My Name Is Bucky

Helena, 19, Germany. I reblog mostly MCU but also many other fandoms and stuff I like. Once there may have been some kind of system on my blog. Stucky is my source of both happiness and sadness.

[buckydaily-inactive]

DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

a classic theme in world literature, art, film and video games; most notably in those that have a lot of action. This trope usually involves beautiful, innocent, or helpless young female leads, placed in a dire predicament by a villain, monster, or alien, and who requires a male hero to achieve their rescue. After rescuing them, the hero often obtains their hand in marriage.

[snowflakesandangelslove]

#i’m just saying#there’s a reason so many women fiercely latched on to bucky’s character#not only is bucky gorgeous but he’s also a constant plot point to give the hero manpain#in the first avenger he needs to be rescued and his death is the hero’s ultimate motivator#in the winter soldier the hero still mourns this momentous loss until bucky springs back like the beautiful femme fatale that he is#with no agency or autonomy i should add#and in civil war he’s again just a plot device this time to cause a rift between two Men#and the russos stated they chose bucky as the first to be dusted in IW so we could view this horror from steve’s eyes#anyway i have Thoughts#bucky barnes#steve rogers#cap: tfa#cap: tws#cap: cw  (via mackievanstan)

[lunetta-suzie-jewel]

Let’s also remember that Bucky is given feminine actions to perform outside of Being Rescued by Steve. Bucky performs a lot, like a whole hell of a lot, of emotional labor on Steve’s behalf. Oceans of digital ink have been spilled regarding Bucky’s role as pre-serum Steve’s physical and emotional caretaker. On-screen, we watch him arrange Steve’s domestic (“I am literally begging you to live with me now that your mother has passed away”) and social (“I found you a date!”) life for him…

(Interesting to note that when he takes on the role as Steve’s protector, the actual aggression involved is minimal: one punch and one kick in the alleway; one clean shot to the head during the CATFA montage.)

…and he puts up with Steve’s cock-eyed enthusiasm against his better judgment and against his own best interests. From letting Steve ditch him at the Expo on a night that should’ve been about Bucky making good memories to take overseas, to agreeing when Steve asks him to join a crack squad going after the same people responsible for a pretty damn significant trauma to him—and hell, skipping ahead to CW when he instantly joins up with Steve to go to Siberia despite the events of the first half of the film—Bucky constantly sublimates himself to serve the causes of other people.

And it’s not just Steve! Pierce orders and abuses and guilts Bucky into compliance even when he has misgivings. Bucky is undeniably reluctant to be dragged into the Infinity War, but he follows when T’Challa beckons, and he even plasters a big smile onto his face for when Steve shows up (to say nothing of the appearance change/personal grooming he put on in the meantime, which a - was so goddamn gay, and b - is a ploy to make him look more ready to be here, since Bucky’s appearance/state of dress is linked to his mental state, as evidenced by every single scene Bucky is ever in, ever).

Also, I think Bucky is the only MCU man we ever see shopping? (I’m not counting Peter Parker because he is a minor.) Actually shopping, not just walking through a marketplace or townsquare (or covertly using a computer). Chatting with the vendor and smiling and generally putting on social niceties that are often assigned to women irl and on-screen (without the manly posturing that even Peter engages in).

There was an article awhile back hypothesizing that Nonbinary Bucky took off as a popular fandom interpretation precisely because he’s been assigned the Woman’s Role so thoroughly. I can totally see why.

tagging @beautifulwhensarcastic and @koreanrage so they can read my tags

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V

[minxymojo-blog]

everything e v e r y bit of this, especially:

[shycrusadeconfection]

This meta is Lit 🔥

[lunetta-suzie-jewel]

@minxymojo and @shycrusadeconfection (idk why not tagging properly) thank you ^.^

After glancing at the other comments, I also just want to say that there’s nothing inherently wrong with the feminine emotionality that Bucky displays. In fact, it’s amazing in a good way that such a personality was given to a male character. Some people really do just enjoy and ultimately feel fulfilled by taking care of others emotionally and serving noble causes. Steve actually does as well; he just does it in a conventionally masculine, overtly heroic, attention-grabbing way. But the “support” role is not actually lesser than the lead one. Good luck making a movie with only a director and lead role, y’know? People who are service-minded are extremely necessary to civilization. What Bucky has are skills, not simply exploitable traits.

