I Am Barely Breathing

~22 ~ Christian ~ San Jose, California ~ Cal Poly Pomona Alumni ~ Registered Veterinary Technologist ~ Music is my life ~ Rat mom ~ Engaged to cddrummer ~ ~Antidepressant free as of July 2015; Self-harm free as of October 2014; Cheers!~

[poisonnightmares]

Fernanda Suarez

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

my favorite is when Kermit’s facial expression is simultaneously an obvious hand in a puppet but also an instantly recognizable and relatable emotion

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

[bunjywunjy]

are all animals dangerous?

every animal has the potential to be dangerous under certain circumstances. for instance, a dog could bite you, a moth could distract a UPS driver into plowing through your living room window, you could inhale and choke on an earthworm.

[snickeringsnicket]

did lemony snicket write this

[evilryu-deactivated20180710]

A girls voice in game chat is more powerful than any us marine

[didyougetmysteriousimagines]

Fun story (maybe?): when I was younger, my brother was super duper into COD and he is actually really freaking good at it. So one day, he gave me his mic headset and told me to talk while he was playing and it was WILD. The levels of salt that young men produce when under the impression that a little girl is destroying them in COD is a beautiful thing.

[raisedlikethat]

[beardedhippy420-blog]

Beartooth - The Lines

[succubusboyfriend]

replacing curses in sentences with harmless words like heck and then sometimes even censoring heck to “h*ck” is a good meme but an even better one would be, like, censoring the wrong word in a sentence entirely. example:

go fuck yours*lf

[valjestering]

example A

[patrickgalantes-archived]

consent through fear is not consent

[r-grimes]

let’s repeat that again:

consent through fear is not consent

[platonic-suggestion]

And while we’re at it:

consent through guilt is not consent either

[greyhorsephoto]

[unclefather]

I have been fooled

[birch-the-fish-crow]

I like how the horses ears are now in an ‘anger’ position.

[weloveshortvideos]

[gatherthewords]

He’s gonna be a mighty king and he’s working on that roar.

[candiikismet]

Oh my GOOOOOD

[sickbitterandcoveredinglitter]

Bug-free™ season is over and I am Afraid

[melanin-enhanced-deactivated202]

Ladies I have another question for you....

What’s one thing you wish guy did while he was going down ?

[thelifeofbunches-deactivated201]

Actually suck on the clitoris instead of flicking it with his tongue like how a cat drinks water.

[melanin-enhanced-deactivated202]

I have so much to learn thelifeofbunches

[goddessevrth-deactivated2023072]

Go slow. Not everything has to be fast paced and crazy all the time

[packtheammo-deactivated20170223]

Hold my thighs. Like grip them, just firm enough…

[thetennesseehoneyy]

Yasss that clit flicking shit is not the wave.

[melanin-enhanced-deactivated202]

What about sucking on the clit ? thetennesseehoneyy

[tiffanyaliyah]

Fingering at the same time is always nice, but not in and out, find that gspot and massage it why you lick and suck the clit. I will die.

[alexundefined]

Touch/grab my thighs, my ass, slowly touch down my spine, everywhere, somewhere. Tease me good before you go down & while you’re down there.

[torreyashanti]

Deadass with the thigh thing Kiss those inner thighs too Pretend you’re passionately kissing the kitty Not a cat drinking water Also don’t even do it if you a)don’t like doing it b)you’re going to do it for 2 seconds

[uninhibitedsoul]

I couldn’t hit reblog fast enough.

[the-haitian-queen-deactivated20]

Don’t be to shy to open it up and really get the clit. Like if dudes really spread the lips and focused on the clit I would lose my mind

[jeniphyer]

slow down on the flickering thing, that rapid shit isnt pleasurable, slowly running your tongue back n forth tho? Yes. 

thigh kissing is nice, ass grabbing, thigh gripping, a little passionate teasing takes you far and honestly gets her wetter by the minute 

slow down, take your time at first, dont just dive in, enjoy your meal

that rapid flicking thing doesnt do much for me (i cant speak for every girl) but slow runs across the clit are lovely, just focus on the clit, let your fingers do some work if you get tired or something 

I dont know about every girl but that mimic-my-dick-with-my-tongue technique doesnt do shit 

[sosodebb-deactivated20190324]

Notice how they’ve all basically said the same thing? I hope you men pay attention. Every woman is different but here are the basics to pleasing us.

