Command Golds, Science Blues, and Engineering Reds
@startrekacademy2161
Here is a blog dedicated to all things Star Trek, including Imagines, FanFiction, etc. You can check out my earlier Star Trek pieces here at Ravenna's FanFiction. Feel free to send requests and Ask Questions! Masterlist
Chris Pine: Yeah I mean I’m NAMED Kirk and I’m gonna have SOME of Kirk’s personality traits but I am trying to somewhat make my own character
Zachary Quinto (in his oddly high pitched voice): I WILL be emotive because I MUST portray Spock’s inner turmoil! But not too much! Still gotta stay true to the character!
A/N: I posted this to AO3. This is a Song!Fic based off Savior by Rise Against. I do not own any of the characters or the song. This is my first story here in a very long time, go easy on me. Enjoy :)
“It kills me not to know this, but I've all but just forgotten what the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them,” Jim leaned back on his stool as McCoy poured them each another round. Jim had loved you so much, yet now looking back, he scarcely remembered the things that made you you. Leonard didn’t have to say anything, he just regarded the Captain silently. Jim didn’t need to hear what wise words the doctor could have imparted, Jim already knew that he had missed out on the greatest thing in his life because you had both been young, dumb, and toxic to each other.
As the telling signs of age rain down
A single tear is dropping
Through the valleys of an aging face
That this world has forgotten
You sat at the bar like you did most nights in the town that had alway been your prison. You had had huge dreams and unimaginable goals for yourself, but you had never acted on any of it. Maybe you had always hoped that he would saunter back into that bar one night and tell you that he loved you. You had heard that he went on to become Captain of a starship. He had long since moved on from you, why couldn’t you do the same.
There is no reconciliation
That will put me in my place
And there is no time like the present
To drink these draining seconds
Leonard can tell that the Captain had had enough to drink. Jim always grabbed up his comm badge and tried to call you, but no one knew where to find you and Leonard hoped that you had moved on.
Guilt. That was the only emotion that Jim could muster up where you were mentioned. He had been so stupid and so wild. Had he dialed it back a few notches, maybe you would have been right there with him.
Flashback:
But seldom do these words ring true
When I'm constantly failing you
Walls that we just can't break through
Until we disappear
“(Y/N), will you just stop?” you flung the last of your clothes into your suitcase and you just needed your keys. “Can we please just talk about it? I said I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was tonight.” You stopped in your tracks and glared at Jim. He was so arrogant and full of himself, of course he didn’t remember something that was about you. For you.
Jim had missed dinner with you and your parents. He was supposed to meet them tonight since you two had been dating for several months. An hour had passed and your parents had tried to be polite and patient. Two hours came and went and your parents took pity on you and came up with a reason they could stick around.
So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
'Cause I don't know
“How can you stand here and tell me you didn’t know it was tonight? You picked the restaurant. You made the reservations!” You shoved past him, bag in hand and ran out the door before he could try to talk his way out of his mess.
“I understand why you hate me, (Y/N), I really do,” he grabbed your arm as you went to hop in your truck, “Can we please talk? I don’t want us to leave it like this. Where will you go?”
That's when she said
"I don't hate you boy, I just want to save you. While there's still something left to save" Jim dropped his hand. Was he so far gone? She was giving up on him.
That's when I told her,
"I love you girl, but I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have" With that she got in the truck and peeled out.
And the day pressed on like crushing weights
For no man does it ever wait
Like memories of dying days
That deafen us like hurricanes
The next morning, Jim woke up with what could only be described as the mother of all hangovers. Leonard had stopped pouring, but that hadn’t stopped Jim for going back to his quarters and continuing the Pity Party for one.
He ambled into the MedBay where a very unimpressed Leonard McCoy sat waiting.
“It’s like clockwork with you, Jim.” Leonard grabbed him by the shoulders and guided him to the nearest biobed. “Just once I wish you would remember to stay hydrated while drinking so the entire crew doesn’t find out that their captain is hungover again.”
“Five years in space. It was supposed to be a good time. It was supposed to be adventure.” Jim laid back on the bed, hoping the room would stop spinning. “Now I am alone, and everytime we discover something new, the only thing I can think is ‘(Y/N) would have loved this’.” Jim glanced at Leonard. Of course the Deep space solitude was getting to even their fearless leader.
“Jim, did you ever try calling her? Did you ever reach out?” Leonard was an expert at failed relationships. Communication was something that had always been lacking in his marriage and he knew that the Jim of their youth may have never shut up, but that didn’t mean he was saying what needed to be said.
Bathed in flames we held the brand
Uncurled the fingers in your hand
Pressed into the flesh like sand
Now do you understand?
