One day at a time.

This is a personal/health/vent side blog. Topics that come up include c-ptsd, dissociation, ex-christian, chronic illnesses, etc.

[spoonsandweasels]

Nothing like your own anti-depressants keeping you from doing what you love and keeps you healthy

[healingpolyphony]

I feel like some people tend to treat nonhuman alters as a fun little quirky thing but it’s actually terrifying sometimes. Especially because a lot of the time the reason they perceive themselves as nonhuman is such a core part of their trauma.

[thecirculararchive]

Absolutely agreed - but I also wanna add that it’s absolutely valid to see joy in who you are, regardless of your traumatic origins.

Numb is a demonic protector. He had a lot of troubles a few years back because he was a “monster” (to some degrees, he still struggles with it). He saw himself as evil, even felt shame because he was a demon.

Now, he mostly just laughs at the jokes that he purrs when he gets chin scritches and feels good when he gets back rubs on his janky ass spine. He loves who he is, loves his weird fun quirks, because they’re him.

So yes, while it is terrifying, it’s important to find solace in who you are, trauma and all. I don’t think OP was saying that’s not a good thing, but moreso “these are two things that need to be acknowledged together,” which I absolutely agree with.

[healingpolyphony]

Oh, absolutely! I’m definitely not saying you should be ashamed of it at all, this post came off the backend of a huge wobble we had where a very traumatized alter of ours went into very, very dark place mentally yesterday related to his specific trauma, which also linked to that he’s a fallen angel inside.

Being a nonhuman alter is not a bad thing! My point was that people look at nonhuman alters and sort of go…. “Teehee, that’s so bizarre/cute/weird/funky!” which it is! Sometimes! But there’s also a reason for those alters to be the way they are, and that, in most cases, is the trauma from which they came.

Tl;dr: Infantalizing alters because they present as nonhuman isn’t a great thing 🥲 sorry for the essay!

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Life goes on …Whether you move on and decide to take a chance in the unknown or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could have been.”

— My Dear Valentine

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.”

— Iain S Thomas

[things-i-cant-say-on-facebook]

Just DID things:

People often act confused when the alters sound different over text or voice from [host name]

Like yes we're good at pretending to be them, but come on, we're different people. Of COURSE we're going to have different speaking mechanisms when being ourselves.

-Alice

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

Hey. This is a reminder that you've survived 100% of the times you thought you couldn't make it. You're made of sterner stuff than you give yourself credit for. I'm proud of you.

[spoonsandweasels]

[cw sui]

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No one cares that I’m suicidal anymore. It’s old news. Well I still have to live with it. I still have to live with constantly wanting to die.

I put out a cry for help on facebook the other day and it got Care reacts. Fucking Care reacts. I know people saw the post. But not one word offering to help. Not one word asking if I needed anything. Not one one person “hey are you ok?”... nothing.

I’m just venting into the void now. G-d forbid I have to go on tumblr to vent. But I do.

[spoonsandweasels]

Me: asks Universe for a sign to stay alive

Universe: gives me a friend just venting about their own problems, even after acknowledging I was struggling.

Well fuck me then.

...

Do I dare dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

[spoonsandweasels]

lol my sign from the universe is that we're getting a new Mass Effect game

[spoonsandweasels]

Me: asks Universe for a sign to stay alive

Universe: gives me a friend just venting about their own problems, even after acknowledging I was struggling.

Well fuck me then.

...

Do I dare dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

[malleus-mustelidae]

Surreal lolita oracle

Surreal lolita oracle deck, forty cards, comes with a description book.

my partner designed and made this amazing oracle deck -- Surreal lolita oracle! please consider signal boosting to spread the word, and/or click the link if you'd like to purchase a deck!

[focusedandfearless]

[ribbitflings]

0 out of 5 stars. Would not recommend. Doesn't work as advertised. Always hurts. No one can do anything. It won't stop. Constantly malfunctions and glitches. Manufacturer won't refund or replace.

[spooniestrong]

[tblaberge]

It’s hard sometimes, but it’s important to remember.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“It’s never too late to start over. If you weren’t happy with yesterday try something different today. Don’t stay stuck.”

— Alex Elle

[rebuildthemanor]

I’ve been alternating amongst playlist spells, audiobooks, Disney sing-along, and ambient mixes to help me get through the stay-at-home lockdowns. If you need some background music while isolated, here are some of my favorite ambiances right now: 

Hope they can help you stay grounded :) 

NYC Coffee Shop

Cafe (thunder, fireplace, piano, rain)

Portia’s Cottage (Arcana)

Rowdy Raven (Arcana)

At the Bar with Julian (Arcana)

Sleepy Sailor on a Sloop (Arcana)

Norse Shore

Fishing for Jormungandr

Sleeping in Slytherin Dorm

221B – Rainy Day with Sherlock

At Home with Peggy [Carter]

Loki’s Chambers

Victorian London

Tavern by the Fireside

Hook’s Quarters

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.”

— Eckhart Tolle