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any advice on confronting someone who traumatized you? i know he didn't do it in purpose and i want to talk to him about it, but I don't know how to start that conversation-

been sitting on this for a hot minute but

ONLY DO THIS IF YOURE SAFE. ONLY DO THIS IF YOU HAVE A WAY TO STOP THE CONVERSATION. ONLY DO THIS IF YOU ARE NOT DEPENDENT ON HIM

be blunt. dont give him room for back talk

if he starts gaslighting or guilt tripping, assert that this is how you feel. ask him why he feels the need to make this about him/why he's so sure he remembers better than you and don't take any bullshit excuses.

when you've said your peace, leave.

do not comfort him.

now is not the time to accept apologies. let him leave and evaluate his behaviour before you even consider this.

it's going to suck and it's goung to be emotionally taxing and upsetting.

it doesn't matter if he didn't mean to hurt you. he still did. unintentional abuse is still abuse all the same.

parentless-suggestions

You call gay people perverts and pedophiles. You say they are possessed with demons and it should be illegal to be gay. You beat me over the head with the bible so much. I know you don’t know I’m a lesbian yet, but I can’t wait until I invite you to my gay wedding, and you can watch me legally marry her. And you might go home and cry but you will never cry as much as I did all those nights when I wanted a mom but I got a pastor.

gxlden-angels

the cdc says that if you're fully vaccinated, you're allowed to storm your church and demand they explain why they saw it fit to do what they did to you

bpdisfun

I get so uncomfortable when people who weren't raised Christian are like "if all the gays are going to hell I'd rather be in hell lol!!" like if you're an ex Christian and you make those jokes to cope and move past trauma that's completely valid but if you've never had night terrors of being burned alive, or never had images of tortured souls forced on you like it's not your joke to make. I'm still terrified of hell and I know this isn't people's intent but seeing people make these jokes feels like they're trivializing my fear. I know hell isn't real but when you have been taught your whole life that you are going to a place with eternal fire and torment, where it's so dark you can't see yourself blink, and the only company you'll have is the feeling of complete desperation, loneliness, fear it's not easy to just move past and make light of it

passionfruitandvelvet

you’re gonna survive and you’re gonna grow up and you’re gonna leave that house. or community. or group, or person. you will.

you’re gonna find yourself a chosen family. and they’ll find you. they’ll seek you out, or you’ll find yourself surrounded by them one day, or they’ll filter in 1 by 1. but they’ll be there. and they’re gonna show you what love and friendship and community mean beyond any of the limits you once knew.

you’re gonna recover. you’re gonna learn who you’ve always been beneath it all, who you have the power to become after. this pain and these aftereffects will not always be your whole life. one day you’re gonna have the power to decide what is.

you’re gonna be stirring dinner on the stove one night when it hits you, amidst the laughter and warmth, that you’re standing right in the middle of the life you once ached to have.

you will. 💕 you can. no matter how thoroughly you believe it, you will not always be where you are.

notmentallyright

don’t repost pls

hellowearerats

qunari

one of the worst myths perpetuated in fiction i think is the idea that teenagers get angry and hate their parents for no real reason. it's one of the endless ways older folks trivialize the real hurt and frustration and pain that teenagers experience - which, with no small amount of irony, can come from that very kind of trivialization.

when i was an angry and hormonal teenager, i was taught i was having a rebellious phase. my mother taught me i was being disrespectful to her. media taught me it was a product of being an irrational teenager. but when that shit didn't fade as i grew up, when i grew even more bitter towards her, i started learning that it was actually a completely rational response to the literal years of abuse from her. i wasn't just angry, i was traumatized. still am.

and to this day, I've never met a teenager who is "irrationally" hateful towards their parents. and maybe that's a product of not knowing any entitled rich kids, but my point stands. teenagers are real people with real emotions, which don't come out of nowhere or exist for no reason. teenage anger and pain may be harder for them to express or control, but its existence is not irrational. and i HATE every depiction of the irrational, parent hating teenager in media who opposes all adults just because they are teenagers, rather than because of any of the very real reasons teenagers have to be angry and hurt.

every time the doorbell rings all my muscles tense up throughout my whole body and I go aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. then someone gets the door and I just gotta deal w the fact that all my muscles are gonna be tense for the next 10 min. why

#why is ptsd even here anymore go away fuck off #ptsd #idk

fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva

being mentally ill + suicidal at a young age (before 18) is. strange, because you grow up with this idea that one day you’ll finally snap, turn off, be brave enough to kill yourself, so you don’t really plan for the future. adulthood- further life, it isn’t for you, nor do you feel included within the future of it. it isn’t.. it isn’t part of your life plan.

and then before you know it you’re 18 and you’re an adult but you never thought you’d get this far and sure it’s great that you’re still alive you guess but also. you feel so alone + lost in a world you never expected or planned to be a part of.

flyingpurplepizzaeater

You don’t have to be grateful that it isn’t worse.

voidbat

read that. read it again, and again, and again. somebody, somewhere, always has it worse than you. there is one person on this planet that has it the worst of all, and that person is NOT the only person allowed to be unhappy with their lot. if things are bad for you, they are bad for you. period.

biwomensupport

This goes for trauma as well. A lot of times survivors get trapped in a cycle of minimizing/diminishing their trauma because “other people have it worse” - but there is no hierarchy of trauma. There is no ranking system for which traumas are “better” or “worse.” Your trauma is valid. Period.

gothiccharmschool

IMPORTANT TRUTHS.

lilbittydragon-deactivated20241

As a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor I’ve ever had has at some point said “But I didn’t have it as bad as some people” and then talked about how other types of trauma are worse. Even my most-traumatized, most-abused, most psychologically-injured clients say this.

The ones who were cheated on, abandoned, and neglected say this. The ones who were in dangerous accidents/disasters say this. The ones who were horrifyingly sexually abused say this. The ones who were brutally beaten say this. The ones who were psychologically tortured for decades say this. What does that tell you? That one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.

Don’t buy into it, because it’s nonsense. It doesn’t matter if someone else had it “worse.” Every person who experiences a trauma deserves to get the attention and care they need to heal from it.