You flushed at the thought of the words that had brought you to pieces the previous night. You had never even thought to discuss that before. Did Seonghwa actually want kids? Was that his weird way of telling you? Did you even want kids?

The distinct noise of something in coming from downstairs broke you from this derailed train of thought. And it made your blood run cold. The door to the landing was cracked just enough that you could slip through. You looked around for your phone to call for help only to remember with another pang of terror that you had left it in the kitchen the previous night before visiting your hubsand's office.

With no other choice than to descend the stairs on your wobbly legs, you did so, holding your breath, trying not to make a sound. The trek down was gut wrenching, but nothing like the last corner to the kitchen. As you braced yourself for all kinds of horror you turned into the room only to see! Seonghwa?

“Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me!” You called to him, where he sat peacefully eating. You startled him enough to make him drop his fork but he could not stop himself from chuckling at you.

“What are you even doing here?” You asked, exasperated, and leaning against the archway. Seonghwa looked, his eyes wide and slightly confused as though it were obvious as though it were obvious.

“Eating?”

“No, I mean why are you still at the house" you question. Still reeling from sudden fear to sudden relief. You could still feel your heart in your ribcage pounding away.

“Oh, I have decided to take the day off.” He replies, turning back to his food, his usually sicked back hair falling in his eyes as. You raise a brow at him.

“Taking a day off?” You ask, crossing your arms starting to grow in disbelief. Seonghwa nods, taking another bite.

“In the 2 years we have been married you have never once taken a day off.” You reply.

“First time for everything,” he shoots back cheerfully, finishing the last of his food.

“Do you always wake up this late?” He asks while clearing his plate, giving you a once over. Then a look of realization and a smirk, noticing the way you are leaning heavily against the archway as well as the visible marks on your hips. The tank top was doing little to cover them.

“Or only when I fuck you too good.” He asks, crossing the room, standing at your feet, with that grin resurfacing from last night. You shush him, swatting his chest so slightly that your hand just lands on his shoulder instead, feeling the material of his sweater. He's dressed casual today.

“You are too satisfied with yourself,” you shoot back, smoothing the wrinkles in his rarely-seen sweater. Unlike your husband, you have no real reason to put on clothes every day, so his comment wasn't entirely false. You could sleep till what ever hour you liked most days.

In the earlier days of your marriage, before the dissent from your men began a few months back, you used to fill your days as best you could. Having your husband opened doors and there wasn't anything the city had to offer you could not occupy yourself with, and you'd even made friends with some of the neighbors. But since the dissent, you've been under 'house arrest.' You remember how it drove you mad being cooped up here with no information, like the world's most expensive padded prison.

With the promise from Seonghwa that as soon as the threat was neutralized he would let you roam during his busy days and nights, but until then he would keep you safe and secure in his house, protected by his men, all the time. You wondered at the amount of Ateez's resources going into keeping you safe. You couldn't rationalize it all being worth it.

“Are you going to need me to carry you to the car?” He asks with a grin, leaning down to meet your eye level, breaking you from your thoughts with his dark eyes and barely arched eyebrow.

“Why am I going to the car?”

“I’m teaching you to shoot today.” He states as though this were obvious, straightening back up to his full height.

“Oh wait, so you’re ok with that?” You asked incredulously.

“We made a deal, didn’t we?” He asks with a tilt of the head. You simply stare at him and after a moment you blink.

“Well, I mean, I just thought since you were so against it you were just gonna- “you trailed off. Seonghwa chuckled again.

“You mean I could have bent you over my desk without agreeing to teach you shoot?” he asks in mock surprise, his eyes widening comically and his eyebrow shooting up, for a finishing touch he places his hand cupping his his cheek and lets his mouth hang open in surprise. You only stare in bewilderment and you can help but laugh.

“Go get dressed, I’m not doing this anywhere where you can shoot something I own.”

“Seonghwa are you sure she’s never shot a gun?” Yeosang questions from his place sitting on the hood of his car. His mild voice carried in the empty shipyard you find yourself in.

Another shot rings out and another metal can topples to the ground with a crash. The force of the shot pushes you backward into your husband's chest. Despite his steady grip on you you still stumble forcefully backwards. Seonghwa stabilizes you, then sighs.

“Being a good shot doesn’t matter if you can’t shoot without falling on your ass,” Seonghwa grumbles.

Despite his tone, you are more than pleased with your performance so far. You weren’t a perfect marksman, not by a long shot, but you managed to knock one of the empty cans from the roof of the abandoned cars yards away on only your third attempt. Yeosang had let out a long whistle, but Seonghwa still seemed dispirited.

“I think I’m doing a good job,” you mumble in return, lowering the weapon to point it at the ground. Despite having never shot a gun before today, your father had taught you proper gun safety ever since you were a child. Every person in your life always had one on them even back then, it was better to be safe than sorry.

“If it’s just a problem with the kickback, then the more she uses it the more she will get used to it.” Yeosang reasons. You turn your head to face Seonghwa, his features are set in a frown. When he meets your gaze, his free hand shoots up and takes your jaw to turn your head back down the abandoned ally Seonghwa brought you too.

“Yeosang I would prefer if she didn’t have the chance to get used to it,” Seonghwa sighed in exasperation before leaning into your ear “Go on, take another shot. Try to keep your feet planted.” He instructs quietly in your ear, his breath tickling your ear. You sigh, lifting the firearm. You take a deep breath, trying to root your feet in the ground. You line up the shot and,

Bang. Your arm is flung back and your shoulder pops painfully. You groan, clutching your damaged shoulder with your free hand and lower the weapon. You can practically feel Seonghwa tsking at you.

“At least she did fall over that time.” Yeosang interjects. Seonghwa scoffs at his companion. Taking the handgun from your grip and sliding it into his holster.

“Yeah, instead she let her shoulder take the full force of the shot, that’s not any better.” Seonghwa shoots back. You’re too busy groaning over your arm to bother with their bickering, instead you wander over to the hood and sit next to Yeosang with a huff. Seonghwa watches on as you cradle your shoulder with a sour look on his face.

“How did you get him to agree to this in the first place?” Yeosang mumbles into your ear. You turn your head and watch as Seonghwa moves down the alley to collect the cans, bottles, and other target practices junk. You didn’t often divulge details of your relationship to the other members of Ateez and you couldn’t imagine Seonghwa talking about you to them. You smirked knowingly but said nothing as you watched your husband’s back.

“Did it have something to do with how you’re walking funny.”

Your head whipped to the man at your side. Once again, the members of Ateez were not necessarily privy to all the details of your relationship and honestly, they never had spent enough time around you to be close to you, so Yeosangs comment took you by surprise.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied, feigning casualty. Yeosang, only peered at you looking down at you with a raised brow. He didn’t speak but you felt his disbelief in his stare. The man rolled his eyes, turning his head to watch Seonghwa as he began sauntering back in your direction, target practice in hand. Yeosang was silent for another moment before speaking quietly,

“Seonghwa’s not happy about this, not just teaching you to shoot he hates all of it. He hates the whole damn thing. Marrying you wasn't supposed to cause this many problems." The man's tone was unexpectedly cruel, the final words came out with so much heat it almost came across as antagonized. Like they had personally offended him. You couldn't help but take offense, as they were necessarily directed at you, you weren't the one leading the dissenting group, but you still felt responsible for obvious reasons. Before you had the chance to react to the words just shot in your direction Seonghwa approached, gun holstered, he tossed the cans and bottles into a rusted silver garbage can that lay forgotten on the pier.

Seonghwa stayed lost in thought, staring at the silver can for another moment before turning on his heel to face you both. His face was a mask of nothing, no emotion clouded his features. But you could tell it was a mask just by observing him. The tense roll of his shoulders and soft sigh as he walked up to the car would have been imperceptible to most, all but you. His eyes met the floor as he walked, scanning the ground without really looking, deep in thought. It's so obvious now that you’re looking for it, the weariness in his eyes when he looks up at you with a smile. You wonder how long it’s been there without your notice.

"Are we all done here?"

Silence had always been normal in your home, a peaceful kind of quiet. That night the silence wasn't peaceful; it was heavy and overbearing. When you both made it inside Seonghwa had practically waved you away, like he was dismissing one of his soldiers as he stalked into his study in the deepest corner of the house. You didn't follow him; you were too busy staring at his back as he walked down the hall. The wood floor creaked but from the way his shoulders slumped it could have been his joints. Your mind trailed back to the previous night, where you had crept into his study with him without a care. You scanned the memory, analyzing him for a hint, anything to suggest what specifically is troubling him, but the memory was foggy, your mind had been occupied with your own scheme for the evening.

Seonghwa had long since disappeared from your view, leaving you puzzling in the entry, staring after your husband. You had to pull yourself from your stupor. Shaking off the horrible foreboding feeling you huff and pull your coat from your shoulders. Hanging the coat in the hall closet you make your way to the kitchen. The sun hangs low on the horizon, pleasantly illuminating your kitchen in golden light, but your stomach squirmed. You initially pulled yourself to the kitchen to find something to eat but you found your appetite suddenly gone. Uneasy.

You shiver, the little hairs on the back of your neck standing up. You whip around, half expecting someone to be sitting at the table behind you, but you find nothing. Well not nothing, there's a letter on the table, was that there this morning? You can remember. Your hand is halfway to the envelope before you realize it has no stamp, and no address as well. It doesn't matter, Seonghwa probably just left it on the table this morning. Still, you pick up the envelope, flipping it over you see that it is not sealed, it looks like it never was.

Seonghwa told you that you weren't cautious enough, he reminded you of this fact regularly. You thought that you were plenty cautious, in fact, you had spent the better part of the last few months in a state of paranoia. Normally you would accept Seonghwa's concerns as just care and love, but with his current attitude you can't help but wonder if looking after you is the stressor to your husband you've been looking for, and if he is nearing his wit's end. A dreadful mix of guilt but also anger brews in your stomach. Your old mantra returns like an old friend "I didn't ask for this." You had accepted that, you really had. But you felt both sorry for and angry at Seonghwa for being burdened by you. He didn't have to marry you, he could have not, let you die instead.

It is that thought that drives you to action, you open the envelope the rest of the way, pulling the folded letter from inside. It takes you a moment, but suddenly you're looking at your name. It's printed in large, neat handwriting, beckoning you to read.

With a shiver, you consider the very real possibility that someone broke into your home and placed this on the table for you to find. Even as you think it’s hard to believe, this house is a fortress, the best security systems money can buy are only one of the things protecting it, not to mention constant surveillance and patrols keeping an eye on the whole neighborhood. The neighbors don't know, but they probably live on the safest block in the city.

Still, your fingers tremble as they unfold the paper, carefully opening it to read.

