metaphysical @starkillling - Tumblr Blog

havanillas

Merventurine Masterpost

a compilation of all my merman aventurine series in chronological order

Part 0: Prequel

Part 1: The merman and lighthouse keeper

Part 2: Doctor's new patient

Part 3: Bath enthusiast

Part 4: Chalk eater

Part 5: Numby the trespasser

Part 6: Outdoor experience

Part 7: Little gay merman with little gay dreams

happy mermay fellas!

velinxi

Haikaveh doodle!

#genshin impact #haikaveh

daily-spooky

triviallytrue

thepuppyclub

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID????? Kindest regards,

#txt

chatoyie

kiss kiss

#wriolette #genshin impact

rizsnt

so are we being normal about them or what

#genshin impact #wriolette

cfeather

light upon the sea

#genshin impact #xiao

shrimply must laugh...

#qtxt #personal

arahir

Hiii, I’m so sorry to bother you but I was just wondering if you made the decision to archive all of your sheith fics? Myself and others noticed a number drop in the ship tag and it seems like your sheith fics were put in a locked collection.

We’re just wondering if you did it or if somebody is tampering with your account.

I see that you posted this ask publicly on twitter in the hopes that I would answer it, so I'll do that!

We did private them, but it's exactly as you said: I see this isn't about my fic being gone. It's about the number in the tag going down.

ON FANFIC METRICS VS FUN

Forgive me, but I've gotta talk about this.

For six years it's been this over and over. I've heard more about ao3 numbers than any human should have to while in sheith fandom--as if "popularity" of a fic or a fandom or an author on ao3 equates to any tangible reason to love or hate someone or something. I've heard about kudos rankings and kudos to hits ratios and big authors and small authors and big fandoms and small fandoms and I'm over it. Fic writing is an act of insanity and love. If you do it for the numbers, you've lost the heart required to make your art. Content creation is not writing. If you don't love what you're doing, it will always show.

And it's all about "respect authors" and "they do this for free" and "don't be entitled" until we do something to take away access to our creations, right? It's been this way the whole time with you all. And just in this fandom, by the way.

ON HOW YOU ALL ARE ACTING

I'm sorry I messed with the numbers this time, I didn't realize everyone was watching that close. When I woke up this morning and realized everyone had been trying to reach a specific goal, I had a brief moment of wanting to bring the fics back to help but everything I've seen on twitter has absolutely nauseated me. The level of entitlement, the nasty talk, from people who have known me for six or seven years at this point? Over content? Over me taking away my own things? If my writing hundreds of thousands of words of compassionate, joyful stories for something you love gave me no credit with you, was I ever a person to you at all?

I'm a human, I am an adult. I have friends on twitter. They send me posts. We're all seeing this. You don't exist in a vacuum where you can treat people like content bots without consequence. There are other people who have been in sk fandom with me from the start. The reactions to this are not helping the fandom's image to any degree.

These fics were up for six or more years. I figured anyone who loved them enough to still read them had downloaded them, and if they didn't, they'd see them gone and send me a nice ask about it and I'd send them a fic link. I figured at least friends with access to my discord, tumblr, twitter dms, etc, would talk to me if they wanted to know more or discuss it. (I mean, dead honest, I did not think this would be an issue at all. I figured someone would notice in a week or so and ask for a link.)

That... so did not happen. You can only access my tumblr now if you're logged in, so I know every single anon in my inbox has had the ability to send me a nice, human, off-anon message about this.

One person did! And I gave them my fic.

WHY NOT JUST ANON OR ORPHAN?

Since people are publicly discussing this in a super polite way on twitter: because they're mine, and everyone knows that, and I want to keep them. I'm proud of them. But I think everyone talking about that is aware that both anoning and orphaning would have kept them in the tag count, and that's what this is really about.

Again, fic writing is an act of love and insanity. I never wrote for anyone but me. I was never writing for kudos or for popularity, or to fuck over other people in the fandom:

(Congrats. We were all that was holding you guys back, right? Come get your popularity. Or wait, did you want our content still?)

Our reasons for privating our fic are our own and like... any iota of compassion I had this morning for sharing them is GONE gone.

CAN I STILL GET YOUR FIC?

I don't have a problem with them being shared. Go ahead and enjoy them if you can find someone to give them to you. I won't be providing those to anyone else. Gonna just say fuck it and be brutally honest with this one: I don't have the stomach or time to deal with people sucking up to me to get my fic after they spent all day unfollowing me and shit talking me and my new fandoms all over twitter.

(And the people actively doing this while I asking for and sharing my fic over there, I see you. That's really cool. I love a good demonstration of a point.)

To the people who hate me for this now: I don't think you ever thought of me as a person more than a content machine in the first place; I'm good.

To people sad the number in the tag went down: I'm sorry, genuinely. I didn't realize it was still a numbers game, but I probably should have. Luckily, there is a fun way to fix this if you have enough love and insanity about something. Good luck!

Anyway, I'm generally shocked over how this has all played out. But if anything, the reaction has confirmed it was the best decision for me. Me, again, the human behind the screen who shared these stories with you out of nothing but love since 2017.