almost home
roma★
sheepfilms
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Claire Keane
noise dept.
occasionally subtle
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
DEAR READER
Origami Around
YOU ARE THE REASON
🪼
todays bird
oozey mess
Xuebing Du
Peter Solarz
JBB: An Artblog!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
@theartofmadeline
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seen from United States
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@strawberry-peach
What you'll probably see in this blog
As of now. Mostly. Sorta. Intermitently :
Pedro Pascal related shit
Tom Hardy related shit
Glen Powell related shit
Jason Sudeikis related shit
Albrecht Schuch related shit
Tom Wlaschiha related shit
(I try to tag as consistently as possible but I might fuck up)
GLEN POWELL as BEN RICHARDS THE RUNNING MAN (2025)
Ilya and Shane, on top of being The Lovebirds Of All Time, are best fucking friends.
Shane is the #1 person Ilya gossips with. Since Shane isn’t the best on picking up subtext, all of the drama Ilya has to share is a complete surprise to him. Which makes him both the most entertained by the gossip and the most entertaining gossip partner.
Shane has an extremely dry sense of humor, and in public he’ll whisper deadpan commentary into Ilya’s ear while Ilya tries not to cry laughing.
Ilya has a very dark sense of humor that makes most people who hear it uncomfortable, but not Shane. Shane thinks it’s absolutely hilarious every time.
Ilya and Shane love to sit in the same room, do separate activities, and barely speak to each other. Shane will read a book while Ilya plays a video game, and one of them will have their feet in the other’s lap.
While everyone in the league thinks Ilya is a huge asshole, Shane thinks he’s hilarious. In fact, Shane usually agrees with Ilya’s chirps and will not defend anyone against them.
I just love the idea that they’re absolute best friends.
“He was mad after”
- Rooster
“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid
I love soulmates!!!! the its you? or the fuck why is it you? or even the thank god its you or especially the why cant it be you? or maybe the i don't care if its not you, i choose you
Shane shows up to an open practice with a black eye. Shane refuses to talk about it and Ilya keeps trying to hide a grin. Someone takes a picture of him and it goes viral.
The internet is divided: Is the black eye a sex injury or is Ilya an abuser?
The locker room is full of guys making sex jokes at them, to Ilya’s great amusement and Shane’s annoyance. Shane keeps hoping people will stop talking about it, but when the black eye only looks worse at the next game, it’s unavoidable. The media keeps asking cheekily about it and there are think pieces being written online about how Ilya is an abuser and here are all the signs of how he has been abusing Shane for years.
Shane gets his hands on the latter and is angrier at that than he is prideful. So, he drops the video.
The video is from a surveillance camera of the Rozanov-Hollander house’s backyard. Shane is crouched down playing tug of war with their dog Anya. He and Anya are both refusing to let go of rope. Suddenly, Anya drops it and Shane’s hands fling back toward his face and he smacks himself in the face with hands still around the toy. He drops to his back and cups his hands over his eyes.
Ilya runs into view, kneeling next to Shane and is seen as asking him what’s wrong. When Shane explains, Ilya falls over laughing on the grass and Shane throws the dog toy at his head. Ilya gets up and crouches down over Shane and gives him a kiss on the cheek right below his eye. The video ends as he’s leaning down while speaking to give him a kiss on his lips.
Shane captions the video: Word of advice. Let the dog win.
Forever thinking about “Boston is nice too?” and wanting to throw up about it. Just sitting on the floor of a gym across from the stranger who would be the Shane of his existence like.
I am so far away from home. I am so afraid but I cannot show it. I’m going to be all on my own out there and people are not kind to me. I’ve always been alone, but never this kind of alone before. I don’t really know you, but you seemed kind. And earnest. You would not lie to me. Is it safe? Will I be happy there and safe? Boston is nice too?
Ougghhhhgg. My brave little bug I’mgping to be sick
no but seriously like
yuna was born and raised in montreal. david went to college there. they definitely took shane to metros games at the bell center growing up. he KNOWS montreal, at least a little bit. but ilya? he doesn’t know shit about boston. never been there in his fucking life. he speaks english, sure, but speaking a language and knowing literally anything else about a city, about a country, are such vastly different things.
and here’s this boy, who came to find him and introduce himself to ilya when he had absolutely no obligation to. and he tells him yeah, boston’s great too, and he believes him, because he’ll believe in anything if shane hollander says it.
“Shane fuck Shane help we fucked up, we lost Ilya, I swear he was here one second ago and now-“
“Haas, where are you right now?”
“The club by the hotel.”
“And he’s not in the bathroom?”
“No.”
“Not on the roof?”
“No.”
“Not trying to access any of the dancers poles?”
“What? Why would- Oh, Troy says no.”
“Is he hanging out with drunk girls in the women’s bathroom?”
“Umm, one sec. Harris, can you ask her if Ilya is in there? … Harris says no.”
“Ok. What were you talking about before he disappeared?”
“We were trying to figure out where to eat.”
“Did anyone bring up sushi?”
“He didn’t say he wanted-“
“Just answer the question.”
“Uh yeah, someone suggested it, but he said he wanted-“
“He’s at the pier.”
“What?”
“He got bored, sushi put fish on his brain, which made him think about water, and he likes going to piers, and the hotel is walking distance from a boardwalk by the water. He’s there, most likely trying to look at fish going under the dock.”
“… How do you know that?”
“Do you have any ideas how many times I have gotten this exact phone call? He’s easier to catch if you bait him with mozzarella sticks but make sure he knows he only gets them if he comes quietly. If you let him negotiate he will take the sticks and run. Cliff always fell for that.”
we all know ilya loves trash tv, fashion, gossip, and pop culture. somewhere along the line, he ends up bored one night, and stumbles across a documentary about Princess Diana. big mistake
needless to say, ilya watches this story of a kind, beautiful, loving young blond woman whose rich and powerful husband abuses and resents her. she struggles with mental illness, and dies young, leaving behind two teenage sons. the youngest son becomes an exile from his home country, in large part because of who they chose to love. shane finds ilya crying so hard he throws up
Happy 35th Birthday Ilya Rozanov ❤️
happy birthday ilya rozanov i hope you get dicked down by your beautiful jock husband today
Heated Rivalry, p. 159
Ilya: All in all a 100% successful trip Shane: We lost Hayden Ilya: All in all a 100% successful trip
Venom: Let There Be Carnage dir. Andy Serkis
I guess this is goodbye. Oh, yeah. Finally something we can agree on.
we really didn’t appreciate Tom Hardy looking like shit enough
can you imagine if a montreal player chirped ilya about his mama. Things to Think because i don't even think he'd be mad i think he'd just be like. There. but not really
