Youve unleashed hell! I want raph dad headcannons🥺👏
Oh god you’re killing me cause you know this mofo is DAD MATERIAL
So let’s all collectively cry over Dad!Raph
Can be the bad cop but mostly he’s the good cop, you as the mother cannot help but roll your eyes
I mean imagine this big hunk of a dad turtle trying to give a stern talk to the kids for misbehaving
And then it hits.
Cue waterworks and sniffling
He’s done for. Nope. The babies cry and out goes the punishment and not tv for a week threats
Pls step in these kids are gonna walk all over him
Almost passed out on the first diaper change. How does a small thing produces this STENCH
By month 3 he’s a pro, by baby 2 he’s a fucking sensei
The dad that throws them in the air and catches them effortlessly while you have sixty eight heart attacks
You once got home and all the kids were climbing him and yelling ‘Godzilla Godzilla!!’
Then you gave him a speech that the kids shouldn’t be watching violent movies!
Once put a Bandaid on the kid
‘Uncle Donnie has cooler bandaids’
‘Well Uncle Doonie is a damn nerd junior’
Kids say their first cuss words
He tries to put Mikey in the dog house for that one
‘Babe I have no idea where they heard Shit Head!! It had to been Mikey!’
Y’all have a daughter? Listen listen 🥺 this man is her slave from day one
It’s princess yes and princess of course
She gonna date? Well congratulations that kid is learning chokeholds and defensive attacks by the time she’s 8.
Y’all have a son? This man turns into an actual child. They are besties and thick as thieves. Inside jokes and ‘don’t tell your mom I let you use my Sai’
The breakfast maker™️
Honestly Raph owns breakfast, dem kids are gonna groan if they see you at the stove in the morning
Has one of those #1 dad mugs but the kids customized it with a bunch of badly drawn turtles bless their hearts
Bath time is your gig but bedtime is his
9 times out of 10 ends up falling a sleep with the book on his plastron and the kids all over him
Cried when the kids got their vaccines and shots from Donnie
‘Ya torturing my babies bro!’
Cue Donnie tired of this bitch
Sleep deprived Raph has hummed baby shark at 6am while rocking the baby, it’s a fascinating sight tbh
Wants more kids
You fear for your uterus
Honestly Raph is such a choice dad. He’s sweet, gentle, hands on and so fucking loving I can’t stress enough this is a great turtle dad
donnie fixing his eyes so he doesnt need glasses anymore is probably funnier, but i cant help but think he probably never even needed glasses, he just thought they made him look smarter
Prefacing this with the fact that I believe all four of them are consistent users of 'baby'. Some pull it more (Leo) than others (Donatello), but that's a go-to, especially if they want something from you.
Leonardo
- Dear, baby, honey, love, if it ain't broke don't fix it, in his opinion. He's a simple guy (as simple as a ninja turtle can be...) and these come naturally to him.
- If he's particularly lovey dovey? Princess/prince, it's something cute and corny that he can pop out. He's very boyish about it
- As far as what you'd call him, you can whip around and use the same line up on him, you call and he'll answer.
- A guilty pleasure of his though is something authoritative. Sir, Sensei, Mister
- The type, that if you guys became parents, he would call you what the kids call you. I don't make the rules. (I do, but I'm not changing them) it's mostly endearing and casual, like saying your name
Raphael
- SALACIOUS once it's been long enough and he's comfortable and you're comfortable, he does lay it on
- Sweetheart, Sugar, baby, baby doll, baby mama (don't ask, he won't have a reason), and a multitude of others that are the equivalent to a sleepy wet kiss to the ear
- Very much like a cheeky old man about it, if it makes you swat at him the better.
- LOOOVES if you tease and call him big man or hot rod. Absolutely melts at being called handsome, something about it strokes that praise loving gremlin in his brain and you can get him to do whatever you need
Donatello
- Like an old man but the sweet modest kind
- Dovey/Dove, Honey, Dear, Darling, Love, etc. He only ever really pulls baby when he's wanting you or begging for some leniency. And then when he's feeling extra poetic he'll pull a different language out
- Call him smarty pants or smart ass in that sassy kind of way and he's getting hard. But he's very weak to just his name and how you say it. A sweet and simple "Donnie", or looking him in the eyes and saying his full name "Donatello" in a serious way and he's all yours
- But also he's in love with even the way you sneeze, so, it isn't hard to get what you want from him
Michelangelo
- Many people have this headcanon, but he is seriously coming up with the most ridiculous shit to get you laughing. Snookey-wookey pookie bear, sugar kiss, Honey butt, the list goes on
- In another life he was a hey mama's lesbian
- It's purely for the fact they make you laugh and make other people look at him crazy. But when it's just you two? It's weirdly your name or sun shine or baby, nothing else, he's very limited but it makes it all the more personal
- The best names to call him, are always baby/baby boy, good boy, handsome..., there's a trend here. But it makes him absolutely melt
THIS IS THE BEST. Tired leo with donnie on a leash 🤣 Raph CARRIES and mikey with his headphones and youngest sibling level of annoyance on his face. I LOVE IT
💌 lol…it’s a match made in heaven. i went with rise as there was no specification on which donnie, i’ve been on a rottmnt rewatch lately so i figured why not 🌷
tags: fluff, pre-established relationship, reader is a barista, tiny bit of suggestive-ness but he’s a terrible flirt and a dork so it doesn’t count 🙃
synopsis: he likes to pop in at work, sometimes. abusing his “boyfriend powers.”
