i wanna get better at wasting time

i wanna find something to melt my mind

[starlitcanvas]

about me!!

hi! my name is kai, and i’m a non-binary trans man. i use he/him and they/them pronouns, and i’m gay.

dni if you are:

a terf/radfem/tehm

truscum/transmed

racist

homophobic

islamophobic/anti-semitic/xenophobic

any other sort of bigot

please let me know if i reblog anything from anyone on this dni list!

[starlitcanvas]

this is my basic about! some more info:

i am 21

i am a theatre kid and am a fan of many musicals! the ones that i’m currently most prominently interested in are spies are forever, the guy who didn’t like musicals, and black friday. (i mostly post about them on @orjustasound )

most of what i post is random things i find funny or enjoy, in addition to petitions and donation places.

current hyperfixation: baldur’s gate 3, especially astarion

i also hope to convert to judaism in the future (probably within the next year or two) so i might occasionally post some things about judaism as well!

i have several side-blogs, but my most used are @charming-mlm @causeandcreate & @orjustasound

feel free to talk to me! i’d be super down for that!

[b4bych1st]

well… *pushes up glasses* i’m something of a fucking idiot myself 😏

[hemipenal-system]

thank your local trans girl for being alive right now

[hemipenal-system]

good job soldier. now turn around and thank your local trans boy for being alive right now

[hemipenal-system]

ok now turn to your nearest nonbinary person and thank them for being alive right now too

[mossworm]

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

[bemusedlybespectacled]

me every single week: I'll do it on the weekend!

me the entire weekend:

[of-the-astral-sea]

all of us rn

[wellen-katze]

Not the religious type - bg3 astarion comic

hope u enjoyed

[baldursgays3]

Dame Aylin x Isobel Thorm from BG3 ✰ inspired by these text posts (x x x) ✰ reminder that T*RFs can fuck off, only interact if you love trans & nb folks ♡

[greelin]

him saying “focus, darling.” well i would need to be euthanized

[greelin]

didn’t even put his name in the damn post

[grey-wardens]

I know you think this will set you free, but it won't. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador.

[solmesia]

thanks @fangsandfeels :)))

[owlbearwildshape]

Sceleritas Fel: be careful about who you confide in they might not like you anymore once they know :)

Astarion:

[madforhoran]

Astarion is a cuddler and Larian are cowards for only mentioning it in a dialogue… I wanna cuddle the crap out of the man *shakes fist*

[madforhoran]

#hc he has a very feline approach to it#in that he's very “oh well if we MUST cuddle I SUPPOSE since clearly you're twisting my arm” but secretly desperate for it#and also sometimes (often) he just ends up laying on your chest and will not be moved sorry you're going to die here#sometimes he also dramatically complains about dying again from lack of attention (cuddling) though#depends on the mood#or he's like my cats who refuse to take no as an answer and just keep politely but insistently creeping closer to you#until suddenly they're laying on your chest purring#point is he loves cuddling and is actually a cat in an elf trenchcoat @the-interplay-of-sex-and-violins

[invinciblerodent]

going slightly feral today for characters who don't think of themselves as being "~into~" touch and physical intimacy suddenly discovering that they actually are, in like an embarrassingly huge way

"oh fine, I'll indulge you, but I'll have you know that I'm not exactly cuddly, darling. 🙄" (proceeds to wrap themselves around their partner in their sleep like a boa constrictor) (yes this becomes a regular occurrence)

"no dear, I don't like hugs" (does, in fact, melt into each embrace with a soft sigh and eyes sliding shut, all gooey inside like a person-shaped fudge brownie)

"how juvenile. I'm not ticklish, I'm not a child. 😒" (starts convulsing with stifled laughter if their partner as much as wiggles their fingers in their general direction) (no they are very cool I promise)

"don't touch me 😒" (secretly pouts when their explicit wish is respected. no wait come back i didn't mean don't as in don't, i meant it as try harder. yes i know that's counterintuitive. no you should read my mind exactly. how is that even hard--)

"*makes a longing 🥺 face every time their partner is doing something just out of their reach, wanting to touch them but not wanting to come off as ~needy~*" (scoffs and turns away when asked if they want a hug) ((that means "yes please"))

"ugh, fine, but if you ruin my hair--" (all but tears up at having their scalp gently scratched. finds that they do not give a solitary shit about their hair now, actually.) (yes, they will now regularly plop their head in their partner's lap as a silent request for scritches. they're not cuddly, though.)

will not hold hands. will, however, knock shoulders while walking. (it means try again. it means please never stop trying.)