The page is blank, except for a single like on text written in the same large immaculate handwriting.

"Father's Headstone, 5pm, tomorrow"

You almost drop the paper. Someone had broken in, now you know for certain. You moved to alert your husband, but you halted. To tell Seonghwa the house had been broken into would require telling how you knew, but this letter wasn't addressed to him it was addressed to you.

Your brain was scolding you. Asking yourself how stupid you could be, someone had been in your home without Seonghwas knowledge, they could do it again, and next time they could wait till you were home alone and kill you. But once again something stopped you from moving to sound the alarm, hovering in the middle of the kitchen there was a still quiet voice in your head, whispering, working its way into your mind.

'They could have killed you already.'

This simple fact is the only thing keeping you from screaming bloody murder. If they could break in, they'd been watching the house, they knew you'd been away when they broke in, and they likely knew you were alone in the house for most days. If this intruder wanted, you dead you would be.

You wish you didn't know where your doubt in Seonghwa was coming from, but Yeosangs's words had changed you. You had never thought Seonghwa would get tired of protecting you, he had promised you he wouldn't, that conversation on your wedding night. But 'marrying you wasn't supposed to cause this many problems', the sentence made your head spin with its possible implications, especially from Yeosang. He was a man of few words, but when he spoke it was often critically honest, he had also always seemed to be the most level-headed aside from Hongjong and Seonghwa. You had always suspected that's why your husband often chose his company over the others. But he had seemed frustrated when he spoke, it seemed that the burden of keeping you alive was starting to wear on the other inner circle members of Ateez.

Seonghwa spent many hours with the inner circle, and for the first time, you realize Yeosang likely has a much better what's going on in your husband's mind than yours. And even if Seonghwa is kind, and attentive this marriage started as business and the goodness of Seonghwa's heart, but if this marriage is bad for business, then you wonder if Seonghwa will do what is best for Ateez or you.

With resolve you turn, on unsteady feet you make for the living room, with its roaring fire in the fireplace. You storm towards the mantle and throw the letter into the heart of the fire. You watch enraptured as the words on the paper start to burn. You want to watch them fade from existence. But before you have the chance to watch the paper disappear completely you hear a knock on wood.

Your head snaps around, Seonghwa stands in the archway, hand leaning on the column, watching you with his hawk eyes. You try incredibly hard not to look guilty. The heat from the fire dried your eyes when you blink, they water. Your hand comes up to quickly wipe the tears.

You see his eyes dip to the fire, and your eyes snap to where the last corner of the letter is turning to ash. By the time you've returned your eyes to his, Seonghwa is already returning your gaze. Did he see the letter? No, he couldn't have, it was basically ash. Even if he saw it there's no way he could have seen what it said that you knew for sure. But still, you don't think you're imagining his eyes narrow even just a fraction.

"Is everything okay, sweetheart?" Seonghwa asks, but you can tell he's puzzling you out.

You nod your head, feigning a smile, "Of course," Your voice breaks ever so slightly on the last syllable, but you cover it with a small cough.

He looks unconvinced, his plump lips formed into a thin line. The only light in the room is the fire; it cast a shadow on his already angular face making him look almost like a phantom in the low light. But soon he steps fully into the light, and back to normal, all shreds of suspicion are gone from his face. You breathe a small sigh of relief.

"I will be returning to work tomorrow, you call for one of the captains if you need anything," He says the words to you like you don't already know. You school your expression, trying to make yourself look calm.

"I would like to go to the cemetery tomorrow," you say, this time your voice is unnervingly steady. You decided damn all the caution and fear, they could have killed you and didn't, especially when so many in your life would without a second thought. You needed to know who was behind it. When you refocus on Seonghwa, his eyes are startlingly soft, it reminds you of the look he gave you when you first met, the look for a kicked puppy.

You realize he thinks your mourning your family, your lost brother, and your father. It hurts to know that even now when you suspect your presence in his house has become nothing but a problem for him, he is still trying to be attentive, but unfortunately, he came to the wrong conclusion. But on the bright side, you suspect that because of the sensitive topic, he won't ask any more questions, his curiosity is satiated.

"I'll have Wooyoung take you," he replied quietly, as if not to startle you. You want to argue, and find an excuse to go alone, but it would only reignite his suspicion, and he would never allow it anyway. You give him a small smile, playing up the sadness in your eyes.

"I'd like that,"

Wooyoung was less of a problem than you expected. You had spent all day brimming with anxiety, a sick nausea sitting in your stomach, as you waited for the man's arrival. Wooyoung was the loudest of the inner circle of Ateez, at least in your experience, which admittedly is not much. So when the sound of a supped-up engine came screaming down your street and parked on the street in front of your lounge window you could guess who the vehicle belonged to.

Wooyoung could also have a bad attitude from what you could see. You never saw much of him but one of the few times you had seen him, he had jumped to attention at a joke Mingi had made in poor taste, he got as close as possible to the tall man's face, pulling him down the rest of the way by his collar and tore into him, you had never heard such casual use of such vulgar language especially at that volume.

You didn't much feel like accidentally getting into a screaming match with the man. But luckily for you, your worry had been misplaced. Wooyoung had barely said a word to you on the drive, but you saw him glancing at you from the corner of his eye, Seonghwa had probably instructed him to keep an eye on you. But you had been so busy fretting over how you were going to slip away from the man that when Wooyoung killed the ignition in the parking lot of the cemetery and instructed you to come back to the car when you were done, you hadn't even had the time to be anxious over who it was you were supposed to be meeting.

You pushed open the car door without a glance back at the man in the driver’s seat. He stayed put, apparently unwilling or unable to be around someone who will most definitely cry over a dead loved one. You quietly thanked your lucky stars as you pushed open the gate and entered the cemetery. You imagine every entrance and exit of the cemetery is being watched right now, and you hope whoever you’re meeting knows that too.

It was too late to start worrying now over who would be there to meet you. You kept reminding yourself 'If they wanted me dead, I would be' and surprisingly, the thought comforts you. A sentiment only the daughter of a mob boss could feel and understand so intimately. Whoever it is your meeting does not wish for your death, at least not right now.

It is too late to dwell on that last thought. You pause at the foot of a small hill in the cemetery, at the top of it you would find your father's and brothers' graves underneath a shady tree. At the top of the hill, there is a man, you already know this is who you're here to see, staring down at the graves with their hands in their pockets.

You begin to climb the hill. You expect the man to turn to you as you climb as there's no way he missed the sounds of your approach. But the man stays put, looking down at the matching tombstones still shiny and new after only 2 years. As you pace up the grass, the details of the figure become more apparent, and your stomach sinks as you feel you recognize more and more of the man, but from where you cannot place. It isn't until you level out at the top of the hill does it hit you. It shocks you so much you almost fall to the ground, but your brain and body are too unresponsive to fall. It can't be, no, but he's dead.

Clearly not.

He turns his eyes, the same color as yours, bore into you. Your brother stands before you, alive.

"Kai?" His name sounds foreign on your lips, you don't have a reason to say it very often anymore.

"Don't cry, Sunshine," His voice breaks the silence. You hadn't noticed the tears streaming down your face, how could you when your brother has returned to you from death. All you can do is stare and take him all in. As handsome as you remember, though a bit older now. He was a few years your senior, so his age was starting to show a bit in the lines around his eyes. But still, your brother the same, in flesh and blood. Your heart swells at the old nickname from your youth, enough to spur your body into action without input from your brain. You crash forward into your brother's waiting arms and you feel so happy it hurts. You bury your face into his chest and your senses are filled with the familiar sensations, the smell, and the feel of your brother, hugging you just as close.

Your brain had stopped accepting new information for a few moments, just content with the feeling of peace you had not felt in many years. Your brother is here, under your fingers, not just a memory in your mind. You realize he is speaking quietly to you softly whispering the same thing over and over again. "I'm sorry."

You pull away confused, looking up at him with joy and bewilderment.

"What are you apologizing for?" you ask incredulously.

"For doing this to you," You think you understand. He means this world, this life that wasn't supposed to be yours, this burden you were never supposed to bear. You shake your head no, flicking droplets of tears from your eyes.

"It's ok, I've done alright for myself," You reply, though that statement may be up for debate, shooing away his worries. You can't help but marvel that he is standing before you.

"You were dead." You say it, looking up at him in amazement, obviously able to see before you that is not the case, but you were at a loss for words, and you needed answers.

"No, it only looked like I was dead. Dad was found with another dead body in the room with him, the face was unrecognizable in the face," Kai pauses to grimace, "But I guess he looked enough like me from the neck down. I think he was one of the people sent to kill him, but Dad took him down too. The right hand identified the body as me before they ever found me." As he speaks, he trails off, realizing he led you to a question he didn't want to answer.

"Where were you?" You pried, you didn't know if you wanted to know the answer or not honestly, but more than just your own conscious relied on his answer.

"Our father and I got into a fight that night,"

As he spoke, your heart broke for him, because you needed no more explanation. Your dad loved him, but you knew they never quite saw eye to eye, like any other father and son they had disagreements over things, to what extent you did not know. That usually resulted in Kai leaving the house in a huff to kick rocks and blow off steam. From what you saw these fights were not serious, they woke up the next day and would share a pot of coffee at the breakfast table like it was nothing. You can see it in your mind's eye, if they had fought before your father died your brother would no doubt have been implicated, and his habit of disappearing into the night would only make him look more guilty. Most crimes like this would mean nothing in your world, but to kill the boss as a member of the syndicate would be treated like treason.

You both stand in the uncomfortable silence for a few moments. There is one thing in all of this that you cannot find an explanation for. Your gaze lands on your dad's tombstone, subconsciously looking to him for answers.

"Why did you come back now?" You ask, not looking up.

At that Kai gave a long sigh, he knew this topic would rear its head.

"Seonghwa is up to something."

Your head snaps to your brother. Your heart roars to defend your husband from him. And so, you do, glaring at him like when you were kids and fix him with a stern look.

"You don't know him, he’s always up to something.”

Kai returns the gaze in kind, crossing his arms over his chest and adopting the even sterner tone of an older sibling.

"I know his rap sheet and so yes I know him" You see red, huffing and puffing you take a firm step forward to get up to his face.

"So what? You've done just as much Kai, don't pretend you're a saint now." You are uncharacteristically angry. Kai was next in line to lead your organization he had a reputation all his own, and as possibly your husband's only line of defense against your brother you stood your ground. Kai shakes his head,

"This isn't about me; our people have rules and lines we don't cross. Since he married my baby sister, I've been keeping an eye on him and he's been dealing with some very bad business lately, getting involved with the worst kind of people, the kind that doesn't play by our rules, they think their above them."

