@stomachflowers-blog - Tumblr Blog

Do you guys think we could ever live in a world without any crime? In high school, I had this discussion with my sociology teacher, and one theory was no, we can’t. Even if we had a world without murder, rape, and all that, the definition of crime itself would change in the hypothetical community. So perhaps something like dropping plates will have as much penalty as murder. And by this theory, a Utopian community can never exist.

angelicguy

this got 100k? jesus

jeoff-deactivated20170909

this is so woke no wonder

stomachflowers-blog

Anything in life is only a comparison to something else

residentgoodgirl

aphony-cree

this is why I love this joke:

Jesus was fond of telling his followers not to worry about how they’d afford food tomorrow because God would provide. But Jesus told them this while handing out free bread and encouraging them to help people who were in need, making them the outlet through which God would provide for others

My mother was a waitress, we live in an area that has a lot of Christians and people would often stiff her on tips. Instead they’d leave a pamphlet with quotes from Jesus saying not to worry because God would provide

Jesus’ message was never that God would magically put food on people’s tables. God would provide opportunities to help each other, like the boat captains offering to help the dying man. That only works if people actually help each other

When I first heard this joke as a teenager I laughed at the guy who didn’t take the help that was offered to him. As an adult, I think of all the Christian politicians who vote against food stamps and I want to tell them “You were the boat captain but you steered away from the man in need instead of offering him help. Is that really what God wanted you to do?”

xueyangapologist

i envy people who have dreams with clear rational plots like “i was on my favourite tv show for a day” my dreams are like i’m in a diner and i’m pregnant. i leave the diner and i’m in a forest watching the pregnant woman who is no longer me. she turns around and now we’re in a jeep and she’s my dad. we’re listening to music which is somehow numbers. he asks if i remember the time we went to pakistan and i say yeah because i do. i wake up and remember i’ve never been to pakistan in my life.

afaerytalelife

katswenski

pattythenest

Are you fucking kidding me

humoristics

The thing with statistics - via

angremlin-deactivated20250312

Numbers don’t lie but people can sure as fuck pick and choose the numbers they give you and phrase things to make them sound like they mean things they don’t

agentumbls

learn fucking stats or at least how they can hurt

karethdreams

As a wise man once said: There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.

earthdad

touché rednecks

jazzhermit

Buttholes dont give you cancer

tchaikovsgay

That’s a sentence I never expected to read but you’re not wrong

stability

Kind of want someone to snuggle me at night and bring me flowers from outside but also simultaneously struggling to feel anything at all

#can I even have feelings for someone for more than 5 minutes #who knows

Sometimes I have weird experiences that I think are funny or interesting but then I try to tell people about them and they're like "wtf why were you and her stepdad full-throttle taking turns punching each in the gut "

#idk to prove my strength #I don't even remember how it even got there #4 shots in and....