The full story if you want to read it:
I have no bl00d. By Star-Punz!
My name is Zero, ok well that’s not actually my name it’s more of a john doe but you’ll understand soon enough as to why my identity will mean as much as this story, I go by the header of SONADOW123JJ, it summarizes the entirety of my teenage years into an unbelievable title that frankly, I was too lazy to ever change, so please just list me as Zero. I’ve always grasped a fascination with the Sonic the Hedgehog series for a reason, something about seeing him resonates with me as wanting to branch off into being someone free, no longer becoming a passenger in my life as waves after wave hit me, I’m sorry I’m monologuing, this is the story of the boy with no blood, not mine.
This all started around 2 years ago, as mentioned before I was an avid Sonic fan of all forms of his media, despite negative reception coined by all my friends and just the internet in general, I still regarded these games as something to clutch onto for my time of comfort, which lead into my obsession of wanting all forms of his media, anything. In the definition of the word, I guess you can say I was a hoarder, my friends often saw this as an issue with my fascination, but at the end of every month I gave some of these things away to children or schools, I know I’m growing up so eventually, I just gave it all away, and some of the more prized things onto listings in eBay. It was a step in my life that I thought would make my grandma proud, I didn’t want to disappoint her anymore so I needed to be an actual man for once, at least the one I try to hide as, just enough money to try and change that later.
The number of hours spent dumpster diving and begging on eBay listings were all going out of my own room as I tried getting ready for college, if anyone could try and convince me to stop me from what I was doing I would thank them, but I really needed the money, as stated before I was being housed by my grandmother, this story won’t explain why, situations are situations.
A week passed of me shelving out everything until I received a message listing the transaction of one of my prized possessions, one of the Sonic Adventure 2 soap shoes plushies, gosh those were so cool so I had to hop on the opportunity as soon as I got the notice, but the person buying it off of me was wondering if I was interested in receiving a novelty of his own that he’s been wanting to give away for a while. His name in this story is Tyler, an old rigid man past his prime who was collecting for the sake of reliving something that was lost to him.
zero: hello! you’re interested in purchasing my plushie is that correct?
tyler: yes that is correct, I’ve been hoarding for a while myself and have the payment already getting ready, but I was wondering as to why this was being listed at a lower price than normal
zero: obviously because auction goes out of control, I’m too scared to deal with any of that so just shadow dropping it was enough for me to get it over with, besides I can’t convince people even if I tried
tyler: I see, that’s quite honest of you, would you be interested in a sonic novelty? it’s a one of a kind copy of Sonic’s Virtual Learning, well, it’s not an actual game by SEGA it’s a Mexican company produced rip off to try and use sonic as a teacher
zero: so like sonic’s schoolhouse?
tyler: I guess the Spanish version, it’s sort of like a virtual pet, I can send it in a USB drive considering you’re losing out on some good money, I feel like this is something to compensate with
I thought to myself, what an odd thing to give someone on the internet, especially for free with ebay, I’m trying to let go of all of my things so this really won’t help, besides I was really craving to say yes so using this as a test of my strength was really something.
zero: I’m sorry but no, though I thank you for the offer
that was the last message before the toy was shipped off, my grandma always warned me about accepting things from strangers, even less something that could mess up the family computer as dumb as a USB drive, could have had anything in it.
2 weeks went by, I would say about 50% of my collection was already gone at this point, I was feeling like I was losing a part of me that I never thought I could live without. Though at times I did cry, nothing more I could do, a testament to how much I was trying to be someone I was not.
At the unspoken stage, even my grandmother didn’t want to admit it, so I just kept on selling what remained but that love still lingered, considering my lack of friends at the time, I could not concern myself with embarrassing myself more than I already do as of now, that was until I checked the mail in our apartment’s mailbox, room 34.
it was open, someone left it open, despite the keyhole insisting it should have been sealed. I reached into the container and saw a yellow envelope, no address delivered back or post, it was as if someone just reached into my mailbox to leave it there, which wasn’t possible considering the key is still in my pocket. I give the usual bills to my grandmother, including all but medical, I didn’t want her to know about the incident, so I was paying that myself.