You shiver almost wanting to cover your ears. Seonghwa never told you too much about work, and most of the time you didn't want to know. What Kai is describing is not the kind you wanted to hear.

"Seonghwa doesn't keep me up to date on business," you say trying to causally hide the shake in your voice. At that Kai scoffs,

"Oh, I'll bet he doesn't," Resentment drips from his voice and it surprises you. Resentment is such a strong emotion, and surprising to see your usually chipper brother dripping with it.

"I've seen it, I've seen what he can be like. I know what he does, that doesn't change anything! It doesn't matter when you-" He cuts you off,

"What when you love someone? You can’t possibly be that naive." His tone is harsh, harsher than you expected. You almost flinch away. Your brother sees your confusion and distaste and schools himself, looking to the floor and taking a deep breath. When he looks up he is kind again.

"Park Seonghwa has seen and done things more barbaric than you can even imagine. Our father sheltered you more than you know." You are once again taken with the desire to defend your husband, tell your brother you know his heart and that is the truest part of him, but his words make you feel small. You knew that your dad had protected you, but you never would have called yourself naive. Unfortunately, you know you cannot deny your brother's claims, the more you thought the wider, vaster, and scarier the world seemed. You can’t even shoot a gun properly yet, Seonghwa doesn't even need a gun to take a life.

"I never trusted him as far as I could throw him" Your brother speaks into the silence.

At that, your eyes snap to him. You had never thought about the fact that Seonghwa and your brother knew each other. You assumed they didn't know each other well, Seonghwa had never mentioned Kai. But your brother's words made it sound otherwise. You had never felt a reason to be truly, awfully, angry with your husband before, but this felt close. Seonghwa is the only person you allow to see you grieve. To think he was withholding moments of your brother's life you'd never known. You imagine them sitting together in a smokey lounge, sipping bourbon and making small talk and thinly veiled threats amongst other young mobsters. You wonder what they spoke about, or even for how long they have known each other. All things Seonghwa had never shared with you.

Remembering the mobsters brought to mind your current predicament. Hunted by your father's lost right-hand Joongki, who is vying to take control. Questions swarm your mind like alarm bells, what did this mean for Kai? Is he in danger? Where is he staying? Is it safe? You take hold of his arms shaking him slightly with your intensity.

"Kai, you have to come with me. I can't explain it all right now, but as soon as people find out you're alive Joongki is going to come after you," you speak quicker than intended. It's Kai's turn to shake his head.

"You don't have to explain anything, I already know." He replies with a smile, "Remember who you're talking to," he says proudly, crossing his arms and pushing out his chest in a silly show, but it still rings true. You can't help but be softened by your brother's attitude, despite the work he did, he himself had always been a mood lifter, nothing could dampen his spirit. But the question still remains,

"How do you know? Most people don't even know he's alive?" as soon as I ask it I realize the irony, Kai notes it too with a head nod and a knowing smirk before continuing,

"I kind of used my presumed death to take a page out of your book sis," He explains with a shy smile, "I called up the police department, Of course, they wanted to arrest me right away for any one of the numerous crimes I've committed."

As he speaks, he leans in slightly as if letting and you two can't help but chuckle at the thought, "But since I had been already pronounced dead, I offered them a unique opportunity." He explains waging a finger at you, "I work with them as an undercover, to bring down other gangs. Nobody too close to home obviously, nowhere they'd recognize me. Nobody knows organized crime quite like a crime lord, and they needed the help." As he concludes he offers a small bow, as if he just performed a monologue or a memorized speech. You can't help but slowly applaud him while shaking your head at his theatrics.

You take the time to piece together the information he's given you and try to work it into your understanding. It makes sense that the cops would know Jiyong was back in town, there were enough officers on mobsters' payrolls to keep them somewhat well informed. Hell, Hongjoong might have told the police himself. And you suppose you could see how your brother's knowledge and skillset might set him up wonderfully for a life dismantling the one he grew up in. You look up at him and try not to cry for joy, because you could not have wished for a better future for your brother, even if he's meddling where he's not wanted. Since that day two years ago it had only been Seonghwa, you feel happiness proportional to the doubling of the size of your family.

In the distance, you heard the sound of a supped-up engine revving to life. You suppose that's Wooyoung subtly trying to encourage you to wrap it up. You check your watch, 6:15. You look around yourself, the sun is nearly setting, it's nearing fall for the sun to set so early. The air chill sets in carried by a breeze, which shakes the leaves. So, 3 years. You've nearly made it to your 3-year wedding anniversary.

"I need to go now Kai, Seonghwa will be expecting me home soon." You speak. Kai scowls, you can tell he doesn't like that idea, but you don't care. You're not just going to walk away from Seonghwa. You could never. You hug your brother for as long as time allows, instructing him to wait in the cemetery until the Ateez men leave.

You hurry back to the car, rubbing your eyes to make it look like you are crying. Despite this, you could not stop the smile from creeping onto your lips. In the car, Wooyoung still glances in your direction every so often, but you can see an extra layer of curiosity in his glances. He expected you to be inconsolable, instead, you are practically grinning ear to ear.

You tread softly on the hardwood in your hallway. Once again the big townhome is empty except for you, a condition you've grown used to. The moment you push open the white double doors to the master bedroom you shed your coat to the floor and exhale in comfort. You kick off your shoes, feeling the plush carpet beneath your feet as you pad to the connected master bathroom. As you walk your strip articles of clothing, eager to get into a warm bath as quickly as possible. You've made a mess on the floor that Seonghwa won't appreciate, but at the moment you don't care.

It could be hours before he gets home, even days if the situation calls for it. You knew better than to ask for more of his time, if you wanted to reap the benefits of being a gangster's wife like expensive soaks and bath bombs you had to be ok with the time away. It was the same with your father. Of course, when your father died you weren’t thinking about the pretty dresses he bought you, you were thinking about the little time you had with him.

With that sour thought, you climbed into the bath, letting the hot water and steam ease your body into relaxation. You were happy now, with no room for anxious thoughts. Your brother is back and alive, what more could you hope for? You should be elated and nothing else. You close your eyes and try to force calm into your thoughts. But you can't, you’re still upset with Seonghwa, but the thought of him dead makes your skin crawl. Your body reacts more physically to the thought than you anticipated, and shivers go down your spine.

Whatever Kai's issue with Seonghwa is needs to be resolved soon if he's going to return to your life, and you want him too badly. Most people never get the chance to see their dead loved ones again, and you will do anything in your power to keep him this time. But you can't tell Seonghwa, that much is obvious. You're already burdening him; you can't overfill his plate.

You sink lower into the bath, submerging yourself in the water trying to drown out the overbearing thoughts. You stay there, lying flat on your back under the bubbles for as long as your lungs let you your eyes are screwed shut to avoid any soap getting into your eyes. you breach the surface when you run out of air, pushing your soaked hair back and rubbing your eyes. When you open them Seonghwa stands at the foot of the porcelain tub, looking down at you in his crisp unbuttoned navy suit jacket and pressed trousers. His hands are shoved into the pockets of the slacks, his face a marble statue of unreadable stone.

'Wooyoung brought you to the cemetery today." It doesn't sound like a question, so you don't answer it like one. You know what the pause means, he is thinking over his words, choosing the best to fit his purpose. You search his eyes trying to find what it is he's seeing in you, but you can't, he really is carved from stone.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

His choice of words absolutely throws you. You have to catch your mouth from dropping open like a fish. For a second you think he knows, there's no way he chose those words accidentally. But it is that same though that wrangles your reaction and your racing heart before either can reveal you. Seonghwa is practiced at getting people to reveal more than they intend to. You know how effective an open-ended question can be, so many people talk themselves into traps. You are his wife, he can read you but you can also read him, you are on an equal footing in this.

"Yes, I think I did," you say the words with an earnest smile, knowing that the words are true. You did now know what you were looking for when you walked in but you are glad you were brave enough to look.

If Seonghwa did not expect such an honest reaction from you he did not show it.

"I'm glad to hear it," He replies, matching the sincerity in your tone. Yours was fake, it’s possible his is as well.

You watch carefully as he walks around the side of the tub, his expensive leather shoes clacking on the marble floors. From near the cupboard, he pulls a small stepstool, setting it on the floor beside the tub. Seonghwa pulled his suit jacket from his shoulders with a huff, undoing the cuffs of his freshly ironed Oxford shirt, and rolled the sleeves past his elbows. How he can manage a day doing his job and still look so pristine at the end of the day was a marvel to you. When he is done, he sits on the stool facing you.

You raise an eyebrow at him, and your hand slips up from the water to rest on the side of the tub in front of him. Seonghwa's fingers find yours, he runs his dry hand across yours and slowly up your arm and goosebumps follow in its wake. You let yourself enjoy the touch because your heart still hums happily when he does. At your shoulder, he brushes wet hair from your neck before taking your chin lightly in his hand.

You think he's going to kiss you. Maybe that's why it almost works.

"What was on that piece of paper?" He asks the question casually, but you know it is anything but. You don't let yourself be startled by him mentioning the letter. This was another mask, you could see it clearly since you'd started paying attention. He was acting, acting like your husband, when right now he wasn't. Right now, he is the underboss of Ateez. This is an integration tactic. You feel just the tiniest bit of your heartbreak at the realization that for the first time since your wedding day, you and Seonghwa were not a single unit or a united front, right now you're playing against each other, and it made you sick.

Luckily for you, you don't have to lie to conceal the truth, it will mean a very different thing to him than you.

"It was a note, from my brother." You reply quietly, almost somber. That was by design, this is your mask, mourning. You can see a flash of guilt in his eyes, and you know your trick worked. His hand dropped to hang limping over the side of the tub.

Over the course of the past two days, you had accidentally and on purpose spun a pretty lie to your husband. From his perspective, all he saw was his wife finding an old note from her dead brother and reawakening her grief. Although it's clear he has his suspicions. You suddenly feel very proud of yourself for beating Seonghwa in this battle of wits, as you can't always do it.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he says and you know he means it but you shake your head at him.

"Don't be, it's a good thing" You reply, meaning it just as much.

You spend the next week anxiously waiting to hear from your brother. You hope he will reach out to you, to give you both more chances to talk and explain things to each other, but it has been radio silence. On Friday the nauseating anxiety came back even stronger. You dreaded the worst, that Joongki had found Kai and that your brother was already dead again. The thought makes you ache.

But you don't have to suffer through much more. The next Monday you received another note calling you deep into the city at a hidden speakeasy for your next rendezvous with your brother.

