ilya really really really wants a secret door in their ottawa house, not the cottage the one they invite people to, purely bc he was really into spy movies as a kid and thinks it would be really cool. at first shane thinks it’s a stupid waste of money, but for christmas/ilya’s birthday he installs one that goes down to the basement, its like a bookshelf probably maybe it’s in the trophy room idk.
ilya sets up a den down there and it’s all cosy and shane ribs him for it and is like ‘oh you should show the team next time they come over for game night’ and ilya like ‘😒 would not be a secret door then would it kotenok’ so the cens don’t know about the door even though ilya is DYING to show them.
one day they have a gathering at the house and shane starts to get really overstimulated so he goes up to their room but people keep coming to find him and bring him back so eventually he just sighs and is like fine! i’ll use the stupid secret door! fuck it! and he disappears downstairs.
ilya’s like ?? where is husband?? he checks the house and can’t find him, people are asking where he is, and then it hits him and he feels so vindicated “shane thought secret door was stupid, is not so stupid now”.
once he’s efficiently gotten everyone out of the building he goes to find his husband in his cosy lil basement, all tucked up in blankets, having fallen asleep watching a hockey documentary and he carries him up to bed giving him a little kiss on the forehead