And honestly, it’s also okay to be the one who gets rescued. You’re not a lesser person if you need physical or emotional saving every once in awhile, nor does that make you unequal to the rescuer, even/especially if the rescuer is your romantic partner.

The problem, in real life, is when the emotional labor and skills provided by the feminine actor go unappreciated and unrewarded—or, worse, punished. It’s a problem when the feminine actor’s own personal needs go unmet and their own boundaries go disrespected…or if they don’t know enough about themselves to set boundaries in the first place. (It’s also a problem for women irl when we are expected to perform this feminine emotional labor even if it’s not in our individual personality/skillset/values system, or just don’t have the energy to do it at the moment, and get punished for non-compliance.)

What’s really interesting is watching how Steve grows over the series in relation to Bucky. CATFA Steve, frankly, walks all over Bucky. Steve doesn’t mean to do it…he’s young and impetuous, he has to make sure that his life ultimately means something (considering he grew up not expecting to live long, and being denigrated for his poor health and disabilities), he has High Ideals that need pursuing. His eyes are skyward, and that means either not noticing, or noticing but not effectively addressing, when Bucky is hurting right in front of him.

I’ve written elsewhere that a) Steve is in serious denial about Bucky’s status as a mortal all the way up until Bucky falls from the train, only truly acknowledging once or twice that Bucky’s at risk of dying, and b) Steve knew something was emotionally wrong with Bucky post-Krausberg—watch his eyes when he asks if Bucky is “ready to follow;” they are on Bucky like a hawk—but Bucky was able to deflect Steve’s concern, and Steve figured that he ought to treat Bucky the same as ever, and that maybe the chance at revenge against Hydra is all the catharsis Bucky needs.

It’s actually after losing Bucky that we see Steve start to assume some of the Emotional/Social Labor skills that Bucky had…clumsily at first, and then more deftly. In the Avengers he seeks Tony out after Coulson’s death; in Winter Soldier he opens the conversational door for Sam to talk about Riley and asks Natasha what’s bothering her when they’re at Sam’s house; in Civil War he goes to comfort and assure Wanda post-Lagos. Clearly, after losing Bucky, he’s truly learned the value of a person who seeks to meet others’ emotional needs, not only saves their physical lives. I also think it’s telling that he explicitly offers to let Sam back out of helping him not once but twice in Winter Soldier…maybe he wonders that if he had told Bucky outright “You know, it’s okay if you choose not to join the Commandos; I’m not gonna judge you for it” that Bucky would have declined the invitation and consequently gotten to live.

Civil War is…it’s really hard to guage this movie in terms of Steve’s growth and change in attitude towards Bucky because you honestly cannot underestimate a) how plot-driven rather than character-driven it is, and b) how thoroughly and insiduously the studio’s Gay Panic informs the execution of the film. I was and still am infuriated that the relative mutual tenderness of the “Buck, do you remember me? / Your mom’s name was Sarah” scene from the trailer was replaced by the brusque “Which Bucky am I talking to?” and the weird…amused…?…is he supposed to be delerious…? delivery of the “your mom’s name” line. imo Steve and Bucky’s inital reunion at the apartment was also a lot more standoffish than it needed to be, at least on Steve’s part…for someone who’s spent two years looking for Bucky, Steve sure does seem to be mostly annoyed to be in his company. And then there is that deleted scene—the one on the plane, where Bucky is seated away from the cockpit looking pensive and Steve approaches him—that I guess got replaced by the “whatever you did, it wasn’t you” scene which…is a major backslide for Steve in terms of approach, after the softness he afforded Natasha and Wanda; Steve’s back to Avengers-level clumsiness there.

Oh, and the painfully awkward shoulder-grab of Don’t Forget How Totally Heterosexual We Are.

The point is, Civil War is (deliberately) bad and it should feel bad, don’t @ me.