Seonghwa had been tough to crack to let that one slide. You had wanted to get him to agree with as little details as possible, for the sake of your privacy. But that hadn't worked out as well as you planned. You couldn't agree to let any of the Ateez members go with you, and for that, you had used the excuse of an old girlfriend from college wanting to catch up as if any of them knew how to contact you anymore. An Ateez boy would scare her, and Seonghwa could see that. The problem came when Seonghwa pressed for details on the location. If you denied him, he'd become more suspicious. You thought it best to just tell him and hope the path of least resistance allows you to slip through.

Your plan worked but not perfectly. on the day of he pressed the keys of his sleek black car into your palm and told you to drive safe. You knew that car had an advanced GPS that he could track through Ateez's security system, he would know if you veered off course. You had no intention of doing any such thing. You just hoped as you arrived that was all the precautions he'd taken.

You had gone into that meeting with a plan. A strong desire to straighten things out between the two men in your life, but the opportunity had never presented itself. Kai somehow with his disarming jokes and warm smiles seamlessly led the conversation wherever he wanted. Where he wanted was memory lane. All evening you drank and talked about your life as kids, it had been a long time since you’d laughed with anyone and it felt nice so you let it happen.

It's then that he asks about Seonghwa after you've reminisced and enjoyed yourself. You are thankful for the distraction, but now it is hard to focus on much of anything much less the complex relationship between you and our husband. You're both slurring your words as he emotionally asks you questions about your relationship.

It’s typical things a brother would say

"Sss- Sunshinee, you gotta tell me!" Kai asks, clasping an arm to your shoulder and looking at you with hard eyes.

"Does he treat you well?"

The response was hard, hard to say, and hard to remember. It was also getting hard to remember the number of drinks you've had. Your head feels heavy as it starts to droop to the side. The next question was easy, even in your current state,

"Does he protect you?"

You had replied with a resounding yes, nodding your head at him with certainty, though the motion made your eyes lose focus and you had to work to regain it. You wowed Kai with the tale of your shooting lessons and how Seonghwa had been against you even holding a weapon.

At that information, Kai had pulled his own gun from his belt and smashed it on the table. You jumped in your seat turning to him with annoyance about to chew him out for scaring you, but he had the words out first.

"I want you to take this,"

You had shook your head no, and swatted weakly at him as he pushed the metal into your grasp. You didn't want it. you didn't ask for the gun why is he pushing it in your hand? You make a distressed noise, some heads turn to look in your direction and you curse, slipping the weapon into your purse. Even when drunk you try hard to keep control of your wit and pay attention to your surroundings but you know that today you forgot that. Your eyes scan the room and even drunk you know your mistake. Your stomach drops enough to make your head slump forward in shame.

"Kai you need to leave," You say, tapping at him trying to draw attention to the tall man making his way across the lounge to your table. Kai, though he was drunk as a sunk only seconds before gets to his feet with surprising agility. Your last drink of alcohol hits you and you feel it drain any chance of you standing up to follow.

"I'll see you, tomorrow sis, I’ll come find you,"

You hear the words and smile at the knowledge you will not have to wait another week to see him. A shadow falls over your table, blocking out the light from one of the dim chandeliers. You're not afraid, it's only Yunho and Jongho. The two, despite being the muscle of the inner circle had always seemed the gentlest to you. Perhaps that is why you let them pull you from the booth and toward the door. You are not in mortal danger with these two, so your brain floats back to thoughtlessness.

As your bodyguards walks you to your husband's car, they are careful not to touch you as you slump down into the passenger seat with a huff and a drunken babble. Yunho gingerly buckles you in place, before closing the door. Your head spins as you lean into the seat, happy to find it already reclined to your preferred position. You get comfortable in the darkness. You know that inevitably when you get out of the car, they will be depositing you back with Seonghwa, along with the information that it was not a girl you were there to see. Faintly you wonder if the two happened to be there tonight or if Seonghwa had sent them to spy on you.

When you get home, the awaiting conversation will be unpleasant.

Yunho slides into the driver's seat. You notice him open your purse. If Yunho knows you're not supposed to have the gun concealed in the small bag he says nothing, finding the keys he pushes them into the ignition and brings the car to life.

On the drive back your head tilts, leaning on the cool glass of the window. You don't speak, your head is still spinning, and it isn't Yunho you're going to need to explain yourself too. You try to block out the dread building in you, and the alcohol makes it easier to forget your worries. Soon, you're asleep.

Distantly you remember being woken up by the car coming to a stop in front of your home, and if you really try to remember, images of your husband’s face as he laid you down on your bed also swirled in your thoughts.

You stir in bed, eyes still closed. Distantly you trace your hand across the silk sheet, petting the soft material. When you lift your head it pounds, the alcohol leaving your system. You hiss through your teeth at the pain. You open your eyes and look at the window, it's still dark outside. Your eyes flick to the clock. 3:32 am. You groan, and roll over, intending on going back to sleep, but when you automatically reach for Seonghwa's body lying next to you, you realize he's not there. And then you remember the events of the night that led you to this point.

You push yourself from the bed resolutely and your bare feet plant themselves on the carpet floor. It would be so easy to go back to sleep and let this be a problem for the morning, but you have to at least know if Seonghwa is in the house, or if what Yunho told him was enough for him to disappear into the night.

It doesn't take long for you to find him, as the only light in the house is coming from beneath his office door. He probably heard you descend the creaky wooden stairs, but he doesn't look up when you push the door to his office open. His broad back is to you when you enter, facing out the window into the dark night of the city around us. There's a fancy glass bottle of amber liquid on his desk, and a glass in his hand. Seonghwa wasn't a drunk, he didn't have the liberty to not be in his right mind most of the time. But he's been drinking tonight, at least since you've been asleep.

He doesn't turn as you cross to the leather sofa and sit down, your feet curling under you as you sit, making yourself small in his office, as if that would lessen the anger bubbling under the surface of his skin. He's angry, that's for certain, even just from looking at his back you can see the stiffness and rigidity, the tension in his muscles.

You watch as he raises the glass to his lips, taking a last drag to clear the glass. He still hasn’t turned.

"Where'd you get the gun, Sweetheart?

The nickname carries none of the usual affection.

Of course, you can't answer him. You couldn't betray your brother’s trust. You only just got him back; you will keep his secret going for his own protection. But it's only now that you realize what that may cost you. The truth is that you feel guilty, guilty for what happened to him. Maybe if you had been stronger your father would have involved you more in the business, you could have helped him and maybe stopped the whole misunderstanding from happening. It felt like you betrayed your brother by giving up on him so easily, just believing he was dead without question. You can’t see how this will play out, you don’t know how to reconcile your love for your husband with your need to protect your brother as the two were at complete odds.

When you don't say anything Seonghwa turns around. His face, which could be so soft and inviting, was all hard lines and sharp angles. The look he planted on you was piercing, suspicious, and calculating. He was watching you like he watches his business associates, analyzing your every move. It fills you with contempt to be looked at like this by him. Like one of his enemies. It’s true you’re deceiving him, but never would you betray him and it offends you that he seems to think you’re capable of that. It only makes you more defensive.

"Who gave you the damn gun." Seonghwa's voice cuts you like a knife, but you say nothing, your gaze dropping to the floor. You feel your lip tremble and you curse yourself for already feeling close to tears. There's no way to make him understand, you have no answer for him, not one that's yours to give. Seonghwa rounds the desk in a flash, moments later he's standing in front of you, arms crossed, eyes laced with venom, and a snarl on his lips.

"Who the fuck is he then, this man that's been writing you letters you feel the need to burn. He's getting you to sneak out, he's getting you drunk. What else has he been getting you to do?"

At that your gaze snaps up, your eyes just as fiery as his. Logically, you know how this must look to him, but you feel scorned by the very notion. Did he not remember that all you ever wanted from him was a happy marriage, and he had given you that. So how could he not trust that you meant it when you needed nothing else?

"What are you accusing me of Seonghwa?" You ask and your tone is icy. You glared up at him to challenge him, daring him to say it. After your 3 years together, through every obstacle that could have broken you apart, you both stood firm. How could he think so low of you?

"I think you know," He growls, the answer coming from deep in his chest. His eyes darken, and for a second you wonder if you should be afraid of him right now. But you not, you’re enraged.

"I want to hear you say it," You spit back. Would he be able to say it to you? Admit out loud what his conclusion suspicions came to? You think about how worried you had been to be a burden on him, and you feel that your suspicions have been proven correct. Maybe this was just a way out for him, to rid himself of the burden for caring for you. If that is true, you knew your resolution to keep Kai a secret from him is the right one, you needed a support system outside of this marriage if you could not rely on Seonghwa anynmore.

"You asked me to learn to use a gun." He starts, leaning over you with a leer, "Ever since then I've been able to tell you're keeping something from me. And now Yunho tells me he found you cuddled up next to some guy who ran off the second Yunho got close. And apparently, that man gave you this gun." As he speaks, he pulls the same weapon from his holster and slams it down on the coffee table. You jump at the noise, unable to stop it, but Seonghwa carries on.

"So my question for you, Sweetheart, is why the man you've been sneaking around with gave you it, did he tell you to kill me? and then you two could run away together?" It's not your husband speaking to you, its a hardened criminal, a man who has been taught by this world to suspect everyone and expect the worst. You feel your heart breaking because you never thought that that included you. Obviously, you were wrong.

The most frustrating part is that with the information Seonghwa has, it would not have been a hard conclusion to come to for someone who has reason to distrust. But he was supposed to trust you. In fact, you wanted to scream in his face, how could you even have the opportunity to cheat on him when you've been on house arrest for months? But that's not what you say.

"Do you really think I'm capable of that?"

You can tell your words take him aback, his hard facade dropping for just a second when he processes your words. He's remembering, who you are, the girl he married, sitting on the leather sofa in your father's office looking as small and weak as you do right now. She would not be capable of doing what he's accusing you of. She is you, and although a lot has changed, does he really think you could change that much?

You can see him following that same thought process, his eyes glazing over as he thinks. But unfortunately, he's been in this world longer than he's been married to you, and it's clear which side of him is winning in his mind, underboss over husband. And his suspicions are not so easily forgotten.

"Out."

Seonghwa grits his teeth as he speaks, holding back more than he says. His eyes swim with emotion, more now than ever before.

"Excuse me?" You ask incredulously after processing his command. It was your turn to be taken aback.

"I said, get out."

Seonghwa had never spoken to you like this, cold almost uncaring. It was an order, like the ones he gave his men. Only this is out of anger, for fear of what he might say or do to you if you stay. He's turned apathetic, dismissing all of the emotion that was there only moments ago. Now when he looks at you, his eyes hold nothing.

Those words were the straw that broke the camel’s back. You felt your heart in your throat, and you were doing your best to choke back tears without his notice. Seonghwa spun on his heel, pacing back to the behind the desk. Ignoring you to seethe out the window as you stand on shaky feet.

