a girl in one of my classes sent out an email saying “you’ll be having a furry classmate this semester” and my heart stopped but she was talking about her service dog
art blog(derogatory)

Janaina Medeiros
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor

shark vs the universe
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
todays bird
almost home
occasionally subtle

blake kathryn

Product Placement
RMH

roma★
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
noise dept.
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wallacepolsom

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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
seen from Türkiye
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seen from China

seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from Brazil
seen from Chile
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seen from Australia

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
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@stag-horns
a girl in one of my classes sent out an email saying “you’ll be having a furry classmate this semester” and my heart stopped but she was talking about her service dog
This is the kind of stuff that lost Verizon over a billion dollars and why so many people are waiting for the whole site to get shut down.
LMFAOOOOOO AYO HAHAHAHAHA
😂😂😂😂😂
the dirty dog
This dog is dissolving and all you can do is call him dirty
i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream
you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”
I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.
new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
Actual conversation I had at register: “Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?”
“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”
“I- I’m sorry?”
“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”
“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”
“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”
*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”
“Taste means nothing to me.”
At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”
She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden Sacajawea dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”
My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”
“How many can I add?”
Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”
“One then.”
I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.
My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”
The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”
My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Mastrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring.
The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.
Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never left, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this story, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
“Yeah, I had one like that.”
world heritage post
*opens the oven after preheating to 400*
me: reblogs anything
the green bar that pops up telling me I reblogged something:
the legality of parodies is so funny. if you take a bit from someones work without their permission its illegal UNLESS you make fun of them
Eclipse in Chile
It’s wilder than that. You feel the temperature drop around you. Animals start to freak out cause they think night has fallen. Even more crazy is shadow snakes. Where you see the shadows around you start to shimmer. Kind of like the shadows of atmospheric disturbances you see during really hot days or near a fire.
You can learn more about this in SmarterEveryDay’s video
And here’s a video that captures the shadow snakes
My unga bunga ancestors, absolutely surrounded by shadow snakes during an eclipse
when i was a lil kid my mother and father and my lil sis died in a murder i was sent to a mental instatution untile i was 18 i then went to the army then i became a royal gaurd i had a child but the child died and over the years insainity took over
Sorry for your lost.. May they find peace… Wait you’re in the army right.
why?
Just asking. Like have you heard any war stories?
i have been in one
* salutes*
*salutes back* so your apart of the army too?
Yes. Mostly in the Lunar Army and The Crystal Resistance.
i seved them all
How long do your wars last?
“Describe homestuck” is a weird question, because you can describe the overarching plot but not the weird branches it shoots off into
Like, “Homestuck is about a reality altering video game that comes about at the end of every world that, if beaten, allows the players to become gods of the next world. we follow four kids from our world who play it, the aliens from the previous game that made our world, and a ‘reboot’ game that comes about when ours fails.”
And then someone asks about how the fuck Betty Crocker plays into it and you don’t fucking know how to answer without a goddamn essay
giving someone a quick, offhand summation of homestuck like it didn’t consume at least three years of your life:
THEY ASK A FOLLOW-UP QUESTION:
Some of you people don’t clean the lint tray in between loads and I can tell jsut by the way you post
fuck does lint have to do w bustin loads LOL
oh like clothes
This post was laid like a trap in the grass for unsuspecting animals like you to wander by and prove that cum comes before laundry on tumblr dot org
big bang theory is awful for obvious reasons but honestly shout out to them for inventing “bazinga” so i have a word i can drop into any conversation for a one-hit kill
“Bazinga” and “everypony” are the closest we will get to real-world dragon shouts.
Something finally from ikea that makes sense.