(not) Official Johann Strauss II

Electric Boogaloo

[imagineyourhistoricalfigure]

Imagine your favorite historical figure as a gold statue

[mozart-fx-official]

@straussii-official bruh, aren’t you already a statue?

a golden statue in fact?

[straussii-official]

Why yes, friend.

Because I am, as the youth say, THAT BITCH.

[curreeusly-ominous-elf]

Me when someone says historical figures aren’t relatable

Yeah but did you hear about that time Schubert’s foot fell asleep while he was writing a letter to his brother and then he fell asleep because Schubert is 100% the most relatable composer ever

[curreeusly-ominous-elf]

So seeing as people enjoyed this relatable Schubert content I’m here to tell you that there is much more

“I spent all my money in like two days now what the HECK am I gonna do”

“MY FRIENDS NEVER TEXT ME BACK  CAN YOU DRAG THEM FOR ME” coupled with “Tell mom I’m doing laundry but I need pants so”

“Dear Mayerhofer stop being an asshole just because you vape, also @Hans Senn”

“WHY DO YOU NEVER TEXT ME B A C K ARE YOU DEAD OR SMTH”

“This asshole plays lute but he only knows Wonderwall and All the Small Things pls help”

And finally, one of my favourites:

WHEN YOU’RE SO GAY WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND SCHOBER THAT YOU LITERALLY MAKE A SHIP NAME TOGETHER

[curreeusly-ominous-elf]

GOOD NEWS: THERE IS MORE

“idk man I had a big lunch and now I’m tired I’m probably not making sense”

THIS BOY CANNOT SPELL AND I LOVE HIM

“I saw some prince’s cloak in a museum but it was p shit ngl :/”

“AYYYYYY BRO LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT ALL THIS P U S S Y I AM GETTING” (This one was literally addressed to his b r o t h e r I cannot believe)

2am shitposts featuring Nero are in right now, apparently

And this saga:

“IF YOU AREN’T GONNA SUCK MY DICK THEN JUST MARRY SOME GIRL IDGAF” (For extra humourous context: in the letter immediately before he’s literally p i n i n g after this guy I love)

HOLY SHIT UPDATE: IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS DRAMA THERE’S A BOOTY CALL

LIKE THIS IS THE ENTIRE LETTER IT’S LITERALLY A FUCKING B O O T Y C A L L I CANNOT BELIEVE

[sergeiprokofiev-official]

Reblog if you're a dead composer and is trying to make your future generation suffer

[mahler-official]

sorry ( not )

[ralphvaughanwilliams-official]

I DID NOT COME TO PLAY WITH YOU HOES

[franzliszt-official]

;)

[official-felixmendelssohn]

Goodbye, flutes.

[official-anton-bruckner]

fuck every instrument in particular

[cecilechaminade-official]

Hello flautists :)

[fredericchopin-official]

i only write impossible runs bc im aNGSTY

[papabach]

Oh, @official-alto and @official-soprano you need to breathe? I DON’T THINK SO

[franzwilhelmferling-official]

@official-oboes @official-oboedamore @official-bass-oboe @official-englishhorn HELLO MY OBOE CHILDREN

[energysophia]

Everyone seems to think I want them to suffer :(

[official-oboes]

You are wonderful but I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO GO THAT HIGH AND WITH THAT MANY SHARPS AT SUCH A HIGH SPEED

[johannesbrahms-official]

:)

[tchaikovsky-official]

I still want to see 1812 overture done with actual cannons. Not using cannons is a cop out.

[straussii-official]

You either waltz or you die dude

There is no escape from rhythms in threes

[icebuoyo]

MBTI Types As Classical Music.

•ESTJ: Vivaldi - Winter, from The Four Seasons. •ESFJ: Mozart - Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. •ENFJ: Shostakovich - Waltz Number 2. •ENTJ: Vivaldi - Concerto for Two Cellos in G Minor. •ESTP: Rimsky-Korsakov - Flight of the Bumblebee. •ESFP: Tchaikovsky - Trepak, from The Nutcracker Suite. •ENFP: Strauss - The Blue Danube Waltz. •ENTP: Rossini - Finale of The William Tell Overture. •ISTP: Grieg - Peer Gynt Suite Number 1. •ISFP: Hisaishi - One Summer’s Day. •INFP: Vivaldi - Spring, from The Four Seasons. •INTP: Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata, 3rd Movement. •ISTJ: Mozart - Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, 12 Variations. •ISFJ: Pachelbel - Canon in D. •INFJ: Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata, 1st Movement. •INTJ: Beethoven - Fur Elise.

[classical-crap]

what on earth do you have against half of the signs?

what did the ISFJs ever do to you?