"I don't hate you boy, I just want to save you. While there's still something left to save" He remembered her (Y/E/C) as the nameless foe took aim. His last thoughts were of the fight you had. His one regret out of all the stupid things he had done, was letting you down. He hoped that wherever you were, you had found happiness with someone who treated you right.
"I love you girl, but I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have" Jim mumbled to himself as a warm, swirling energy surrounded him.
One thousand miles away
There's nothing left to say
But so much left that I don't know
We never had a choice
This world is too much noise
It takes me under
It takes me under once again
Naturally his mother knew where to find you. So when he called and told her of his plans to fly planet side to see you as soon as the mission was over, she knew right where he should look. You weren’t sitting at the bar tonight, you were behind it. You had sat there for so long that you could run that place almost single handedly with little training. Jim took a seat at the far end, near the door in case he chickened out. That became unlikely when a familiar frame took up residence next to him.
“Moral support, before you ask. And also, you aren’t getting out of it that easily. I have heard you moan and groan about her for years. Do something about it.” Bones didn’t look at Jim, just flagged you down so he could order.
“What can I,” you trailed off when you saw Jim sitting there too, “What will it be gentlemen?” Putting on your best customer service voice, you got their orders and walked away. Some patrons noticed the lack of banter that you usually had with the folks at the bar, but they just assumed that Jim and Bones were Fleeters. You usually kept it short and sweet with starfleet personnel. No one new why.
You brought the drinks and burgers back to the duo and went about your bartending.
“You really messed that one up, Jim. She hasn’t acknowledged us and my pint is suffering for it.” Leonard flagged you back down and you took your sweet time coming back to their end of the bar. “Can I get another? I’m going to need it, I think.” You chuckled.
“With your choice of friends, I don’t doubt that.” You poured the second pint for Bones and brought it back. “On the house, Doc.”
“How did you,” you just winked and walked away. You wouldn’t admit to how closely you followed Jim’s career. Most of the senior officers aboard the Enterprise could be easily identified by you with just a glance at this point.
“(Y/N). Outside. Now.” Jim apparently was feeling a type of way now and you nodded to the cook to hold down the fort while you dealt with Jim.
“What the hell, Jim?” you crossed your arms over your chest and set in on him before the door had even shut. You heard McCoy whistle. “I haven’t heard from you in years… Years, Jim,” you were getting closer and closer to him with every word.
Jim didn’t say anything, just grabbed you and pulled you in for a kiss. The smack was expected. The second kiss was not.
I don't hate you
I don't hate you, no
They still had much to discuss and much more to work through, but at least it was clear to both of them that the other was not happy and that they still loved each other.
Would I love to let my husband do everything? Of course?
But this absolute GIANT of a man after TEN YEARS together still has no spatial awareness and NO AWARENESS that his a A FOOT AND A HALF taller than me. If he is left to put thing away, he will do so diligently but he PUTS EVERYTHING ON THE TOP SHELF and my TINY TREX ARMS CAN NOT MAKE THAT TRIP
I threw out my back and he’s now convinced that it’s his fault for letting me carry paper plates in the house my self and that he’s going to be a terrible father
This man has a LAW DEGREE and is a PRACTICING ATTORNEY
Me: a lot of people on the internet are calling you a himbo, would you like to respond?
Husband: I am often very dumb, and I do drink the respect women juice like fine wine, however I am not very strong, and I just don’t know if I can accept this title if I do not meet all the qualifications
Me: I don’t know, you lifted all those boxes on your own
I’ve read him some of these replies and he got very upset and yelled (which if you know my husband is barely over a whisper) “I CANT MARRY YOU ANY HARDER I KNOW IVE GOOGLED IT MANY TIMES”
I have heard this man yell exactly one time in my life and it was when I installed a fabreeze air freshener robot without telling him and I accidentally put it at exactly his mouth hight
I heard a squeal and then he yelled
“THIS DUMB ROBOT JUST SPRAYED PERFUME IN MY MOUTH!”
and then he apologized to me and the robot for his tone 😂
While the intentions of this post are good, please read the comments on this. This may end up doing the exact opposite of helping someone by taking their posts or blog down etc. Sometimes this site is the only outlet for people struggling and so it’s much better to reach out/message them if you can, especially if you know any resources to help them that will be more than the standard hotline/help-line recordings etc.
While the intentions of this post are good, please read the comments on this. This may end up doing the exact opposite of helping someone by taking their posts or blog down etc. Sometimes this site is the only outlet for people struggling and so it’s much better to reach out/message them if you can, especially if you know any resources to help them that will be more than the standard hotline/help-line recordings etc.
The two-week self-quarantine ends today, and Spouse and I will at last be able to leave the apartment and go for a WALK! OUTSIDE! after working hours and I suddenly know exactly what it feels like to be inside the mind of a Golden Retriever
