i am confusion

tommy, he / him, dragon enthusiast, pretty rocks and sea creature plushies collector, living embodiment of :3

[were--ralph]

Mitch McConnell will die two weeks from today (8/31/23)

[were--ralph]

there is no need to charge or cast i just be Knowing

[were--ralph]

Like i said dont ever fucking doubt me again

[were--ralph]

[sacred-portal]

[kittybroker]

Feast your eyes on these two delicious hamburgers! Dig in with prices as low as only $8.90!

[finishingschoolbooks]

How to Ride a Werewolf

Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolf astride! Why, next you’ll be showing ankle…

[were-ralph]

That’s not how you ride a werewolf ill show you how to ride a werewolf !!

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[were--ralph]

[theimpossiblecool]

10 Portraits by Herb Ritts

[wolfythewitch]

Hngr

[evilwizard]

it’s time for demons to come out of the ground and for everyone to get special powers

[cryptidexploded]

Can they maybe not

[evilwizard]

you’re prejudiced against new ideas.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can meet people their own age

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can hit on senior citizens that are way too young for them

[color-palettes]

Cosmic Surfin' - Submitted by: fastman27

#341646 #4A2299 #9AAAE4 #D3D9E7 #EBBEE2 #EC87B3

[what-even-is-thiss]

There’s at least a little good news

[what-even-is-thiss]

For those of you confused about why it’s “nearly all children” that’s because children born to foreign diplomats and children born on foreign owned boats in US waters aren’t citizens because the constitution says citizenship applies to people born in the US and subject to the jurisdiction thereof. Diplomats and people on foreign owned boats aren’t subject to the jurisdiction of the US government.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

think I've been mildly cursed by a witch

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

for years now my laptop charger has reliably broken every 6 months. admittedly i keep replacing it with the cheapest possible generics, but I've tried differed brands and ALWAYS, 6 months in Death knocks impatiently at my door, its skeletal hand outstretched demanding yet another goddamn power cable. the only feasible explanation is i pissed off a witch. the alternative is that i'm the problem, which seems unikely

[spectraltower]

the witch is called enshittification

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

excellent so is this like a rumpelstiltskin situation or

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know people who are against birthright citizenship are always like “oh people take vacations here to give their kids citizenship”

Okay. Who gives a fuck?

[what-even-is-thiss]

Oh no that kid might move here when they’re older, offsetting our low birth rate and paying taxes, oh no.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Immigrants almost always make a place more interesting so I just shrimply do not give a fuck

[finishingschoolbooks]

How to Ride a Werewolf

Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolf astride! Why, next you’ll be showing ankle…

[were-ralph]

That’s not how you ride a werewolf ill show you how to ride a werewolf !!

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm

[skyporf]

WHEN do you ever feel that

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the worms yearn for escape

[leo-forgot-to-create]

The worms are telling you to go see a doctor...

[skyactually]

@entities-of-posts the corruption/flesh?

[purlturtle]

After my hysto, I was in *intense* abdominal pain that didn't feel like wound pain from the ablation but something different that I couldn't explain, until the gynecologist told me "yep, that'd be your intestines rearranging themselves into the gap left behind by your uterus."

So there's a mental picture for you. Slither slither. Slither slither.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

awwww, they were exploring their new enclosure 😍😍😍

[starvariety]

if i think too hard about nikki’s experience in Obsession i feel physically ill. imagine one second you’re just walking up to your house after a night out, and then the next, you’re looking out of your own body, but you’re not longer in control. you’re a prisoner to a terrible, unnatural version of yourself that only exists because of a choice someone else made. when you scream, nobody listens. when you claw your way out for long enough to explain that this isn’t you, nobody listens. when you beg the man who trapped you in this situation to put and end to it, to set your free, he just. doesn’t. listen. and then when you do finally regain control, all your friends are dead, and you are covered in their blood. because of a choice someone else made

[nihilisticlinguistics]

adulthood notes:

The Rodeo Rule: you only have to do it for the first time once.

The Rohan Rule: if you are at a social function full of new people and you want to be liked, find someone doing important work like setup or food prep and offer to help.

The Tutorial Mode Rule: to navigate an unfamiliar situation where you fear you will mess up an interaction, preface the interaction by mentioning that you've never done this before, and let them know if you have a specific concern or question.

The Rocket Science Rule: most new things you want to try seem very complicated but are simple when taken step by step.

The [X] Will Remember That Rule: if you need to make small talk with the same person on a regular basis, try to save one fact or current event in their life from a given conversation and bring it up next time you talk.

The Cool Binder Rule: by wearing clothes and accessories that are to your taste instead of trying to blend in, people will be more likely to compliment you and show interest in you as a person.

[the-haiku-bot]

The Rodeo Rule:

you only have to do it

for the first time once.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[i-am-a-fish]

stretching feels so so so so good I just did it and it was so good. I might indulge myself with another stretch and quite soon

[vaguely-human-i-swear]

My fish started stretching!

[i-am-a-fish]

FISH STRETCHING GIF

[valtsv]

arranged political marriage narratives are for me similarly fraught to unplanned pregnancy in that they tend to skew towards a conservative, anti-choice sentiment regardless of the author's intentions or ideology, because the end goal is typically the realisation of an apparently empowering and subversive romantic fantasy where the characters involved experience compellingly turbulent and sexually charged conflict between normative expectations and their own desires, but ultimately find themselves fulfilled in and even healed by the acceptance of undeniably important and worthwhile but conventional (and oppressively gendered) roles like that of the loving husband and wife or parental figures. which is a shame because i Do think that there's some interesting and worthwhile commentary to be explored through these kinds of kinky fantasies that reflect the anxieties surrounding very real and enduring sociopolitical issues regarding autonomy and consent, but when that tension is ultimately resolved by settling into a role that's always been what's expected of you, even if it does allow you to manipulate certain social power dynamics in your favour, it just rings kind of hollow. all of which is a very long-winded way of saying that i wish there were more arranged marriage narratives where the participants never fall in love, but still come to care for and respect one another, and perform the marital duties expected of them out of that affection and desire to both help each other advance their sociopolitical countermoves to subvert the status quo and to survive, using the legal and social trappings that come with their marital status to their advantage to protect each other.

[valtsv]

like i really Cannot stress enough how imperative it is that they never feel anything like romantic love for one another - nor are they really friends, although they may like each other's company and even actively prefer it to anyone else's. rather their relationship is comparable to that of two people covering each other's backs in a fight, or two prisoners in the same cell, and there's as much of the beauty of human connection to that as there is tragedy that those are the circumstances that brought them together. and they can absolutely have sexual tension and even consummate a sexual relationship and enjoy it, but it will be unavoidably dubiously consensual at best by design. no flinching from it.

[valtsv]

arranged marriage where you love each other so much that you'd both shove the other person through a crack in the wall the moment it opened up in front of you while screaming at them to go, go now, run, and don't you dare look back