daddy’s back with the oat milk

collecting posts i like. this has become my general, mostly non-fandom blog for everything not d20 tbh

[stilllturningout]

my dropout obsession has only gotten stronger so I’ve made a side blog @20dimensionalchaos to reblog stuff (and maybe post stuff? we’ll see). it’s mostly me being really into brennan lee mulligan if i’m honest

[inber]

let's see through space and time with mama

[gallusrostromegalus]

At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.

The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"

I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.

Our flight is delayed.

He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".

Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Uh oh.

Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.

The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.

He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.

[gallusrostromegalus]

HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.

I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.

[gallusrostromegalus]

"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."

"OR ELSE WHAT?"

"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"

"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"

"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"

"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"

*hangs up phone*

*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*

The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.

"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"

[gallusrostromegalus]

Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.

2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.

3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.

"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say

"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."

"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.

4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.

"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.

"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"

"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"

"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."

"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."

"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"

"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.

"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.

2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.

3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.

4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.

5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:

Now that I've heard the word aloud, and they are an astrophysicist. Who correctly believes in being comfy as fuck on planes. They are also familar with the concept of a meet-cute and is rooting for them too.

Got to walk the nice lady and her Tactical Assault Shiba to her next gate because it was on the way out and talk for a bit. Donut is called that not because he is the color of a Donut (which he is) but because he likes to sleep curled up in a perfect circle. He has a sister who does the same thing named Bagel.

Lost track of Pinot and Cheeseguy for a bit but when I saw them again at Baggage claim, Cheeseguy was holding both their jackets, and Pinot was on the phone to his hotel about "Well do you have any rooms with TWO beds?". The rest of the call indicated that yes, there were rooms with two beds, but Readers, I Had A Moment.

:)

Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!

[dduane]

Another inimitable epic from @gallusrostromegalus.

[reddwoods]

if you’re craving chocolate muffins after the olympic muffin man videos, jordan the stallion on tiktok has the recipe for you

[alexia-morgan-rhys-art]

Sparkly Koi fish. ❤️

Watercolors: Schmincke Metallic Watercolors: Lisilinka Paper: Hahnemühle

[pocketss]

distressing things to say to your friends

[queerromancerecs]

Hi! Do you have a list of historical f/f romances? I have read all historical f/f by Olivia Waite, Annick Trent, KJ Charles, Cat Sebastian, and Jess Everlee, and i can’t seem to find any others! (Also read Freya Marske’s historical fantasy). I love historical queer romance and I don’t mind reading mainly m/m (or other queer pairings) but I’d really like to get some more f/f in the mix!

Well you've mentioned the big names in this ask (and mentioned Sarah Waters in your second ask) so I asked around on my main first and received two recs from @strinak which were The High Priestess by Parhelion on AO3 (it was originally a novel published by Torquere) and Romancing the Inventor by Gail Carriger.

There are some historicals here under the ship type f/f tag, though some might be considered f/nb as well as I can recall.

I've also recced a shorter historical f/f here which is also under that tag. And have read some on AO3 as well, though the only ones I can think of offhand were written by KannaOphelia

But if anyone here has any more, feel free to comment or reblog with a comment (or submit it as a post, so I can officially tag it.)

[elvesarebad]

My time to shine?? I keep an eye out for f/f historical romances since they are my jam:

i believe in the notes, All the Painted Stars by Emma Denny has been rec'd - I second.

More than a Best Friend - Emma R. Alban. fun slightly anachronistic romp feat. parent trap matchmaking shenanigans (they aren't very good at it but it's fun)

The Spinsters of Inverley series - Jane Walsh. First book is best friends to lovers feat. one of them suddenly becoming an heiress (plus con men!); second is one night stand that turns into a dash to Gretna Green to stop her brother/her charge from getting hitched; third is secret duchess meets down on her luck spinster in need of a place to stay. friendships also important.

Her Lady to Love, Her Countess to Cherish, Her Duchess to Desire - also by Jane Walsh. Her Lady to Love is Jane Walsh's first and it kinda shows, but the rest definitely rec. Her Countess to Cherish is f/nb but the rest are f/f

i haven't read the rest of the series by Fenna Edgewood (i think they're mostly m/f), but The Bluestocking Beds Her Bride i remember being pretty fun and was a good standalone

Ladies Own Bakery seasons one and two - Judith Lynne. I absolutely 100% recommend this series, it is sooo good. after their mother's death and down on their luck, the Bickering sisters open a bakery. mostly m/f but does have f/f storylines. These are serialised with Judith Lynne's newsletter but are eventually publish all in one per "season." She is also writing a novella called She Tamed the Lady which I am eagerly awaiting. The characters appear in her Lords and Undefeated Ladies series, which I also rec though majority is m/f with one m/m

The Haunting of Heatherhurst Hall - Sebastian Nothwell. gay Crimson Peak sort of? it's very good and i totally wasn't expecting the twist. Kit simply asking "can't we just leave?" remains best.

