KIROKAZE
almost home
Origami Around
No title available
dirt enthusiast
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Janaina Medeiros
styofa doing anything
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Kaledo Art
roma★
hello vonnie
occasionally subtle
Cosimo Galluzzi
NASA
One Nice Bug Per Day
taylor price
Three Goblin Art
d e v o n
Game of Thrones Daily
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
@steakfromhatefarm
Thought crimes aren't real, telepaths don't exist, and even if they were and do, having your head constantly play "Fly me to the moon/Let me kick its fucking ass/Let me show you what I learned/In my moon jiu-jitsu class" on repeat while out and about in public isn't illegal
@dyslexicorn
I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies
I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.
Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.
@dyslexicorn
Historically, one of the most reliable sources of widespread banditry was rulers ramping up military recruitment for major wars, then cutting their soldiers loose afterwards without pay, leaving a bunch of heavily armed men with military experience floating around broke and homeless.
Knowing this, whenever someone jokingly refers to raccoons as "trash bandits", I get a vivid mental image of, like, a raccoon succession crisis leading to a raccoon civil war, the aftermath of which forced the former soldiers of the losing side (who are all raccoons) to take up the life of the raccoon outlaw.
@dyslexicorn
It actually was like a really good business idea but we had to close down the voodoo doll massage parlor after one of our clients left and we forgot that their doll was still activated (the light was off so it seemed off) and we threw it in the trash which made our client fly off of a cliff IRL really tanked our safety rating with the city planning community and the witches booreau. But other than that nothing but great reviews on Yelp
@dyslexicorn
don’t worry about it
@dyslexicorn
generational tweet
@dyslexicorn
@dyslexicorn
amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)
This is back on my dash! And listen, I love to see Amir Khusrau getting appreciation, but this translation ignores a lot. The original rhymes! And scans! And does playful things with register! And conveys a tone of affectionate banter between the two speakers, not least because it has them both addressing each other as sakhi (translated above as “girl”) in the last two lines. I think taking some liberties with line order is worth it to preserve more of the rest—and I think there’s a better translation of sakhi. And so:
He only visits once a year, I splurge big on him when he’s here, His kisses make my tastebuds tango. Who, bitch, your man? Nah, bitch, a mango.
@dyslexicorn
“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore
i made this image for the express purpose of this
@dyslexicorn
he inspires me
For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."
Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.
Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.
Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.
The best part is the local city council's reaction.
And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.
@dyslexicorn
when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil
@dyslexicorn
Went to the pharmacy to buy my depression meds but I was also buying draino for my shower and the pharmacy ringing me up goes "that too?" And I said "yeah just in case the meds don't work" and she did not laugh
@dyslexicorn
@dyslexicorn
@dyslexicorn
Everyone who plays around with Tarot cards long enough winds up with a “bad” card that they love. I just barely persuaded my husband not to get the Ten of Swords tattooed on his body; traditionally, it shows a corpse with ten swords stuck in their body and means “utter ruin,” but he thought that if it took ten swords to kill you, then you must have put up a pretty good fight.
honestly this is the most badass ten of swords interpretation i've ever heard. i'm stealing this
WIZARD TIP: They will run out of swords eventually.
@dyslexicorn
this sucks im going to kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) the president of the United States. (end statement)
@dyslexicorn
