ava

main blog/multifandom blog: @that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you | I don't have a particular aesthetic so don't expect one | she/her | stem | physics | programming | history | chaotic academia | procrastinating

[stem-procrastimate]

[updated: 23. 10. 2025]

"You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know"

(caution: this can be awkward)

NOTE: i kinda forgot about this blog for an embarrassingly long time and it's cuz of my adhd and lack of motivation and lack of studying and tbh i prolly will post once in three years fuck you

hey, i'm ava (not irl name) and this is my new forgotten studyblr and here are some things about me ig

personal:

i'm finally 18 (WHY)

i'm in 12th grade (WHYYYY)

and I'm indian (my first language is english, but my "mother-tongue" is bengali)

chaotic academia

bisexual (but still by myself *sad laughter*— IT'S 2025 I MADE THIS 3 YEARS AGO HOW AM I STILL BITCHLESS)

i have adhd, anxiety and depression hahah (diagnosed)

procrastinating by writing this

interests:

drawing/ art in general

books (i like thrillers and books with political commentaries and romances, too)

listening to music

writing

researching about social stuff

debating (a lot) but also public speaking in general

doomscrolling on my phone

school stuff:

i live in India so i follow the Indian cbse system

we have five exams: 1. unit test 1: 25 marks for each subject; block test 1: 70 marks for phy, chem and bio, and 30 marks for their practicals, 80 marks for maths and english and 20 marks for their practicals, and 30 marks for art and 70 marks for its practical. The other exams are unit test 2 and 3 and block test 2 or finals which follows the same pattern.

[this is the 11th-12th grade system]

we also get a grade on each subject per exam (A1, A2, B1, B2, C1, C2, D1, D2, E) based on our marks percentage

my subjects are: maths, physics, biology, chemistry, art and english (which is 1st language as i mentioned before)

from 11th grade we can choose different subjects and my combination is pcmb

indian school year starts from april

my fav subjects are physics, political science, maths and english

career/ university goals:

previously wanted to go to MIT, Princeton, Harvard or Caltech, but that plan is canceled for financial reasons

wanna be a space scientist at ISRO/NASA

or just pursue a career in physics academia— physicist basically

planning to study stem in college

colleges i wanna go to now: IISc, IIT Bombay, IISERs— I JUST WANNA GO SOMEWHERE WITH SCIENCE PLS

my backup is fucking nothing i will die on the street

goals in general:

be more confident and less socially awkward

improve my grades

eat healthier ig

not procrastinate and learn to manage time

improve calligraphy (mine's good, but not awesome)

be less fucking depressed cuz everytime i update this i realise i am more depressed

watch the entire gilmore girls movie list (around 500 movies) and listen to every single artist mentioned in it and read every book rory has read so that i can make obscure references and then be pretentious about it

things i love:

cats. And dogs. i will go feral over them.

space

mythology of around the world

really deadly animals (my fav animal is titanoboa, so you get it)

unknown deep sea creatures

political theory

neuroscience or even just anatomy type shit

psychology and psychoanalysis

murder (jk, but i have very intensive knowledge of poisons, creative methods of torture and burying bodies)

inspirations:

@studyquill

@starrystvdy

@shythecheesecake

@mogsbiosciencejourney

@cactusandstudies

@revisign

so, yeah, that's kinda it ig, so byee (get me out of this capitalist hellhole PLEASE) <33

[thewhimsicalarchives]

[stem-procrastimate]

~ another book list that I won't finish - fiction ~

the dispossessed by ursula k. lee

things fall apart by chinua achebe

persepolis complete collection by marjane satrapi

notes from underground by fyodor dostoevsky

we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson

the man who mistook his wife for a hat and other clinical tales by oliver sacks

the bluest eye by toni morrison

as i lay dying by william faulkner

a confederacy of dunces by john kennedy toole

never let me go by kazuo ishiguro

the god of small things by arundhati roy

travails with the alien by satyajit roy

the gurkha's daughter by prajwal paraguay

uncle tom's cabin harriet beecher stowe

red dragon by thomas harris

the cipher by kathe koja

a head full of ghosts by paul tremblay

house of leaves by mark z. danielewski

i’m thinking of ending things by iain reid

eileen by ottessa moshfegh

the good son by you-jeong jeong

baby teeth by zoje stage

foe by iain rei

the constant gardener by john le carré

before i go to sleep by s.j. watson

the awakening by kate chopin

anna karenina by leo tolstoy

swann’s way by marcel proust

the bell jar by sylvia plath

as you like it by william shakespeare

[stem-procrastimate]

13. 10. 2025

it's been more than a year since i've posted lmao but i'm just gonna drop this incredibly un-aesthetic picture here of my physics notes cuz why not

anyways here's today to-do:

1. physics: finish moving charges+instruments

2. biology: finish biomolecules

3. maths: finish integration

4. chemistry: finish atleast 50% of p-block

it's almost 6 am so im trying to be positive here but chances are i won't finish this but something is better than nothing... right?

🎧: when we are together by the 1975 | ✨️🪐

[corneredanimal]

dear professor i cant seem to lock in. its so over

[stem-procrastimate]

this is a bit of a naive question, but im desi also and planning to go to a stem college, do you think its a good idea to be out of the closer at college or at least tell close friends?

Hii!