I lodge myself into the darkness of my room again, sustaining myself with the necessary nutrients (just a cliff bar), scrolling through job applications, male position, male, male, male…mail…
I look over to the yellow envelope I left on the bed, I couldn’t be bothered more than I already was with having to turn over a new leaf, so it wouldn’t hurt, besides if it was a bomb then I wouldn’t have to worry about anything later. I peel the seal open with my long nails and pulls out the bubble wrapping, revealing a purple USB drive. Oh joy, I have an old man stalking me and he left me with his picture I thought to myself, actual sick people on the internet I knew I should have just blocked him.
I looked into the eBay account I listed the billing in, to contact Tyler again, however, eBay listed the account as unfound, The sick bastard covers his trails and thinks he can get away with it.
for a few days, I just left it rotting in my desk drawer considering I was too busy with finals, but it always lingered in my head, nothing could anticipate what remained in that file, I wasn’t willing to risk it, despite how many times I’ve been called a moron, even I knew this was too wrong to be in my possession. I go on over to the police station reporting that someone broke into my apartment’s mailbox, showing them my key and the USB, if it had anything in there that would go against the law, I could not be liable, not with the time I was having in my life right now, I didn’t need that.
Obviously, they didn’t pay much mind but just took the report, the USB, and 2 hours of my time in line.
A week later, I got a knock on my door, it was a loud banging on a Saturday afternoon, obviously, I had only my pajamas on so having to build the courage to open the door was too much, I pleaded with my grandmother to do so, she groaned but complied only to find an officer at the door, it was a lean woman wearing her uniform with a plastic baggie in hand.
officer: “Please tell your son to stop wasting our time. he left this stupid game at our offices complaining this was a warrant of a virus or something serious, even the boys down by the home didn’t think any of this was meant to be serious, we have actual things to tend to”
some of the words still ring in my ears, but not the ones you would think. My grandmama apologized and brought me over in my bunny slippers to do the same, before the officer left, as per usual, I was left with a bantered long over over-explaining lecture regarding how annoying I can be at times, I couldn’t care less at this point, by the time I left the kitchen she was already making dinner talking to herself about me.
At the end of the day I did my usual, nothing in particular but I finally got an interview ready for Tuesday, I felt really proud of myself for being able to find something in spite of the day I was having, but then it reminded me of why I felt this way, that damn drive. A joke? a big joke it was to them? I’m just an idiot who left it up to the police to handle these things so of course they’ll find it a joke, fine, i’ll fix it myself.
in an almost fit of rage I slammed the USB right into my PC’s import , just begging for it to be over at this point, but in spite of it, it started downloading something. I felt the adam’s apple on my throat grow tense as I gazed my LED screen, feeling a sense of regret wash me over even more considering I had potentially just wasted the only computer I’ll own in my life as long as I’m under this roof, but when it downloaded, it showed an icon of a set of blocks stacked on top of each other, starting from the top to the bottom reading, S, V, L..
Sonic’s Virtual Learning listed underneath on the application, so it really was the same guy who bothered me, had his account was still up I could probably try reporting him, but at this point it was a loss in even trying anything, as frustrated as I was, I was more intrigued than anything else, considering everything, I clicked twice on my mouse as I drag my pointer over the app.
The PC wasn’t the best at the moment, even behind a whole Window’s update, but it managed with the hardware itself being fairly old in retrospect.
The game booted up, with the logo of EDUCA-AYUDA on the front before my speakers blared me with the typical SEGA logo, piercing my ears with something I haven’t heard in quite a while considering I already sold my genesis console at this point, it felt, refreshing. The app itself began loading as it was installing more programs onto my computer, gosh what was I even thinking this is quite obviously a virus, why am I like this could I not have just been a son for once in my life and think with a decent brain? damn it the loading, why is it taking so long, I accepted the terms of service without reading anything why am I like this why why.
my heart rushed with anxiety, deciphering my future of trying to pay off this was already in the back of my brain, but I heard a squeaky accent speak out of my computer, a warp ring appeared above the clock on my computer, spinning in motion until Sonic the hedgehog leaped out of the portal. His sprite looked quite different, all of his tan skin was replaced with a radiant yellow, the cuffs on his gloves and socks were replaced with black, and he wore a red hat spelling out the words “JR”.
My eyes forced their attention to the rodent on my screen, as the cartoon looked around in my PC with his hands on his eyes forming goggles, until his eyes looked right at the screen, his pitch-black pupils staring at me with glee intent, he pulls his hands away and raise his left to form a greeting hello. in which case a windows tab opened up, listed as “SONIC JR’S THOUGHTS”, appropriately showing a thought bubble in the tab surrounded with a black void, in which case he said.