"Ok, then. I'm leaving." You say aloud, trying to keep your voice neutral, despite how much you want to sob.

You know full well that Seongwha only meant to leave his office, as your presumed house arrest was still in place. But when he gave you the command, all you could think about was your brother's old habit, of disappearing into the night to blow off steam. You can't go back to bed, not now when the empty other side would only taunt you even more. You needed to be out of the house, having never quite understood Kai as well as you do at this moment. You go upstairs and change into something nondescript enough to not draw attention on an early morning walk.

You had slipped through a window on the ground floor of your home to leave. You doubt after the argument you just had that Seonghwa would have stopped you if you had just walked right out the front door, but you didn't much feel like risking it.

You walked for a while. The cool morning air does more to ease your heavy heart than you anticipated. The memory of the argument was still a pressing weight on your chest, restricting your breathing with each step, but the beginnings of the sunrise just barely beginning to lighten the sky was a calming influence on your still racing heartbeat.

You had never felt so shaken, hurt, and betrayed. But the morning walk had already made you come to terms with the fact that you had not helped you case much at all. But you didn't know how to make Seonghwa see, without exposing more than you should.

With the streets as quiet as they are, it would have been hard not to notice the sounds of a car turning down the street. You look up at the noise, glancing over your shoulder subconsciously. You are suddenly no longer upset, sad, or even angry. No, how could you be? When all you can feel is cursing hot adrenaline pounding in your ears and ice-cold fear grips your heart.

A van is slowly making its way down the street. It's all black, even the windows and the hubcaps. No logos or phone numbers are displayed on the side, this is no workman's vehicle. It's 4:30 a.m. on a quiet morning on a quiet street, and the van is entirely out of place as there is nothing here for it, except you.

The corner is approaching, your feet away, once you're around it whoever it is will still be close, but they won't be able to see you and that's the best chance you have. Your head strains to not look over your shoulder again, they are moving slowly, and you don't want them to know what you're planning to do. The second you round you start to run, full steam ahead down the sidewalk. By no means the subtlest thing you could do but what other choice do you have? There's no one around, you could reach for your phone but with their van, they would be on you before anyone could even pick up, much less help you. The thought makes you choke back a sob as you run, the idea of calling Seonghwa now, hours after he lectured you begging him to come and save you. Your brain curses your husband, as you clench your teeth, looking over your shoulder at the corner, no van yet, but you must have only seconds. If Seonghwa had not taken the gun your brother gave you you would be able to fight, defend yourself, maybe even get away.

You push those thoughts from your mind, partially because you have no time for them, partially because they are not true to your heart. The thought of Seonghwa appearing now to save you is embarrassing but is also the single greatest desire of your heart. Your eyes scan the road, looking for an alley, fence, or gate, anything that you could slip behind and use for cover as you make your escape. Adrenaline as your senses heightened and you can hear the sound of the van making its approach. Without time or options left, you dive behind some crates outside a small shop, hoping that whoever is in the van will carry on down the street, assuming you slipped away.

Time slows to a crawl. Your heartbeat pounds in your head as you focus on the sound of the van rounding the corner. It rolls along the pavement for about 30 seconds without change, coming nearer and nearer to your hiding spot. Your heart jumps into your throat when you realize you hear the van slowing to a stop, and you flinch aggressively when the sound of car doors swinging open hits your ears. You can feel your hands shaking and you press them into the cool concrete of the pavement trying to keep you from losing composure. Boots smack onto the ground, more than one pair, but you can't tell how many.

You suck in a breath, unable to exhale as the boots being spreading up and down the street.

"Ok, little lady, cute trick, but how bout you come on out" A gruff voice calls. Pure ice runs through your veins but you stay silent. It's quiet for five of your pounding heartbeats.

"I'm losing patience! We will find you so why don't you make it this way! The voice calls out, and pricks of spite seep into the words, you desperately try to place the voice, but you cannot. There is another pause, but then the sounds of shuffling boots.

"Come on little lady, you've got an appointment,"

They were getting closer. Any moment you would be found. And then what? Shot? killed right here on the street like an animal? You’re not far from home, and the thought makes you retch to die so close to safety but your brain swims with even worse images of your body being dumped on your front porch. Or even worse yet, they don't kill you here, they drag you away to do even worse things, things that would make you wish you were dead. Seonghwa would know, he knows these kinds of men and their minds, he would know their intentions. Before you can finish your spiraling the sound of boots just on the other side of the crates makes you freeze, you don't dare even to think for fear of making a noise.

"Kick it over." The voice calls.

What?

Before you have time to think about it something crashes against the pile of crates, sending the pile toppling over onto you. You can't help but scream in fear, revealing your location though they clearly could already tell. A box that had been perched right on top came falling down, the first box to collide with you but not the last. The crate cracks against your skull, just above the eye socket. Pain like you had never felt before sprouted from the spot, but in the next second, it was gone when the back of your head hit the concrete knocking you out.

When you come too, your hands are bound and there is something over your head keeping you blind. The next thing you realize is the pain radiating from your skull, back, and ribs. The crate pile had fallen on all of you, that you remember, but with the way your head spins even in complete darkness, the throbbing beating in your skull keeping all other pain to a dull buzz, you couldn't be sure if your injuries were from the crates or you’re handing after you lost consciousness.

Your knees fell onto cold hard concrete, and you couldn’t help but wince, bruises would already be forming on the bare skin. Without your hand to steady yourself at the rough treatment you fell in a heap on the floor. Only to shriek again when calloused hands grasped the ropes binding your hands together and pulling you upright. The rope stung as its weathered fibers dug into your wrists.

Your head was pounding. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. You had not inhaled since you were thrown to the floor and the lack of oxygen only made your trembling worse. You shuddered a breath, but it did nothing to calm your nerves. The sounds of others moving about the room and the approaching footsteps made your stomach sink lower and lower with every step.

Light flashes in front of your eyes so blinding that you only manage a second before shutting them. You could feel a room full of stares on you, it was all you could do to peek your eyes open enough to see that whatever had been up over your head had been removed, only to be replaced by the figure of a skinny man and the glint of a gun.

It was him, of course, it was. You weren’t an idiot. You couldn’t feel proud of your deduction, not when pain and terror were all you could manage.

He was staring down at you from his full height, a smug look of accomplishment seared onto his features.

“My my, how you’ve grown.”

The words felt like a slap across your face. This man had helped raise you. You had mourned his supposed death, and now he stood over you, shoving that back in your face.

You were still terrified. But if you were going to make it out of this alive, you are gonna have to be smart and maybe, just maybe, get angry.

“Joongki”

“So, I heard you got yourself married, and to Park Seonghwa of all people. Now why did you have to go and do that. If you had stayed gone you could have lived.”

His words burned in your mind. Cold-blooded rage filled you. Your family died, you were at your absolute lowest, you had no fucking choice but to come back. If he hadn’t disappeared in the first place you would have been happy to hand over that responsibility to him. And now he’s blaming it all on you.

“That was smart of you. Handing off responsibility to someone who knows what they are doing. I’m proud of you, kiddo.” Joongki says with a sinister smile.

Another log on the flame. You still shook, your body still aches, but you willed yourself to speak with an even tone.

“Why am I still alive Joongki?”

At that he cracked into a full grin.

“Scared? Don’t worry darling, you won’t be for much longer." He asks with a chortle.

“I'm not scared” You shoot back, only barely concealing your seething. He stares at you in mild disbelief and amusement for a moment before speaking.

“And why is that?”

“Because when my husband gets here and I’m not alive? He’s going to do more than kill you,” you say the words, but your voice shakes. You are afraid, more afraid than you have ever been. And maybe, slightly, horrifyingly, you realize you've begun to doubt Seonghwa's need for you. You've started keeping secrets from each other, both of you, and Yeosong's words sear into your memory like a tattoo. 'Marrying you wasn't supposed to cause this many problems.'

“Is that what you think, do tell me more.” he replies.

“You haven’t been around in a while Jiyoung, you haven’t seen them at their worst.” your voice trembles, but it is your rage keeping you talking, overpowering the fear.

"And you have?" he asks in disbelief.

But you can't answer, you know you haven't. You know that now that you have been attacked, bound and thrown into the back of a bus. You think of your brother's words on the hill, 'seen and done things more barbaric than your mind can imagine.' You have a feeling you're about to experience some of these things at Joongki’s hand, and you scream at yourself for ever being cocky enough to leave your home unprotected just to prove a point. Well, this is where that has gotten you.

A door behind you didn't know was there crashed open with a bang. And a single pair of light quiet footsteps came through the door. unease entered your stomach and grew with the smirk on !!!! face.

"Why don't you leave us everyone,"

No, no, no, fuck God no. Why did it have to be him? The figure walks around your side, coming to stand at in front of where you kneel on the floor. Your eyes fix to the floor as they brim with tears, your heart breaking all over again as if you could stand to lose him one more time.

"Look at me," The voice of your brother calls, his words had only just been ringing in your mind. It shatters you. Crumbling every last piece of resolve and fight left in you. The past 24 hours have brought you nothing but anger and heartache and the single reprieve from all of it has been the single, glorious, monumental idea that your brother was alive, and every wrong choice for you had been the right one for him.

And now you're here, tied up at his feet, broken, beaten, and bruised. You don't look up. You can't meet his eye. You hear him sigh, you hear the scrape of metal, and see the legs of the chair he sets up before taking a seat but you still don't look at his face. You stay like that for a few moments, cowering at the foot of your brother while he holds you captive.

"Up here Sunshine." he goads.

The nickname makes your skin crawl. That name was for family, no family would do this to you. You say nothing allowing your mind to spiral into despair. This latest blow has taken all the fight from you, all the anger from moments ago. Slowly you raise your head to meet his gaze, if he's expecting anything more from you than the blank stare you give he will be sorely disappointed, emoting is the last thing you can do. Your brother smirks down at you, revealing more and more as the second passes just how satisfied he is with himself.

"I thought you were a cop." Your voice is hoarse and dry in both timbre and tone, who knows how long it's been since you've drank water. Its not a question, but he knows what it means. I need answers. The story he told you clearly was a lie, how much you don't know. Half of you doesn't even care, at this point what difference does it make, he betrayed you all the same.

"You want to hear how it actually went down?" He's almost giddy asking, eager to expand upon your misery. You stay silent, there are no words to fit your situation, the anger, the despair, the hopelessness, but most of all the betrayal paralyzes you, keeping you from doing anything but listening. He waits only for a moment, but once it's clear he will get nothing from you he carries on without another beat.

"Dear old dad and I got into a bit of an argument that night," he began, the wild grin on his face showed you he would be only to delighted to explain it to you, his master plan.

