What do you think the conversation was like when Tera told Emmanuel she was pregnant?
This ask finally inspired me to write this fic. Thank you, anon!
The Abbot's Child (A Castlevania Nocturne Prequel)
Summary: Tera tells Emmanuel that she’s pregnant with his child. He has a crisis of faith and doesn’t know what to do. Tera never expected that she would have a child under such circumstances and she’s both excited and terrified. A Castlevania Nocturne prequel oneshot.
Author's Note: This idea has been floating in my head for a while. I've even gotten a few requests to write about it. Well, inspiration finally struck and now we have this! NGL this was a challenge for me because I hate Emmanuel so gd much. But I tried to imagine what he was like in Tera’s eyes early in their relationship. I mean there’s a reason Maria exists after all. I hope you enjoy this sad angsty fic. Thanks to everyone who supports and reads my work, I appreciate you so much!
CW FOR XENOPHOBIA AND RELIGIOUS CONTENT
Abbot Emmanuel was sitting at his desk in the parish office, working on his newest sermon. A soft knock was heard at the door.
“Come in.” he called, not looking up from his work. The door creaked open.
“Hello Emman- Father Abbot,” Tera started, sounding tired. “May I have a few moments of your time?”
Emmanuel briefly looked away from his work and smiled at the young woman. “Ah, Tera. Yes of course, please have a seat.”
Tera closed the door behind her and slowly walked to the chair in front of Emmanuel’s desk. She gingerly lowered herself into a sitting position, keeping a hand on her stomach. Emmanuel took a closer look at Tera; she had bags under her eyes and she looked pale.
“Is everything all right, Tera?” Emmanuel asked, genuinely concerned. “Forgive me for saying so, but you look unwell.”
Tera couldn’t meet Emmanuel’s eyes. “That’s what I wanted to speak with you about.”
Emmanuel raised an eyebrow and his face hardened. “The townspeople aren’t still harassing you for being a foreigner, are they?”
Tera shook her head. “No. I mean, not any more than they already do. It’s something else.”
“What is it? You know you can tell me anything, Tera. Remember what I told you when you first arrived at our abbey? That I would do everything in my power to make you comfortable in your new home?”
Tera looked like she was going to cry. She felt like that a lot these days. There was no use prolonging this. Emmanuel needed to know. Tera took a deep breath.
“Emmanuel… I’m pregnant.”
The silence was deafening. Emmanuel stared at Tera with a slightly dropped jaw, an unreadable expression on his face.
“Pregnant.” Tera finished.
A million thoughts ran through Emmanuel’s mind. Almost a full minute had passed and he still hadn't responded.
“Emmanuel, please say something.” Tera asked, making an effort to keep her voice level but feeling her anxiety grow with each word.
“I,” Emmanuel started, still having no idea what to say. “A man back in Russia. Someone in your Speaker tribe, perhaps?”
“You know I wouldn’t be telling you about this if that were the case.”
Emmanuel opened and closed his mouth, unable to believe what he was hearing. There had to be another explanation.
“But it was only one night,” Emmanuel said aloud to himself, panic starting to set in. “Are you sure you’re pregnant?”
“I’ve been throwing up nearly every morning this last week,” Tera answered. Her cheeks turned pink and she looked down. “And… I haven’t had my monthly blood since that night.”
Reality started setting in for Emmanuel and he turned as pale as Tera.
“There’s not… there had to be another man you were intimate with in Russia. There’s no-“
“Emmanuel, it’s yours!” Tera exclaimed, louder than she intended. Tears were running down her face. “I’m pregnant with your child!”
“Shhhh, keep your voice down,” Emmanuel whispered urgently, rushing to his windows to close the curtains. He took the seat next to Tera and saw how bereft and scared she was. It reminded him of the first time she arrived at the abbey from Russia, and he felt his heart break for the young woman.
“I already love it, Emmanuel,” Tera said through a sob, placing her hand back on her stomach. “I can barely feel our child, but I know it’s there, and I love it so much.”
Emmanuel held Tera’s hands in his and looked at her stomach, even though it was far too early for Tera to be showing. As worried as Emmanuel was, he had to admit that he was a little excited about having a child of his own. But he was so conflicted; these feelings went against his every priestly vow. And he had his reputation to think of.
“This will all work out somehow, Tera. I’ll make sure of it,” Emmanuel said resolutely. “Let me think for a second…”
They sat in silence again, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Would you consider leaving the priesthood?” Tera asked tentatively yet hopefully. “Maybe we could move a few towns over, build a small house and raise our child together.”
“You know I can’t just leave the priesthood, Tera,” he answered heavily. “I made a vow to put God first before all else. And my monks, we’ve been through so much together. I can’t just abandon them.”
Tera expected this answer, but she was still disappointed. She felt the same as Emmanuel, a mixture of panic and excitement at having a child. Her entire family had been killed in Russia 5 months ago. Her sister… Tera couldn’t bear to think about what happened to her sister again, what Tera had to do to her sister. But with the promise of a new child came the promise of Tera having a family again.
Emmanuel and his monks at the abbey were the only ones in Machecoul who had shown Tera a modicum of kindness when she arrived in town. Emmanuel especially. She had been heavily traumatized and full of adrenaline, but he put a strong hand on her shoulder and promised her comfort and shelter. For the first time since the vampire attack, Tera felt safe. Tera and Emmanuel spent more time together and shared their deepest heart’s desires with each other, which ultimately led to the child Tera was now carrying. She loved Emmanuel. She wanted him by her side to raise their child. She didn’t know what she would do if she was left to raise the child alone. If she still had a Speaker tribe, she’d have an entire community to help her raise her baby. But she didn’t have anything anymore.