I’ve declined to see Infinity War because fuck paying the Russos/Marcus&McFeeley for baiting me, but it looks like in Steve’s five seconds of non-fighting screentime he at least asks Bucky how he’s doing and touches him in a not-No Homo way, so there’s that at least.

Anyway, up until Civil War, and clumsily through and after it due to executive meddling rather than authentic storytelling, we saw Steve, the masculine actor, learning how to value and employ feminine emotional skill and labor…something he mostly learned from his relationship with another man. Which was and is so cool and innovative, and is what really enriches the Steve-Bucky dynamic and makes it so attractive and compelling to fans, particularly female fans who see their own emotional labor and skills go completely unnoticed and unappreciated by the people—particulary men—they most want appreciation from.

[fashioninfographics]

Decoding dress codes

Via

[writtenbyrain]

I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH BUSINESS CASUAL THE LAST FEW DAYS, BLESS YOUR SOUL

[clarenecessities]

there’s something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase “hotly debated” in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one’s like “of course there was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia” and another one just looks him in the eye and says “i’l kill you in real life, kevin”

[crockpotcauldron]

[ossacordis]

I heard a story once about two microbiologists at a conference who took it out into the parking lot to have a literal fistfight over taxonomy. 

[winchysteria]

have i told this story yet? idk but it’s good. The Orangutan Story:

my american lit professor went to this poe conference. like to be clear this is a man who has a doctorate in being a book nerd. he reads moby dick to his four-year-old son. and poe is one of the cornerstones of american literature, right, so this should be right up his alley?

wrong. apparently poe scholars are like, advanced. there is a branch of edgar allen poe scholarship that specifically looks for coded messages based on the number of words per line and letters per word poe uses. my professor, who has a phd in american literature, realizes he is totally out of his depth. but he already committed his day to this so he thinks fuck it! and goes to a panel on racism in poe’s works, because that’s relevant to his interests.

background info: edgar allen poe was a broke white alcoholic from virginia who wrote horror in the first half of the 19th century. rule 1 of Horror Academia is that horror reflects the cultural anxieties of its time (see: my other professor’s sermon abt how zombie stories are popular when people are scared of immigrants, or that purge movie that was literally abt the election). since poe’s shit is a product of 1800s white southern culture, you can safely assume it’s at least a little about race. but the racial subtext is very open to interpretation, and scholars believe all kinds of different things about what poe says about race (if he says anything), and the poe stans get extremely tense about it.

so my professor sits down to watch this panel and within like five minutes a bunch of crusty academics get super heated about poe’s theoretical racism. because it’s academia, though, this is limited to poorly concealed passive aggression and forceful tones of inside voice. one professor is like “this isn’t even about race!” and another professor is like “this proves he’s a racist!” people are interrupting each other. tensions are rising. a panelist starts saying that poe is like writing a critique of how racist society was, and the racist stuff is there to prove that racism is stupid, and that on a metaphorical level the racist philosophy always loses—

then my professor, perhaps in a bid to prove that he too is a smart literature person, loudly calls: “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ORANGUTAN?”

some more background: in poe’s well-known short story “the murder in the rue morgue,” two single ladies—a lovely old woman and her lovely daughter who takes care of her, aka super vulnerable and respectable people—are violently killed. the murderer turns out to be not a person, but an orangutan brought back by a sailor who went to like burma or something. and it’s pretty goddamn racially coded, like they reeeeally focus on all this stuff about coarse hairs and big hands and superhuman strength and chattering that sounds like people talking but isn’t actually. if that’s intentional, then he’s literally written an analogy about how black people are a threat to vulnerable white women, which is classic white supremacist shit. BUT if he really only meant for it to be an orangutan, then it’s a whole other metaphor about how colonialism pillages other countries and brings their wealth back to europe and that’s REALLY gonna bite them in the ass one day. klansman or komrade? it all hangs on this.

