alienated scribbles

[sporadicalien]

bubblegum sky

[sporadicalien]

There is a feeling of emptiness when you realise that you have become a stranger in the gang. It's like you don't even exist anymore. You just nod to everything they say. You laugh even though you don't get the joke. You're in conflict between urself and the person who desperately wants to be included in everything like everyone else. Then you finally realise that none of them will ever love or care for you. Now you want out of the gang ; but what would they feel if I left. I clinged to them for almost 2 years and then finally got out. It was was empowering but still fearsome.

[sporadicalien]

Mosquito

Mg hmmmm....

That's what the mosquito sung.

Back and forth along my eardrum. At first I thought that it was a message from my long lost friend who somehow incarnated as a mosquito.

Well.... Nope. It was just practising to pierce through my skin. It was like stabbing urself with a pin but the pain is hundred times more than that.

Then I tried to catch it. But escaped. I knew it will come back for my flesh. I was prepared when it came. I caught it with my hands. Should I kill it, should I let it live. Or should I just pluck its wings and let it live. I did the latter and I don't know how can I forgive myself

[sporadicalien]

Full stop

My life is now in a full stop

Am not dramatising it

Pardon

Am like that

Those who wants me in their life

Should at least have the courage and

Time to talk to me

when u realise that you

are not their 1st priority

if you were

u will be noticed

I severely lack something to be noticed

Its not like I want attention or so

It's just that am non existent for u

Or you like to make it that way

If you have feelings show them

There's nothing to be ashamed of in love

...

Yep this doesn't probably make any sense to you..

[sporadicalien]

Thorns

_______

Run! Run faster

Thought my mind

Until my skirt caught

A thorn stick

It was really long and thin

It didn't look like it could weigh me

down

But it did

I tried to pull away the thorns from my skirt

Instead they tore my skin and I cried with pain

I sat down and  removed each thorn one by one

When it was  the last one it all got tangled again

Blood flowing down my legs to get some fresh air

But

I had to run

So I ran and I ran till the sun came down

My keens were tried and I fell down

Now the thorns were gone

But the scars will remain forever

[pisss-offf-ghostt]

It’s December so why not

[sporadicalien]

[sporadicalien]

Longing for something that will never become reality is the worst

[sporadicalien]

Memoir

Is it sad to tell that I miss you soo much still after these years. I just want to kiss you and hug you and say I love you.

[sporadicalien]

I love the way you look at me. The way you talk to me. How you look away when I catch you starring. If you like me so much then why don't you tell me. How can u leave me strangling here. Am i not good enough for you to say that you like me. 🤐

[sporadicalien]

Trust

Fragile like

Thin glass

It shatters u

It cuts u deep

Scars which now

Can never be stiched

[everythingstarstuff]

THANKS!

[sporadicalien]

If there was a memory erasing center.. We could all let go of our bad memories and try not to chase them. Not to remember them in our best situations. Aah fuck right? But what about all the good memories. I wish there was a device which would bring back our childhood memories through our mind instead of photographs and videos.

[sporadicalien]

Grey

My mind freezes at that moment. Shouting, swearing;everything flashes before me. It's just a bad memory. A memory which is eating me alive. I want it to stop. It's was a mistake on my part I know and am sorry for a million times. No, well actually it's ur fault. U didn't look. Ur the one who caused the problem. Fuck u. And u try to put blame on me. Huh. Nah dude. Not gonna happen again. And u might even have forgotten about me..and am here sobbing about u.. Fuck

[sporadicalien]

Every person has something unique in them.. We just have to realise the uniqueness in ourselves.. We also have a lot of commons with the rest of the people.. This commonsess is what makes us search for our quirkiness.. But the reality is that the quirkiness is and always have been in U

[sporadicalien]

I want to talk to you, about lot of things, about u and I, about us, life, future, everything going on my mind, but it will all go wasted if I share with the wrong person. I just don't want to lose myself to anyone again

[sporadicalien]

I would talk and go on talking about anything to anyone.. But to you it feels like someone is choking me.. Am afraid of u.. Am afraid for me.. That you would know everything about me.. Every word I say is like ripping me to pieces.. I just don't think am safe with you.. U are not the person I imagined to be.. Am sorry.