modern AU, non-magical AU, omegaverse, omega Remus, alpha Sirius, omega Caradoc, slow build, omega discrimination, loss of parent, grief, social anxiety, smoking, nesting, friends with benefits, anal sex, crushes, goot Peter, panic attacks, past abuse, forbidden love, first time being knotted, rimming, happy ending
Every omega must belong to an alpha. When Remus’s dad—who has been his Alpha because he never found a partner—dies, Remus is left to be taken to an omega group home, where he will meet alphas five times a week until he finds someone to take him home. There he meets Caradoc, an omega who’s a bit of a loner but quickly becomes friends with Remus. Remus also meets a staff member called Sirius, whom he’s immediately attracted to. Too bad that relationships between the residents and the staff are strictly forbidden.
There is a kid out there who did every single one of his school essays and projects and short stories and friendly introductions at the beginning of the year about Shane Hollander. He did his book reports on the books Shane recommended in interviews. He saved his money to buy that stupid cologne Shane advertised. He got a puck from Shane once at warm ups and he slept with it in his bed for three weeks. He writes his moms name on his stick tape because Shane did it first. He watches the Olympics in awe. He gets into fights with kids at school about whose a better hockey player and its Shane all the way, no matter what the other kids told him or what their moms and dads said. Shane is the best.
And this kid did not have a lot of friends. His teachers thought he wasn't very smart because he made everything about hockey. And they dismissed him when he struggled with math and reading. "if you could just put some of your hockey energy into school, then maybe you would get better." His classmates laughed at the hockey themed valentines day cards him and his mom had to hand make because nowhere was selling hockey themed valentines day cards. And they laugh at him when he repeats the same thing over and over about "getting pucks deep, pucks deep, pucks deep." When he would play all by himself on the yard pretending he was skating, picking up any big stick he could find on the ground, they'd push him around. "Can we play? We'll be defenders" and ram him and take his stick. And he'd just go through all the penalties they would have just gotten over and over again until he can calm down. He celebrated every birthday at the ice rink in his full hockey gear even though he didn't really have classmates showing up. Not for lack of invite.
And his parents try to steer him away from it. They try and watch new sports, they try and get him to watch kids shows, get into things kids his age like, but all he wants to do is watch reruns of the metros cup wins. Wants to wear his hat backwards with his black shirt because that's how Shane looks in the interviews. Memorizes the answers he gives in french even though this kid never learned french in school. And its useless. This kid is hooked and they just kinda have to ride this wave.
So when the announcement comes for the Game Changers camp, these parents do absolutely everything to get him there. They don't care what it takes, this is like a light for all of them really in the midst of all the bullying at school and the meltdowns at home and the obsessive routines that fall apart if even one thing is out of place.
And they explain to the camp that their boy might have a hard time. Might need some time to adjust. That he struggles with math, and reading, and can get caught up in all the rules sometimes. Preemptively trying to say "he's not a bad kid. he's trying his best."
So at the end of the first day, his parents are prepared for a meltdown. Its new, its a lot of kids, the rink can get loud and cold, and he doesn't always do well with transitioning out of hockey. He's hard to pull off the ice at home.
And they can see some upset under the surface when they arrive. He clearly doesn't want to go home. Thats no surprise.
What is a surprise is the way Shane gets down on one knee next to where the boy is sitting upset on the ground. He doesn't move to touch him. He just gets down and the two of them softly have a chat. The boy is tugging on his hair and nodding at what Shane says. And eventually he stands and the parents walk over to them.
"You must be the parents. Its good to meet you," Shane says softly. "I was just going over some things about tomorrow. So that way he would know the schedule."
And they can see their son isn't quite happy, still clearly exhausted. He'll nap in the car and be grumpy at dinner. But he is much more regulated than they expected him to be.
"And, I was telling him about my schedule when I go home. About getting some quite time, making sure I can decompress. I think that's what all good hockey players need, right buddy?"
"Right buddy," he repeats.
And for all the understanding that seems to be there, his parents are just grateful that of all the things their kid could have a special interest in, its Shane Hollander.