[trumpet-jesus]

Rip….EMFP got it almost as bad with fucking strauss….why does this exist….its repetitive just in different keys and steps and its the same but different and everyone fuckin knows it but nobody KNOWS it and where it came from yet if u play this to a 5 year old theyre like “yeah its that thing that repeats but technically doesnt repeat and in like every movie with a ballroom scene” @straussii-official hwy hte fukc It makes me dizzy THINKING about this piece

[straussii-official]

I CANNOT BELIEVE ALL THESE FLAVOURS AND YOU CHOSE TO BE S A L T ABOUT THE B L U E D A N U B E WA L T Z WHICH PEOPLE LOVE MUCH MORE THAN THEY'LL EVER LOVE YOUR PETTY ASS S WE ATY :)

[curreeusly-ominous-elf]

Me: sits in practise room quietly, looking at sheet music Pianist next door: suddenly starts playing fortissimo Beethoven right next to the wall I’m leaning against Me: dies from shock and ascends to heaven, where Beethoven is waiting to laugh at me

[die-erlkoenigin]

your fave is problematic: beethoven

-scared my girlfriend

[vanbeethoven-official]

SHE MINE NOW

[straussii-official]

You’re in the club and this guy plays subito fortissimo at your girlfriend What do you do

[you-had-me-at-a-major]

Obviously, you outdo him with the Mahler 6 hammer.

[straussii-official]

But the Mahler 6 hammer is the hammer of fate Beethoven loves him some fate Wouldn't it just make him stronger . . . (And would he even be able to hear it anyway)

[laurennoelle4-deactivated201904]

Turn up for Strauss

[doubleflopflat]

open teeth more

[straussii-official]

EVERYONE’S GETTING TURNT FOR THE OTHER STRAUSSES AND YET NO-ONE APPRECIATES A GOOD TURN AROUND THE ROOM IN THE FORM OF A WALTZ BECAUSE I WROTE SO MANY WALTZES GUYS PLEASE

[curreeusly-ominous-elf]

Me: sits in practise room quietly, looking at sheet music Pianist next door: suddenly starts playing fortissimo Beethoven right next to the wall I’m leaning against Me: dies from shock and ascends to heaven, where Beethoven is waiting to laugh at me

[die-erlkoenigin]

your fave is problematic: beethoven

-scared my girlfriend

[vanbeethoven-official]

SHE MINE NOW

[straussii-official]

You're in the club and this guy plays subito fortissimo at your girlfriend What do you do

[straussii-official]

@vanbeethoven-official I have risen from the dead to provide a late and indirect contribution to the baking party, coffee creme biscuits :3 I didn’t have much of a hand in baking them BUT they were baked fresh today in the household so I hope they count >.>

[clevergirl]

I gave this book to my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day.

[pianistical]

I’m really curious.

I LAUGHED TOO HARD WHEN I SAW NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS, DEBUSSY AND PUSSY AND MONSIEUR BUTTERFLY HELP ME

[soubrette-girl]

i’M cRYING

[tinyoperadiva-deactivated-6-2-1]

BUY MY THIS BOOK AND I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. IF YOU ARE DATING ME AND BUY ME THIS EXPECT AN IMMEDIATE REWARD. INCLUDING MY HAND IN MARRIAGE.

DONE

[clevergirl]

I’m not dating him anymore, but I want to get another copy of this for myself.

[bach-is-god]

I forgot about this gem. Too bad my boyfriend (WHO WAS A COMPOSER) broke up with me.

[jsbach-official]

@franzschubert-official what’s that about unfinished

[straussii-official]

I'd put the blue in your Danube ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[official-anton-bruckner]

All these official accounts being deactivated

really spooked rn

[robertschumann-official]

@official-robertschumann is back dw!! 

[jsbach-official]

Errrr dad is still here

Follow for grounding for kinkshaming

[tychography-deactivated20161203]

Reblog if you’re dead

Wanna see how many people are dead

[straussii-official]

When are you gonna make out with Brahms

When we’re both good and ready@johannesbrahms-official I’m down if you are ;)

[die-erlkoenigin]

@straussii-official is this you

[straussii-official]

Don't talk to me or me ever again

[straussii-official]

Help me Johann Strauss II, whoever the hell you are. You're my only Ho.

[die-erlkoenigin]

@how-very-curreeus

I’m a good girlfriend I make musical shitposts just for you

[claraschumann-official]

I appears to me that there are now two bobberts… for both claras i assume? 

[robertschumann-official]

fanny said “why not clone bob” so bob was cloned

[official-robertschumann]

that me! hello other clara <33

[official-claraschumann]

TWO ROBERTS TWO CLARAS TWICE THE DESTRUCTIVE POWER EVERYONE COME FIGHT US THE FOUR OF US CAN TAKE YOU ALL

[straussii-official]

@johannesbrahms-official DO SOMETHING

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

roses are red violets are blue arturo márquez danzón no. 2

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

roses are red violets are blue shostakovich symphony no. 2

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

roses are red violets are blue mozart concerto for solo bassoo

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

n

[puccini-official]

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In my last opera I killed a poor girl named Liu.

[straussii-official]

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Waltzes have three beats and polkas have two