That Which You Fear And Admire

Philos/Phil; They/Them/Theirs Asexual Aromantic Agender Studying: Social Work I talk about how gender/sexuality/politics intertwine specifically from the queer black and POC perspective, social work, writing, and whatever else suits my fancy

[stargazing-philosopher]

UPDATES

I’ve got some updates for my blog.

First and foremost thank you for 120 followers! I don’t know why you’re here but I love and appreciate you.

My username is now stargazing-philosopher

I switched my major to social work and I’m dropping my minors but I’m staying in the honors program at my school.

I’m going to try and post more original content here but I make no promises.

[stargazing-philosopher]

Pen Pal Search

Hey all I’m back on my bullshit lol. Anyway looking for a few pen pals. Only requirements are to be 18+. If we share interests that’s great but not necessary would love to learn about new interests. Feel free to dm here or on Instagram preferably @craftsbyphilos. I work at a craft store so I’m always getting new goodies to share if that’s something you’d like.

Interests:

- MCU

- DCU

- Chronicles of Narnia

- Calligraphy

- Stationery

- Reading/Writing

- Art

- Black/African American Fantasy/Sci-fi

- Languages

[yharnamsnewslug]

Actually, amab non binary people are super cool and hot and they can do whatever the fuck they want.

[yharnamsnewslug]

This goes especially for those who don't seek transition, for the fat, burly, bearded, comfortable-with-their-current-body non binary people! For the non binary amab people who do not shave and don't want to shave. For those who wear dresses and don't shave. For lipstick-and-beard. For the ones who have been told by every God damn fucking queer space that they're "basically cis men". For the amab non binary people who don't feel safe in queer spaces because they keep singling you out, excluding you, telling you that "you'll make people uncomfortable". For those left aside who cries about the queer community not wanting you around, because you're "the wrong kind of non binary".

Guess what? We do want you.

Queer spaces are INHERENTLY made better by your inclusion.

You ARE NOT cis. You're not binary trans. You are non binary, and whatever way you feel most comfortable expressing your gender is the CORRECT way.

Kick anyone in the mouth if they tell you that you're not. And if any of you come by my blog, lemme buy you a drink and hear a good story from you!

I hope you all have a nice day :)

[cis-enby-culture-is]

non-binary amabs are wonderful and you aren’t just wanted, you’re needed.

[ashbelero]

My favorite non-binary amab works out at the gym religiously. They have a beard and amazing thighs. And it breaks my heart that they’re constantly misgendered or mistaken for a gay cis man.

[gendernoncompliantbi]

Thing is is, as much m/f that is produced in the world, as a bi woman, sometimes I want to see a man fall in love with an obviously queer woman. I want to see a man realizing that the woman he is interested in is gnc and that isn't going to change.

[gendernoncompliantbi]

And women fall for GNC men! I want women who are enamored with their soft queer lover.

I want to see masc/masc and fem/fem m/f ships. Wlm and mlw can and should be queer in media.

[gendernoncompliantbi]

You know what, Im seeing my own post again and wanna say.... I wanna see queer makeover scenes and I wanna see the love interest gush.

I want the nerdy conservatively dressed girl bestfriend get her hair done and her fancy clothes on and she appears in a pressed suit. And I want the love interest to loose his breath because she's so handsome in a bow tie and slacks.

I want the guy in a skirt or a dress, I want his love interest so blown away by the way his nylons look.

I wanna see the girl give the boy a corsage.

I want gnc bi love. I want gnc love period ngl.

[bellwitchfaggot]

Abled gays celebrating marriage equality: well we sure do have nowhere to go from here when it comes to marriage rights. Gay rights!

Me, a disabled lesbian trying to get on ssi thinking about how I will not be able to marry my girlfriend if I do because I can't have more than $2000 to my name at a time and they count a spouse's income towards that: wow .. gay rights ...

[bellwitchfaggot]

Just wanna say if you fought for and support marriage equality for gay people its your responsibility to do the same for disabled people. Abled people can and should rb this

[error-404-oops-page-not-found]

I'm going to guess that this is an American issue..?

[pyrogaynia]

op mentioned ssi/ssdi, which is american, but this isn't a strictly american issue. marriage can disqualify you for disability benefits in the uk and most (if not all, i don't know specifics for every province) canadian provinces. this includes common-law marriage, which means disabled people can't even live with their partners without risking losing our benefits

[teethwreath]

marriage & partnership disqualify from disability benefits in new zealand & they're notorious assholes about enforcement + their interpretation of what a partnership is, its not even safe to date without risking losing your benefit & people have had their benefits cut off for having long term flatmates. meaning numerous disabled ppl in nz are effectively not even permitted a relationship let alone marriage

[thenearsightedmicroraptor]

This is also true in Denmark to a degree, they count a spouse's income against your disability benefits, even if you're both disabled. I can't marry either.