so the place goes dead fucking silent as every giant ass poe stan in the room is immediately thrust into a series of war flashbacks: the orangutan argument, violently carried out over seminar tables, in literary journals, at graduate student house parties, the spittle flying, the wine and coffee spilled, the friendships torn—the red faces and bulging veins—curses thrown and teaching posts abandoned—panels just like this one fallen into chaos—distant sirens, skies falling, the dog-eared norton critical editions slicing through the air like sabres—the textual support! o, the quotes! they gaze at this madman in numb disbelief, but he could not have known. nay, he was a literary theorist, a 17th-century man, only a visitor to their haunted land. he had never heard the whistle of the mortars overhead. he had never felt the cold earth under his cheek as he prayed for god’s deliverance. and yet he would have broken their fragile peace and brought them all back into the trenches.

much later, when my professor told this story to a poe nerd friend, the guy said the orangutan thing was a one of the biggest landmines in their field. he said it was a reliable discussion ruiner that had started so many shouting matches that some conferences had an actual ban on bringing it up.

so my professor sits there for a second, still totally clueless. then out of the dead silence, the panel moderator stands up in his tweed jacket and yells, with the raw panic of a once-broken man:

WE! DO NOT! TALK ABOUT! THE ORANGUTAN!

[laurajdt]

@posturingsimpleton

OMG

[lysapadin]

Look, academia is just another form of fandom with better citation practices.

[sespursongles-deactivated201906]

I found out recently that at a time of his life when Tolstoy was in a slump and had stopped writing & earning money, his wife Sophia borrowed money from her mum to start her own publishing office and publish editions of his works—and in order to figure out how publishing worked, she travelled to St Petersburg to ask Anna Dostoyevsky for advice, as Anna had also spent the past 14 years planning the editions of her husband’s work, correcting proofs, placing ads in papers, battling official censors, etc. It reminded me of this post about women writers supporting each other—so many links between women in history that we never hear about. Someone please write a book about the wives of all the great male writers…

(In previous years Sophia, while giving birth to Tolstoy’s 13 children and raising them and managing his estate (he was a count) pretty much on her own, also wrote the clean copies of all of his manuscripts out of his nearly illegible drafts—the final draft of War and Peace was 3,000 pages and she copied it seven times, correcting spelling and grammar and offering key suggestions and critiques of the plot; for example explaining to him that people would be more interested in the social or romantic plots, the human aspects, than in the minutiae of the battles and war strategy plots. A few months before his death, Tolstoy named a male friend the executor of his literary estate rather than his wife, who had been doing this thankless job since she was 19, and gave to the public domain all the copyrights to his works that Sophia had previously owned (for her publishing company). She wrote in her diary “Now I am cast aside as of no further use, although I am, nevertheless, expected to do impossible things.”)

Also I shouldn’t be surprised (but I am) at just how many “great male writers” read their wife’s (or female relatives’) diaries and drew a lot of inspiration from them, stealing ideas or even sometimes entire sentences / paragraphs / poems out of them. This is such a recurrent pattern. There’s Tolstoy (who read Sophia’s diaries and also asked her, when she was 17, to show him a short story she’d written, gave it back to her the next day saying he’d barely glanced at it, when he actually wrote in his diary “What force of truth and simplicity!” and used the story as the embryo for the Rostov family in War and Peace), but also William Wordsworth who read his sister Dorothy’s journal and drew a lot from it, and F. Scott Fitzgerald of course. When Zelda was still young a magazine editor offered to publish parts of her journals, and her husband (of 5 months!) said he couldn’t allow it because he drew a lot of inspiration from them and planned on using parts of them in his future novels and short stories. There’s also French novelist Raymond Radiguet who stole his female lover’s diary to write his novel The Devil in the Flesh, and was lauded by fellow male writers & critics for his brilliant insights into a woman’s mind. Which had been copy/pasted from this woman’s diary. [Also, while he didn’t read it until after her death, Henry James’s sister Alice mentions in her diary that he “embedded in his pages many pearls fallen from my lips, which he steals in the most unblushing way, saying, simply, that he knew they had been said by the family, so it did not matter.”] I really love reading women’s journals, and when they were married to a famous writer, you wouldn’t believe how often the person who edited them mentions in the introduction “if some passages sound familiar it’s because her husband was reading her diary and ~getting inspired” ie plagiarising although the term technically doesn’t apply because every word his wife wrote and idea she had was legally his property (just like she was).

