A cluttered mind and an empty desk.

Doctor of something or other. Long term tumblr person. Human.

[cosmonautroger]

[vacuously-true]

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

[nudityandnerdery]

[southfarthing]

[shanebug]

love isn't real they made it up for heated rivalry

[ossacordis]

Fighting the good fight against AI by actually looking up, requesting from the library, and reading a journal article from 1957 to make sure it actually says what the manuscript I'm peer reviewing said that it says

[vonnebenan]

Happy Glorious 25th of May

[henk-heijmans]

Donkey getting some shade on a hot sunny day in Greece - photographer unknown

[chippyyyz]

Donkey about to get the fuckin drop on father konstaninos - photographer unknown

[stephendann]

Prelude to an ass kicking

[70sscifiart]

Me, logging on to work after the long weekend

[commanderchr1st]

New proposed nation called The Lake where summer has a daily government mandated 4 hour paid "swim break" and a winter 16 hour work week @ $40/hr

[penandinkprincess]

it obviously makes sense, but one of my friend’s kids is going into swim class, and all the parents got an email today going, “when little ones are scared, they cling on to instructors. PLEASE trim their nails.” 

i don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but just. the idea of this poor, scratched swim instructor having to make sure to email before each class as a reminder to please declaw the children SENT me. 

[rockitcat]

When I taught swim lessons I remember trying to delicately ask parents not to cover their child in shea/coconut/olive oil before lessons.

“I understand your skincare regimen and wanting to protect their tender baby flesh from the pool chemicals, but COULD YOU NOT OIL YOUR CHILD LIKE A GREASED PIG before tossing them in the POOL? Thanks EVER so much!”

[penandinkprincess]

@nakimochiku i CACKLED

[gaystation4]

[glowingghosty]

i don't say this very often so you can trust me when i say for the love of god please unmute

[foxofninetales]

Audio description: Very loud trilling purrring.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Very important kitty noises

[teaboot]

I think your cat is probably a dove

[petermorwood]

The cat is ringing, pick up!

[thesylverlining]

That's a tribble!!

[alisonzai]

[titsay]

[halloweentrickortreat]

Autumn on the Hills by Franklin Carmichael

[parkchanwoohoo]

I don't know if this is that funny but I'm someplace where I can't laugh out loud so there are tears fully streaming down my face (if you don't know, Tiktok automatically assigns a random background audio/song to something you upload and you have to delete it before you publish it or else you'll get this weird overlaying sound)

[i-am-a-fish]

don't be mean to yourself that's you

[i-am-a-fish]

you live there

[cheaphalloweencostume]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[cheaphalloweencostume]

happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born

[poolsidescientist]

If there's one thing I will never understand it's Lord of the Rings fans wanting to be an elf in Middle Earth. I mean, sure they're graceful and pretty but they live too damn long and having to witness an eternity of stupidity from the species around them. Like, imagine being Elrond and basically witnessing a cringe compilation of the human race. Nope. No thanks.

[attackfish]

I've been witnessing a cringe compilation of the human race my whole life. Elrond is not special.