I've read so many fics where our boys are doing laundry every single time they fuck and I get it, I too am not a bodily fluid enjoyer
however!
may I introduce the concept of the sex blanket? it's big and soft but not too slidey. it's lightweight enough to be easily bundled into the washer or a picnic basket ('oh my god, ilya, not in the park') but heavy enough to absorb their sweat and come without getting it on what's underneath. it's just the right texture for shane to have on his back or his knees or his ass or rubbing against his face. it's machine washable and dries quickly without getting too wrinkled. it's a kind of ugly nondescript colour that doesn't seem to stain. it's a practical (because shane) and endearing (to ilya) solution
with me so far? okay.
now please imagine the sex blanket as mating call. Ilya comes home from the grocery store and shane is sitting reading on the sofa, glasses on, not looking at ilya - but he's laid out the sex blanket across the couch and ilya immediately drops the groceries on the floor. shane gets out of the shower after his morning run expecting ilya to be up with anya or making them breakfast - but he's on the sex blanket on the bed, smirking, and shane gets hard so fast he's weak from it. one time ilya lays the sex blanket out on the patio while they're making dinner and shane can't stop shooting glances at it through the patio doors, getting flustered even though they're cooking something complicated with a lot of steps that he really needs to focus on. Ilya pretends innocence and won't touch him until they're outside after dinner...on the sex blanket.
all I'm saying is I think our boys are pavloving themselves into getting hard at the sight or feel of a particular blanket and I'm so proud of them yay
written for the @rsreversebang. art by @illustriousday
Gamer Wolfstar AU - Sirius is a streamer for the game World of Wix who has been selected as one of five champions to compete in the TriWizard Tournament at WoW-Con. He's excited, of course, not the least of which is because he'll finally get a chance to meet the mysterious Moony, a streamer who has never shared his face or his voice.
shane riding it crazy style in a backwards baseball hat is like level up of white crew socks as lingerie. i think it would give ilya a nosebleed
no bc shane bouncing and moaning on it in just the white crew socks and backwards baseball hat and maybe his smartwatch notifying him he's hit his cardio goal for the day would give me a nosebleed too
This is an attempt to summarize/source some of the recent Tumblr discussion of The Vampire Marleau and Cliff Marleau (Marlow) as The Immortal Warrior
The first mention on Tumblr of Cliff Marleau being a vampire was a reply by cephalopodie on this post on February 20, 2026, but the concept was developed by cephalopodie and clytemnestraaa via Discord messages prior to being posted on Tumblr. Since then, the fandom has come up with a lot of variations on the concept. If you know if any major variations or any notable posts that you think should be included here, please let me know so I can add them! This list is kinda biased towards my posts/my friends posts because that's what I'm most familiar with but I'd like to expand it if you have suggestions.
Rather than laying out a timeline, I'm grouping this list by major concepts.
"Cliff Marlow was turned in 2006"
I made a few posts with lore for a version of The Vampire Cliff Marlow who was turned in 2006.
Feb 22: "The Vampire Cliff Marlow, b. 1973, was turned at age 33 in 2006."
Feb 23: "When Cliff Marlow was turned in 2006, the first Twilight book had been published...The Vampire Marleau would eventually watch the Twilight movies in secret..."
Feb 25: "...Marley can never truly be ensouled because he was turned into a vampire in 2006."
Ancient Marleau
Once the idea of Marleau as a very ancient warrior vampire was introduced, this became the prevailing headcanon.
Feb 25, from clytemnestraaa: the introduction of The Vampire Marleau as an ancient warrior
Feb 25, from clytemnestraaa: introduces Scott Hunter as a vampire slayer
Montreal: The Vampire Lestat crossover
Feb 24, an oddly prescient post from cuppydogshane: "and thats without considering the vampire marleau"
Feb 25, a teaser clip for the new season of Interview with the Vampire/The Vampire Lestat was released, revealing that Lestat is living in Montreal
Post from me and cuppydogshane: Marleau's reaction to Lestat living in Montreal
March 6-7, 2026
TVM posting kind of exploded in the evening of March 6/morning of march 7. There are genuinely too many posts to link them all here, so I'm trying to stick to the most load-bearing ones that are needed to understand other posts. All of the following posts are from March 6-7 except where otherwise noted.
Marly's Scary Mirror
The concept of Marleau having a cursed mirror is most strongly associated with more ancient variations of The Vampire Marleau, but the original idea came from a tag on a 2006!TVM post linked above.
Tag from iwrotemrtambourineman: "#his soul is trapped in the cursed mirror he does coke off of"
Post from iwrotemrtambourineman: "ilya: marly, i told you to put the scary mirror away! it freaks out the hoes!"
Mine, with tag from clytemnestraaa: "Marly making the rookies stare into the Scary Mirror" / "#everyone on the raiders knows exactly where and when they are going to die"
The Immortal Warrior
As far as I can tell, the first usage of the term The Immortal Warrior was in this poll from gayhockeyshow. While The Immortal Warrior exists primarily as an offshoot of The Vampire Marleau, it's worth noting that some people prefer to imagine him as a non-vampiric immortal. March 8th, post from cuppydogshane and urlocalhotmess
Post from clytemnestraaa: "marleau is always calling his hockey stick his sword"
Post from clytemnestraaa: "marleau nearly slew the beloved of his brethren in battle"
Post from cuppydogshane: "his idea. I don't mind it."