1. Stop the fucking flicking shit.

2. Focus on the CLIT. Suck it, circle it. Engulf it. If she moans, keep doing that.

3. But pls, do visit thighland. Inner thigh licking and kissing will set us on fire.

4. What is this fingering shit? Massage the gspot or get out. We feel nothing with that little stabbing motion. Also, stop sticking your 2 inches of tongue in there. Come back up to the clit.

5. LONG stokes with the tongue.

6. Stop humming. Most of us use vibrators so that little humming trick you learned from GQ will pale in comparison.

7. Speaking of vibes, the reason you’re in our bed is because you can do 1 thing our wands and rabbits can’t do. And that’s grab us. Grab us, squeeze us, we want to feel your hands on our body.

8. If you can reach, grab a titty.

9. Some women are self conscious about how they look/taste/smell down there. Or worry about taking too long to orgasm, so let her know you’re enjoying it. Moan, groan, sound like you’re eating a plate of ribs

10. Do it til we cum or GTFO!

[neverxxenough]

Oh damn 😳😳💕💕

[dubblah]

Why aren’t things compiled and published like this more often??

And more importantly, why aren’t we being told this stuff while down there? Esp those of us who love doing it and doing it right….. feedback, ladies, when we’re there. Please?

[xxxsexxx]

[moritzstiefeldoesntdosadness]

I don’t often post shit like this but all of this is important. Guys, you want the goods? Learn to earn it. And please enjoy yourself. If you do it right you’ll enjoy the sheer fact that SHE’S enjoying it.

[bcpk-deactivated20210131]

Taking notes for when I feel like putting some natural facial hair growth serum on my face.

[whenyougetrightdowntoit-deactiv]

Reblogging for awareness…

[anothercleverjedimindtrick]

[lookatthisnerdybroad]

Don’t be rubbin on the clit like you trying to shine a shoe, it’s very sensitive. To that end, no dry cat-tounges. Slob it down.

[slobbaby-deactivated20170425]

If you think blowing on it or in it or anywhere near the pussy does anything for anyone, punch yourself in the face right now

[milfncookiiez]

Great facts and mad humorous. Shoot I love what I do and always have a drenched beard. And little to drink but always good to learn new tricks if there where some.

[xxxsexxx]

BEST!!!

[juliehen]

Well done ladies! 👏👏 yes work that clit. 💋👠

[kinukukiko-deactivated20160716]

Definitely suck on my clit. And start gently, you are neither a cat to flip it nor you are in the rush to catch the bus. And once you find out what I like, stop fucking changing the technique!!. Stick to the one that works, we can experiment some other time!!.

[bodiesnminds]

Wonderful, Ladies! Be explicit, we want to make you happy, tell us how! :-)

[southern-gin-deactivated2020111]

🙌🏻 this is gold!!! Solid gold!!!

[aloneafterdark-deactivated20180]

Sharing this because everyone should know!

[unusualrussia]

Russian hockey player with the ridiculous penalty shootout

[bnprime]

a hero

[wombat-annihilator-deactivated2]

what in the hell

[danthemedicman]

Aesthetic 

[neurodivergent-crow]

Is this legal??

[yeahiwasintheshit]

THIS IS MONEY PENIS, REBLOG WITHIN 5 MINUTES AND MONEY WILL COME ALL OVER YOU WITHIN 24 HOURS

[prguitarman]

Shoot your money all over my face

[yeahiwasintheshit]

i just posted this stupid thing last night and i swear to god my brother came over today and said oh by the way heres the $300 i owe you. no fucking lie!

[jaimeworks-deactivated20240606]

I need money so why not? Let’s try 😋

[peehat]

(to the tune of uptown girl) uptown rat. he wears a very silly pointy hat

[donkeykongsixtyfour]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

look I know the instructions were right there but you have no idea how much time I spent trying to sing this to the tune of uptown funk

[startrekdeepspacenine]

me @ very talkative cats: i love you so much. please continue your story. tell me about your day. i love you

[stephanies-suicide-solution]

@cddrummer sluggo

[throwbackblr]

[ruinedchildhood]