It makes me feel so bitter to contrast what women do—decades of unpaid, unacknowledged work to proofread, copy, publish, preserve from censorship, improve, develop and promote their husband’s writing—with what men do—openly steal ideas and whole sentences from their wife’s writing while forcing her to give birth to 13 children that she didn’t want and he doesn’t help raise.

[owl-and-the-moon-deactivated202]

There has been a copy of Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet in my house as long as I can remember, and I held dear many verses from it for a long time. Then I read about his relationship with one Elizabeth Haskell, who supported and edited and worked so closely with him that, “Haskell’s contribution to his writing, including The Prophet, was such that by today’s standard she would be acknowledged as co-author.” (Wikipedia, but there was a much longer article about her I stumbled across once.)

Kind of takes the mystic-spiritual edge off a male writer when you learn that much of what was published under his name was discreetly written into his work by a talented but nameless woman behind the scenes. 

[memewhore]

[samxdean]

insp.

[lostcap]

If you cannot donate to my PayPal (paypal.me/sophvulpe) please, please, please, consider commissioning me or signal boosting my donation post/commission post

I had my sister steal my last forty dollars and say she didn’t, and I don’t know how I’ll afford anything right now. Food. Rent. My phone. Which is how I write commissions to get money I need to survive.

I’ve applied for jobs that I can’t work because of my mental illness. But I’m still trying. I just don’t know how much longer I can try to just survive. I’m tired, guys. I’m so tired. I can’t keep doing this. I need something stable in my life and I don’t know how to achieve it.

[lostcap]

okay, i don’t know what’s happening with gran and i, she’s saying i won’t be taking care of her any longer and refusing my care so i really need to start doing commissions again, i do have a place but i can’t afford my share without her so please signal boost this, i can’t be homeless again and I just started college classes again, im finally somewhat stable so please help me stay that way please

[lostcap]

I’ve just started collage classes and an finally somewhat stable so if you could help me stay that way I’d really really appreciate it

[buckypupbarnes]

“The bombing, the setup, the doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you”. [I can’t blame Zemo, I would do a lot more to get 10 minutes with this boy]☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆

[oldblogarchived]

english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco

[disc80s]

IM CRYINGNFN

[my-name-is-long]

english: ninety-nine

french: :)

english: oh no

french: four-twenty-ten-nine

[spirited-simmer-deactivated2016]

english: potato

french: :)

english: oh geez

french: apple of the earth

[catchingjinns]

french: papillon

english: :)

french: don’t

english: beurremouche

[watercolorsheep]

French: pamplemousse English: :) French: pls no English: raisinfruit

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

english: squirrel

german: :)

english: oh dear

german: oak croissant

[languageoclock]

english: helicopter german: :) english: uh oh german: lifting screwdriver

[commie-saskia-deactivated202211]

english: toes

spanish: :)

english: no don’t

spanish : fingers of the feet

[sorry-stacy]

english: ladybug

russian: :)

english: oh no

russian: god’s cow

[malteseboy]

english: shark

maltese: :)

english: pls no

maltese: sea dog

[useless-netherlandsfacts]

English: leopard

Dutch: :)

English: stop 

Dutch: lazy horse

[kineticpenguin]

English: glove

German: :)

English: what now

German: hand shoe

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

English: nostril

German: :)

English: please don’t

German: nose hole

[eevees]

Twilight series theory - Twilight as a tragedy rather than a romance.

[heecawroo-deactivated20210202]

now who wants to write fanfiction emphasizing this point

[urbancuntemporary]

This was so good oh my god. I’m actually so tired of people hailing Twilight as a love story and this was the most accurate thing I’ve ever read on the matter.

[clefunable]

omg i really want this mixed with actual gore and horror

from a post on reddit:

Let’s put problems with spelling, grammar, narrative flow, plot structure, etc. aside and just look at the story and, in particular, the character arc of Bella Swan.

At the beginning of the story, she is moving from Arizona to Washington on her own volition - she has decided to give her mother and her step-father some time and space and to spend some time with her father. At this point in the story, she is, admittedly, a bit of a Mary Sue, but an endearing one. She is sensitive to the needs of others (moves to Alaska for her Mom’s sake, helps her Dad around the house, is understanding and tries to give the benefit of the doubt even when the other students are somewhat cruel to her when she first arrives), clumsy, out-of-sorts, and a little insecure. She’s not a girly-girl or a cheerleader type, doesn’t get caught up in the typical sorts of high school behavior, and in general functions as an independent person.