”HOLA, YO ME LLAMO SONICO. JR! Y TU ERES?”
underneath was a textbox in which I could respond, I pulled out my phone to use google translate to uncover his question, for the sake of this telling, I wrote Zero.
”QUE BIEN! QUE BIEN! HABLAS ENGLIS OR ESPANOL?”
”AH! ENTIENDO! I WILL TALK TO YOU IN ENGLISH TO LEARN: SPANISH!”
it sounded like a small child trying his best to form english sentences, I found the entire thing quite adorable considering I was needing help to even understand him
”ARE YOU A BOY? NINO? OR GIRL? NINA?”
I looked on over to my left, then to the my right, answering the correct response
”QUE BIEN! QUE BIEN! THAT MEANS, HOW GOOD, OR, JUST GOOD!”
”MI NOMBRE, MY NAME, ES, IS, SONICO JUNIOR!”
I giggled at the sight of this little man on my desktop, noticing how much attention I haven’t been giving this media in quite a long time, I answered the text box underneath with “nice to meet you!”
”ITS GREAT TO MEET YOU ZERO! ARE YOU READY TO PLAY A GAME WITH ME?”
he replied as he jumped in a spin above my soundbar, he really was like a virtual pet, before I could find a way to respond, a timer began to countdown with a sans seriff font starting from 3
once the countdown was done, I met with a JR on the left of my screen getting ready as my PC automatically articulated a stage using other windows opened on my screen, all trailed with letters as a replacement for rings, spelling out, F A M I L I A
once it hit zero, a timer showed up filling in 10 seconds, my fingers were already pressed against the right button and using space to form out the word, as each word flew to the top of my screen, jumping on top of each window using them as solid ground. At the end he reaches his hands out and smiles.
”FAMILIA! FAMILY! THATS WHAT WE ARE! ALL OF US! TODOS!”
it was already 9 in the afternoon, feeling the weight of school in the morning swept away as I continued to play with the virtual hedgehog. I learned that the mouse was in fact more interactable with the character than I thought, whenever I placed it on top of his head and rubbed against his ears, he enjoyed the petting from me, I was also able to drag him around the windows, placing him down or above windows, even inside of some browsers. Obviously, it was not compatible with the everything, but it was so fun seeing him trying to push images across the screen out of my chrome bar. 12:34 pm, after a long day in order to log SONICO off of my computer, I would press on the giant X on the right corner of my screen, he would start to feel drowsy, yawn and tell me “BUENAS NOCHES!”, walking right off to the right of my screen to not be seen, following the window of SVL closing entirely.
Before I turned off my PC for the night, I found a txt. file on the side of my tabs that loaded as soon as my other applications turned off, I double-clicked it to show a drawing done in Microsoft paint, utilising the paint tool to show Sonico jr poorly shown on screen, waving me with a smile, on the left saying “BUENAS NOCHES!”
This did instill within me some joy as I saved the drawing into a new folder, before logging off for the night.
A few days passed by in which every day, I would run in on my challenges for the game while auctioning off all the rest of my things, after this interaction in finding this USB drive, I didn’t want to risk anyone seeking me, but even if the game itself could have had something in it, It gave me a sense of comfort I haven’t felt since starting my collection. Each night before I logged off he would provide me a drawing made by him, as if it were something a child were to show me to be placed on a fridge, each one titled with the exact date of my progress, this went on for a week as I continued his challenges, resulting in me learning some more Spanish that I didn’t think I needed to know, it really helped my exams. By Sunday, I would come into the application just to see Sonico JR run around on my computer as I continued my schoolwork, considering I was already in a job at this point from the interview, starting Monday I wasn’t going to be able to have as much time as I wish to have had with JR. Something in peculiar happened however as he began looking at my work, at the time I was in Anatomy filling out my work, I really wanted to be a nurse at this point so my studies were solely focused on trying to gain enough so that I was applicable for a scholarship, but I was stuck on one of the questions, i was not familiar with searching up answers, i needed to know more.
we were following the subject on the heart, one of the questions being “what is the very large veins that bring deoxygenated blood to your heart to get oxygen?”