The Luring of a Lovely Lady - Emma Locke. part of a series that I believe is mostly m/f. i looove the cover. age gap.

The Perks of Loving a Wallflower - Erica Ridley. the cover is lovely but soooo inaccurate lol these are not the characters! f/nb. i also rec the Wild Wynchesters series as a whole if you like heist shenanigans and there are two novellas which feature characters from Perks, though they aren't romances, more heisty romps - the Rake Mistake and the Modiste Mishap

Night Flyer series - Edale Lane. i had some issues with this series but on the whole, it's pretty good. masked vigilante meets merchant's widow in Renaissance Italy

The Wife in the Attic - Rose Lerner. a gay and Jewish Jane Eyre retelling. very good - would recommend. I think it was initially released as an audiobook but is now available in other formats

The Misadventures of an Amateur Naturalist - Ceinwen Langley. f/f Beauty and the Beast need i say more. but no seriously, it's great

Goodbye, My Rose Garden - Dr Pepperco. manga set in early 1900s in a maid falls in love with a noblewoman

Dr Todson's Home for Incorrigible Women - Riley Lashea. Victorian era, set in an asylum. has two f/f relationships iirc

The Animals at Lockwood Manor - Jane Healey. set during WWII when the contents of the natural history museum are relocated in a manor in the English countryside. has a pretty creepy vibe throughout - you can feel the dread - and gets dark near the end as shit comes to light (warning for CSA)

Gothic Historical Romances series - Patty G. Henderson. what it says on the tin. i've only read a couple of them but i remember them being, well, gothic and also a bit silly

Two Wings to Fly Away - Penny Mickelbury. set in 1856 Philadelphia. iirc this felt more about the characters than the romance, but there is a romance. the sequel just came out!

Mrs Martin's Incomparable Adventure - Courtney Milan. old lady yuri, anyone? a novella, so pretty short but i believe they set a building on fire

Nancy Clue & Cherry Aimless series - Mabel Maney. published in the 1990s, features lesbian girl detectives Nancy Drew and Cherry Ames (warning CSA, i think in the second book). Mabel Maney also has a Jane Bond parody series.

A Lady's Desire - Lily Maxton. part of the Townsends series, which I do recommend as well (mostly m/f with one m/m which features a thieving cat)

Alpennia series - Heather Rose Jones. starting with Daughter of Mystery, it features bodyguard x noblewoman, but subsequent books features different characters, all f/f i think. Heather Rose Jones also has a podcast called The Lesbian Historic Motif Podcast.

Out of the Woods - T.J. Land. horror with the two mains discovering a corpse in the mushroom patch that won't decay, very good and I love Ruth and Hermana.

i think there's more but i've spent an hour on this...

[fascistsarefreefood]

Daily reminder that we do not actually live in a dystopian movie put the apocalypse down and back away slowly. You know when your cleaning a room and you pull everything out of it's draws to sort through it and you're like "what the fuck have I done I'm never going to be able to tidy all of this" I think that's the stage we're at in the world. Thanks to social media we've pulled out all the messed up shit from the cupboards of the world, it was always there but now we can see it and we're going to have to sort it all out we made this mess and we can fix it. Falling to the floor sobbing will not clean a crusty room. A group of people working systematically (preferably with music in the background) will.

[roach-works]

[shinyhill]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: thousand-year-old drinking game

[baejax-the-great]

Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn't dream up if we tried

[random-brushstrokes]

Martin Erich Horst (German, 1881-1938) - Parlor with old man peeling potatoes

[xanaxfarts]

Lake Burlinskoye Location: Altai Krai, Western Siberia

Lake Burlinskoye is a pink lake in Siberia with a train that runs through it. The train collects sediment from the lake bed using harvesting tools, as a part of a salt harvesting operation dating back to 1768. This method yields 65,000 tons of salt each year.

[huariqueje]

Surfers Incredible on Blue - Kathleen Keifer

American , b. 1963 -

Acrylic on canvas , 12 x 12 in.

[twentythousandvolts]

early stages of friendship are Soooo embarrassing like yea sorry....... it's me again............ i enjoy talking to you and spending time with you....... you can shoot me point blank if you want i dont mind

[expressions-of-nature]

Fontainebleau State Park, Louisiana by Lana Gramlich

[kaijuno]

Kamloops, BC

[stilllturningout]

in the forest today