[wizardgender]

Hey I’m a lesbian trans woman and I feel like nobody understands this:

TERFs benefit from your hatred of lesbians.

Trans people and their allies are consistently redirecting their hatred of TERF ideology and their hatred of TERFs onto lesbians and they are playing right into TERF hands when they do it. TERFs intentionally associate themselves with and even impersonate lesbians because it enhances their political position. It strengthens their arguments to the public sphere about trans women being depraved men invading women’s spaces. I’m sure many of us have heard about how the genital preference debate is used to paint trans women as male rapists trying to attack lesbian sexuality; TERFs have intentionally pitted trans women against lesbians in an invented conflict. I can’t count how many times I’ve been called a TERF as a trans woman just for associating myself with lesbians and their culture. It’s getting to the point where lesbians feel unsafe just talking about their sexuality in public settings lest a completely unfair accusation of hating trans women is leveled against them. This is exactly what TERFs want: To silence the lesbians that are supportive of trans women so that they aren’t talking about their trans-inclusive brand of lesbianism. TERFs want to be the ONLY “lesbian” voices anyone hears, and when so many people are directing their hatred of TERFs unfairly onto lesbians, it achieves exactly that. It’s insane how effective this tactic has been. Our community needs to do better: You have to stop hating lesbians. There is no inherent link between lesbians and TERFs.

[bsddtextposts]

shoutout to all my aromantic asexual agender people out there. y’all just took a look at the world and said “no”

[awefuckthat-deactivated20210921]

PSA: You can call your man baby. You can hold him. Play with his hair. Comfort him. Hug him from behind. Doesn't make him less than a man. Makes him stronger. Makes you stronger together. Men deserve the same treatment they give.

[amvs]

no one is required to publicly list their exact age, religion, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, medical history etc in an age where doxxing someone who isn’t careful with their information is about as easy as making cereal.

share what you’re comfortable with sharing.

[amvs]

some of you are filling out your abouts like it’s the fucking census

[mushroomjawn]

Really wish we could go back to a time when movies were worth something as long as they were fun to watch

Like I mentioned the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot (the all-female one) to someone bc i had a lot of fun watching that movie!! And they were like “that movie wasn’t that good it was just a comedy… It didn’t win anything did it?” like bitch …. The first Ghostbusters movie wasn’t fucking good either but I’m still sitting here watching some dudes chase a ghost through a library to some weird synth music so maybe movies don’t have to win awards to be worth watching

[mushroomjawn]

Not done.

When I ask people about their fave movies I always ask for two:

1) Which movie do you just fuckin. Watch over and over again (mine is Groundhog Day)?

2) Which movie do you recommend to other people/to me specifically?

Like. These are two VERY different questions. I know my bff from high school is obsessed with the star wars prequels like SHE KNOWS THEY AINT GOOD. I asked my roommate the first question and they were like “fuck dude I just love Mrs doubtfire.” Like yeah you’re not gonna be telling every person you meet to watch Mrs doubtfire! But it’s okay if it’s a movie you like some movies are FUN

[lyricwritesprose]

There’s an Ebert review, I believe, of the Brendan Frasier Mummy film.  It basically goes, “k, there’s only one nice thing I can say about this movie, and that’s … I enjoyed pretty much every minute of it.”

Like.  Was it a cinematic masterpiece?  No.  Do you want to pop some popcorn and put it on while you hang out with your D&D group or whatever?  Hell, yeah.  It’s fun.

[dubiousculturalartifact]

“There is hardly a thing I can say in its favor, except that I was cheered by nearly every minute of it. I cannot argue for the script, the direction, the acting or even the mummy, but I can say that I was not bored and sometimes I was unreasonably pleased.”

-Roger Ebert

[illusivewoman22]

My husband and I have an understanding that a movie doesn’t have to be good to be good. He absolutely ADORES Wild Wild West. He thinks its hilarious, but he also understands that it is, objectively speaking, not a good movie. Like the quote above, I adore The Mummy. I find the dialogue funny, the costumes exactly campy enough, and it’s an entertaining ride.

Sometimes, shit is just fun. Or cathartic. Or brainy enough to keep you interested but not so brainy that you can’t also work on a complicated crochet pattern at the same time.