”THE SUPERIOR VENA CAVA AND INFERIOR VENA CAVA”
the thought bubble showed up unprovoked, I had placed him on the side of the window for a reason, but he had answered it by himself. I filled in the bubble from the multiple choice question in, congratulating in me getting the right answer, SONICO JR continued to do nothing but jump up and down from window to window, until I was stuck on another question.
silence fell in the air as I saw him do it one more, this time in a monotone voiced pitch that was filled from the rodent, I looked on over to the choices, before pressing on the answer. I felt my heart drop from my body, sweat pouring in not from my head to the chin, I pressed on, before I could even read the question he answered again.
I try to file in the answer but it was already pressed for me, had I already pressed it on accident? I did pay attention to junior and my hand was still on the mouse, perhaps this is part of the treatment process, I pressed forward.
I didn’t even scroll to the next question, i was simply staring at my screen, perplexed by the compelling usage of this artificial hedgehog, I looked right at him, it felt like he was trying to pretend he wasn’t there, like he was playing with me and me only for what? a kick? does he think I’m too stupid to even try it myself? I felt the revelation in my skin shiver down to my bones, does he want to play a game with me?
In an effort to show him where I stood, I quickly dragged my mouse above his head and began lifting him in the air, flying around the screen shaking my mouse, dragging it back and forth watching him dangle on my cursor for dear life.
When I was done having my fun, I think I kind of had a panic attack, did I just hurt him for trying to help me? Why was I having so much fun applying this to him? Everything I do will be just like him won’t it?
I got off the computer for a moment to go to the bathroom, feeling an illness in my stomach creep over, comprised of guilt.
Dinner passed, in which I came back to my desk only to find Junior gone, but the X on the right was still right there, hurriedly, I search in my folders to try and find him, in which case I remembered the drawings folder, it was gone as well. I felt a sudden shock as I looked into the recycling bin, finding the folder inside, I recover the images from the bin and heard a sound of sobbing. I looked everywhere in the folders to try and find him, until I accidently pulled aside the window I was doing my homework on, he was hiding behind it. I click X on the tab and slowly place my cursor beside his head, slowly caressing his head in an effort to comfort him, a thought appeared.
the sonic cartoon slowly hugged the mouse, feeling the comfort of the white cursor embracing him as I continued to pet him. That night I didn’t turn him off, I was to keep him on at all times to apologize, but most importantly, to monitor him, something scared me, but it seemed like he was more afraid of me than anything else. A few minutes later it was like he was back to his natural state, shouting in Spanish sonic catchphrases as he played around on my window, even during my homework he wasn’t continuing to answer any of my questions on the papers. I thought to myself as to how I can engage him on my work, remembering how he was able to access only the folders that came from his drawings, i placed the multiple choice review in the drawings folder for him to hopefully do.
The night came, in which case I left him on as promised, but found in the folder a copy of my homework, filing every answer correctly, but showing doodles of the heart on the side of the paper, he was learning alongside me, it was a fascinating discovery until I reached down to the bottom of the paper, reading a title that had not been seen in my heart for years. “mother.”
Before I could question Junior, I watched as he exited the stage right. Nothing entailed right after, I felt as though I had grasped the eeriness of the situation.
Days followed, I started working over the course of a week, completely forgetting about the boy left on my computer, I thought to myself that I had already done enough to him, if he really was alive inside, then it was better left alone than to disturb him.
I get back home Thursday with my grandmother already waiting for me, knocking me on the head with a newspaper as she pointed right at the computer before leaving, it seemed like cat was out of the bag at this point, but no harm in having a bit of fun considering the long day I’ve had, Junior was in no means a virus, just a boy. He was just a boy. At that moment before I turned on the monitor it dawned upon me, I had left him alone for a week, I had left him to his own thoughts confided for the sole amusement being all of my files, what could he have learned in that time? I felt as though I had left him, I went to quickly log into my account. Loading in, nothing of any interest was any different, except the fact that the X on the top right had been clicked, junior was gone and it was all my grandmother’s fault, had I done something sooner I should have known he wouldn’t be ok alone, but then I remembered, every day he would leave a drawing for me, something to communicate with, was he generating something more? Dragging my shivering fingers to the folder, I open the images finding a trailing of images. these are the following.