"I had been losing big at the Ateez casinos. I admit I lost a lot, but that fat old man had all the money in the world, so imagine my fucking surprise when I came to him, asking for a small loan to pay off the guys over there, and he tells me to get lost." Your mind is swarming with new information, you can’t even begin to consider Ateez's involvement with this story when your brother is talking like a monster. But he does not stop, not waiting for you to follow along.

"He was spouting some shit about how it would teach me responsibility to find my own money. Like responsibility makes any damn difference to us," Your brother grumbles the last part, and it gives you flashbacks to times when your brother would pout over you not sharing snacks and it adds fuel to the fire eating you up from the inside.

"I killed Dad,"

The words ring in your ears like a gunshot, and they are as good as. Your body crumples and you can't stop the sob from ripping through your chest. They have mortally wounded you. Betrayal of the deepest kind. You cried for this man, you mourned him with your whole being, you thrust yourself into this life to protect his and your father's memory and this is the thanks you receive. Hot wet tears pour from your eyes.

"I guess it wasn't necessary, but you weren't there, you don't know. I didn't wanna stop once it started." You retch, your disgust and sorrow so deep that your body is trying to rid itself of whatever is making it feel this way, but your stomach is empty after so little meals, and it only causes you more pain. No one had ever bothered to tell you how your family had died, you knew that meant violently, you knew they had been killed, all of this you could never imagine.

"Then came the hard part, some of Dad's advisors knew he was going to meet me, and I couldn't have anyone know I killed him, otherwise they'd never let me in charge, so for the time being I had to be dead too. Luckily knew just the guy." Your brother almost giggled at the mention of Jiyong, knowing that had to have been another nasty shock for me.

"It was hard work finding a guy that looked enough like me, wasn't hard to mess with his face enough once we'd killed him to make him identifiable as me, especially as the boy next to Dad." Your Brother carried on, recounting his horrible tale to you, leaving you as broken mentally as his men had left you physically.

"And all we had to do was wait, wait for the timing to be just right, wait for your big moment of weakness to swoop down and reclaim my throne," your brother sat up straighter, with his chin held high. Then as if snapping himself from his own daydream he looks down on you with more vile hatred than you have ever seen before.

"But then you had to go and get married to Park fucking Seonghwa, and hand over my entire kingdom!" the more your brother spoke the more unhinged his mind became. His madness was consuming him, and at the moment all of that anger was directed down onto you. He stands, so quickly it topples the metal chair, and you flinch, curling in on yourself, no longer willing to engage with this stranger you thought you knew. So, what if he killed you for it, you felt dead already.

Theirs an incredibly loud crash, forcing your eyes open, and when you look at the man you realize he flung the chair into the stone wall and was panting heavily while facing it. He whipped around back to you as if all the anger was expelled from his body in that one action.

"Now you understand Sis, there are no hard feelings really, but you are the one who had to go and ruin things by getting married, but luckily for you, we can turn this into a happy accident."

"What is it you want from me" you sob in a whisper, unable to look at the man anymore. Was the brother you knew ever real?

"Before our best hope was regaining our old territory, but since my baby sister is such a charmer, I now have the perfect bargaining chip over Ateez, it's about time someone taught those boys some responsibility" Your brother's voice twisted with sick delight. Your body starts before your brain, lurching you off the ground. Seonghwa.

You had betrayed him and you had done it on purpose. You could never have imagined that the letter would lead to this. You curse yourself, hate yourself even more than you hate the man in front of you. All of this, the whole great stinking mess, every problem started with you and your ineptitude. And now your brother was going to make Seonghwa and the rest of Ateez pay for it.

You no longer know what or how to think.

You don’t notice him leaving, you’re to numb. Even the aches and pains in your body are dull in comparison to the vast emptiness you feel inside. You’re glad the man is gone and out of your sight but some part of you perhaps the little girl who loved her big brother very much, misses him and wishes he was here to pull you up off the floor and protect you from any more harm. But that brother doesn’t exist anymore, you've already mourned him when he "died" The man who came back is a cruel stranger.

You don't know how long you lay there feeling empty, or when the brutes drag your unresponsive body to a small room and lock the door. Your mind barely recognizes the cramped space, but as you gaze around the dark space you realize it's a small supply closet, though whatever was once stored here is gone. You don’t have the energy to sit up, so your body curls in, conserving its body heat and you let your mind still feel too shocked to concentrate on any one thought. You remember faintly as you succumb to exhaustion, your brother embracing you on the hill in the cemetery saying, "I'm sorry for doing this to you," Before you have time to ponder it, you've fallen into a restless sleep.

When you wake you are lying flat on your back. You don't know how long you've been asleep but from the way your head still pounds it was certainly not long enough. But you don't feel awful. Your eyes crack open and you're staring at a blank ceiling, but it's bright not the dark room you collapsed in. Turning your head, you see paper curtains surrounding where you lay, an IV bag hangs from its rack to your right. You follow the thin tube as it trails through the air and into your arm. You want to be alarmed, to stand up and rip the tube from your skin and make your escape, but you're still so exhausted. You take notice of your body for the first time, covered in a blanket, you flex your fingers and toes. You notice that some of the pain is gone. The surface scratches and bumps that you got in your capture have been bandaged, and you have a feeling the IV is pumping you full of fluids to aid the dehydration that is surely one of the causes of the pounding in your head.

Your head turns when a small gasp breaks the silence. There's a woman, moving aside one of the curtains to look in on you. It’s obvious.

whoever this woman is it's obvious she's not a doctor, but she comes back she's holding a small plastic cup with 2 pills jostling against the sides you can tell she was the one treating you.

"What is that"

"Painkillers She can tell you don't trust her, by the suspicious look you give the plastic cup.

"Fine then, don't take them. makes no difference to me. Your brother put you in here for me to keep you alive, nothing more." She's putting on a brave front in front of you, but her eyes give her away. Unease pours from them, along with concern, but she doesn't let herself display either as she gets up and walks away, taking the pills with her. You can see her story clear as day. She was medically trained, maybe even used to be a doctor, but now she's here, working for your brother. She once had a dream to help people, and now she's keeping prisoners and gang members alive when they can't go to a hospital. It reminded you of yourself, and you couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman.

Guys come for you and push you into the same room from before and tie you to a metal chair at a metal table. Kai is already there, he's smiling.

"This is gonna be fun," He muses, eyes flashing wildly. He looks almost giddy, putting a hand out flat motioning for something. One of the men in the room walks forward and drops an old cell phone into his palm. Clearly, the number had already been dialed because all Kai did was press dial before it started ringing.

The dial tone rings intermittently, blaring in the silence of the room. You don't speak, you just stare right into your brother's eyes without blinking. In your current state, the best form of defiance you can give him is not being afraid, even though you have every reason to be. You are done feeling afraid, after years of paranoia, it all came true. The thoughts that kept you up at night, being hunted and attacked and taken, inevitably to be killed. You're living it now; fear will do you no good.

"Seonghwa, long time no speak buddy," Kai speaks into the microphone, his tone is coy and teasing. He dropped the phone onto the metal table after clicking it to speaker. It creates a loud clash of banging sounds. The metallic screech reverberates around the room. Despite how long it takes to quiet Seonghwa is silent for several seconds more.

"Kai," Your husband's voice replies flatly into the receiver. You're shocked to hear that Seonghwa recognizes your brother from voice alone. Kai doesn't seem surprised; in fact he cracks a grin.

"You'll never guess who I have here," Kai says in a singsong.

"Oh, I think I can. Put her on the phone." Seonghwa's voice is collected and calm, with not a hint of worry or concern in his tone. You remember that when you last spoke, he thought you were cheating on him. You hope that he figures it out and realizes who could be the only person you could ever trust as much as him is your own flesh and blood. Of course, now you know that was a mistake, Kai manipulated you to get you to lose faith in your husband, and once you trusted him, you listened to him and let him lead you right out from Ateez's watchful eye.

Kai motions for you to speak. You open your mouth on impulse, ready to call out to Seonghwa but your voice catches, words evading you. The quiet of the room is suffocating and it is on you to break it. With a great amount of effort and a very deep breath, you say the only thing you can manage.

"I'm here," your voice is still rough, and barely above a whisper, but it cuts through the air like a hot knife, breaking and building the tension at the same time. The only sound from the phone is an exhale.

"There you go Buddy, she’s alive, We can get right to our chat," Kai says, smirking like he won a prize. He leans back in his chair with a relaxed expression.

"Keep the chat to yourself, if I wanted to talk to a smug prick, I'd have called you myself."

In the absence of fear, you feel resentment. How dare Seonghwa sit there and make fucking wisecracking remarks while you're tied to fucking chair. You hate it, you hate hearing them talk, being reminded of what your husband kept from you. You asked him to spare you the gory details, not keep all of this from you just for you to find out here. Perhaps if he hadn't you would have known not to trust this man you could have turned and run the second you saw him on the hill, and Wooyoung was right there, surely if Seonghwa had met him the scrappiest member of Ateez likely had as well, he could have killed him then.

"Be careful Seonghwa, that almost sounded like a joke, you wouldn't want to make me start liking you now" But you know that's not possible even without knowing their past. You grimace, if your arm were free, you'd smack him like you did when you were kids.

"Trust me that wasn't my intention" Your husband shoots back, deadpan. You want to trust that Seonghwa knows that he's doing as he speaks. Your brother's tone is chipper, but you see the click of his jaw as he grits his teeth. Kai grins, but with his teeth still clenched he looks like he's snarling.

"Still holding that old grudge i see," Kai sneers into the phone, making it obvious he does as well. You hear Seonghwa sigh dismissively over the phone.

"You are wasting both of our time Kai, give your demands. Unless you didn't think that far ahead." Seonghwa drawls the words, he almost sounds bored. You hope that this is some kind of play because Kai's face lights with fury. You are starting to see the buttons Seonghwa is pushing, he's making the man across from you look stupid. You think that much is intentional, but he can't see Kai's face or the way it screws up in a fit of rage for a second and holds there. The seconds tick on and Kai doesn't move. With a jolt your brother slams a palm onto the metal table, sending a shock through you at the sound. Everyone in the room flinches, but Kai carries on.

"You've been making some especially shady move lately on behalf of Ateez isn't that right Seonghwa?" He asks, speaking slower, trying to force his causal tone into his voice, when something much darker bubbles beneath the surface. He doesn't wait for an answer,

"No of course not right? You and the rest of Ateez would never go breaking the rules right? Getting others involved, those not 'in the business'?" He asks the questions obviously knowing the answer so Seonghwa doesn't speak, electing to let Kai reveal how much he knows before talking.