I mean, ig it depends on what college you go to- especially the state- so basically check if they are accepting in general (you will find homophobic/transphobic ppl everywhere who will try to ruin your day, but check if the overall atmosphere is chill)

Tbvh, it doesn't matter much, you can be out to your friends, or to everyone regardless of where you live, as long as you know that you won't be attacked or smth (even then, it's still your prerogative, but I do think you should consider that)

Just tell the ppl you want to when you feel comfortable enough, doesn’t matter if you're in college or not

[stem-procrastimate]

first time in MUN and I am already dead I have 6 days to prep

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

Ignorance is Bliss

"Ignorance is bliss."

Ignorance is bliss for the privileged because they're the ones who can afford to be ignorant. Because why worry when everything is handed to you on a silver platter? When you've been put a step up since creation, not even realizing it? Why worry and show empathy to the underprivileged? Understanding to the un-ignorant?

You can't say you are are good, while sitting on your high horse, looking at the rest through rose-tinted glasses. You can't say you are good unless you take off your selective vision, truly observe, and then use your privilege to uplift the not. And when I say 'uplift', I don't mean above. I mean to the same level, because what exists now is not equal.

This is the need for straight people to speak against homophobia.

This is the need for white people to speak against racism.

This is the need for cis people to speak against transphobia.

This is the need for neurotypicals and the able-bodied to speak against ablism.

This is the need for certain people not part of a minority to stand up for certain other people who are part of a minority.

note- i have not included all the bases on which humans are discriminated against by other fellow humans, i have only listed a few.

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

found this gem from my first few days on tumblr

[farahmohamed2005]

Hello🚨

I'm from Gaza 🇵🇸

My name is Farah

Can you please help me to study at the university

Me and my family have lost our home, our car, and

our dream to study

I hope just to help me to start my education

I was in my first year at university in Gaza but after

the war, I lost everything my dream and my

education 💔

Hope you really can help with anything

Thank you in advance🌹🌹

https://gofund.me/7417ca2b

@determinate-negation @sar-soor

@dlxxv-vetted-donations @appsa @akajustmerry

@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @el-shab-hussein

@ghost-and-a-half @sayruq @7bittersweet

@marnotrawienie @animentay @variantsofblue

@northgazaupdates2 @skatehan @90-ghost

@tycarterart @paper-mario-wiki @socalgal

@palestinecharitycommissionsassoc

@vakarians-babe @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness

@palipunk-blog @mangovoices @gazavetters

@a-shade-of-blue @gammawizard12345

@natalia-goncharova @trevonlovekey-blog

@palestinegenocide

[deelovesbooks]

We all had fun with geography class now onto science! take this quiz to name as many elements as you can :)

How many elements on the periodic table can you name?

0 (I don't believe you)

1-13

14-26

27-39

40-52

53-65

66-78

79-91

92-104

105-117

All 118! (I also don't believe you)

I don't want to play bc I'm boring (Results)

Voting ended onSep 28, 2024

obligatory rb for sample size <3

[eman-zaqout]

Support Humanity and Childhood🙏🧡

This is my kids Rakan 13 and Seba 10 years old.👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏻 Thier childhood changed dramatically since Gaza war.💥

I want to share with you my wishes as a mum, I don’t want to search for my little children in the devastating rubble, I don’t want to write thier names on thier bodyies parts so they can be recognized.😭💔

We are humans. We are alive. We are a family. We have names, and we are not numbesr.👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

We deserve peaceful and happy life; sweet dreams and do need your help. If you care about humanity and if these words touch your heart please donate or at lease share our story to save our lives.🙏🍉

Donate to Help my family survive famine and have secure life, organized by Mazin Fakak

Dear friends, family, and compassionate supporters, My name is Eman Za… Mazin Fakak needs your support for Help my family survive famine an

[eman-zaqout]

Dont Turn Blind Eyes to Our Suffering🙏

Please listen to me and support us by donating/sharing our GFM campaign🍉🤍. I know you cant help all families need aid but at least you can help those who come across your life💔.

We are not asking for too much to escape the hell, its just the price of your morning cup of coffee 😢🌹

Donate to Help my family survive famine and have secure life, organized by Mazin Fakak

Dear friends, family, and compassionate supporters, My name is Eman Za… Mazin Fakak needs your support for Help my family survive famine an

[stem-procrastimate]

scrolling through ur blog & u seem so coolll

also another desi queer person hello! istg there r so many on tumblr & never irl

(sorry for sending 2 of these)

OMFG TYSMM AND IKR I HAVE MET 1 QUEER PERSON MY AGE (or in general tbh) IN MY WHOLE LIFE LIKE???? ALSO THE FACT THAT YOU'RE ALSO AN IISER ASPIRANT CUZ EVERYONE IK ONLY TALKS ABOUT IIT AS IF THE OTHER SCIENCE RESEARCH COLLEGES DONT EXIST

[stem-procrastimate]

another iiser aspirant yay!!

OMFG YOU TOO??? THAT'S AMAZING WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS

[stem-procrastimate]

1 am find your soul

...what is the context of this

[stem-procrastimate]

I need a hyperfixation rn but I need it to be studying

[studyingscribbles]

you're getting distracted again. focus.

drink a cup of water, tie your hair up, pull on your comfiest clothes, get your desk clean and ready, print out past papers, set your notes out, turn your laptop on, turn off all distractions, take out your stationary, open your books, take a deep breath, and just start.