[frontdoorgroundfloor]

dead serious reminder for young people and young fans:

the more adults you interact with in social or professional settings as a young person, the more examples you will have of healthy peer relationships that are based on commonalities besides age.

also, when you have a good idea of what a healthy, cross-generational friendship looks like, it’s much easier to spot a predatory one, and the more adult friends you have, the more people you’ll have to turn to for help and advice if someone of any age is acting in a predatory, abusive, or ignorant manner.

people who are targeting younger areas of fandom to push the idea that adults are inherently untrustworthy are, themselves, attempting to isolate young people from potential sources of help and support.

please be mindful of this in your interactions with people of all ages.

[wordcubed]

#isolation policies almost never work because predators are adept at charming their way in as ‘exceptions’

#a robust and diverse system of support makes that strategy useless

[roach-works]

every time i’ve seen a cluster of teens grouping up in an isolated online community centered on one charismatic adult who was ‘the exception’, that adult has turned out to be toxic as hell. and usually significantly older than they were telling their underage friends. from gaia to livejournal to tumblr to discord, a bunch of teens scared of pedophiles being shepherded by one single grownup who keeps them scared is basically a red flag factory.

it’s not that all adults are toxic, even the ones that say they’re not. it’s that the adults telling teenagers that all adults are toxic except them are exactly the toxic adults that teens need to be avoiding in the first place.

most adults really don’t have any interest in using and abusing teenagers. we’re just… people. we want to have fun with our friends. a lot of us don’t want to interact with teens at all! the more adults that teens get to know, the better.

[queeraak]

idk if anyone needs to hear this today, but: if you are a trans dude, the fact that you are a man is a good thing and your existence as a trans man makes the world a better place. it is not a bad thing that you are a man and it’s especially not bad that you are a trans man. the fact that you exist as a man is a great thing and you are amazing. sleep well tonight

[renthony]

Y’all have got to stop excluding trans people from reproductive justice.

People of all genders can have uteri, vaginas, vulvas, breasts. People of all genders can get pregnant. People of all genders can need gynecological and obstetrical care. People of all genders may need to access abortion care. People of all genders have reproductive healthcare needs.

We do not lose our bodily autonomy when we transition. Our organs do not get magically changed the second we come out as trans. They are not “women’s” organs if they are not in a woman.

I once talked to a trans guy who was convinced he wasn’t allowed to speak about abortion access because he legitimately believed he had “forfeited the right” to his own uterus. Transphobes had done a number on this poor guy, to the point where he believed he was appropriating women’s issues just by having a uterus.

Trans people have been repeatedly hurt by reproductive care being framed as a women’s issue. People have literally died.

Y’all have got to stop excluding trans people from this. Y’all have got to stop trying to pretend that trans people (especially trans PoC) don’t belong at the forefront of the reproductive justice movement.

We’re here. And your refusal to acknowledge that is getting us killed.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[beachdeath]

even spicier take: “non-binary” means a thousand different things to a thousand different people and therefore anyone of any sexuality could theoretically be attracted to a non-binary person in some capacity, so if you’re gay and someone you’re attracted to says, “i’m non-binary,” you don’t actually have to redefine your entire identity, you can just drink a cup of sleepytime tea and go right on being gay and into non-binary people. 

[guerrillatech]

[lovely-v]

sorry not sorry but I am always going to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to queer inclusion

Like if you say you’re bi but you’ve only dated people of the opposite gender? you’re bi as hell i don’t care.

If you tell me you’re trans but you haven’t transitioned yet or don’t want to undergo certain aspects of transitioning? you are trans! I’m gonna call you by the name and pronouns you tell me to use

what if someone looks feminine, is afab, and uses she/her pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? what if someone looks masculine, is amab, and uses he/him pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? both of those people are nonbinary because they said they are!

if you’re asexual or aromantic but you’re still hetero in the sense that you experience attraction of some sort to the opposite gender and that gender alone? you’re still a part of the community babe! Aros and aces have always been queer.

If you don’t know if you’re queer or not? you’re certainly welcome to be a part of our spaces while you figure it out!

if you don’t wanna use labels? dont! that’s it! never let anyone pressure you into labels if you’re not ready to define that part of yourself.

if you use labels/pronouns that are uncommon and/or perceived as strange? that’s your label! those are your pronouns! who am i to tell you you can’t use those words to describe yourself??

basically fuck all the debates about the nuances of this stuff. if you tell me you’re queer, you’re fucking queer. I have no right to start discourse with people about their own identities and neither does anyone else.