"Those dirty politicians, the makers of the law, accepting bribes from Ateez, the biggest crime syndicate in the country. It's gonna be a headline, that's for sure, if I decide to realize it of course, but for right now while I have something you want," He trails off, looking over at you with a sinister grin, the same one you remember twisted into something evil. "I think I can ask for just about anything and you, between Ateez and the most powerful politicians in the country in your back pocket, have the means to make that happen. Am I right Seonghwa?" Kai concludes, a satisfied expression painting his face.

"What do you want." When Seonghwa speaks the words its not a question, it's a demand. This is the first time you catch a drop of emotion in his voice, he's severe and serious.

"Well, you se Seongwha, after I take back my territory, I want to bring a bit of variety to this business. Because right now, anyone trying to smuggle into the city has to go through one of your shipyards since you boys over at Ateez started paying off the foremen. But us over here? we are a classy bunch, and I think a few legal import licenses issued to my father's old legal front operation would certainly help with the business. And if a few pits of paraphernalia got mixed in? Well, accidents happen."

You can tell Kai is all too pleased with the plan he’s created. In fact, he seems almost eager to show it off to Seonghwa, like he’s trying to prove something.

"Of course, after I'm gonna come after the rest of Ateez. Don't worry I didn't forget about you." He concludes with a sneer. Its silent over the phone. When Seonghwa does speak it's not what you expected.

"Is that all? That's the best idea you could come up with?" He’s deadpan, void of and of his usual melody. If Kai had said it would have been a joke but from him, it sounds like he's scolding your brother.

"Do you want me to kill her?" Kai asks leaning over the phone and gritting his teeth.

"you're not going to kill her while you still need me for something, So I thought your demands would at least be a little more interesting." You want to scream at Seonghwa to shut up because the vein in Kai's forehead looks like its about to pop.

"Seonghwa, buddy, shut up and listen. You have 24 hours to get me those licenses while i leave with the rest of my men still working with you just because you knocked up my sister." Kai seethes over the phone, but hands white knuckling the steel table. He keeps talking, but you can't hear him. Your ears are ringing. 'Knocked up' you're pregnant. Well, how about that, on the list of things you expected to hear today that was not even on it.

Your mind flashes with images of a gurney, the IV bag, and the woman. She knew she did tests to keep you alive, and she found this.

Distantly you hear the sound of the call ending. And some kind of commotion going on across from you. It sounds like Kai is angry about something and is taking it out on the entire room. Who cares, your fucking pregnant.

"Get her back to that fucking room!" Kai screeches, pointing a finger at you then viciously out the door. He's standing now, you don't know when that happened, distantly you wonder if one of the loud sounds you heard was him throwing his chain against the wall again. His particular displays of anger are starting to lose their terror, and you can see why everyone has been so calm in the face of these meltdowns. He's like a spoiled child, and it's irritating rather than intimidating.

You let yourself be carried back to the closet, at this point only wishing to get some more sleep, the feelings and sensations of being awake are too much for you right now. Your thoughts swim with everything wrong in your world right now and the list seems endless. You hope for unconsciousness until you are traded back to your husband or killed. 'They're not going to kill me, yet' you think dully, thinking back to the words you whispered to yourself moments before you sealed your fate. You want to laugh; you didn't know how true those words would become.

It's been hours at least. You've been asleep, then awake, then asleep again, and now your eyes creep open for the second time. Despite having slept twice you still don't know the passage of time, it been impossible to tell from the pitch-black room and your restless sleep. Though your eyes have long since adjusted to low light. If they didn't give you real food soon, you're going to die of that before whatever horror Kai comes up with.

Maybe that means it hasn’t yet been 24 hours since the phone call. Kai had said something about 24 hours, some kind of threat, you hadn't cared to hear the rest of it. You'd find out soon enough. If it hasn't passed yet it must be nearing the deadline.

It felt like minutes later, but you had no way of knowing. When the door finally creaked open and Kai slinked into the room, his face was screwed up in a vile kind of concentration. You had seen his eyes countless times yet never like this, with something so dark in his eyes. He doesn't look happy, there's distaste in his features that you can see. You don't know what he is planning to do, so when he moves across the small space, encroaching in the small personal space you have you instinctively push back and away. You can't do much more than glare at him with all the hate in your heart and try to maintain your composure. Distantly you hear a loud crash echo through whatever building you're in, but Kai doesn't seem to notice.

Kai looms over you, bending at the wait. You wonder how he can even see you in the pitch-black room because he hasn't had time to adjust to the low light like you. But still, he leers over you, as if considering you, almost debating. You wonder if he even realizes that you can read his expression clearly despite the darkness.

"Hey Sunshine," Kai almost whispers into the darkness. The nickname aches. It sounds just like him, it feels like mourning your dead brother all over again even though he stands before you. You want to claw him, rip for nails down his face. But that wouldn't be enough to stop whatever it is he's planning. You don't respond. You don't even know if you could speak now. You've barely used for voice these past hours and you're sure it would only break.

"Silent treatment? You haven't done that since you were a kid." Kai says with a malicious smile, trying to get a reaction from you. You remain unresponsive. Kai lets out a breathy laugh, straightening up.

"Thats fine, stay silent, for as long as you can anyway. I have a feeling that once I'm done here your screaming will be heard down the hall."

He's crossing his arms, pleased with his retort and himself. It's hard to feel threatened when you've been in constant danger for months, but you have a feeling you should be more scared than you are. But you just can't manage that emotion, or any really. You just hope that whatever torture Kai has in store for you will be over quickly, so you can escape back into unconsciousness away from the nightmare you find yourself in. The distant noises seem to be growing louder as they roll down the hall.

Kai reaches behind him, into the waistband of his pants. From there he pulls something large and metal. It takes you a moment to place it, but you realize its bolt cutters, and the blade is sharp. He lifts them up, as if to show them off to you, turning them in his hands. Your stomach twists at the sight and you can't help but pull yourself deeper into the corner. You felt a bit of bile rising from your empty stomach at all the ways the tool can be used to hurt you even more.

"I had hoped Seonghwa would have just complied with my demands before it came to this." He says with a sigh, turning the cutters in his hand.

"I'm not going to enjoy this, and I think your husband knows that. He's always been infuriatingly perceptive; I don't know how you stand it." Kai's voice shakes slightly at the last words. "But if he thought that would be enough to save your fingers, he was wrong, maybe he isn't as perceptive as I thought."

You feel yourself start to shake. Your hands instinctively wring themselves in your lap. Suddenly the bolt cutters seemed much larger, and the blade sharper. The image of the blades cutting through your skin and bone made your skin crawl, and if your stomach had any contents to empty, you would have vomited.

"Or maybe he cares about you less than I thought."

His words drift through your ears. But at the same time, you hear distant noises but not so distant anymore. You heard a constant stream of bangs and voices, for now still far, but close enough to hear them shouting. Your head swivels to the door, of course, it blocks whatever is going on from you view. You imagine Kai's men preparing another attack on Ateez cities, the bangs being a cart of supplies rolling up and down the uneven floor and the voices barking orders. But no, it's too loud to be that.

Kai's arm shoots out, grabbing you by the neck. Instantly your air is gone, and you choke on the breath in your throat. He pulls you up slightly by your neck, forcing you to look at him. Your hands fly to his wrist, pulling and struggling against his hands but they do not budge.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I not entertaining enough for you?" He growls, his eyes alight with sick anger. It's like he can't hear the growing commotion outside the door. He holds you there, depriving you of oxygen with every passing second, his grip hard enough to leave indents on your neck. He waits as if waiting for a response, but you have no air to speak. Your eyes start to water, and your vision begins to blur when he finally releases you. You fall back into your corner and gasp for air.

"I'm done being nice, let’s get this shit over with."

Kai's and shoots out again, this time taking your wrist. He pulls your body from the corner and without your hand to balance yourself you fall in a heap on the floor. You are disoriented and terrified, when your eyes focus Kai is brandishing the bolt cutters, bringing them to your hand. You can't help it now; you start to scream. Your vocal cords feel like they're ripping to shreds as you scream, but you can't stop. You screw your eyes shut, as if being unable to see the cutters will stop them from cutting through your skin.

While you scream, you wait, wait for the unimaginable pain. But then again, you expected it to come by now, where is it? Your eyes crack open, but they are forced closed again by blinding light. Light? How?

Again, you crack your eyes, this time anticipating the light, but after hours in complete darkness, they take a long time to adjust. You feel the grip on your wrist drop. Automatically your body slumps to the floor on your back in relief, but that feeling is only multiplied by thousands a moment later.

"Someone get Seonghwa! I found her and the brother!"

It's at that moment that you can finally see again. And before you stands none other than Wooyoung. Silhouetted against the light from the hallway, a gun raised to Kai's temple. Kai is frozen in what can only be shock. Obviously, he had not predicted this outcome. To think that the noises you heard were the sounds of Ateez storming whatever facility you were kept, faintly your mind wondered how they even found the place.

But your mind can't hold the thought. As soon as your body and mind fully come to terms with the fact you've been saved you no longer want to think, instead you try and catch your breath. Your eyes can't help but stay fixed on Wooyoung at the door, unwilling to look at Kai again. He looks stern, his expression betraying nothing but malice, and maybe disgust. But his eyes are not as fixed on Kai as his gun.

Every few moments his gaze falls to you on the floor. You see him scan your body for injury, assessing your physical condition. What that condition is, even you don't know. You know your body must be battered and bruised, but you've been in pain for so long. You've gone numb to, based on Wooyoung's concerned glances, more bruises than you can count after being dragged and thrown about and beaten while here.

What is taking Seonghwa so long?

As if summoned by your thoughts, with the door open you can hear the sound of feet pounding down the hall at a rapid pace, you know it can only be him. You brace yourself to see him again, and your face twists in both guilt and anger when you remember the last words you said to one another. But as soon as he appears in the doorway all those thoughts leave you.

He's been shot. You can tell from the crimson leaking through his pressed white shirt. With horror, you realize that the bullet must have only just missed his heart, as the blood flows from right above where it sits. You wonder which of the bangs you heard in the commotion caused this. But he stands upright and alert as if there wasn't a gaping wound in his chest.

You expect to feel enraged, even resentful to him. After all, he had promised. He promised that this would never happen, and he had taken away your only chance to defend yourself that night. But you knew you weren't blameless in this either. You both had made so many mistakes that led you here. His eyes were locked onto yours from the moment he appeared, to your surprise he wore his expression proudly instead of hiding it. He looked despondent and slightly ashamed, but you see something brighter there too, and you feel it as well. Relief.