My post: crossover with Serial Killer Scott Hunter/The Borgias
Other notable memes
Hrœrekr/Hrœker
Post from clytemnestraaa: "ilya who looks identical to his original best warrior brother from another mother hrœrekr who died of a sheep disease"
Twilight crossover
Post from clytemnestraaa, tags from cuppydogshane: "just realized the reason shane almost died when marleau hit him was the vampire strength…"
March 8, post from nonlynear: where the hell you been, loca?
"What Is It You Desire"
This post from cuppydogshane is a reference to this tumblr post and this tweet.
A Month in the Atlantic
Post from marbertyphoon: "marleau was on a galleon that went down in a storm in the sixteenth century so he spent about a month swimming out of the atlantic ocean"
The Vampire Cult
Post from cuppydogshane and catalpa-waltz
Arthuriana/Jackie Le Fay
My post, with tag from clytemnestraaa: I believe this was the first TVM post referencing Arthuriana. Tags from cly introduce Morgan Le Fay ("a MILF") into the mix
As far as I can tell, Jackie as Morgan Le Fay started with this post from cuppydogshane.
Post from clytemnestraaa: "the witch is HERE…. as the prophecy foretold…."
Post from graceebooks: "jackie le fay when she sees marleau: hey i heard you once spent a month swimming out of the atlantic ocean"
Crossover with Shane's Mysterious Powers
March 7 saw quite a lot of posts that referenced both The Vampire Marleau and Shane's Mysterious Powers. I think this one is the most notable.
Fandom Meta
March 7, from bedlund: XKCD 2501 with The Vampire Marleau, Serial Killer Scott hunter, and The Rick Owens
March 8, from dragonmuse: on "unhinged hiatus shenanigans"
okay but hudson saying that playing shane actually made his muscles sore and stiff because of how tense shane is all the time makes me laugh imagining ilya offering a massage in what was meant to just be playful foreplay, but then he starts doing it and is just 🤨🤨 jesus??? 🤨🤨 hollander, do you have muscles that AREN'T knots??? 🤨
and at first shane keeps trying to turn over because this foreplay is taking too long, and ilya is just *tsk noise and shoving his head back into the pillow but in a way that's never been less sexual between them in their entire time together* stay down, hollander, this is painful to witness how the fuck do you skate with these fucked muscles-
one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.
DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.
One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.
But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.
ilya would be having a bit of a crash out over the pacific marine mammal center naming a rescued sea lion after his husband.
firstly, why does shane get an animal named after him but ilya doesn't? this is a cosmic injustice. they need to name one after him immediately so that sea lion hollander has a rozanov and isn't lonely so that the best men's hockey player is properly represented!!!
secondly, sea lion hollander is so small. criminally tiny. ilya is very proud of his big hockey player husband, thank you. they couldn't have picked a more size-accurate animal to name after him? (though admittedly the big brown teary eyes are fitting. he will give them that.)
and THIRDLY, why did they name a hurt baby after shane when there is a possibility she might not make it through surgery? what kind of fucking emotional manipulation is this? if sea lion hollander dies, there will be hell to pay. (ilya is donating a frankly absurd amount of money to the rescue. he is urging the centaur front office to send all the workers there hollander merchandise. he is publicly yelling at people to not leave their fish hooks in the ocean on social media.)
Some old fart retired hockey player goes on ESPN and does an interview where he talks about how gay DEI initiatives are unfair and are ruining Hockey by keeping the good ole boys from getting their chance to prove themselves on the ice.
Ilya, as the captain of the gayest NHL team, is asked for comment on this. Of course, this is half way through the season while the Cens are sitting first in their division and second in the league. So Ilya says, “Ah, yes, I can see how he would think that. It seems unfair that being queer is clearly such an advantage for hockey players. We are just much better players, and having so many of us on one team, while very fun and nice for us, does seem to be putting us above everyone else in the standings. Perhaps more teams could play well if they had gay players? The Admirals are okay, but they only have one and we have four, so it is not quite fair.”
There is a rampant debate online over whether Ilya actually understands that the original comments were homophobic or if he genuinely believes that people think gay guys are too good at hockey. People also start speculating about who the fourth gay player is because Luca hasn’t actually come out publicly yet.
Scott Hunter has to put out a statement that he doesn’t believe his homosexuality has had any impact, positive or negative, on his athletic ability even though he believes being out of the closet and in a fulfilling relationship has made it easier to focus on the game.
Troy posts a tweet that just says “got gayer and got better”
Shane puts up a post with pictures of every time he won the Stanley cup and the caption “I’ve been gay the whole time and I’ve been great the whole time” with a shrug emoji.
Evolving @staring-at-the-moonbeam - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