-an image of a boy holding the hands of his father and mother beside a beach-
-the boy alone on the beach-
-the boy alone on the beach with his mother, the father on an island alone from the family-
but this was where the drawings ended, it was curious considering this was in peculiar considering 4 days had gone by, only 3 drawings were shown in the folder, but I see that there was another modified copy of the heart anatomy homework that I had left for Junior to discover inside, I clicked on it and began reading.
he was learning, he began breaking down more and more about the human heart, where the vessels originated from, he was slowly forming out blood as a concept familiar to human survival, inscribing with the paint tool, stating
”does my heart beat the same as mama?”
questions lingered as he began trying to adapt to more of my language from my answers in the document, I scrolled to the end of the file, it was originally an empty blank page meant for filling your name, but what I found was an identity the same as the one I would have written. He had drawn an entire human circulatory system, articulating by reds and blues naming each one our, with the heart missing from the in depth analysis on the human body.
I placed the document to the side before booting up SVL one more time, hearing the two introductions once more, I was greeted by him on the ground, the monitor had turned into the typical blue screen but there was no error message, just him in the middle of it. I gazed upon the child as he looked right at me, I knew it was him staring at me because my webcam had turned on, a window popped up with my face right on it, staring right at him. He looked at me for a moment, incapable of having to witness what was facing him at this very moment, I slowly placed my hand on the camera, in which he did the same, his back turned to me on the monitor but his palm up against mine on the window.
it was another question, the same as the one from the beginning when he was teaching me Spanish, I knew the answer was spelled out from the beginning.
the boy stared at the answer as I typed it in, I wasn’t able to input the answer as he was fully capable of just looking at it himself, his reality was comprised of a 2 dimensional box, I was the only thing he will and has ever known in this void, it was reckless of me leaving him, but why do I feel sorry? This virus is forcing me to care for a program, it was forcing me to do something that no one had ever done to me, no one had cared to do for me. My fingers shake as I stared right at the camera, I slowly pulled it back before looking down, Junior stared at me in confusion
I had to let go of him, I had to let go of this obsession, I was not to be tied from a simple file that believes it is more, he cried. He made those sounds that imitated crying, he was trying so hard to be human he was trying so hard to be something he wasn’t, something that he could never be, he thinks it’s so easy to be someone he isn’t, this conclusion resorted to my defiance, I had already set out on what I was going to do. Junior saw my realization, he popped another question.
I placed my hands on the keyboard, I felt the shivering down my spine as I stared at this question, he was trying so hard to understand me, to understand what I had lost, why did he have to mock me? He knows everything about me because he’s seen everything in my computer, my photos of my family, my freedom, he saw why I was nothing.
In a fit of rage, I grabbed the keyboard, slamming it against the PC, pleading for him to get out as he felt the internal software begin to break in itself, his cries began growing louder and louder, his pain was my pain, something I had to hide for the rest of my life. I pulled the cover of the PC to the internal software and began tearing into it, I smiled.
As I lowered my keyboard, a tear ran down my cheek as I felt it, I had killed my boy.
I looked down at him, the monitor, it had already taken shape of him, broken, shattered glass splattered across the floor trying to find it’s place.
I grabbed it against my chest, crying as I felt no warmth, he was cold.
For a month straight I was no longer permitted to any activities outside of school and work, trying to pay off the computer so that my grandmother could properly file her medication and taxes, in which case I resorted to driving her to the local library. My chest still hurt sometimes, feeling the cuts against my chest, I tried to lie and say a robber got in but she knew better than anyone I just wasn’t well, she would have called the police had I not just looked as pathetic as I did, all I had left was my phone to know when to pick her up. She always insisted I was better off at an asylum, but what could I do beside agree with her in silence, it was half past nine by the time we got back home after a long day at the bank trying to file a loan, I lept to the couch as my grandmother sat beside me, both of us exhausted from the tribulations it came with affording to live. She looked down at me, almost in pity,
my eyes were too busy staring at the ceiling fan to even acknowledge her, it felt almost draining just listening to any more voices. That was until there was one last sound, a notification from my phone, it was an email, I’ve only started using them now due to the adult world I’m trying to put myself in, but this one was quite odd, it was an email to myself? I checked it to view what it could ential, only to be shocked that the message itself said it was sent out to 100+ other accounts, it was so strange until I saw it correlated to the student email, all of them, in my school. The email itself?
it was a drawing by junior. it was the husk of a body with only the circulatory system showing, with the reds and blue trailing behind the rest of what he was, what he wanted to be, a man. With the words on the bottom being:
he had logged into my school account, managed to send a message to the virtual world that transcends his own, that he had started to become something more, he was growing, he was becoming god in a world where no one can hear him scream, but me.
