i’m projecting

dee | 24 | they/them | queer main blog @ditzyoracle 💜💜💜💜

[stfuimprojecting]

hello hello i’m dee :)

my main blog is @ditzyoracle, so i’ll be liking, following, and replying from there

currently writing for: heated rivalry, 9-1-1, and descendants

please send me prompts or requests! i'm open to any fandom as long as i've posted about them before

you can read my fic on ao3

all fic are tagged #ditzyfanfic and works in progress are tagged #ditzywip

p.s. come say hi! i promise i'm friendly and will geek out with you

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

[lucylehane]

"The sex tells the story, so it never felt gratuitous to me. The sex is character development. The sex is what is moving this relationship forward, and watching it change over time."

Jacob Tierney on It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[anincompletelist]

hollanov x good boy (x2)

[stfuimprojecting]

it took a month but i did in fact write a new within these walls fic!!

Ruby Red Wishes and Impenetrable Shields

But Jay remembers his mama as honeyed lullabies, like the first bite of syrup soaked baklava, the most loving thing he’s ever known. Her fingers, always dancing through his hair, gently detangling the knots. Her arms, always holding him close and hugging him tight. Jay’s ear pressed against her sternum, even now he can hear her rushing pulse, irregular and panicked and in sync with his own.

[bambistjames]

non-writers will never understand the mental illness of writing an entire conversation in your head while doing dishes and then forgetting every word the second you open a blank doc

[ilyasvodka]

has anyone drawn this with Shane & Ilya yet

[princejeanot]

Op the vision is hilarious, you win

[ilyapasta]

I think Ilya enjoys reinventing himself a bit after his move to Ottawa. Shedding components of his old self in favor of the new. He is now guy who loves dogs. Guy who is on friendly terms with the gay social media manager. Guy who is secretive about how he spends his private time. Guy who goes on mental health walks. Guy who goes to Scott Hunter’s gay bar. Guy who has made sacrifices for something important. Guy who has an air of quiet mystique. Guy who is so in love he thinks it must be written all over his face. Guy who is the most depressed he’s ever been despite occasional ecstatic happiness. Guy who looks forward to the Summer.

[ilyapasta]

@wannabetonthat How dare you make this point so succinctly and with so much nuance??? Love.

[fractally]

Yeah (as an immigrant myself) I think a lot about how epochal Ilya’s life must feel. I think in his head he’s almost three different people—in Russia he was the troubled son aching for a way out, in America the wild playboy trying to outrun his own pain, in Canada the devoted husband weighed down by secrets. Because it’s not really the first time he’s had a blank canvas—he had one when he moved to America too. And the person he invented is who we spend all of HR with, and then he reinvents in Ottawa

I do think that Ottawa!Ilya (vis a vis the depression) is the closest to the “true” Ilya in that as noted above it’s the first Ilya without the expectations of his family and his father.

But I bet Ilya finds it very strange to line up the cards in his mind and think about the different people he’s been. Especially compared to Shane, whose constancy is one of his most obvious traits

[whichie]

in my world Shane was good friends with his high school girlfriend Jessica NoLastName before they started dating, and in the comphet queer experience they vibed so hard with each other they were like "so I guess you're my boyfriend/girlfriend, because that's what boys and girls are Supposed To Do when they like each other". they just hang out like usual but then sometimes they try to have sex and neither of them are that into it, and they're just relieved the other one isn't that upset about the lackluster experience to examine why that is lol. and that lasts through draft day like in canon, where in this au Shane would be more tore up about breaking it off with Jessica because he thinks they can't still be friends after, because boys aren't Supposed To Be friends with their exes.

but he's joining the MLH and she's going to college in Ottawa, so they end up breaking up after all and they're both devastated because that's their best friend and it's weird now. I don't think they talk much or even at all for Shane's rookie year, and this really sucks for him because he's having these new experiences with hockey and sex and the one person he would have talked to is Jessica, who he should not want to still be friends with because no girl wants her boyfriend to still talk to his ex girlfriend, and eventually he'll get a new girlfriend, someday.

then the Metros get booted out of the playoffs, the whole rooftop confrontation at the awards in vegas, and then the summer passes, and he's just got back to Montreal from the cottage when he gets a knock on the door, and there is Jessica, holding the strap to a duffel bag with tears in her eyes saying she has no where else to go, her parents kicked her out. she's gay, Shane. they hate that she's gay more than they love her. he thinks about telling her he's been with boys too, but it's really just Rozanov and that's not going anywhere, so he hugs her and chickens out on telling her they're more alike than they thought, because he's not gay.

she's a full time art student on scholarship and doesn't have a job, of course he lets her stay with him for as long as she needs, and they fall back into their best friendship easily. and when she does get a job she transfers colleges to the university in Montreal, and she starts making noises about finding her own place, but Shane realizes he didn't like living alone. so, they just keep being roommates.

his parents and teammates are so happy for him getting a girlfriend, and he can't find a way to tell them it's not like that without explaining why. so he doesn't. but they keep trying to get Jessica to team events, and Jackie wants her in the WAGs chat, and eventually Shane invites her to dinner with them and says look, please do me a solid and pretend to be my girlfriend. and of course she's like Shane just get a girlfriend why do I have to pretend. and, well, there's really no way out but to explain that he doesn't want one, and he thinks he's gay? cue a panic attack because holy shit Jessica he can't be gay.

she calms him down and they go to the party as his friend and he takes her everywhere with him after that. do not separate a gay boy and his emotional support butch. all the Metros are like holy shit, Shane has feelings for this girl and she does NOT reciprocate. but it works in that no one tries to set him up with random girls anymore.

[whichie]

get peer reviewed @scunthotter because you are so correct. imagine if that one glorious moment where Ilya went to 2017 all stars weekend intending to be Shane's mistress had lasted the whole first few years they were hooking up. because you know the hockey gossip would be all over the whole 'high school sweethearts' bit so Ilya can't even claim to have had Shane first. but he's giving him something Jessica No Name could never provide she's not even a hockey player she doesn't challenge him like Ilya does she can't push and push and push until they're both standing alone at the top, together. but never together.

[mybeautifuldarktwistedshane]

We (rightfully) make fun of shane for putting on a suit before their first hookup but we should also be making fun of ilya for wearing a fashionable denim jacket. They were staying in the same hotel. he put that jacket on just to down the hall and up the elevator. he only wore it because he thought shane would think it looked cool (he did) and that shane would love a sexy little striptease (he did). Embarrassing!

[mandycantdecide]

shane on his knees during their first hookup

[itsalwaysforyou]

i’m much too old for this / but i’m not over it

jal + ‘buckle’ by florence + the machine

[itsalwaysforyou]

jal + slacker by chloe moriondo………

[subsequentibis]

not an apologizer but a contextualizer. yes the character did that but please understand the Circumstance. yes they had other options but they had to make this choice in a sea of available bad choices. and also it made the narrative more interesting. won't anybody think about the narrative!!!!!

[sevenxseveneyes]

i love you female characters who make selfish choices they know will be bad for everyone. i love you female characters who think they're making the right choice but make things worse. i love you female characters who are making the right choice but noone else understands it.

[eyeslashes]

two idiots nodding their heads and making progressively worse decisions but they are so serious about it

[stfuimprojecting]

yall if you were following me way back when i was primarily a descendants blog, im happy to say im back on my bullshit

writing a new within these walls jay fic and hoping to post soon :)