It’s worth noting that if Tyler’s van had smashed her, she would have (at that point) died as a fairly well-rounded, empathetic individual. We certainly wouldn’t say she died in need of redemption, at any rate. Instead, Edward ‘saves’ her - and this supernatural ‘salvation’ marks the beginning of a journey that ultimately destroys her.

As she gets more entangled with Edward, she becomes less and less independent, more and more selfish. She is accepting of his abusive behavior (stalking her on trips with her friends, removing parts from her car so that she can’t go see Jacob, creeping into her window at night, emotional manipulation) to the point that when he completely abandons her (walking out on the trust and commitment they’ve built together, in spite of having vowed to remain with her no matter what), she is willing to take him back. Edward is clearly entirely morally bankrupt.

Her father, Charlie Swan, is sort of the Jimminy Cricket of the story. His intuition is a proxy for the reader’s intuition, and he’s generally right. He doesn’t like Edward, because he can sense the truth - not that Edward is a vampire, that doesn’t matter in particular - but that Edward is devoid of anything approximating a ‘soul’ (for those strict secularists, you could just say Charlie can see that Edward is a terrible person). Bella is warned by numerous people and events throughout the course of the story that she is actively pursuing her own destruction - but she’s so dependent on Edward and caught up in the idea of the romance that she refuses to see the situation for what it is. Charlie tells her Edward is bad news. Edward tells her that he believes he is damned, and devoid of a soul. He further tells her that making her like him is the most selfish thing he will ever do. Jacob warns her numerous times that Edward is a threat to her life and well-being. She even has examples of other women who have become involved with monsters - Emily Young bears severe and permanent facial disfigurement due to her entanglement with Sam Uley.

Her downward spiral continues when, in New Moon, she turns around and treats her father precisely as Edward has treated her - abandoning him after suffering an obvious and extended severe bout of depression, leaving him to worry that she is dead for several days. She had been emotionally absent for a period of months before that anyhow. Charlie Swan is traumatized by this event, and never quite recovers thereafter. (He is continuously suspicous of nearly everyone Bella interacts with from that point on, worries about her frequently, and seems generally less happy.)

Her refusal to break her codependence with Edward eventually leads them to selfishly endanger Carlisle’s entire clan when the Volturi threaten (and then attempt) to wipe them out for their interaction with her - so she is at this point in the story willing to put lives on both sides of the line (her family and the Cullens) at risk in favor of this abusive relationship. Just like in a real abusive relationship, she is isolated or isolates herself from nearly everyone in her life - for their safety, she believes.

Ultimately, she marries Edward, submitting to mundane domesticity and an abusive relationship - voluntarily giving up her independence in favor of fulfilling Edward’s idea of her appropriate role. Her pregnancy - which in the real world would bind her to the father of her children irrevocably (if only through the legal system or through having to answer the kid’s questions about their paternity) - completely destroys her body. The baby drains her of every resource in her body (she becomes sickly, skeletal, and unhealthy) and ultimately snaps her spine during labor. Her physical destruction tracks with and mirrors her moral and psychological destruction - both are the product of seeds that she allowed Edward to plant inside her through her failure to be independent.

Ultimately, to ‘save’ her (there’s that salvation again), Edward shoots venom directly into her heart. Let me repeat that for emphasis: The climax of the entire series is when Edward injects venom directly into Bella Swan’s heart.

Whatever wakes up in that room, it ain’t Bella.

I’ll refer to the vampire as Bella Cullen, the human as Bella Swan.

Bella Swan was clumsy.

Bella Cullen is the most graceful of all the vampires.

Bella Swan was physically weak and frequently needed protection.

Bella Cullen is among the strongest and most warlike of the vampires, standing essentially on her own against a clan that has ruled the world for centuries.

Bella Swan was empathetic to the needs of others before she met Edward.