[vorestarr]

some durge/astarion things that make me feel possessed.

Astarion praying to every god for 200 years and getting no answer, and then finding out Durge was the one to free him with their evil scheme.

Durge meeting Astarion and thinking he'd be a perfect pretty corpse, and Astarion thinking they have an attractive air of desperation about them.

Astarion testing if he's free from Cazador's command to never drink from thinking creatures by sneaking up on a sleeping Durge, and then possibly accidentally killing them in the process when Durge agrees to let him feed from them.

Durge waking Astarion in the middle of the night to warm him that they want to kill him, and Astarion sitting up with them all night.

Durge telling Astarion they want to bite him, eat him raw, decorate him with rubies of blood, and Astarion telling them to ask before biting.

Scleritas Fel telling Durge that every man kills what he loves most.

"he's so scared of everything but you, who he ought to fear most."

Astarion admitting he was the most scared that night sitting up with Durge, not because Durge wanted to kill him, but because he thought Durge had been lost to their urges.

Astarion telling Durge they have more in common than he'd realized when he sees how they struggle with the urge taking them over.

Astarion feeling like a monster, carrying all that guilt and fear and anger, and here's Durge, an evil bastard whose evil plans managed to free Astarion from Cazador when no one else could or would, who loves Astarion so much they want to kill him, who is strong enough and cares about Astarion enough to fight by his side against Cazador and win, who gives Astarion hope that there's a future for an evil bastard like him too.

[justabiteofspite]

Something that's important to me to always include in any write ups about Durge is how fucking tired they must be all the time.

We know that lack of sleep can wreck havoc on your physical and mental health. And we also know that Durge's brain is fucked to begin with, both physically and inside their head with the urges.

Even nights where Shadowheart and Lae'zel aren't trying to kill each other, we know that Durge has horrible nightmares and doesn't have restful sleep.

And I mean, night time cuddles with their romanced partner are nice, and being bonded chemically with your partner can help with sleep, but after almost killing the person they love, how up for that is Durge going to be?

[steelart]

BG3 Comic: The Last Unicorn

Be Forewarned: Dark Urge Spoilers

This comic was inspired by the excellent idea of using The Last Unicorn dialogue for Astarion’s story from @fangsandfeels and the lovely comic made by @solmesia depicting it. You can see the original post here and the comic here.

When I read the original idea I thought that this also potentially works in reverse for a redemption Dark Urge who is horrified by their monstrousness. I did edit and add to the original dialogue for my own purposes.

(Also I really think it would have been cool if slayer form worked more like an uncontrollable werewolf-like curse rather than a gift you have to seek out.)

[cheekylittlepupp]

Constantly thinking about how when you play as durge and try breaking up with our precious vampire because you’re worried that you’ll kill him, Astarion says:

“Cazzador used his tortures to strike terror into me, but I’ve rarely been more afraid than on the night when I feared Bhaal had claimed you for good”

“But I trust you won’t kill me. And if you do, then I’ve gotten sloppy, and probably had it coming”

This man is risking his own life so he can be with you and he’s comparing the fear of losing you to the 200yrs of torture by Cazzador..oh my bad, losing you is worse “I’ve rarely been more afraid”

[insanityisthecure]

I love how honest he was about not knowing how to define this new kind of relationship within himself, when it would have been so easy and like he said - instinctual to lie and manipulate, and say "Oh I love you, you're everything to me." and I think about how scared he must have been, but he said it anyway.