asswoman

I ain't less of an asswoman just because I didn't write it in capitals

[huffylemon]

[valdotpng]

[horrorlesbians]

do you think hannibal would murder me if he watched me delicately place chips inside a sandwich and then smash it slowly before eating it

[horrorlesbians]

he’d either kill me or ask me why i prefer my sandwiches with chips and i’d shrug and say “i like the crunch”. which would prompt him to say something along the lines of “we often crave a taste more primitive, the crunching between our teeth used to be birthed from the snapping of bones from a fresh kill. is that what you are savoring for? tell me helena, do you hunger for brutality?”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tell me something nice

[kyraneko]

if you grow mushrooms over a toxic waste site, chemical spill, or other polluted growing medium, they will suck up the toxins into their fruiting bodies with such effectiveness that they are being studied for their ability to clean up tainted industrial sites. it’s called mycoremediation.

if you do this with edible mushrooms, they are no longer technically edible, but on the other hand they make a great way to poison your enemies. this is called murder and it’s usually frowned upon, but they won’t see it coming and you get bragging rights afterwards about your ability to kill people with a pizza topping.

[kyraneko]

Sorry this was not precisely most people’s idea of “nice.” Let me add that you are a glow of comforting absurdity in an ever-more-fucked-up world.

[mirage358]

I love everything about mycoremediation, but also

[zakubabbles]

Ugh, an friend from back in the day posted a photo of an airfryer that has captioned: “Airfryers are the PS5 for women”

i’m tired

[strangertoledo]

Fuck Van Gogh wasn't good at painting because of depression you fucks!!!! He just liked to paint fuck off!!!

[mshep]

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) / Cyberpunk 2077 (2020)

[tardis-mind-palace]

[strangertoledo]

Of course my mind would be boggled after seeing those two spooky warrior boys :D

[mshep]

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001) / Cyberpunk 2077 (2020)

[tardis-mind-palace]

[strangertoledo]

Of course my mind would be boggled after seeing those two spooky warrior boys :D

[cherrybeez]

🌺 a monster high commission 🌺

[foodffs]

8 HOLIDAY COCKTAIL RECIPES TO MAKE THIS SEASON

Follow for recipes

Is this how you roll?

[strangertoledo]

Stardew Valley made my ass flaccid and amorphous.

[strangertoledo]

I cum so hard every time I find a Prismatic Shard.

[silverhawk]

bush dogs look kind of like if a dog & a bear hooked up one night and produced:

like………tiny/short but they have a bear look to them and are so darn cute

[silima]

whatever force of god protected me from seeing the enormous amounts of reylo content that were apparently produced this year i am so grateful 🙏

[silima]

okay nevermind i want what this person got

[everythingfox]

Baby snakes chilling in a plant pot

(via)

[gae-bolg-alternative-dot-exe]

Please appreciate the absolute clownery that is this fight scene

[tench]

Me when i play dnd and can’t roll high enough to land a single hit for the whole battle

[eunnieboo]

thinking about her