Bella Cullen pursues two innocent human hikers through a forest, intent on ripping them to pieces to satisfy her bloodlust - and stops only because Edward calls out to her. Not because she perceives murder as wrong. (Breaking Dawn, p.417). She also attempts to kill Jacob and breaks Seth’s shoulder because she didn’t approve of what Jacob nicknamed her daughter (Breaking dawn, p.452). She no longer has morals .

Bella Swan was fairly modest and earnest.

Bella Cullen uses her sex appeal to manipulate innocent people and extract information from them (pp.638 - 461) - she does so in order to get in touch with J. Jenks.

In short, her entire identity - everything that made her who she was - has been erased.

This is powerfully underscored on p. 506, when Charlie Swan (remember, the conscience of the story) sees his own daughter for the first time after her transformation:

“Charlie’s blank expression told me how off my voice was. His eyes zeroed in on me and widened.

Shock. Disbelief. Pain. Loss. Fear. Anger. Suspicion. More pain.”

He goes through the entire grieving process right there - because at that moment, he recognizes what so many readers don’t - Bella Swan is dead.

The most tragic part of the whole story is that this empty shell of a person - which at this point is nothing more than a frozen echo of Bella, twisted and destroyed as she is by her codependence with Edward, fails to see what has happened to her. She ends the story in denial - empty, annihilated, and having learned nothing.

holy shit

[unreactive]

he asked me what my sign is and I said “dollar”

[furiousradfem]

Female childhood experiences:

getting pushed around, shoved, bullied, hair pulled and things stolen by boys and being told to not react because “boys will be boys” and “that only means they like you” or “you’re only encouraging them to do more if you respond” and “they’re only trying to get a reaction”

being repeatedly scolded, called out, and punished for not acting enough lady-like, for getting dirty in the mud or getting your knee bloodied, boys of course don’t get punished for this because “it’s only expected of them”

being fitted into uncomfortable, limiting clothes that makes it hard to play

having boys lift up your skirt and laugh at you to embarrass you

not realizing what is so embarrassing about it but feeling ashamed

having to wait to go outside to play because first your hair has to be braided/styled and you have to look respectable at all times

gangs of boys laughing at you for being a girl and thus somehow beneath them

getting shoved out of “boy’s clubs” and chased out for being a girl

having “you’re a girl!” shouted at you as if it was an insult

demanding same respect and freedom boys have and getting told that you are somehow different and pushing you to focus on clothes and makeup instead

getting your ideas, suggestions and voice yelled over by loud boys 

not getting a say in anything

feeling self conscious about your body and very early trying to locate where you are on the spectrum of “sexy” to determine your social value

figuring you were really low on the spectrum and either giving up on it or panicking and trying to increase your value somehow

figuring boys will hate you unless you can get their attention with your looks but even if they like you for a bit, as soon as they get what they wanted from you they will turn against you and join other boys in humiliating you again

hating boys

feeling like you don’t have a voice and you don’t matter

feeling like your interests don’t matter and being actively discouraged to developing any except for stereotypical feminine ones

seeing only celebrated adult women are those which are high on the “sexy” spectrum and thrive on getting men’s attention but you don’t really want to do that and you feel like you have nothing to strive for

realizing older men are staring at you in a weird way and not understanding why

feeling like your parents are ashamed of you and not understanding why

having thousand chores that are undervalued and not appreciated when you do them, it’s considered the least you can do as you’re a girl and need to apparently work to make up for it

feeling that you’ll end up having to get married and helpless with the issue

being told that you’ll “never get a husband” with your kind of behaviour whenever you act like yourself

being repeatedly taught that being unwanted is the worst thing you can possibly be

[steebs-borky]

Percy: When I die, I want the gods to lower me into the ground so they can let me down one last time.

[samxdean]

He is everything I want | He’s everything I need [insp]

[fhinnpoe-moved]

Chris Evans according to @stevetogers‘s tags

[viralthings]

Tour de France delayed due to llamas sitting on roads.

[new-burg-crossing]

this is it. this is my aesthetic. I’ve finally found it.

[secretlytodream]

Sebastian Stan gets down and dirty at our  Los Angeles pool party  ( x )