[deseos-de-la-via-lactea]

source

[utah-mountain-drifter-deactivat]

[factbot]

[despazito]

the second radish is 29 feet away

[tranarchist]

[kompanie-mutter-deactivated2021]

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

[grabmybush]

something something shane nagging ilya about eating healthy and quitting smoking and ilya just needs a fucking nicotine hit and (softly) snaps ‘why do you care so much? i’ll just do it outside and shower after’ and shane looks him dead in the eye and says ‘im not letting you chip years off your life when we’ve already wasted 9’ and ilyas just like yeah oh fuck he wants me for as long as he can get me and quits smoking and starts doing yoga even when it feels like his legs are going to fall out from under him because he doesn’t want his last thoughts to be regret for time lost

[nymanas]

[comingatthecottage]

shane hollander voice: i mean obviously i have to be Good. and it's totally no problem to walk through the desert for a hundred miles repenting, i'm great at that. my body isn't even a soft animal and it doesn't love or want anything and never will.

[amnesiaguy]

so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

[amnesiaguy]

weird as hell, thank you for asking

[fallingtowers]

"grackle" really is a perfect name for a bird. knocked it out of the park w/ that one

[clairenovvak]

i don’t believe teenage girls learn about gay fanfiction i think they each individually create the idea in their head first

[pingo1387]

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

[starrieslight]

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[asphor]

I really loved this bit

[firstprinced]

@yearnalisms requested to bring this beautiful text post by @honeyybrii to gif form! all inspo credit to op of the text post! 💜 this tag is especially a good sum up of the set:

#it's genuinely so funny everytime ilya tries to teeheehaha around an insecurity #shane is like actually 🤓👆🏻

[lilylikeswords]

@heatonice I have no self restraint and too much free time. I apologise... (there's also a baby Ilya and an adult Ilya now)

[snowsmoked]

Yuna showing Ilya photos of little baby Shane and they get to a photo of a naked two year old Shane grinning at the camera, shirt held up in his triumphant chubby fist. Yuna smiles and tells him how hard it was to keep clothes on Shane and that he’d rip them off whenever they weren’t looking. Without thinking Ilya says “so not much has changed, huh?” and then freezes because he can’t believe he just said that in front of his boyfriend’s mom until Yuna laughs so hard she spills her wine.

[darlingofdots]

people who definitely know that Hollander and/or Rozanov have A Thing With A Man (of variably certain identity):

various dentists

hotel housekeeping staff

the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)

cleaners and laundry service employees

a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?

Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella

the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game

employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"

one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job

Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood

the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain

the apprentice of the bespoke jeweller's shop a week before that when he recognises the ring he watched his boss make for Shane Hollander sitting on Ilya Rozanov's bare chest in a post-game interview on TV

[iero]

I am always thinking about this slow fucking hockey player with beautiful freckles. And a weak backhand. A weak backhand? Yes, very weak. And, he's so boring and he drives this terrible car! It's a normal car! I am always wishing that these women were him.

HEATED RIVALRY 1.02 | 1.06

[starrieslight]

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