As soon as Seonghwa appears, Wooyoung lifts his leg to kick Kai in the chest. The man collapses the rest of the way to the floor, and you can hear the thud when he hits the concrete. Wooyoung then reaches out grabs the back of Kai's collar and drags him from the room. For the first time, Kai makes a sound, and it's a pitiful wheeze.

And then it's just you and your husband.

You want to move and stand on your own feet, but you can't. And you don't need to. Seonghwa sinks to his knees on the floor next to you, you feel his hand come up to softly cup your face and your eyes stream with tears at the touch.

"I.... I-i" Seonghwa tries to start, but he seems to be at a loss for words. Even with tears filling your eyes you exhale a laugh.

"Yeah, I know." You respond, stopping his attempts to force words. Because you do. You remember the anger you expected to come that never did, and you imagine Seonghwa had expectations of his own on what he was going to say when he found you. But if there is anything you've learned these past few years, it's that your expectations are often wrong.

Seonghwa carefully as if you were made of glass, helps you to a sitting position. You see him from the corner of your eye, flinching at every sharp intake of breath when your movements hurt your broken body. Seonghwa leans your weight against his own, allowing your body to rest against his side while you sit. You try to protest.

"Seonghwa, no, you've been shot" You try to reason, but it falls on deaf ears. He lets out a bitter laugh. His face, which could be so soft and yet so sharp has never looked more vulnerable, and his dark hair falls in front of his eyes.

"Darling, while I appreciate the concern, it’s laughable given the state your in."

You roll your eyes a bit, but you can't help but smile, hearing his voice was as soothing to your pain as any medicine.

"We'll call it even."

When You two stand and make your way into the hall there are already Ateez men and police officers stationed on either end of a ruined empty hallway. It stuns you to see how quickly the battle was won, but from the sound of it, it was a complete surprise. Seonghwa wrapped an arm over your shoulder and pulled you close, almost using you as a crutch, not that you mind. He leads you down the hall and when you turn it becomes clear how it was done. He leads you through a set of faded blue double doors that open out onto a steel walkway overlooking an abandoned factory floor. The old, ruined machines piled to the side to make way for the rest of the scene.

The large garage doors at the far end of the large brick space and outside you can see what looks to be hundreds of police, SWAT officers, and surely some of Ateez's own men surrounding the building. In the center of the concrete floor, there are about 50 of the deserters bound and gagged, seemingly waiting for arrest. They are lined up close to the garage doors.

Closer to you, there are sheets covering large swaths of the dirty floor. Your stomach lurches, knowing what is underneath. Seonghwa leads you both down the short metal steps to the floor, through a row of sheets to the very center of the massive room. Here the rest of Ateez stands, all surrounding Kai who is bound and gagged the same as his men already sporting black eyes On the ground next to him is Joongki's corpse, with no sheet to cover him. You deduce the deal Seonghwa made with the politicians, they work together to take down the thorn in Seonghwa’s side. The police take credit for arresting 50 wanted criminals in one fell swoop and Ateez gets Kai, to do with as they please.

Seonghwa releases your shoulder with a firm squeeze and an even firmer look. 'Stay put' his eyes say you know he is telling you to stay here next to Yunho. But, you have no intention of stopping him. Seonghwa turns and Hongjoong, who is standing between Kai and the corpse, he holds out a handgun by the barrel for Seonghwa to take. Seonghwa crosses the space in two long steps and takes the gun from his boss's grip. He looks down at the man looking up at him with pleading eyes. Seonghwa scoffs, raising the weapon in the air before bringing the butt down across Kai's face. Kai gasps in pain and then chokes. He opens his mouth perhaps to beg, but instead, he makes a croaking noise.

"Your mistake Kai is simple; it was thinking you could beat us in this game. You thought that you were a threat when you were nothing more than a nuisance." Seonghwa spits the words with ice cold furry, he is unforgiving and unrelenting as he leans over the battered man.

"You should have known from the first time you heard I'd made deals with politicians that you had lost. That it was only a matter of time before we had the resources to storm this place, as if we hadn't already figured out where you were hiding. The only thing stopping us was a lack of manpower because of you stirring up rebellion. I don't like those people, in their ivory fucking castles thinking that because they make the law, they're above it. But I've always been more than willing to put my morals aside." Seonghwa was hunched over Kai despite the bullet wound still draining blood.

"Your father knew it too. He tried to show you were too arrogant, and flippant, that unless you learned consequences you blunder yourself into an early grave,"

"I am going to deliver you to him," Seonghwa speaks the words with finality. With his dark hair falling loosely around his face and his grim expression, almost sober, you're sure that from Kai's glossy eyes, he looks like the grim reaper come to call. You don't feel sad for him, you buried your brother 3 years ago.

You're not happy to watch him die, but still, you do. You watch as Seonghwa straightens up and lifts his arm, aiming the gun point blank. You know that even this is a small kindness to the man, killing him now, instead of making him pay more thoroughly, you suppose that's probably for your sake not his.

When the shot rings you don't feel any better, but you certainly can't say you feel any worse.

"So, you knew him the whole time."

Your words rang in the vast space of the VIP room at the hospital. Rooms like these are saved for presidents, CEOs, and you. The luxury of the room was making it hard to feel comfortable, your IV bag stood out against the warm wood of the walls. The space would be big enough to host a small party, as it contained a fully carpeted seating area with plush couches, decorative plants, idyllic paintings, and even a glass chandelier. It should feel comforting to be back in a world of care a splendor, make you feel like the last two days had been some sick freak nightmare. But didn't, the only thing offering you the slightest bit of comfort was Seonghwa's warm hand in yours

"Yes," He replied calmly. Not the same empty calm as he was over the phone, but something kinder, it was the voice he used at home.

To his credit, Seonghwa seems to have lost all the suspicion and anger he felt towards you the last time you were face to face, just as you have. But you can’t help but wonder, just how many steps ahead he had been, not just to Kai, but to you as well.

“How long did you know he was alive?”

“Not long,” Seonghwa’s voice sounds slightly choked, he’s staring at you, waiting for you to unleash your anger on him. You can almost see your fight playing over and over again in his glassy eyes. You sigh, wishing Seonghwa would stop looking so God damn guilty. You want to reach your hand to his face, and ease some of the worry, but his grip on your palm is tight, unwilling to let you go.

“If I had known-“He starts, and you can already hear the impending apology on his lips, the resignation and desperation dripped into his words. You cut him off,

“I could have told you, but I didn’t.” You don’t say this out of guilt, and Seonghwa already knew that fact anyway. But you said it to remind him that you are just as much to blame. Seonghwa swallows his words. His brow furrows, and you can tell he feels responsible for the pain you’re feeling, and you doubt no matter how much you try and convince him otherwise his opinion won’t change.

"Why not tell me? That you knew him" You carry on, asking the question that you’ve been dying to know since this all began.

"I was going to talk to you about him initially, but it didn't take me long to realize you were unaware of what he was. I did not want to burden you with the knowledge of the kind of man your brother was, especially so soon after his death. So, I kept it to myself." Seonghwa replied without hesitation as if to prove how honest he intended to be.

You couldn't even really fault him for that. How could Seonghwa have known he would have needed to break my already broken heart back then in order to prevent this trauma in the now? He couldn't have, it's as simple as that. But it's been 3 years since then.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" You don't let any hint of accusation seep in, though his answer to this question could hurt you. But you're not concerned, because you didn't doubt what he would say.

"Yes, I did,"

You could tell Seonghwa felt guilty, you could see it in the subtle twitch of his lips down as he said the word, trying to keep a frown from his face. You could see it in his eyes waiting for your anger, yet continuously being surprised when he did not see it.

You sigh at him, leaning back onto the softest hospital cushions you've ever felt that were propped up against the inclined bed. You took the time to really look at him. He too looked older than the last time you saw him, his hair is longer too, it just brushes past his browbone, and you know soon it will be long enough to brush from his eyes. And his eyes, they were usually so bright and alive, now they had deep dark circles. He looked defeated, despite having won.

"I'm not angry with you Seonghwa," You say serenely, flipping your held hands to run your thumb over his bruised knuckles. Seonghwa huffs, shaking his head and breaking your gaze.

"You should be." He grits through his teeth.

"Are you angry with me?"

At that Seonghwa's head shot up in surprise, he looked so genuinely confused for a moment.

"No-no?!" He replies so quickly, almost urgently, that he stutters on the word. He was still so confused it came out as a question. You laugh at his face and at the stutter, it's not often you can fluster Seonghwa, and you appreciate the chance while you have it. Seonghwa's confusion morphs into general bewilderment as if wondering what's gotten into you. You shake your head and even your breath with a smile.

"Seonghwa, the truth is you have every right to be as mad at me as I do for you. In fact, we made many of the same mistakes, I hid Kai from you as well, and I let myself lose trust in you too." Seonghwa flinches at that last line, stewing in his memory of the words he had thrown at you. But you can't help but think accusing you of cheating after finding you drunk with another man, is not the farthest jump anyone could have made even if it had been so hurtful at the time.

"So, if you're not mad and me then I'm not mad at you." You’re sincere in your words, and even Seonghwa must relent to them after another moment of hesitation. But he can't force you to be angry with him. You both were far too spent and have had far too many conflicting emotions over the past hours. Love is comforting, and healing, you both needed these desperately.

You lean down to where he sits by your side and kiss him. It's a soft and gentle dance of lips, not driven by need or desire, just great affection, and love. You had taken a chance on this man 3 years ago, a leap of faith into his arms that led you here. It hadn't been a pleasant road necessarily, but you couldn't regret it since it led you here. Safe again, finally, with your husband who you love and loves you in return. You break the kiss as slowly as you start it, laying a hand on your stomach.

"So, what are we going to do about this?"

Very long authors note if you’re curious

Aha! Here it is, my magnum opus. I’ve arisen from the ashes on inactivity for this last parting gift.

I know I previously called LADEVOTEE (and I did love writing that) but let’s me real here, this series is probably the most popular and lasting thing I’ve posted on here I have received a lot of support and encouragement not only this series, but on my posted works as a whole which continues to surprise me.

Writing fan fiction believe it or not was alway been more about writing and storytelling than it ever was about kpop and I only wrote smut cuz it’s more engaging, I’m Ngl I’m really not involved in the kpop fandom anymore (though I still saw Ateez in concert last year)

I’ll be honest I never plan of being fully active on here again, it’s been years and I got different shit going on but hey never say never, I’ll probably still post from time to time.

P.s i am curious to know if anyone guessed the plot twist? Cuz like I was trying to drop hints but also I really wanted it to be a surprise

#ateez smut #ateez au #ateez oneshot #seonghwa mafia au #seonghwa smut #seonghwa oneshot #ateez mafia au #ateez series

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

I'm a spinster