You’re a barista at a local and small-town cafe. The old couple that runs it often trust you to handle it alone. Knowing this, Donnie would take full advantage of that fact. Abuses it, really.
He runs on coffee. THRIVES off of it. If you were to draw his blood, it would likely be 99% caffeine. You’ve tried to get him to stop, but it’s purely addiction. If you suggest decaf, that is insulting him. “Blasphemy,” as he’d call it. Leo likes to describe his twin’s hatred for decaf as the same for his hatred for pineapple on pizza.
He only comes in during dead hours—late nights or painfully early mornings. He prefers night. If he’s there at sunrise, it means he hasn’t slept, he’s been on patrol, or both.
His purple hoodie has become a frequent sight for you. Every time he visits, you might be in the back making espresso when you return to find Donatello slumped and sleepy in the same spot—the back right corner of the booth, facing the wall so no one can really see him. He was always hiding in that giant shirt of his.
Donnie would often hack the cameras when he visited, but you’d often tell him that the owners wouldn’t have the intellectual capacity to check them unless someone broke in. You let him to it to ease his paranoia.
He refuses to be served at the counter if there’s even a chance someone could get a clear look at him. You end up “forgetting” his drink at a back table instead… then usually having to bring it to him. He always looks at you with a smirk on his face.
“Good very early morning, lazy ass,” you'd say, crossing your arms. “Dee. There’s no one else here. Just come up and get the drink,” you shake your head, giving up and placing it in front of him. Cold brew. Black. Unsweet. Maniac.
You still drew a heart on his cup with black permanent marker.
“Scoff,” he groaned. “I simply don’t feel like it. It’s been a long night.” Slowly, his hands would reach out for his drink. “But, thank you, darling. You make them well.”
If a customer gets rude with you, he wants nothing more than to get up and throw hands. He doesn’t. He probably just cuts their wi-fi or hacks their phone, however he may do it. Ten minutes later, he happily proceeds to show you his proof!
Before he heads out for his much-needed rest, Donnie leaves cute little notes written onto napkins and slips them under his empty cups. Little things. Often, they are words he was too shy to say directly to you, despite his bad-boy complex, or whatever he calls it.
Sometimes they were cute. Friendly. Flirtatious. Scribbled, so not a soul would see.
“I hope you know you’re the best part of my night”
“Text me when you get off. I’ll walk you home”
“You make it very hard to leave”
Sometimes they were… something else, to say the least. Maybe he’d had a long night.
“I’m stealing five minutes of your break next time”
“You look unfairly good tonight”
“Lose the apron when you come by the lair later.”
God, he needed to work on his flirts.
If he hasn’t seen you in a while, he drops in completely unexpectedly, sometimes. You’d be cleaning up the cafe for the night when you suddenly hear a thump behind you.
“Need some help?” He’d ask, no hoodie this time. Bo staff in hand, hopping down from the table; the scent of caffeine getting him going again. He must’ve just dropped by during patrol.
“No, ahah, but thank you! Unless you want to wipe down stained tables where a toddler threw chewed… and… chunky sandwich bits earlier.” Donnie grimaced at that, regretting asking. He stayed perched upon the table, eyes following you as you shut the place down.
Afterward, he still escorts you home via rooftops or secluded back routes, as being seen together remains unsafe. He keeps his hoodie on him at all times during these walks. Still, he prefers walking you through dark alleys.— it gives him more of a chance to show off by fighting some losers that found their way into the foot clan. He won’t admit that, though.
Even in the lair, he begs you to brew him some coffee for nights that you’re off.
You don’t. Get. A break. Don’t expect to, either. He’s a caffeine machine.
One day, you bring the notes to his desk. Each little napkin that he’d written and doodled on, taped down onto one big board. His eyes wander over it– face turning a darker shade of green. Red? His cheeks were flushing pink, if he could even do that.
“You weren’t supposed to keep those...”
“Then why write them? They’re cute. Especially those last few,” you tease back, kissing him quickly on the cheek.
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