This isnât a mashup, itâs a premotion of the future

#extradirty

if i look back, i am lost
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@starry-eyed-sagittarius
This isnât a mashup, itâs a premotion of the future
your name catches in my throat when i tell my mother i spoke to you again. she never mentions you unless i bring it up. part of me is thankful. i never explained the whole story to her, in hopes she could already read it from my eyes.
i choke out the word love followed by your name when i try to explain to my best friend why i cant seem to find interest in this boy. he's not you, i want to say. but the words dont come out right. i can barely make a sound. her eyes search for something in my mine, and i pray she can just see it.
saying it out loud feels wrong. like every one of my friends will turn to scream at me to move on. i did move on, i did. i have not stopped moving since. but with every step i take to try to escape you, i only come right back around. you can walk as far you want, but the world is only so big. soon enough you'll be back where you started.
missing you feels wrong, but everyone who came before couldnt see me like you do. i spent so long chasing people who never could have looked at me the way you do. the way you used to. i wish i could find it in me to tell you everything i wanted to. instead, i followed your advice, and i ran from you.
i travel around my world and end up right back home//z.k.
half a decade later and still relevant.
đĄđđ§ đŻđđŻđ§ đđĄ
âall of my hard work and studying will pay offâ
like = charge
reblog = cast
good grades spell đđ«
all of your hard work will pay off. those restless nights spent worrying about tests. those long weekends when your back hurts because youâve been sitting at your desk so long. the panic that you got something wrong, how tired you feel after studying. it will all pay off. you have exactly the grades you want. you are a hardworking student, you have reached your goals, and you are proud of yourself.
like to charge, reblog to cast. đ
Money emoji spellđȘ
đ«đžđżđČđ„đ”đȘđ”đ„đČđżđžđ«
Money comes to me easily and safelyđž The money I spent is returned to me threefoldđȘ
Blessed be!
i love you as the moon loves the night and as the sun loves the sea. i love you as the sea loves the sand and the sand loves the gulls. i love you as the redwoods love the fog and the fog loves the bay and the bay loves the bridge. i love you as the stars love the dust that made you, i love you as the heart loves to beat and as the beat loves the music. i love you as deep as oceans and as vast as valleys. you are my earth in orbit. you are my heart in human form. i love you in a way that makes me transcend the moments i live in. i love you as your eyes meet mine and as your hands lock between my fingers. i love you in a way that is changing me. i love you with a love that extends beyond my reach, one that touches every corner of the universe. i love you as the romantics loved the stars and as the poets love the paper. i love you in poetry, in a cacophony of symphonies. i love you, bare feet on creek beds and hands in cold water. i love you, stealing glances at me from my side, kissing me softly, holding me in your strong, safe arms. i love you from your irises to your curls to your laugh to your horrible jokes to your boundless intelligence. i love you as the little kids we were. i love you as the people we are now. i love you more than i ever planned, i love you more than i knew i was capable of. i love you beyond myself. you are, as i said, my heart in human form. you are my best friend. thank you for loving my fractures and my joys all the same. i love you. more than you could know.
-zk
what do i call it when i am missing someone i fear ever facing again. how do i say âi loved you for so long, i resented you for a quarter of that time back, i never wanted to see you again.â when i hear your real singing voice on some old facebook post, because you were always too self conscious to sing aloud with me.
i have so many questions left over. i think we could have been unstoppable had you stayed by my side. your ego tore your soul away from me.
i watched you grow up. i watched you grow bitter. i watched the world beat you to a pulp and you laugh and call it godâs work. and i watched you walk away.
i hope the surgery went well. i hope your dad is nicer than he used to be. i hope you keep singing.
my offer is still open, you know. coffee, maybe, when youâre back in town. i know youâll never see a cup and turn it down.
hey there!!! i need more practice with my cards, so i'm willing to do free tarot readings!!! i will do a spread of 3+ cards depending on your situation and question. inbox and asks are open for it! thanks loveliesâĄ
blessed imbolc! this is my universal playlist for spellwork, sabbats, esbats, etc. for anyone to listen to and take a look at my practicing music đ±đâš
the skies look like san francisco and all i want is to be on the coast. or in your arms. whichever i can get to first. last night i heard thunder twice and the clouds turned this dark blue-grey and i knew you were out there somewhere. like lighnting a flash of worry sparked its way across my chest. i wanted to tell you to please be safe and stay out of the cold but thatâs not where we are yet. itâs too much. itâs too much to say i care about you so much because i donât want to admit i am falling. head over heels and off the cliff face. i keep asking you to please wait please wait i swear iâm not going to leave you but iâm not ready for everything yet. slow down. youâre scared of heights. iâm scared of racing into oblivion. this town is only so big baby and you and i have all the time in the world. letâs get out of the city. fall in love with the tides and scrape the skies ourselves. if weâre going to be fogged in, iâd rather be overcast with you.
i am young and i say: the stars are but a mere blanket across the sky. you play cup pong till the sun sets. spending hours laying on the queen size mattress, you laugh until your ribs ache. these sweltering downtown days are becoming few and far between.
in a month, i would tell you: she leaves. she spits on every memory you made together. she looks you in the eye, rips open your breastbone with an ice pick, carelessly removes your still beating heart, and throws it on wet concrete. you watch yourself bleed out as she walks over it.
in two months, i would tell you: you catch her staring you down everytime you speak. her clique already left all their knives in the block of your back. she stops coming to classes. you have convinced yourself that you didnât need that old heart she stole, but everyday you pass the stained asphalt. the sting is inviting.
in ten months, i would tell you: you havenât shaken her off. you tell her happy birthday. she says thank you after berating you. she moves across the ocean. youâre finally convinced you can breathe.
in a year and two months, i will tell you: those days down on the boulevard are long extinct. you have realized every rib aching laugh was nothing but the crackle of fractures in your fragile heart. you stopped visiting your cardiac grave. the heart you have now is healthier and brand new. she never laid her dirty hands on it.
in a year and two months and twenty seven days, i am telling you: you do not know how mistreated you are until the scar tissue forms. you do not know how much you can heal until you notice you have been broken.
-zk
left to be forgotten
Whew!!!! đ„”đ„”đ„ Your "myths about tarot and astro" blew my mind and clarified so many things for me. I'm still digesting some of them but can I kindly request the same post for spells? Your blog's the best! Have a rocking awesome weekend, lady diana! đ€đ€đ€đž
Top 20 Myths About Spellcasting
1)Â All spells are genuine and powerful.
2)Â Blood magic is archaic and disgusting.
3)Â There are two kinds of magic: black and white.
4)Â Vengeance spells are black magic.
5)Â White magic will not cost you a thing.
6)Â A spell will last as long as it says on the book.
7) Any concoction any witch makes is a potion.
8)Â Store-bought talismans will work automatically.
9)Â Anything in the house can be used for magic.
10)Â You can tweak any spell and it will still work.
11)Â Casting for others is just like casting for yourself.
12)Â Any witchâs pet is automatically a familiar.
13)Â Any notebook with spells in it is a grimoire.
14)Â Any published spell book is real and trustworthy.
15)Â You should perform spells as often as you like.
16)Â Only women can excel in witchcraft.
17)Â Devotees have no advantage over others.
18)Â Witches having long hair is just a literary trope.
19)Â Anyone who sets their mind to it can do it.
20)Â Anyone who says they can do it, can really do it.
đŻđâïž.
Hey now, youâre an all star
listen to what I orchestrated
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please dear god put this masterpiece on spotify