“It’s going to be even harder if I have to stay in Machecoul, Emmanuel,” Tera started crying again. “I won’t just be a ‘suspicious foreigner,’ I’ll be a suspicious foreigner and a single mother. I can already hear the horrible things the townspeople will say to me.”
Emmanuel hated seeing Tera cry. And he knew she was right about the townspeople. He and his monks tried to sway public opinion on foreigners, tried to spread messages of love and acceptance in his weekly sermons. But Machecoul was a fairly conservative town and his words could only do so much. If he was honest, he didn’t want to stay in this town either. Leaving with Tera and raising their child appealed to him more with every second. But then he remembered that he was a man of God, and that there were consequences of committing such a sin. The conflict within him was tearing his mind apart.
“God I wish I could just run away with you and raise our child away from everything else.” Emmanuel said, feeling tears in his eyes.
“Then let’s do it!” Tera pleaded. “I know you want to! You’ve told me as much!”
Emmanuel looked into Tera’s eyes; those beautiful emerald green eyes that he fell in love with all those months ago. He put a hand on her face and stared at her. She stared right back, hopeful expression on her face, thinking that he might just say yes. But just as quickly, he looked away.
“I need to pray,” Emmanuel said. “I need to ask God for guidance. This isn’t a decision to be made in the spur of the moment. Give me a week and I’ll give you an answer.”
Tera deflated, losing her optimism.
“Yes. A week. That’s fair.” She replied, looking down again.
“In the meantime, rest as much as you can. I’ll tell the nuns in the dormitory that you haven’t been feeling well and to check on you regularly. Until then, it would be in both of our best interests if we kept the details of this conversation private.”
“Yes, of course. Thank you, Emmanuel.”
Tera stood up from the chair and made her way to the door. Before she left, she turned to him one more time.
“For what it’s worth, Emmanuel: I think you’d be a wonderful father.”
And with that, Emmanuel was alone again. He held his head down and rubbed his temples. Then he put his hands together and prayed.
A week had passed in the blink of an eye. Tera was sitting at Emmanuel’s desk again, a little color back in her cheeks. Emmanuel smiled kindly.
“You’re looking better than you did last week, Tera.” He observed.
“Yes, the nuns have been taking very good care of me,” Tera replied. “I haven’t told anybody about my condition, but I think the sisters know. They’ve been giving me extra helpings during mealtimes.”
“I’m not surprised. They have very good intuition about these sorts of things.”
An awkward silence followed, both avoiding the one thing they knew they had to talk about. Emmanuel took a deep breath.
“I can’t do it Tera,” he said, looking pained. “I’ve prayed to God again and again all week, and every single time He’s told me that my place is here. The people of Machecoul are lost and need spiritual guidance. My monks and I need to spread His Word in order to save these wayward souls. It’s a purpose larger than you or I. I cannot ignore my Lord when he has given me such a command. I’m truly sorry, Tera.”
Tera always knew there was a possibility that Emmanuel wouldn’t stay with her. But hearing it in that moment was a gut punch. She felt the tears in her eyes before she could stop them.
“Oh Emmanuel.” She said as the tears ran down her face.
“But I promise that you’ll be taken care of, Tera. Both you and our child. I’ll ensure that you have everything you need.”
Tera felt an amalgamation of emotions: sadness, rage, disappointment, confusion. Although she understood Emmanuel’s decision, she wanted to fight, wanted to change his mind. But she couldn’t muster up the will to try. She fought so much for the home and family that she eventually lost in Russia. The last few months had been a whirlwind. She was absolutely exhausted to the point of burnout. So she stayed silent but attentive.
“There is a cottage on the outskirts of town that is property of the church,” Emmanuel started. “I am giving it to you. It’s far enough away that the townspeople shouldn’t bother you, but it’s close enough that you can see the abbey from there. It’s surrounded by forest and open space. It's the perfect environment for a growing child. But we’ll wait to move you in until after the baby is born. It’s a better idea for you to stay in the dormitories around people who can help you when the time comes.”
“I see. That sounds lovely.” Tera replied, though her voice sounded hollow. “What do I say when people ask who the father is? I haven’t been in Russia for months. The timing doesn’t line up.”
“Hmm… a late pregnancy, perhaps?” Emmanuel suggested. “That happens sometimes, doesn’t it? You can say that the baby’s father was killed in Russia and you didn’t know you were pregnant until now.”
Tera sighed. “Yes. I suppose that’s the only option. Is this what I should also tell our child when they grow up and start asking questions?”
“Yes. I believe that’s for the best,” Emmanuel replied guiltily. “Of course this means that we’ll need to spend significantly less time together so we don’t arouse suspicion. But I can still meet with you periodically. As a priest, I call tell my order that I’m making home visits to provide you with religious guidance. And there’s one more thing… I would really like our child to have a holy name; Marco for a boy or Maria for a girl. Would you be amenable to this?”
For the first time since the start of this discussion, Tera smiled. She looked at her stomach lovingly. “Maria's a beautiful name.”
“Then it’s settled,” Emmanuel concluded. “You should go back to the dormitory and rest. You can tell the nuns that you’re pregnant now. They’ll send a midwife to care for you for the next few months.”
Tera started to stand and Emmanuel was by her side, offering her his hand so she could keep her balance. They looked at each other one more time, knowing that as soon as Tera exited that room, their relationship would never be the same. Their lips met in a deep, passionate kiss that they wanted to have last for as long as possible. They separated in silence and Tera headed for the door.
“Farewell, Emmanuel,” Tera said softly, her hand on the doorknob. “If, by some divine intervention, you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“Yes. Farewell, Tera.” Emmanuel replied with husky fatigue.
When he heard the door click closed, Emmanuel sat back at his desk and buried his head in his hands. Was this really the best decision?
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